My mama is in heaven

BrittanyC
BrittanyC Member Posts: 100
edited March 2014 in Ovarian Cancer #1
My mama passed this early morning, December 7th at 1:15 am.

My grandma and I were asleep.. or trying to sleep on recliners that were on each side of my mom's bed.

Mom had been asleep for 2 days without opening her eyes.

I was restless because nurses kept coming in.

I was restless for a reason.

I was on my phone texting friends and I heard heavy breathing. I turned over and my mom's eyes were WIDE OPEN!!

I woke grandma up... and my mom continued to breathe heavily as though she was gasping for air. Her lungs were congested.

Mom's foot was discolored. That is a sign. And a few hours after I got back, her knee and ear was discolored.

It wasn't long. About 30 minutes after grandma and I were holding mom's hand and speaking to her, mama left.

Her agony, pain, and suffering ended this morning.

Now I'm wide awake and eating as I type this.

I didn't cry as much as I thought.

I am exhausted.
I am happy that this had ended, yet very sad. Sad that my mom can't be here for major milestones, and I am sad that she is gone. But I know she will be looking after me.

Another door closes, and one opens.

Next fall, I will be going to school to become a Medical Assistant.

RIP Mama.
You will rest soundly.

Comments

  • Gunhild
    Gunhild Member Posts: 36
    Bless You
    God Bless You. You have shown great strength and fortitude in dealing with your Mother's journey
  • Barbara53
    Barbara53 Member Posts: 652
    the blessing of peace
    Thanks so much for sharing your story. I'm caring for my mother, and hope I can be as good of a daughter to my mom as you have been for yours.

    Many many years from now, when your time comes, you will see her again, happy and healthy. Until then, I hope you are healed by continuous blessings of peace. Please stay around, because we love you.
  • lindaprocopio
    lindaprocopio Member Posts: 1,980 Member
    Barbara53 said:

    the blessing of peace
    Thanks so much for sharing your story. I'm caring for my mother, and hope I can be as good of a daughter to my mom as you have been for yours.

    Many many years from now, when your time comes, you will see her again, happy and healthy. Until then, I hope you are healed by continuous blessings of peace. Please stay around, because we love you.

    Any mother would be blessed to have a daughter like you!
    My most profound sympathy, sweetheart. I have followed your posts and your mother truly knew that she was loved every day on this earth, and in heaven she knows that she is loved still. Your current grief is a tribute to her and something she would want to spare you from. Love never dies, and each day as she wraps you in her lingering love, the sharp new pain will soften into something more bearable. You know that your mother is in a better place, free of pain. Take good good care of yourself as you work through this new period in your life. ((((HUGS)))))
  • Lisa13Q
    Lisa13Q Member Posts: 677
    My tears for you
    I am so sorry Brittany. I cried this am for you. We joined this board around the same time and I aways felt a connection to you. Your mother is probably watching you right now, but at this point she has no more pain. You are a wonderful daughter and i hope I can be as good to my mother as you have been to yours. You will be a great person to have in the medical field.
  • saundra
    saundra Member Posts: 1,370 Member
    Isaiah 40:31
    "but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." I am having a mental picture of your mother soaring on the wings of eagles and having such a beautiful view of the love you showed her on earth. My how she is soaring!!!! That's the promise God gives us. I know exactly how you feel, sad but relieved that she is at peace and free of discomfort at last. Wrapping my arms around you from across the miles. Feel it, believe it. We are with you. You are not alone. Saundra
  • Cindy Bear
    Cindy Bear Member Posts: 569
    My deepest sympathy
    Brittany, I've been following your story and I am so sorry to hear of your mother's passing. I am twice your age and don't have your courage, strength and grace. You were your mother's angel and now she's your angel. My mother passed away from stage IV uterine cancer in June of this year and I am still struggling with the loss. I have been lurking around the boards for months now looking for answers and comfort and now I keep coming back because I've grown to know and care about so many of the brave, strong women on these boards (ovarian and uterine). I am angry too because I believe my mother was a victim of medical negligence and agism. Symptoms she had were all written off ..as arthritus, age-related asthma etc. I don't think this is the case with you, I get the impression you were very happy with your mother's medical team and that has to be a great comfort to you.
    My thoughts and prayers are with you at this difficult time.
  • jane65
    jane65 Member Posts: 277
    Dear Brittany
    My Dear Brittany,

    My deepest condolences to you and your family. You and Mom have a special bond that will never be broken.

    I understand your feelings because when the doctor came to tell me that my Mom was finally at peace, a wave of relief rushed over me. No more suffering, now she was at peace.

    I wish you good luck at school, Mom will always be so proud of you.

    You're an amazing and loving daughter.

    Jane
  • arbor3
    arbor3 Member Posts: 103
    DEAR BRITTANY
    I am so sorry Brittany. Your Mom was so lucky to have you for a daughter, you are so loving and caring. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

    Hugs!!!!!Dinora
  • Mawty
    Mawty Member Posts: 133
    I'm so sorry
    Brittany, my prayers are with you as you mourn. My mother was 90 when she died, and I didn't think it would hit me as hard as it did. After all, I was 56! But losing your mom is a very hard thing. I'm praying you will have peace in your heart and know that your mother is always going to be with you. I have a friend who died of cancer, and he was a painter. He said he was going to heaven that day and he was going to paint the beautiful sunset. That has stuck with me. Think of all the beautiful sunsets your mom is going to see. I agree with all the other ladies, you have been a wonderful daughter to your mom, and she knew how much you loved her. Again, I'm praying for you.

    Blessings,
    Marty
  • Cindy54
    Cindy54 Member Posts: 452
    For You
    Brittany, I have followed your journey with your Mom since the beginning. I was always so touched by the love and the bond you two shared. I wish you peace. And the hope that one day you will see her again. She knew how much you loved her. I am sure she will be there to guide you along as you continue on your own journey. You will make a great addition to the medical field. I wish you well. My tears with yours. Hugs, Cindy
  • fuzzytrouble
    fuzzytrouble Member Posts: 212
    so sorry
    I just want to say how sorry I am that your mom has gotten her wings. The best thing is that she knew she was not alone. You take care of yourself and I know you will make a great Medical Assistant.

    Hug from Oregon
  • BonnieR
    BonnieR Member Posts: 1,526 Member
    God Bless
    Dear Brittany, I am so sorry for your loss ~ saying prayers during this time for you and sending lots cyber hugs. God Bless Bonnie
  • mopar
    mopar Member Posts: 1,972 Member
    DEAREST BRITTANY:
    How my heart aches for you today. May you continue to find peace in knowing that your dear mother is at rest, no longer in pain, and that one day you will meet again. Until then, she lives on in your heart. Please keep in touch and let us know how you are doing.

    Luv and hugs,
    Monika

    Weeping endures for a night, but joy comes in the morning.
  • nancy591
    nancy591 Member Posts: 1,027 Member
    sorry
    Brittany,
    I too followed you and your Mom's story. Best wishes to you and your family. I think you should think about enrolling in nursing school. I sent an email to the address you have listed on your info page. Be well.
    Nancy
  • LPack
    LPack Member Posts: 645
    Thank you
    Brittany,

    Thank you for always being so willing to share your feelings with us. What a wonderful daughter you are.

    Best wishes for your desire to become a Medical Assistant.

    Looking forward to meeting your mom one day and you too.

    Love,
    Libby
  • ladyjogger31
    ladyjogger31 Member Posts: 289
    LPack said:

    Thank you
    Brittany,

    Thank you for always being so willing to share your feelings with us. What a wonderful daughter you are.

    Best wishes for your desire to become a Medical Assistant.

    Looking forward to meeting your mom one day and you too.

    Love,
    Libby

    God Bless!
    So sorry to hear about your Mom. You were a wonderful daughter. My thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time.
    Love, Terry
  • BrittanyC
    BrittanyC Member Posts: 100

    God Bless!
    So sorry to hear about your Mom. You were a wonderful daughter. My thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time.
    Love, Terry

    Thank you everyone for your
    Thank you everyone for your support. It has meant a lot to me the past 7 months.

    This coming Saturday, my grandma and I will be holding an open house sort of celebration of my mom's life. 4 of her siblings will be here and I have invited many many friends and family.

    I know my mom would not want it to be a sad thing, so I said "Bring happy memories." And attire should not be full black outfits. Hawaiian (my mom and I were born born in Hawaii) or casual.

    I feel relieved that my mom is now out of pain. I have so many things to do. I will be moving out of our apartment and with my dad. My grandma suggested that I get a pet or 2 as companions, as I do feel lonely when I am by myself. I have always loved bunnies, so perhaps looking after one and caring for one will make me smile a little bit more.

    My mother has been cremated and she wishes that her ashes be spread in Hawaii. Next year, grandma is going to send me to Hawaii when my mom's siblings visit, and that is when the sad part will begin.

    I will continue to be on here :) I will be floating around and reading to try to help others.

    Again, thank you ladies!
    Keep on fighting :)
  • selenia
    selenia Member Posts: 1
    BrittanyC said:

    Thank you everyone for your
    Thank you everyone for your support. It has meant a lot to me the past 7 months.

    This coming Saturday, my grandma and I will be holding an open house sort of celebration of my mom's life. 4 of her siblings will be here and I have invited many many friends and family.

    I know my mom would not want it to be a sad thing, so I said "Bring happy memories." And attire should not be full black outfits. Hawaiian (my mom and I were born born in Hawaii) or casual.

    I feel relieved that my mom is now out of pain. I have so many things to do. I will be moving out of our apartment and with my dad. My grandma suggested that I get a pet or 2 as companions, as I do feel lonely when I am by myself. I have always loved bunnies, so perhaps looking after one and caring for one will make me smile a little bit more.

    My mother has been cremated and she wishes that her ashes be spread in Hawaii. Next year, grandma is going to send me to Hawaii when my mom's siblings visit, and that is when the sad part will begin.

    I will continue to be on here :) I will be floating around and reading to try to help others.

    Again, thank you ladies!
    Keep on fighting :)

    Brittany C
    oh Brittany what a wonderful daughter you have been, just know in your heart that she really is not gone only physically her spirit lives on and yes she is watching over you and will be there in those moments when you will have your milestones like when you graduate, get married, have children etc she will always be there by your side, If you can buy this dvd title "Life after Life" by Dr. Raymond Moody jr, and also go on to the website ssbaltimore.org they have live web every Saturday either live or tape shows, it will open a new way of viewing life and give you some piece of mind. Honey Please take care of yourself and try now to get the needed sleep you need.
  • kayandok
    kayandok Member Posts: 1,202 Member
    BrittanyC said:

    Thank you everyone for your
    Thank you everyone for your support. It has meant a lot to me the past 7 months.

    This coming Saturday, my grandma and I will be holding an open house sort of celebration of my mom's life. 4 of her siblings will be here and I have invited many many friends and family.

    I know my mom would not want it to be a sad thing, so I said "Bring happy memories." And attire should not be full black outfits. Hawaiian (my mom and I were born born in Hawaii) or casual.

    I feel relieved that my mom is now out of pain. I have so many things to do. I will be moving out of our apartment and with my dad. My grandma suggested that I get a pet or 2 as companions, as I do feel lonely when I am by myself. I have always loved bunnies, so perhaps looking after one and caring for one will make me smile a little bit more.

    My mother has been cremated and she wishes that her ashes be spread in Hawaii. Next year, grandma is going to send me to Hawaii when my mom's siblings visit, and that is when the sad part will begin.

    I will continue to be on here :) I will be floating around and reading to try to help others.

    Again, thank you ladies!
    Keep on fighting :)

    Dearest Brittany,
    I am so sorry for you huge loss and I have tears streaming down my face as I read your posts! You are to be commended for being a wonderful support to your mom and helping her face death with dignity and courage. I love it that you are celebrating her life, and I love the idea of not wearing black. I pray that as you grieve your loss, you will be filled with God's love and peace.
    Warm hugs,
    Kathleen