New, start chemo Monday...

Snoog Member Posts: 3
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
Hello everyone, I am new to this and am scared...I am being strong for my family and I have positive feelings most of the time but I feel alone, I am having a hard time really connecting my feelings with family and friends, some family and friends change the subject or discuss something/someone different or "worse" do I handle this? When and where do I go to scream,cry, or just get my frustrations out? I go tomorrow morning for my port surgery and then i start my chemo on monday. Any suggestions:) Thanks.


  • damama24
    damama24 Member Posts: 174 Member
    chemo mon
    I know how you feel. Sometimes I just want to scream and cry and say this isn't fair why me. I just started chemo on Sept.2nd of this year I have had 6 rounds with 20 more to go. Try to come to this site and read the posts,ask questions. The people here are supportive and helpful. This disease can be lonely but coming here helps you to know that you are not alone and there are others fighting and they will encourage you and help lift you up when you feel down. Try to stay positive and keep yourself busy. I will add you to my prayers please take care of yourself. Deb
  • Shayenne
    Shayenne Member Posts: 2,342
    Welcome Snoog!!
    It's so nice to meet you! I wish you luck with that port surgery, you may feel a little sore after for a few weeks, but it's well worth getting that instead of always getting stuck in the hands and arms!

    I know what you mean about discussing your cancer with other people, and honestly, I don't think they are trying to be rude changing the subject, I think they really aren't ready to hear certain things, or not wanting to talk about it because they think that you don't want to be talking about it, or say something that may scare you, and want to try to keep your mind off the cancer, which is ok, it's nice to talk about something else then cancer, but I know you want to talk about it, and when they are ready to hear what you have to say about your life, or what you are going through, they will come around, remember, it's hard on them hearing you have it in the first place, and are sad as well, but my kids now talk about it more almost a year later, then when I was first diagnosed.

    You are allowed to scream and cry, this is a part of the cycle, like Buzzard will tell you, he kicks garbage cans!! yes, this man takes his anger out on the garbage cans, like they ever hurt him in the first place LOL!

    Are you on any anti-depressants, or anti-anxiety meds? this should be discussed with your onc as well, they do help me as well, where I don't dwell on the dark thoughts, I do things to keep my mind from staying negative, I clean, do theater, go to movies, read, stay active as you can, but take time to rest that body as well.

    What stage are you and what chemo will you be taking? It may be a bit sore with that port is so new. I use an Emla cream, a lidocaine type cream which numbs the skin the area of the port is, so I don't feel the needle going in, it's just glob it on the whole are about an hour before you get chemo, put it on thickly, and then put a piece of saran wrap on top so it doesn't get on your clothes. It does help.

    I hope to hear from you soon, and hope you post away! you can vent here, talk here, about anything! we're here for you!

  • coloCan
    coloCan Member Posts: 1,944 Member
    Hello Snoog:Port
    procedure to implant port should be pretty straightforward with a local anesthesia and it shouldn;t take that long. You will have discomfort for a few days afterwards, particularly when going to sleep-depends on your favorite side and where port is(mine's in upper left of chest,even tho currently not working).Once you get used to port you don't notice it much and it supposedly makes chemo more effective.Good luck with your procedure and subsequent chemo. Take it day by day, try to be positive and be strong as your enemy is-you have to be stronger. Tge battle can be won.....Steve