feeling really down, may need more surgery.

jane65

I don't post here very often, or even reply to others posts, but I've come to know that your a wonderful and caring group of ladies.
You support each other and try to give advice when you feel that you can help. Bless you for that.

I'm going through a rough time now, I had the double hernia surgery, laparoscope and incision, and at my 1 week check up things looked fine.
Then I began to notice a lump where the left umbilical hernia had been. At my 1 month check up last week, my surgeon was surprised and said he didn't know what the hard lump is.

We're hoping that it's not the hernia again, but he's not sure. Of course if that's the problem, I'll need repeat surgery. What else could it be?

I'm seeing my oncologist Monday, he'll be scheduling a CT scan to see the progression of my OVCA and decide on the next chemo drug to start. I'll also get my CA test results on Monday.

The scan will also give my surgeon information of what the lump is, and what needs to be done. He'll be waiting for those results.

The last CT showed that the cancerous lymph nodes are growing again, we were waiting for me to recover before we tackled the cancer again.

I'm feeling very sad, and down now. I knew we'd base my chemo on the upcoming CT and CA, but now I don't know where I stand.

I'm on an anti depressant, but I just want to crawl into a hole and I don't feel angry at the cancer, or hopeful the way I did before.

I just needed some understanding ladies to talk to, we share this monster disease and I know you won't say hang in there, everything will be fine. We know that it won't be.

Thanks for listening,
Jane

saundra

What I would do...
Dear Jane, I do know that this is a scary time for you.
I think that I would ask if the antidepressants should have an increase in dosage for the time being when you see your doctor. I take a small dose of 10 mg. and if I thought I would need more at any future time, I would not hesitate to ask my oncologist. Mine is a combination of anti-depressant and anti-anxiety medication. I believe that it helps me not to be so anxious about upcoming test results and keeps me on a more even keel in order to deal with this disease. It really is a "dis-ease", isn't it?
I have my 5th dose of carboplatin next Wed. with my first bout of recurrence. The fourth dose caused an allergic reaction and I turned red and my nose closed shut. The throat stayed open. This time I am pre-medicating with steroids starting two days before and they will hang a bag of benedryl before the carbo.
I am a little anxious knowing that I could get into trouble anyway, but the professionals will be there with me and I will be watched closely. Carbo works so well for me that I elected to try it one more time, before going to another choice of chemo. I just am trying to live one day at a time and not let myself wonder into the worry path....
Keep your chin up, Jane. We are here for you. Saundra

froggy1

Hello Jane
Dearest Jane,
I'm so sorry to hear about your latest problem. This disease seems to have no limits to what it can put us through. I, too, don't post a whole lot, but 'appreciate this board SO much. I don't think those who are not in our shoes can relate.
I just had major bowel reconstruction surgery two weeks ago and 'am wondering if it even worked because I feel just awful. If I have to have another NG tube shoved down my throat, I don't know how I will stand it.
I haven't gone the anti-depressant route, but I know it is very helpful for some. I sometimes get tired of all the "just think positive and it will be all-right" comments. Most of which are from people who are not in our shoes.
I'm hoping that your hernia hasn't returned. 'Will keep you in my thoughts and be wishing only the best for you. I hope you find some hope and good news in the coming weeks.
Be in touch, Luv, Froggy

ladyjogger31

froggy1 said:

Hello Jane
Dearest Jane,
I'm so sorry to hear about your latest problem. This disease seems to have no limits to what it can put us through. I, too, don't post a whole lot, but 'appreciate this board SO much. I don't think those who are not in our shoes can relate.
I just had major bowel reconstruction surgery two weeks ago and 'am wondering if it even worked because I feel just awful. If I have to have another NG tube shoved down my throat, I don't know how I will stand it.
I haven't gone the anti-depressant route, but I know it is very helpful for some. I sometimes get tired of all the "just think positive and it will be all-right" comments. Most of which are from people who are not in our shoes.
I'm hoping that your hernia hasn't returned. 'Will keep you in my thoughts and be wishing only the best for you. I hope you find some hope and good news in the coming weeks.
Be in touch, Luv, Froggy

Jane
Maybe Saundra is right,you may need to have your medication raised. I know you are going thru alot right now and it sure is not easy. Lets hope that you don't need another operation.Good luck Monday! I will be praying for you.Please let us know how you make out.
Hugs and Prayers,
Terry

BonnieR

Hugs
Dearest Jane,

I have also had hernia repair and want to let you know I have a rather large hard bundle where the repair was. It is not cancer and for the longest time every Fellow would feel my stomach and asked "Do you have a hernia or is this a tumor"... nope I would say just think its a bad hernia repair. I pray that is all that is happening for you also ~ it is just the scarring and mesh that created this bump. Sending lots of positive energy your way. Prayers ♥ Hugs Bonnie

jane65

BonnieR said:

Hugs
Dearest Jane,

I have also had hernia repair and want to let you know I have a rather large hard bundle where the repair was. It is not cancer and for the longest time every Fellow would feel my stomach and asked "Do you have a hernia or is this a tumor"... nope I would say just think its a bad hernia repair. I pray that is all that is happening for you also ~ it is just the scarring and mesh that created this bump. Sending lots of positive energy your way. Prayers ♥ Hugs Bonnie

Bonnie
Hi Bonnie,
I'm feeling a little better today, so I decided to look at the website.

I'm hoping that it's just as you said, not a hernia again, but perhaps just a collection of fluid.

I'm seeing my oncologist tomorrow and I know he'll schedule a CT scan, and give me my CA results. Once the CT report is back, we'll know what we're dealing with.

I'm bringing the office staff poinsettia plants, they liked that last year, and chocolate for my chocohalic oncologist. They're wonderful and really deserve recognition.

I hope you're feeling well today.
Jane