First holiday without Jack

pattynonews
pattynonews Member Posts: 176
edited March 2014 in Caregivers #1
Well it was the first holiday without Jack , It was hard, Everytime I made something I just thought how much Jack would love it, I hope everyone is doing well and had a nice Thanksgiving and I am blessed to have all of ya support here .

love patty

Comments

  • MichelleP
    MichelleP Member Posts: 254
    #2
    Patty
    This was also my first holiday without my husband :( BUT I decided that I was going to make this day a celebration of his life....so...I set his usual place setting at the head of the table and my son and I talked about memories....good ones...and it helped both of us a LOT! May God bless you and help all of us through the holidays!

    PS: And as far as depression I would recommend that you ask your doctor about a medication called "Lexapro". If you can't afford it then go to www.pprax.org and file a request form. They will ship a 90 day supply for you to your doctors office free of charge. this medication has done wonders for me and my coping skills.

    God Bless dear one ((hugs))
  • pattynonews
    pattynonews Member Posts: 176
    #3
    MichelleP said:

    Patty
    This was also my first holiday without my husband :( BUT I decided that I was going to make this day a celebration of his life....so...I set his usual place setting at the head of the table and my son and I talked about memories....good ones...and it helped both of us a LOT! May God bless you and help all of us through the holidays!

    PS: And as far as depression I would recommend that you ask your doctor about a medication called "Lexapro". If you can't afford it then go to www.pprax.org and file a request form. They will ship a 90 day supply for you to your doctors office free of charge. this medication has done wonders for me and my coping skills.

    God Bless dear one ((hugs))

    no holidays this year
    I started taking cymbalta, and St john wort, i was on it at the end with Jack but I just stop taking care of my self and concentrating on him, so now I hace to get it back in my system, I just dont seem to have the will to do anything, Now I went back to work I want to go to work and stay in bed, I dont even want to bother with christmas this year, it was just to sad today and we are having midnight mass in honor of Jack on christmas eve, I just feel like Jack s totally gone,and he has gone and forgotten me, I have never felt so alone,
  • pipwe1
    pipwe1 Member Posts: 53
    #4
    pattynonews said:

    no holidays this year
    I started taking cymbalta, and St john wort, i was on it at the end with Jack but I just stop taking care of my self and concentrating on him, so now I hace to get it back in my system, I just dont seem to have the will to do anything, Now I went back to work I want to go to work and stay in bed, I dont even want to bother with christmas this year, it was just to sad today and we are having midnight mass in honor of Jack on christmas eve, I just feel like Jack s totally gone,and he has gone and forgotten me, I have never felt so alone,

    just so tired.....
    I spent the whole day alone today... it was one of the hardest things that I have done.... I feel alone too patty.... alone, confused... just so tired.... So many people asked me to spend the day with them but the only person I wanted to spend the day with isn't here anymore so what was the point in spending it with anyone else.... I carry my cell phone with me all day where ever I go to the bathroom.. outside... everywhere hoping that it will ring and everything will be back to normal.. this will all be a dream ... I'm just so sad I can't take it anymore.....

    Wendy
  • pattynonews
    pattynonews Member Posts: 176
    #5
    pipwe1 said:

    just so tired.....
    I spent the whole day alone today... it was one of the hardest things that I have done.... I feel alone too patty.... alone, confused... just so tired.... So many people asked me to spend the day with them but the only person I wanted to spend the day with isn't here anymore so what was the point in spending it with anyone else.... I carry my cell phone with me all day where ever I go to the bathroom.. outside... everywhere hoping that it will ring and everything will be back to normal.. this will all be a dream ... I'm just so sad I can't take it anymore.....

    Wendy

    Im right there with you
    Yea I am right there with you, we had Thansksgivig dinner with Jacks dad, but it was just another meal, I decided that Im not going to bother with christmas this year, I too just want to wake up and Jack is going to come through the door from band practice, telling me he is sorry he is late, I just want Jack to be here, and they say everything happens for a reason I keep asking what is the reason for all of this, I can nt seem to motiavte my self to anything but sleep and work I want so bad to work on Jack quilt , It just seems so unfair, I even asl god Im ready to go be with Jack, I just cant seem to get out of this black hole of depression

    patty
  • MichelleP
    MichelleP Member Posts: 254
    #6
    pattynonews said:

    Im right there with you
    Yea I am right there with you, we had Thansksgivig dinner with Jacks dad, but it was just another meal, I decided that Im not going to bother with christmas this year, I too just want to wake up and Jack is going to come through the door from band practice, telling me he is sorry he is late, I just want Jack to be here, and they say everything happens for a reason I keep asking what is the reason for all of this, I can nt seem to motiavte my self to anything but sleep and work I want so bad to work on Jack quilt , It just seems so unfair, I even asl god Im ready to go be with Jack, I just cant seem to get out of this black hole of depression

    patty

    Patty and Wendy....I
    Patty and Wendy....I understand how you both feel. It's only been a little over a month since my husband passed. The only thing I can say is that we need to remind ourselves that our loved ones are in a better place right now. No more sickness and no more pain....plus they are indeed with us anytime we need them. I take comfort in knowing that when my time comes we will be together again. That doesn't mean that I don't cry each and everyday, but if I thought we would never be together again then my life would mean nothing. BUT....we WILL BE WITH THEM AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!! None of this makes sense to us, but God does have a plan and we must accept that. Just talk to your loved one and ask them for strength!

    ((((hugs))))
  • grandmafay
    grandmafay Member Posts: 1,633 Member
    #7
    First Thanksgiving
    As you probably know, this was my first Thanksgiving without my husband. It had its tough times for me, too. I am really blessed with a supportive family, and we were all together. Our seven year old granddaughter said grace and asked God to look after Grandpa. She had evidently been practicing it for several days. Today, the daughters-in-law took me shopping. We left my house at about 4:30 AM. I'm not even sure what I bought. We are going to sort it all out later. I have decided that I am not going to decorate for Christmas. The dinner and brunch are not at my house, and I just don't want to deal with it this year. However, I have 4 granddaughters to spoil. I don't want to spoil their Christmas by not being a part of it. I know there will be tough times and times when I cry. I already do that. The family is going to try to get away for a couple of days after Christmas also. I think that will be good. Fay
  • pattynonews
    pattynonews Member Posts: 176
    #8
    MichelleP said:

    Patty and Wendy....I
    Patty and Wendy....I understand how you both feel. It's only been a little over a month since my husband passed. The only thing I can say is that we need to remind ourselves that our loved ones are in a better place right now. No more sickness and no more pain....plus they are indeed with us anytime we need them. I take comfort in knowing that when my time comes we will be together again. That doesn't mean that I don't cry each and everyday, but if I thought we would never be together again then my life would mean nothing. BUT....we WILL BE WITH THEM AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!! None of this makes sense to us, but God does have a plan and we must accept that. Just talk to your loved one and ask them for strength!

    ((((hugs))))

    thank you mchelle
    Thank you Michele after reading your messagae I feel a little better, You have always been there for me and I thank you That does give me comfort that I will meet up with Jack, Im trying to read more about heaven If I could just know that Jack was ok, and happy but he has not forgotten about me, Michelle thank you again, here is my personal email address, pattynonews@aol.com

    Thank you again Michelle
  • pipwe1
    pipwe1 Member Posts: 53
    #9
    MichelleP said:

    Patty and Wendy....I
    Patty and Wendy....I understand how you both feel. It's only been a little over a month since my husband passed. The only thing I can say is that we need to remind ourselves that our loved ones are in a better place right now. No more sickness and no more pain....plus they are indeed with us anytime we need them. I take comfort in knowing that when my time comes we will be together again. That doesn't mean that I don't cry each and everyday, but if I thought we would never be together again then my life would mean nothing. BUT....we WILL BE WITH THEM AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!! None of this makes sense to us, but God does have a plan and we must accept that. Just talk to your loved one and ask them for strength!

    ((((hugs))))

    michelle
    I wish i could sleep.. I've gone from sleeping too much to not sleeping at all....I've talked to my loved one Michelle... but I'm not getting an answer right now... I am going to go to church on Sunday.. the first time in a long time... maybe there I will get some answers and some strength... Thanksgiving night I got so drunk.. I needed to sleep so I thought that would help... it gave me 4 hours... and a headache the next morning.
  • MichelleP
    MichelleP Member Posts: 254
    #10
    grandmafay said:

    First Thanksgiving
    As you probably know, this was my first Thanksgiving without my husband. It had its tough times for me, too. I am really blessed with a supportive family, and we were all together. Our seven year old granddaughter said grace and asked God to look after Grandpa. She had evidently been practicing it for several days. Today, the daughters-in-law took me shopping. We left my house at about 4:30 AM. I'm not even sure what I bought. We are going to sort it all out later. I have decided that I am not going to decorate for Christmas. The dinner and brunch are not at my house, and I just don't want to deal with it this year. However, I have 4 granddaughters to spoil. I don't want to spoil their Christmas by not being a part of it. I know there will be tough times and times when I cry. I already do that. The family is going to try to get away for a couple of days after Christmas also. I think that will be good. Fay

    Patty and Pipwe
    Someone gave me a brochure about contacting your loved one. First and foremost you "must be calm and relaxed". Here is what it says:

    Create a space that is attractive and peaceful. Light a candle and soft music.

    You must be receptive. Any negative thoughts will only curtail your efforts.

    Lay down, get comfortable and think in your mind about all your blessings.

    Create your own golden aura. Breathe deeply, softening your body and imagine yourself breathing the golden light until you are enclosed in the the golden aura. Your loved one will find it easier to connect with gold.

    Then....see what happens.

    I have done this myself and at first it's difficult, but you must continue.

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