just curious...

dextrocardia
dextrocardia Member Posts: 3
edited March 2014 in Young Cancer Survivors #1
I am 21 years old and was diagnosed last year with a Neuroendocrine Carinoma in my Common Bile Duct and it also spread to my gallbladder. I spent a decent amount of time in the hospital due to some complications after my surgery (Whipple Procedure). I am just curious if anyone went through a time where they didn't feel like communicating or having any contact with their friends? I feel like ever since I went through this and had surgery I can't relate to any of my friends anymore. I know it shouldn't make a difference and you would think it would make us closer but I have not had the desire to talk to anybody but my parents and boyfriend (the only three people that were physically there for me daily I might add). Is this common?

Comments

  • marywest
    marywest Member Posts: 132
    #2
    I think its very common
    I can only speak for myself, but after going through chemo, radiation, sugery and all that stuff cancer does to you, I did not want to be around anyone except my daughter, who moved from Hawaii to be with me when I was diagnosed. I actualy found being around others irritated me. I have a large family here and many friends but I did not have the energy to talk. Its kinda hard to describe my feelings, almost sounds like I was selfish. I didn't want sympathy, I didnt' want to hear about the details of their daily lives, I didn't want gossip I didnt' want to talk cancer, the list goes on and on. What i realized is i just needed time to heal up inside and out. It was like starting life over again and walking with baby steps. After six months now from radiation, I am still tired, I am slowly starting to see friends again but only short visits. I dont' do anything like I used to but I think I will in time. Like I said I am just starting to visit. You have gone through alot!!!! No one knows how much you have been through except your parents and your boyfriend. Its ok not to have contact but on the other hand you could let your friends know your thinking of them and one day when you get your energy back and healing up more then you will be able to visit. You dont' want their feelings hurt and you dont' owe anyone explanations but I think it would make you feel a little better it you can let them know you just need more time to heal. Be easy on yourself, dont' allow yourself to get into any kind of condenmation or guilt for not seeing them. You are young, your energy and goals in life will return. but for right now, you do what you gotta do, keep a peaceful and remember, the desires to be with others will return at your own time.
  • marywest
    marywest Member Posts: 132
    #3
    marywest said:

    I think its very common
    I can only speak for myself, but after going through chemo, radiation, sugery and all that stuff cancer does to you, I did not want to be around anyone except my daughter, who moved from Hawaii to be with me when I was diagnosed. I actualy found being around others irritated me. I have a large family here and many friends but I did not have the energy to talk. Its kinda hard to describe my feelings, almost sounds like I was selfish. I didn't want sympathy, I didnt' want to hear about the details of their daily lives, I didn't want gossip I didnt' want to talk cancer, the list goes on and on. What i realized is i just needed time to heal up inside and out. It was like starting life over again and walking with baby steps. After six months now from radiation, I am still tired, I am slowly starting to see friends again but only short visits. I dont' do anything like I used to but I think I will in time. Like I said I am just starting to visit. You have gone through alot!!!! No one knows how much you have been through except your parents and your boyfriend. Its ok not to have contact but on the other hand you could let your friends know your thinking of them and one day when you get your energy back and healing up more then you will be able to visit. You dont' want their feelings hurt and you dont' owe anyone explanations but I think it would make you feel a little better it you can let them know you just need more time to heal. Be easy on yourself, dont' allow yourself to get into any kind of condenmation or guilt for not seeing them. You are young, your energy and goals in life will return. but for right now, you do what you gotta do, keep a peaceful and remember, the desires to be with others will return at your own time.

    thinking about you
    I have been wondering how you are doing?

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