LungCancer

MikelW

My name is mike 31m nc. Back in 05 my mom was found to have stage 4 nsclc. She had mets to the brain and pretty much everywhere else when they found it. As i have read your stories here i am shocked. My mom was offered radiation to the brain only! She took 3 treatments without concsent once she foundout she was getting treatment she refused to have anymore. Before the treatment she was paralized on the right side and could not speak. Very shortly after those 3 treatments to the brain she was moveing talking and haveing a good time like her old self. Surgery was mentioned but the doctors felt that there were several more mets on the brain that just did not show up on scans yet. My mom was told if her brain tumor was not treated right away she had less then two weeks to survive. Yet mom refused further treatment and left her fait upto god. My question is why was my mom not offered any chemo? No surgery? No way of really fighting? Yes she was very weak but yet very strong at will. Mom did not die in two weeks. Mom faught her battle internaly herself without treatment and lived for four months later. We are a family of seven kids and a dad, Mom did not wanna leave me as i was her baby boy and she wanted to be here for me. She would always call for me no1 else i took care of her infact saved her life several times before the cancer was even known to us. My family would not help out at all and once i was overwhelmed of takeing care of her alone they put her in a nurseing home and left her there alone till they figured she was close to the end. When doctors asked us about CPR or to bring her back after her heart stopped all my family basicly said let her die but i stopped that and got legal action to withdraw moms DNR order as she was not able to make that consent on her own. My family was pissed at me wanting to give mom everychance at life they thought mom would have wanted to die with no help to be brought back. My older sister was with mom one day when she wokeup my mom told her that she wanted cpr and to take all action to save her my family was shocked they thought i lied about moms wishes. Her is the twist to the story even thought my family wanted to let her die and i did not. The night her heart stopped i was the one that decided to stop CPR! Mom died September 20, 2006 At 10:05 pm. Whats odd is that mom stayed alive that whole time untill 5mins before her death i whispered in her ear told her i would be ok and that she did not need to suffer anymore that it was ok to let go and to go home. After i told her that i got 10 feet from her door when i heard on the intercom CODE BLUE ICU-2 Witch was my moms room yes right after i told my mom that and i just got outside her door her heart stopped.She passed away.. The cpr made my mom make sounds as if she was in pain and i could not bare it i told the doctors to let her go. They stopped CPR dont get me wrong they were doing cpr over 15mins with no change in her state. The docs said she had a tiny flicker of electrical activity and they thought that was comming from the cpr they thought she had already died before they started cpr. Now today in 2009 i have PTSD trama from watching my mom die. Sence her death i worry i have lung or oral cancer due to me being an avid heavy smoker like mom was. I am always scared i have lungcancer or mouth cancer and i am going crazy with worry. Like about 2 years ago i suddenly dropped from 165lbs to 120lbs in a couple of weeks. The docs scanned everything everywhere did blood work all of it. Nothing medical was found they think it was sever stress and me not eating. I forced myself to eat more now i am back up to 160lbs but i am always watching my weight to make sure it is not dropping. About 8months ago i contracted bacterial menigitise of the brain and spine and could have died but made it to the hospital in time. Today the only thing i can c wrong is a slight scratchy throat at the point of my right tonsil with is slightly larger and very pink. No weightloss no sickness i seem to be healthy in everyother way. But i am worried this might be oral cancer. Yea i know can be any simple thing as tonsils get infected very easy. But i have very bad teeth and alot of decay from never takeing care of them and i am so sorry for that now. And am trying to get money to get them removed. I run to the doctors all the time to the er everytime i think i have cancer and nothing so far was found. I am tired of running to docs i guess one question is at what point do i really need to be seen about cancer realeted concerns? Keep in mind i have sever panic disorder and alot of stress. Do i need to keep constantly getting chest x-rays? Or can i reduce this fear and worry somehow? And how can i stop smoking if not at all how to reduce it?? I know this story started out about mom and ended with my excessive fear but i need advise from ppl who has had cancer. Is this the devil or even god putting my worst fear in me to stop me from sinning? Or the devil to make me sin somehow? Even with my smoking i never ever thought about cancer till my mom caught it. Now its all i am concerned with. Also could anything have been done to make mom live alot longer then she did? Even though the cancer was all over her body? Even my moms mom died of lung cancer and she never smoked? My email is mpwusa@aim.com i hope it is ok to give my email i really need advise plz reply asap..

Enduring

I would just like to say
I would just like to say that it sounds like you did everything that you could do for your mom. I am a only child and my dad had a brain tumor. the doctors gave him 6 to 12 month to live.he did the chemo n radation thing. Why we agreed i have no idea, we decided to stop the treatments cause they would never help. my dad fell into a coma like state and when he would wake up he was 20 years in the past. the day came when hospice told me he had hours left. Like you I was there when my dad passed. I was able to tell him that I loved him so much and I would always make him proud that i was his daughter. He squeezed my hand and i knew he had heard me and he passed while holding my hand. That was the hardest thing but at the same time it was the most beautiful thing, something only him and i would ever have together. Please try and remember the good times and think that your mother would want you to enjoy life to the fullest and not waste your life away worring about cancer.I wish there was more i could say to help you with your struggle.

Good Luck,
Enduring