Everything

BrittanyC
BrittanyC Member Posts: 100
edited March 2014 in Ovarian Cancer #1
Lots of things need to be considered for my mom.

It is about my mom - it has.

I got a call from the social worker about my mom's procedure today.

It did not go well. Nothing could be done.

But the doctor wants to do more. He wants to keep trying until they get it in her intestine.

the social worker mentioned to me about care home options.
if my mom comes home, she will need nutrients through an IV and it needs to be changed. my mom needs help with practically everything.

My mom has worked with elderly people before. She knows how care homes work. My mom does not want to be put in one. I don't want her to.

Her doctor is not giving up on her.

I am just confused. What do I need to do for my mom? I know if she comes home, everything will be on me and it will make things hard. She would not want that for me.

I don't even know what I"m saying right now because I am so upset with my family. Espeically my brother. He doesn't care at all.

I just don't know where to turn for all of this.

Comments

  • Lisa13Q
    Lisa13Q Member Posts: 677
    #2
    Home Care
    Hi Brittany,

    So very sorry to hear about your mother. On a practical note, I would suggest asking the social worker what exactly is involved in staying at home care and seeing if it is something that she can provide some resources with. I know that some of the visiting nurses associations are wonderful..and provide all kinds of advice. The 800 UNited Way number in your area can also be very helpful. I understand about brothers. Mine isn't really quite with it either. we have an Ovarian Cancer Society in MN. Perhaps there is one near where you are and they could provide some ideas. Maybe, call the American Cancer Society and see what they have to say. Finally, in your heart of hearts you will figure out what you need to do and talk to your mom. She will help you too.

    Aside from the practical aspect of this, I am sending prayers tonight your way in hopes that you get some help and hope through this. You are an amazing young woman and I have faith you will work this out. I am sorry for your pain and will pray for you....and I know Saundra will have some incredibly excellent ideas as well.

    Sending angels you and your mother's way tonight...
  • saundra
    saundra Member Posts: 1,370 Member
    #3
    Dear Brittany
    I know exactly where you are emotionally. I faced the same with my mother in 2006 and a brother that was in his last two months fighting throat cancer so he could not do anything. My mother broke her hip, had a hip replacement and just as she was up and walking, fell and split her thigh bone the entire length to the knee. She never got out of bed after that and refused to move away from the same town as her son. Honestly, I could have not taken care of her at home alone. I could not lift her and would have had difficulty keeping her clean with the necessary diapers etc. She lived in a very small town with no home health care facilities. There was no choice, except long term care. I visited all of the homes in a 40 mile radius and found a really good one. I had to drive 160 miles, each way, to see her a couple of times a week for the time she was there. I did what I could. Sometimes you just can't do it alone. The main question to ask is where will she get the best care you can give. If that is in a nursing home, or with a hospice nurse coming daily to bathe, and do the IV, or what. You will have to research the facilities, talk with the medical staff, and consult with the social workers to gather all the information. An informed choice will be the best. This will be your hard decision and you will be able to tell your mother what has to be done in a loving way once you have studied what the choices are. I pray you will find peace in your decision. Saundra

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