Feeling so frustrated

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christinecarl
christinecarl Member Posts: 543 Member
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
Hi everyone,

I am feeling very frustrated because I can't seem to talk my sister into getting a colonoscopy. Both my mom and her mom died from colon cancer, I was diagnosed last December shortly after turning 40, so there is a strong family history. She will be 45 in December, so really she should have gone 5 years ago. I remind her when I talk to her about it and try not to harp, because I know sometimes that can cause people to back away even more from stuff. But seriously it is so annoying, I know you only have control over your own health, but it just makes me sad that she has not gone in yet. Does anyone else deal with this? What to do?

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  • karguy
    karguy Member Posts: 1,020 Member
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    I'm sorry
    I'm sorry you have to deal with that,but maybe if she saw what it's like to actually have to deal with cancer she might change her mind.I would kind of ignore it when people would tell me to get checked,untill my brother died of pancriatic cancer.I then got checked 2 months later,and I was dx with colon cancer.I have to wear a permanant colostomy bag,and I lost half my insides.She may be in denial,or maybe you could let her talk to some cancer patients.Good luck with whatever you try,but don't give up,even if you have to go with her when she gets it.
  • Nana b
    Nana b Member Posts: 3,030 Member
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    why?
    Why doesn't she want to get one? She's lived a long enough life? If you catch it early, cancer is curable. Not being mean, but maybe you need to just get dang mad, and tell her to get her arse to the doctor. You don't need to be worrying about her.

    ........okay, ask her nicely to do it for you. for your Mom's. Tell her, remind her that your moms paved the way for us, it was through their heatache and pain, that we have a better chance of survival....don't let what they had to go through be for not.

    Go get her........she's worth it.

    GlAD YOU GOT IT OFF YOUR CHEST BY COMING HERE!
  • Buzzard
    Buzzard Member Posts: 3,043 Member
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    Tell her this from me.......
    If I had of gone when I was 50 instead of 53 I would be having a benign tumor removed. It had been there for 10 years but had just turned cancerous, thus no node involvement. If she won't go then ask her why she doesn't feel like you are important enough to want to live for you. If she has polyps or even cancerous tumors she has a great chance of beating it or simply do nothing and roll the dice. Very few gamblers win. Or get her in the car and take a trip to Saint Judes hospital and see all of the children that would give anything to have the chance of life without cancer. If that doesn't do it then tell her if she needs money I'll give her $100 to get it done, but in order to get her money she has to supply me with the phone number of the Dr that did it and the date, and also the say so of you her sister, then I'll send it, and she can take you out to eat. If none of these make her go then tell her shes selfish, only to think about herself and not you, because she hurts you as much or more than herself if she doesn't take care of it now, especially with the history. I want to see everyone live longer than mid 50's......but ya gotta take some incentive to do so...Good Luck with her and Bless ya for staying after her...she'll come around soon.....Buzzard
  • coloCan
    coloCan Member Posts: 1,944 Member
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    Have your sister read posts on this site
    from those of us who neglected to have a colonoscopy in a timely manner and therefore all the chemo/radiation and surgeries we've all experienced as a result. By the time I did mine at 58 I was stage 3. As you know, the prep for colonoscopy is worst part and thats really nothing but drinking flavored liquid, pissing your brains out and then a little knockout shot for test itself, which sister won;t feel.Don;t give up overcoming her reluctance to do this....Steve
  • Joy1216
    Joy1216 Member Posts: 290 Member
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    Please tell your sister my story
    I had my first colonoscopy at age 56. I had no symptoms whatsoever. The GI doc did a biopsy of the only polyp he found. Two days later I was diagnosed with colon cancer. After my colon resection, it was determined to be stage 1. I met with an oncologist and no chemo or radiation was recommended for me. Three and a half years later I have had no recurrence. I feel fantastic and life is good. My GI doc keeps telling me that I am the poster child for early detection.

    I kept putting off having my first colonoscopy for six years because I had heard such horror stories about the prep. I rationalized that I was too busy at work. Actually, I was a wuss. The Miralax prep that I had with each of my three colonoscopies (two more since diagnosis) was tasteless and the quantity was far less than I had heard. Your sister can shop around for a GI doc who has his patients do the Miralax prep.

    I retired in January 06 and ran out of excuses not to have a physical and colonoscopy. I talked my husband into having both too. The results of my physical were great and my husband's were really bad. Then we had our colonoscopies. Mine revealed cancer and his was clear. I'm on what I call the 3-year plan for colonoscopies and my husband doesn't have to go back for ten years.

    The worst that can happen after a colonoscopy is a diagnosis of cancer. That happened to me, but because it was caught so early I am cancer-free and living life to the fullest. I will be praying that your sister gets a colonoscopy now rather than waiting.

    Joy
  • geotina
    geotina Member Posts: 2,111 Member
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    Ask her to do it for you
    Ask your sister to get a colonoscopy for you. Tell her it is the greatest gift she could give you. Some people think it is an embarassing test, are afraid of the prep. I had my second colonoscopy this past Tuesday and the prep was way better than 6 years ago. I just mixed Miralax with Gatoraide (I used lemonade) and getting it down was very easy. Once they give you the good medicine to put you out next thing you know they are waking you up. It is absolutely nothing to be embarassed about. Let her know you love her and want her around for a long time. I wish my husband had gone 6 years ago like I did, if he had, maybe he would not have Stage IV colon cancer. Good luck - Tina
  • christinecarl
    christinecarl Member Posts: 543 Member
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    Buzzard said:

    Tell her this from me.......
    If I had of gone when I was 50 instead of 53 I would be having a benign tumor removed. It had been there for 10 years but had just turned cancerous, thus no node involvement. If she won't go then ask her why she doesn't feel like you are important enough to want to live for you. If she has polyps or even cancerous tumors she has a great chance of beating it or simply do nothing and roll the dice. Very few gamblers win. Or get her in the car and take a trip to Saint Judes hospital and see all of the children that would give anything to have the chance of life without cancer. If that doesn't do it then tell her if she needs money I'll give her $100 to get it done, but in order to get her money she has to supply me with the phone number of the Dr that did it and the date, and also the say so of you her sister, then I'll send it, and she can take you out to eat. If none of these make her go then tell her shes selfish, only to think about herself and not you, because she hurts you as much or more than herself if she doesn't take care of it now, especially with the history. I want to see everyone live longer than mid 50's......but ya gotta take some incentive to do so...Good Luck with her and Bless ya for staying after her...she'll come around soon.....Buzzard

    Thanks everyone
    Thanks for your responses. Buzsard I appreciate the offer of paying her, but I feel like it would just be rewarding her bad decisions. I do not understand why she is doing this, I would guess it is the embarrassment factor. She helped my mom a lot when she was dying from this disease, so it is not like she has not been around to see what it can do to a person. I wish I had gone in sooner, but did not think I would need to worry before 40. Anyway thank you to everyone for being supportive.
  • geotina said:

    Ask her to do it for you
    Ask your sister to get a colonoscopy for you. Tell her it is the greatest gift she could give you. Some people think it is an embarassing test, are afraid of the prep. I had my second colonoscopy this past Tuesday and the prep was way better than 6 years ago. I just mixed Miralax with Gatoraide (I used lemonade) and getting it down was very easy. Once they give you the good medicine to put you out next thing you know they are waking you up. It is absolutely nothing to be embarassed about. Let her know you love her and want her around for a long time. I wish my husband had gone 6 years ago like I did, if he had, maybe he would not have Stage IV colon cancer. Good luck - Tina

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator
  • Shayenne
    Shayenne Member Posts: 2,342
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    unknown said:

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator

    That
    could be true as well Grace, also, I think we need to referred by a doctor to get a colonoscopy, I had suggested one to my gyno a few years ago, about getting one, as she was talking about me starting to get mammograms as well. My dad died of liver cancer, he was an alcoholic, but I wonder now if it started in his colon, this was back in 1986, as I don't have the family history for colon cancer, so I'm actually first with it, unless my father was, if he was misdiagnosed.

    But anyway, when I mentioned getting a colonoscopy (because of a segment on the "Today" show with Katie Couric) my gyno said I wouldn't need one till I was 50, and she wouldn't refer me to one, even though I had insurance. It's also the family history I think as well that they think we don't need it at such a young age, but here I am, a few years later at Stage 4, when who knows, I could have had this caught earlier should she have recommended me for one. It makes me so mad, but that's water under the bridge now, it doesn't do any good anymore to blame or be mad at anything or anyone now, it's not good for the vibes. I just have to think forward and try to live with it, as we all are. :)

    I feel sorry for people getting denied by their insurance companies very important tests, I mean, what the heck are we paying for then? they charge ya a bundle a month, and then it's up to them what we can or can't have, even though we're paying for their services.. they can rob you. So unfair.

    And good seeing you here!!!

    Hugsss!
    ~Donna
  • Kathryn_in_MN
    Kathryn_in_MN Member Posts: 1,252 Member
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    I can relate
    My brother and sister didn't respond too quickly when I asked them to get scoped.

    So after a few talkes, I wrote them both an email telling them how much it worried me, and asked them to do it for me, and to do it for their children. They both have children younger than mine - in grade school yet. I asked them if they want to be around to see them graduate? I told them I expect to be around to watch my son graduate from high school this year, and my daughter from college next year, but while I think I'll be around to see my youngest graduate from high school in 4 years, the reality is I might not. Our paternal grandmother died from liver cancer in the 1960's and she was only in her 50's. I suspect she may have had colon cancer and when they discovered cancer, she had mets to her liver. Our mother has had polyps (the pre-cancerous kind) removed at every colonoscopy she has had. With these three issues going on, it is VERY important now for my siblings, my children, and my nieces and nephews to be checked at a much younger age - they need to start at 35 or so.

    When friends and family ask what they can do for me, I tell them #1 on my list is to get a colonoscopy if they are age 50 or over, or if they have ANY concerns with their bowels or any family history of troubles. I tell them that taking that worry away from me is the best thing they can do for me.

    My brother and 3 good friends have gotten their scopes now. My brother and one friend each had pre-cancerous polyps removed. My cancer may have saved my brother's life - we'll never know. But who knows what that polyp might have been like in another 5 years if he waited till 50 for his colonoscopy? I have other friends with theirs on the schedule. And now my sister finally agreed to schedule hers too. She has her annual check-up soon and is going to ask her doctor to order the colonoscopy. I was so happy to hear that! I had been stressing about it. After my brother's scope, I feel confident that if they find anything it will still be a polyp for her too - and they can get rid of it before it has a chance to grow into a nasty tumor like mine.