Sunday School...
tommaseena
Member Posts: 1,769
PALM SUNDAY:
It was Palm Sunday and, because of a sore throat, five-year-old Johnny stayed home from church with a sitter. When the family returned home, they were carrying several palm brances. The boy asked what they were for.
"People held them over Jesus' head as he walked by,"
"Wouldn't you know it?" the boy fumed. "The one Sunday I don't go He shows up!"
CHILDREN'S SERMON:
One Easter Sunday morning as the minister was preaching the children's sermon, he reached into his bag of props and pulled out an egg. He pointed at the egg and asked the children, "What's in here?"
"I know!" a little boy exclaimed. "Pantyhose!"
SUPPORT A FAMILY:
The prospective father-in-law asked, "Young man, can you support a family?"
The surprised groom-to-be replied, "Well, no I was just planning to support your daughter. The rest of you will have to fend for yourselves."
GRANDMA'S AGE:
Little Johnny asked his grandma how old she was.
Grandma answered, "89 and holding."
Johnny thought for a moment, and then said, "And how old would you be if you let go?"
FIRST TIME USHERS:
A little boy in church for the first time watched as the ushers passed around the offering plates. When they came near his pew, the boy said loudly, "Don't pay for me, Daddy. I'm under five."
PRAYERS:
The Sunday School teacher asked, "Now, Johnny, tell me, do you say prayers before eating?"
"No, sir," he rplied. "We don't have to. My mom is a good cook!"
CLIMB THE WALLS:
"Oh, I sure am happy to see you," the little boy said to his grandmother on his mother's side. "Now maybe Daddy will do the trick he has been promising us."
The grandmother was curious. "What trick is that?" she asked.
"I heard him tell Mommy that he would climb the walls if you came to vist," the little boy answered.
THE MOOD RING:
My husband bought me a mood ring the other day. When I'm in a good mood, it turns green. When I'm in a bed mood, it leaves a red mark on his foehead.
THE WATER PISTOL:
When my three-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a water pistol. He squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink.
I was not so pleased. I turned to Mom and said, "I'm surprised at you. Don't you remember how we used to drive you crazy with water guns?"
Mom smiled and then replied, "I remember."
LIFE AFTER DEATH:
"Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees.
"Yes, sir," the new employee replied.
"Well, then, that makes everything just fine," the boss went on. "After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you!"
It was Palm Sunday and, because of a sore throat, five-year-old Johnny stayed home from church with a sitter. When the family returned home, they were carrying several palm brances. The boy asked what they were for.
"People held them over Jesus' head as he walked by,"
"Wouldn't you know it?" the boy fumed. "The one Sunday I don't go He shows up!"
CHILDREN'S SERMON:
One Easter Sunday morning as the minister was preaching the children's sermon, he reached into his bag of props and pulled out an egg. He pointed at the egg and asked the children, "What's in here?"
"I know!" a little boy exclaimed. "Pantyhose!"
SUPPORT A FAMILY:
The prospective father-in-law asked, "Young man, can you support a family?"
The surprised groom-to-be replied, "Well, no I was just planning to support your daughter. The rest of you will have to fend for yourselves."
GRANDMA'S AGE:
Little Johnny asked his grandma how old she was.
Grandma answered, "89 and holding."
Johnny thought for a moment, and then said, "And how old would you be if you let go?"
FIRST TIME USHERS:
A little boy in church for the first time watched as the ushers passed around the offering plates. When they came near his pew, the boy said loudly, "Don't pay for me, Daddy. I'm under five."
PRAYERS:
The Sunday School teacher asked, "Now, Johnny, tell me, do you say prayers before eating?"
"No, sir," he rplied. "We don't have to. My mom is a good cook!"
CLIMB THE WALLS:
"Oh, I sure am happy to see you," the little boy said to his grandmother on his mother's side. "Now maybe Daddy will do the trick he has been promising us."
The grandmother was curious. "What trick is that?" she asked.
"I heard him tell Mommy that he would climb the walls if you came to vist," the little boy answered.
THE MOOD RING:
My husband bought me a mood ring the other day. When I'm in a good mood, it turns green. When I'm in a bed mood, it leaves a red mark on his foehead.
THE WATER PISTOL:
When my three-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a water pistol. He squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink.
I was not so pleased. I turned to Mom and said, "I'm surprised at you. Don't you remember how we used to drive you crazy with water guns?"
Mom smiled and then replied, "I remember."
LIFE AFTER DEATH:
"Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees.
"Yes, sir," the new employee replied.
"Well, then, that makes everything just fine," the boss went on. "After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you!"
0
Comments
-
That's Funny!
Thanks for the jokes! I especially like that last one. hahahahaha.0 -
Thanks for the laughs!blazytracy said:That's Funny!
Thanks for the jokes! I especially like that last one. hahahahaha.
Thanks for the laughs!
KYLEZ0 -
LOL!DebbyM said:Funny Margo!
Debby
Funny Margo!
Debby
LOL!0 -
My favorite is the water pistol
I did the exact same thing with a miniature set of drums with exactly the same response. Amazing how it shut my son up. Your jokes are always so good and I love seeing them. They've picked me up on those days when it seemed nothing would and given me such laughs. I've passed them on to my family.
Take care. Lola0 -
Thanks for the laughlovelylola said:My favorite is the water pistol
I did the exact same thing with a miniature set of drums with exactly the same response. Amazing how it shut my son up. Your jokes are always so good and I love seeing them. They've picked me up on those days when it seemed nothing would and given me such laughs. I've passed them on to my family.
Take care. Lola
Thanks for the laugh today!
Angie0
Discussion Boards
- All Discussion Boards
- 6 CSN Information
- 6 Welcome to CSN
- 122.1K Cancer specific
- 2.8K Anal Cancer
- 448 Bladder Cancer
- 309 Bone Cancers
- 1.6K Brain Cancer
- 28.5K Breast Cancer
- 398 Childhood Cancers
- 27.9K Colorectal Cancer
- 4.6K Esophageal Cancer
- 1.2K Gynecological Cancers (other than ovarian and uterine)
- 13K Head and Neck Cancer
- 6.4K Kidney Cancer
- 673 Leukemia
- 795 Liver Cancer
- 4.1K Lung Cancer
- 5.1K Lymphoma (Hodgkin and Non-Hodgkin)
- 239 Multiple Myeloma
- 7.2K Ovarian Cancer
- 65 Pancreatic Cancer
- 490 Peritoneal Cancer
- 5.5K Prostate Cancer
- 1.2K Rare and Other Cancers
- 543 Sarcoma
- 738 Skin Cancer
- 658 Stomach Cancer
- 192 Testicular Cancer
- 1.5K Thyroid Cancer
- 5.9K Uterine/Endometrial Cancer
- 6.3K Lifestyle Discussion Boards