Just a fly by...

dmc_emmy

Question: Has anyone ever felt lonely, even in a crowd? Just wondering.

Feeling down, but don't know why. I'll post when I can.
Sending my love to you all.
dmc

outdoorgirl

Yeah,
sometimes when I'm depressed.Sorry that you are feeling blue,dmc. I hope that it doesn't last for long...

mlmjt1

Hi dmc
Yes, I have felt lonely in crowds before, but you know, I have never been a religious person but I have found when I was at my all time low back in June before I found this site I was having horrible anxiety attacks. I would be up in the middle of the night crying, not wanting to wake anyone, couldnt call anyone and was sooooo terrified. Thats when I looked to something bigger than myself to help me thru it...be it God, Jesus, Buddha, I am not sure, but I know I didnt do it myself. I made it thru some horrible nights and I learned that I was not alone, and I still feel that way. I am never alone so therefore find myself less lonely. Does that make any sense???

And you know dmc, we are all here for you whenever you need us.

Hugs to you my friend
Linda T

lynn1950

I'm an introvert, so
I'm an introvert, so loneliness in a crowd is not unfamiliar to me. You DO sound down, DC. What's going on? xoxoxoxo Lynn

TraciInLA

Oh my goodness, YES
I think it's very easy to feel lonely in a crowd -- and I've found it happens to me more often since my diagnosis.

I look around and start thinking, absolutely no one here knows what I'm going through, not one of these people understands what it feels like to be fighting my way through chemo, they're looking at my stubbly hair and thinking I belong to some strange religious cult or something....

I didn't say it was rational...:-)...but I've definitely felt that way when I'm in a crowd or group of strangers.

Fly by anytime, dmc.

Traci

Marlene_K

Most definitely!
There are times that I look at people with envy, when before my diagnosis, 'envy' didn't exist in my vocabulary! Now, no matter who they are... young, old, fat, skinny, challenged or otherwise, I look and think 'at least they don't have cancer'! Yea, it's a scary path we're on, but I think what gets me through it is that I truly believe there's a always a 'reason' and whatever that reason is, I can't change it, but I CAN control how I live from day to day. I don't want to live if living means I'm unhappy, dissatisfied or miserable. Allow yourself the down days and chalk it up to "everyone has them". Unfortunately, it seems that when we have that terrible beast, our down days are much more vulnerable than others that experience them. Whenever I feel lonely or down, I know that it's a moment (or even possibly a day) and it will pass. Tomorrow is a new day and I will feel better! For the most part, I think if you come here, you will never be alone!

elm3544

All the time. I'm sorry you
All the time. I'm sorry you are feeling this way and I hope it passes quickly.

Dawne.Hope

I too have found that I feel
I too have found that I feel alone in a crowd much more after my dx than I ever did before. I think part of it is we're dealing with our own mortality, maybe for the very first time. I think that puts us in a lonely place.

This time of year doesn't help either. It's getting dark earlier and the weather is gloomy. Hang in there dmc.

Akiss4me

Me too
Hi dmc...good to see you posting! I've been feeling down too. I think it has alot to do with all my set backs and just the fact that dealing with this for 6 months is wearing me down. I plan on asking my Onc for an antidepressant. I hope you are feeling better soon. I hope everyone that is feeling down can find relief from this emotion too. We can hang in there (even if it's by the skin of our teeth!) and make it through. Better days are ahead. One of my favorite sayings are "your either heading into a storm, in one, or just coming out of one". When you think about it...it's so true! Sending hugs and smiles! ♥Pammy

natly15

Akiss4me said:

Me too
Hi dmc...good to see you posting! I've been feeling down too. I think it has alot to do with all my set backs and just the fact that dealing with this for 6 months is wearing me down. I plan on asking my Onc for an antidepressant. I hope you are feeling better soon. I hope everyone that is feeling down can find relief from this emotion too. We can hang in there (even if it's by the skin of our teeth!) and make it through. Better days are ahead. One of my favorite sayings are "your either heading into a storm, in one, or just coming out of one". When you think about it...it's so true! Sending hugs and smiles! ♥Pammy

Stormy weather - I like that
Stormy weather - I like that analogy--Yes Life is full of storms, and this BC storm is by far one of the most difficult. I've been thru many, many storms in my life, but this one is soo different, but I do believe I'll somehow manage to get thru this one as well, taking advantage of every bit of help along my way. DMC if it takes an antidepressant to help, by all means ask for one if you have not already. I take an antidepressant, and I thank God such a thing is available to help me thru. Dont know where I'd be if I werent taking it.

Wolfi

TraciInLA said:

Oh my goodness, YES
I think it's very easy to feel lonely in a crowd -- and I've found it happens to me more often since my diagnosis.

I look around and start thinking, absolutely no one here knows what I'm going through, not one of these people understands what it feels like to be fighting my way through chemo, they're looking at my stubbly hair and thinking I belong to some strange religious cult or something....

I didn't say it was rational...:-)...but I've definitely felt that way when I'm in a crowd or group of strangers.

Fly by anytime, dmc.

Traci

Going through
Traci,

You said: "I look around and start thinking, absolutely no one here knows what I'm going through." - I've had this feeling a few times since being diagnosed.

I think my feeling lonely in a crowd mostly happens when I'm at work. Only a handful of people (eight) know that I have breast cancer and even less (three) know the extent of my treatments: bilateral and radiation.

Sometimes I feel like I have to hold in a secret but I just want to scream "If you only knew how feel or what I've gone through....." to some of my co-workers - the ones who whisper behind my back and ask other people why I'm not back to work full time yet. MYOB!

roseann4

natly15 said:

Stormy weather - I like that
Stormy weather - I like that analogy--Yes Life is full of storms, and this BC storm is by far one of the most difficult. I've been thru many, many storms in my life, but this one is soo different, but I do believe I'll somehow manage to get thru this one as well, taking advantage of every bit of help along my way. DMC if it takes an antidepressant to help, by all means ask for one if you have not already. I take an antidepressant, and I thank God such a thing is available to help me thru. Dont know where I'd be if I werent taking it.

This disease can be a lonely journey.
I think the reason we love this site is the very reason you feel lonely in crowds. I carry my diagnosis with me every day and most of what people worry about seems trivial to me. BC changed my outlook and unless a person has looked death in the eye, they can't understand. No matter what stage we are in, we did not know that when we got our diagnosis. We had days or weeks of not knowing what was next or whether we were on our way out.

If anyone is feeling constant sadness, dread, inability to get out of bed, inability to sleep, anxiety, etc. for more than 2 weeks, please tell your doctor. This disease is challenging enough without dealing with untreated depression.

I was treated when I went through menopause 9 years ago. The drugs that control estrogen cause the symptoms of menopause and one of those symptoms is depression. I was treated for 6 months and then was able to go off with no issues.

Roseann

JmG86

Stormy Weather
I understand how you feel sometimes, but then I think that you never know what someone else is going through. How many times people ask me how I'm feeling, because I "look great". Thankfully, I don't "look" like I have cancer, so no one would know just to look at me. I remember when my brother died of colon cancer, having to go to the store one day during the week of the wake and funeral. I couldn't believe looking around and thinking how could life just go on normally when I am in such pain? But as I said, you never know what other people are dealing with. And I think a lot of those people in that crowd also feel very alone.

I just got this saying recently from Cat64 on this site. I put it on my mirror in my bathroom, I just love it:

"You can't just sit around and wait for the storm to be over - you've got to learn how to dance in the rain."

And when it's storming, keep looking up - that's where God puts the rainbows!

creampuff91344

JmG86 said:

Stormy Weather
I understand how you feel sometimes, but then I think that you never know what someone else is going through. How many times people ask me how I'm feeling, because I "look great". Thankfully, I don't "look" like I have cancer, so no one would know just to look at me. I remember when my brother died of colon cancer, having to go to the store one day during the week of the wake and funeral. I couldn't believe looking around and thinking how could life just go on normally when I am in such pain? But as I said, you never know what other people are dealing with. And I think a lot of those people in that crowd also feel very alone.

I just got this saying recently from Cat64 on this site. I put it on my mirror in my bathroom, I just love it:

"You can't just sit around and wait for the storm to be over - you've got to learn how to dance in the rain."

And when it's storming, keep looking up - that's where God puts the rainbows!

dmc, I am so sorry you have
dmc, I am so sorry you are having problems, and that you feel down like this. Believe me, this is normal, and something that most bc survivors go through at one time or another during their treatment. I can remember going out of the house soon after I was diagnosed, and each person I passed I wanted to scream at them because they had no idea what I was going through. It was no fault of theirs that I was holding this inside me, but I felt like everyone had to know, and everyone had to acknowledge. That's silly, but would have made me feel like I wasn't the abnormal one here. It never dawned on me that they may be having difficulties of their own, and carried sorrow inside themselves. A friend sent me a placque that sits proudly on my vanity, and it reads, "Courage isn't always a loud roar. Courage sometimes is a quiet voice at the end of the day that says I will try again tomorrow." If you need help with your inner feelings, tell your onc and there is help, either in the form of counseling, or an antidepressant. Don't suffer in silence, as there are alternatives that many people turn to when they feel despair and pain. We are all part of a large group of people who understand what you are going through, and someone is always on this board to give a little bit of inspiration. I really hope that you seek help, and that you come to the boards as often as you need in order to seek solace from those of us who stand beside you. Let us know how things go, and know that there are thoughts and prayers coming your way. Hugs.

Judy

tasha_111

creampuff91344 said:

dmc, I am so sorry you have
dmc, I am so sorry you are having problems, and that you feel down like this. Believe me, this is normal, and something that most bc survivors go through at one time or another during their treatment. I can remember going out of the house soon after I was diagnosed, and each person I passed I wanted to scream at them because they had no idea what I was going through. It was no fault of theirs that I was holding this inside me, but I felt like everyone had to know, and everyone had to acknowledge. That's silly, but would have made me feel like I wasn't the abnormal one here. It never dawned on me that they may be having difficulties of their own, and carried sorrow inside themselves. A friend sent me a placque that sits proudly on my vanity, and it reads, "Courage isn't always a loud roar. Courage sometimes is a quiet voice at the end of the day that says I will try again tomorrow." If you need help with your inner feelings, tell your onc and there is help, either in the form of counseling, or an antidepressant. Don't suffer in silence, as there are alternatives that many people turn to when they feel despair and pain. We are all part of a large group of people who understand what you are going through, and someone is always on this board to give a little bit of inspiration. I really hope that you seek help, and that you come to the boards as often as you need in order to seek solace from those of us who stand beside you. Let us know how things go, and know that there are thoughts and prayers coming your way. Hugs.

Judy

Hiding in plain sight..............
I too hate crowds. I just am dying to tell you................I got a new dog! 9 months Dobermann, the shelter had called her 'Mandy'.....yuch,,,, anyway, I don't believe in changing an animals name, bad carma, so I shortened it and lengthened it to Emmy!
I have been thinking of you a lot. Now we have another PODS called Emmy.... I hope you don't mind, it was in honour of you.


Huge Hugs jxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

fauxma

tasha_111 said:

Hiding in plain sight..............
I too hate crowds. I just am dying to tell you................I got a new dog! 9 months Dobermann, the shelter had called her 'Mandy'.....yuch,,,, anyway, I don't believe in changing an animals name, bad carma, so I shortened it and lengthened it to Emmy!
I have been thinking of you a lot. Now we have another PODS called Emmy.... I hope you don't mind, it was in honour of you.


Huge Hugs jxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I hope she brings you joy
I hope she brings you joy and happiness Tasha. So you kept the m and the y and added EM to the front. I had forgotten about PODS and it took me a while to remember Pets of Daft Sods. Oh I am losing it and I didn't even have chemo. What does that say about me?
Stef

Marcia527

tasha_111 said:

Hiding in plain sight..............
I too hate crowds. I just am dying to tell you................I got a new dog! 9 months Dobermann, the shelter had called her 'Mandy'.....yuch,,,, anyway, I don't believe in changing an animals name, bad carma, so I shortened it and lengthened it to Emmy!
I have been thinking of you a lot. Now we have another PODS called Emmy.... I hope you don't mind, it was in honour of you.


Huge Hugs jxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Congratulations! Boy are you
Congratulations! Boy are you going to be busy! Don't forget us!

Marcia527

I don't feel lonely in a
I don't feel lonely in a crowd because I usually tune them out anyway. Don't like crowds. But it is lonely when you don't have anyone to listen to you. We are all here to listen so don't feel lonely.