My introduction
Comments
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Welcome!
KeriLee - This is definitely the place you want to be. I found this sight in August and I wish so much that I had known about it while I was going through my treatments. I completed my chemo in May and then went through Rads till July 2nd. I'm now on Tamoxifen, and am feeling much like you. You're right, everyone seems to think that now I'm finished with the treatment, I should just be able to go back to what was before all of this. I think that's impossible. It's like my oncologist told me, I will be living a new life, and that's what it is. I would love to be able to talk with you anytime and hopefully we can help each other, along with all of the other good advice that is passed out on this sight. Welcome and never be afraid to ask anything, because someone always has some suggestions and answers. Connie0 -
KeriLee
I'm only starting down the path you've already traveled, but I have seen many posts here about the "new normal". I don't think any of our lives will ever be the same, and it is difficult to deal with that feeling of being out of conrtrol of your destiny.
You will fing a lot of people who will understand exactly what you're going through here. I'm hoping it will give you a sense of peace to know you always have a place to turn when you need someone to talk to.
Take care,0 -
The old normal
KeriLee,
You won't ever fit into your "old normal" because it is gone. Now is the time to figure out what your new normal can be and think of the things in store for your future.
I think the emotional aspects of life changes (medical problems, relationship problems, deaths in the family) always take longer to deal with and work through than the physical problems themselves. You need to give yourself the ok to keep working through whatever it is that bothers you or makes you feel bad. Try to think of your life in a different way and do things that you've never tried before - you may find some new hobby or activity that you like.
You are a survivor! Keep posting here and talk about how you're feeling. Many of us have/are/will go through what you did and we are here to support you in your continued journey.
Don't worry about the fact that "everyone has expected everything to go back to normal". They aren't in your shoes and don't know what YOU are going through. Do what you need to in order to feel better about your life - counceling, starting a new hobby, a new exercise program, etc.
Take care and feel better - your new life is just beginning!0 -
Hello and welcome
I understand completely. In fact I have a couple threads here you might want to read. I have been going through the same emotions and from what they say, this is normal. In time we will get past this to rediscover our joy for life..it just takes some time, we have been through so much. I have also had other issues in my life and it has helped me to be here with these amazing sisters of ours. They have helped me through many rough times and will help you also. So glad you found us.
God Bless, Jackie0 -
Not "normal" anymore
Kerilee,
I haven't gotten to the reconstruction and mastectomy yet. I've only had a lumpetomy. Will have to take Tamoxifen, too. I just started to research different types of reconstruction and started to fall apart. Everything has been pretty "normal" until now. Now I have to face losing a big part of me that makes me a woman and wow is that hard. I am only 44, have not had rads or chemo (onchotype test hasn't come back yet) but I thought this was a breeze compared to all the women here and thought there was something wrong with me. Now I think I am beginning to understand some of the complexities of this disease. I now know that I will never be "normal" again and I have to learn how best to deal with that. Good luck and I'll keep you in my prayers. Let me know if you want to talk.
Helen0 -
Yup, new normal here, too....
Even had to go back to a golf pro because my 'special' arm was making my swing different....
Beyond the physical, there is an awakening to the fact that we truly DO live limited lives...and we need to make the best of each and every moment...
I'm over 3 years post treatment on breast and rectal cancer...and am living a TOTALLY different life that I did before...
Hugs and welcome, Kathi0 -
I totally feel that way. You
I totally feel that way. You are not alone. I finished my treatment in December 2007 and I am still not back to myself emotionally. I still worry about a recurrence, I haven't had a good night's sleep since the cancer, and I am intensely afraid of death.
I am not the relaxed, happy go lucky person I was. Life suddenly seems so short, and I think of death many times a day. I have seen a counselor a few times but it didn't really help. I am now taking an antidepressant and that is helping w/anxiety but it doesn't make me unafraid.
The passage of time does seem to help a little, but not a lot for me. You are right about people expecting things to go back to normal. Even the most supportive family and friends appear to grow tired of hearing about our "cancer survival issues".
I attend a breast cancer support group and that is helpful. Somehow it is comforting just being around others that have been there and know just how I am feeling. Even the nights that I just sit and listen are a help. My group is organized through the breast cancer coalition in my city. Check your town for a similar group.
I wish you peace and comfort. Please e-mail me on the site if you want to talk.0 -
What is "normal"?
What the heck is normal, anyway? Who defines it? Any significant event in your life makes you different in some way, and this sure is a significant event! I know I want everything to go back to "normal," too--but it can't possibly, and that is pretty upsetting. I had just gotten to a point where life was just going as I wanted it to go . . . now this!
The future can seem so bleak when someone has been derailed from a desired track the way we have--now there is a dark, foggy tunnel ahead instead of the vista one had previously envisioned. Where does it lead? Will there ever be sunshine again? Have I lost all control over my life?
It can be overwhelming. Hang in there, KeriLee--many people here have experienced very similar uncertainties and feelings of being overwhelmed by it all. Being a survivor means so much more than the physical.0 -
Hi Kerilee! As the othersLadyParvati said:What is "normal"?
What the heck is normal, anyway? Who defines it? Any significant event in your life makes you different in some way, and this sure is a significant event! I know I want everything to go back to "normal," too--but it can't possibly, and that is pretty upsetting. I had just gotten to a point where life was just going as I wanted it to go . . . now this!
The future can seem so bleak when someone has been derailed from a desired track the way we have--now there is a dark, foggy tunnel ahead instead of the vista one had previously envisioned. Where does it lead? Will there ever be sunshine again? Have I lost all control over my life?
It can be overwhelming. Hang in there, KeriLee--many people here have experienced very similar uncertainties and feelings of being overwhelmed by it all. Being a survivor means so much more than the physical.
Hi Kerilee! As the others said, after bc, we seem to have a new "normal". We will help you thru any troubles that you might be having as we all still need each other too. So, post anytime you want, as someone is always on here. We are open 24 hours a day!
Sue
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Welcome Kerilee! SorryLadyParvati said:What is "normal"?
What the heck is normal, anyway? Who defines it? Any significant event in your life makes you different in some way, and this sure is a significant event! I know I want everything to go back to "normal," too--but it can't possibly, and that is pretty upsetting. I had just gotten to a point where life was just going as I wanted it to go . . . now this!
The future can seem so bleak when someone has been derailed from a desired track the way we have--now there is a dark, foggy tunnel ahead instead of the vista one had previously envisioned. Where does it lead? Will there ever be sunshine again? Have I lost all control over my life?
It can be overwhelming. Hang in there, KeriLee--many people here have experienced very similar uncertainties and feelings of being overwhelmed by it all. Being a survivor means so much more than the physical.
Welcome Kerilee! Sorry that you are here, but, you will find so much support and encouragement here. Post and keep us updated on how you are doing.0 -
Just want to welcome youhelen e said:Not "normal" anymore
Kerilee,
I haven't gotten to the reconstruction and mastectomy yet. I've only had a lumpetomy. Will have to take Tamoxifen, too. I just started to research different types of reconstruction and started to fall apart. Everything has been pretty "normal" until now. Now I have to face losing a big part of me that makes me a woman and wow is that hard. I am only 44, have not had rads or chemo (onchotype test hasn't come back yet) but I thought this was a breeze compared to all the women here and thought there was something wrong with me. Now I think I am beginning to understand some of the complexities of this disease. I now know that I will never be "normal" again and I have to learn how best to deal with that. Good luck and I'll keep you in my prayers. Let me know if you want to talk.
Helen
Just want to welcome you Kerilee to the site!
HUGS0 -
Welcome to this wonderfulKylez said:Welcome Kerilee! Sorry
Welcome Kerilee! Sorry that you are here, but, you will find so much support and encouragement here. Post and keep us updated on how you are doing.
Welcome to this wonderful site that will help you in more ways than you can imagine. Post as much as you want as someone is always on to help.
Debby0 -
Hi KeriLee! I am sorry that
Hi KeriLee! I am sorry that you are having problems now emotionallly. That seems to go hand in hand with bc, no matter how long or how soon you got the diagnosis. I know that I don't fit in my old norm and I don't think I ever will. Bc changes you, changes your life. Some good, some bad. But, just choose to live it the best that you can!
Angie0 -
Welcome to our board
Welcome Keri, I most certainly understand there is no going back to the old normal I don't think it exist's for us survivors. I have found that the new normal is not so bad, just different. I agree only those who have walked in our shoes can understand that we are not the same even after all treatment is over. You are right many think that once treatment is over we are A-OKAY, well that's not the case. For me I am very aware of my body and anything different and I am always waiting for it to return. Now that does not mean I don't enjoy my life, I most certainly do I just have this in the back (not too far back either) mind. I am glad you found us, you can vent here, share here and rejoice here all without being judged.
Hugs,
RE0
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