Off Subject But.............

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tasha_111
tasha_111 Member Posts: 2,072
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
I just spoke to my Mum, My Dad has gone deaf. I'm real upset, he has always been a stalwart character in my life, Big Tall Dark and Handsome, now he is falling apart. Mum is really upset, she feels isolated (no conversation) she's trying to make the best of it but we really could get together and cry. Thanks for listening.........Jxxxxxxxx

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  • marilyndbk
    marilyndbk Member Posts: 238 Member
    #2
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    sending good thoughts to you
    sending good thoughts to you and your mum. I will say prayer for your family. It is a lot to handle. This breast cancer really takes a toll on body and mind. Take care. Marilyn
  • Marcia527
    Marcia527 Member Posts: 2,729
    #3
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    Are you saying a hearing aid
    Are you saying a hearing aid won't help? Maybe sign language lessons? Deaf people communicate also, just in a different way. I know it is a hard thing on top of every thing else but hang in there. Hugs.
  • fauxma
    fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member
    #4
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    Oh, Tasha, I am so sorry.
    Oh, Tasha, I am so sorry. If he totally deaf. Had he been losing his hearing? My guy has some hearing loss and that's difficult but not like losing all your hearing. Your mom's in England right. I wish you could be there for her. It's hard when we see the affects of aging on our parents. It's another situation where we want to fix it and we can't. Maybe, like someone said he could use an hearing aid or learn some simple sign language, or even use a note tablet to communicate. My heart is with you and your mom and dad. Dang it, sometimes life can really suck.
    Stef
  • rjjj
    rjjj Member Posts: 1,822 Member
    #5
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    Tash
    I'm really sorry about your Dad's hearing. Is there anyway you could mke a trip home to see him and your mom?
    hugs, jackie
  • chickad52
    chickad52 Member Posts: 497
    #6
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    TASHA
    Sorry to hear about your Dad,I'll keep him and your Mum in my prayers. Hugs, Diane
  • jennytwist
    jennytwist Member Posts: 896
    #7
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    So sorry
    Hi Tasha,
    Sorry about your Dad. Had he been ill? Did they know this was coming? Can hearing aids help? I'm sure there is support somewhere for your Mom ?? Can you visit with them at all? My youngest sister is deaf and although it's not easy - time will help.
    -take care
    Jenny
  • dmc_emmy
    dmc_emmy Member Posts: 549
    #8
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    jennytwist said:

    So sorry
    Hi Tasha,
    Sorry about your Dad. Had he been ill? Did they know this was coming? Can hearing aids help? I'm sure there is support somewhere for your Mom ?? Can you visit with them at all? My youngest sister is deaf and although it's not easy - time will help.
    -take care
    Jenny

    Tasha -there's so much more help than even a few years ago...
    Technology has come a long ways, even in recent years. Being deaf, such as mom hears nothing without her hearing aids, my husband is deaf and blind, and I am hard-of-hearing. Hearing aids are now digital and much more effective than the analog ones I had just 5 years ago. There are phone and/or computers that can be used similar to phones for the deaf and hard-of-hearing that also can be used by the hearing. There are many electronic devices that amplifies the television, flashes lights if someone is at the door,... There is also the hearing dog that can alert your dad to phone, door, etc.

    Are your folks also in Canada? If so, I don't know how the system works there, but here in the States there are agencies in every state that service the deaf and hard-of-hearing. Your father does not need to learn Sign to be productive, since he once had hearing and has a command of English. He has an advantage over those who were born deaf, but who still productive lives. My mother can use the cell phone (with hearing aids) and enjoy going out to dinner even in restaurant with significant background noise. She misses some conversation, but you mom will need to learn to speak slowly and clearly to your dad. Even if he doesn't hear all the words, most conversation is predictable and he will be surprised as to how much he can understand even without hearing all the words.

    I wish your folks well. It is a change in life-style, but it is doable.
    dmc
  • cats_toy
    cats_toy Member Posts: 1,462 Member
    #9
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    say what???
    Tasha, get him to go get hearing aids, as soon as he can! My boss started losing his hearing, and decided he was not going to be one of those people doing the "what did they say?" thing. He loves them, and they are now so small and comfortable, he sometimes forgets he has them in and goes in the shower with them.
    They arent' what they used to be and your dad, mom and you, will feel much better when he does.
    I miss our chats!
    =^..^=
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    #10
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    I am simply sending you big
    I am simply sending you big hugs, sweet Tash~ everyone has already said all of the good advice things! I do hope that this is something repairable for your dad, and that he and your mom avail themselves of every avenue there is to restore at least SOME of his hearing!

    Hugs,
    Chen♥
  • Akiss4me
    Akiss4me Member Posts: 2,188
    #11
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    In my prayers
    Tasha, I will be keeping you and your parents in my prayers! ♥Pammy
  • RE
    RE Member Posts: 4,591 Member
    #12
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    So very sorry!
    Tasha I am so sorry to hear of this! Is there anyway your parents can find help with the communication problem via perhaps learning sign language or is there any hope of the total hearing loss not being permanent...I mean could there be some sort of hearing aide or operation that could help. I will be sending prayers and postive thoughts your way.
    Hugs,

    RE
  • Wolfi
    Wolfi Member Posts: 425
    #13
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    Sorry
    I'm sorry to hear about your father. My father-in-law has been going deaf for many years and at this point the hearing aids don't even work for him anymore. About ten years ago he looked into cochlear implants but found out he was not a good candidate for them. Your father may have better luck. Here is a website I found about them:

    http://www.nidcd.nih.gov/health/hearing/coch.asp

    About eight years ago I spoke to my father-in-law about learning sign language and he wasn't interested in doing that. He does have a notebook now (like a small laptop) that he uses to communicate (e-mail) people when he needs to talk to them because he can't talk on the phone. This has helped a little.

    Please encourage your parents to talk to his doctor to find out what his options are - there are many devices out there now that are helpful to people with his condition.
  • outdoorgirl
    outdoorgirl Member Posts: 1,565
    #14
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    Tasha,
    so sorry about this.
    Even though we all know it's a fact of life,I know at least for me it's hard to see your parents getting older and hear about their health getting worse.I know that it's got to be very hard on your Mom and frustrating for your Dad. Hopefully you have been encouraged and can give this good advice to your parents.

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