Please help,your thoughts on this is needed please.please.

ppurdin Member Posts: 1,181
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
hi everyone,I am going to get to see my 5yr. old grandson this evening.Its been 2weeks since I have seen him.I am very happy to see him .The thing is I am now bald,and doing ok with it.Now should i keep my comfty hat on and try to exsplain to him that I don,t have hair anymore and this is how I am getting better.Or should i wear the wig that looks like my old hair did.I don,t know if i can wear the wig all evening or not.Its the first time i have worn it.what do you think I should do.I just don,t want to scare him and make him worry about me.thanks.(Pat).


  • cindycflynn
    cindycflynn Member Posts: 1,132 Member
    Just my opinion, but I'd go with the head scarf and explanation. Even thought he may not understand everything about your cancer, as long as you keep it in simple terms like those you used in your example, I think it's better than trying to just brush it off or hide it. Just keep it positive with him and emphasize that your getting better every day. One day he may look back on that as an example of how to face things bravely.

    Good luck!

  • outdoorgirl
    outdoorgirl Member Posts: 1,565
    My husband and I went to visit friends while I was going through chemo. I told her that I had lost my hair and asked how her 3 little ones would feel if I didn't put a hat on-was bald.She said that she thought it would be alright. I brought a couple of hats anyways,started off by wearing them and then felt comfortable enough to take it off.Her youngest girl stuck to me like glue and wanted a hat like mine to put on and take off. Her middle son was surprised when he first saw my bald head,but then just asked me what happened to my hair and I told him that I had been very sick and that it fell out because of the meds that I had been given.He just said okay,and that was that.
    That was my experience,I hope that yours goes just as well if not better!
  • MAJW
    MAJW Member Posts: 2,510 Member
    To wig or not to wig.....
    Pat, I have 4 grands, 11,10,6 and 1........The older two we were honest with them...and with our grandson who is 6.....BUT........what we told them about me being bald was that it was THE MEDICINE I had to take to make me "all better" that caused my hair to fall out, and not the cancer.......that satisfied all of them. As a matter of fact the 6 year old grandson's exact words when he saw my bald head were "WOW, that is sooooooo cool!" The girls enjoy trying on my wig......It's a personal decision of what to tell and how much, but I think kids are much more perceptive than we give them credit for, they can sense something is wrong. We decided to be up front with the kids because they had "heard" their parents whispers and we didn't want them to think something was wrong with Mommy or Daddy or we were honest with them.......
    I wish you the best in making your decision
  • contrail
    contrail Member Posts: 129
    Covered or Not
    When I lost my hair with chemo, I had a really hard time baring my head. I wouldn't even let my husband see me without a scarf or hat for the longest time. He kept telling me that it didn't bother him, but it was my own insecurities. I have three grandsons that range from age 5-8 and I wore something on my head whenever I was around them. Finally after my hair started growing back toward the end of my radiation treatments, I decided enough was enough. It was summer, and I hated my hats and wigs, so I just bared the head and said everyone will just have to like it. Well, guess what, they hardly noticed. I got a few questions from the grands, and everyone else told me I should wear what little hair I have with pride, and I have. All the problems I had with my baldness were in my own head. I think a simple explanation to your grandson is all that will be needed. Children are usually very accepting. Good luck. Connie
  • mlmjt1
    mlmjt1 Member Posts: 537
    Hi Pat
    You know what I think??? I would be comfortable especially with family. Thats pretty much how I play it. When I am with family I do what I want to which includes being hatless, scarfless and wigless. I am bald and I am being TREATED for cancer but I dont consider myself sick. I dont accept that. NOw, the chemo can make you feel yucky but I dont label myself as a sick person.

    As far as the little guy goes, if you are upbeat and tell him the truth and you dont make a big deal about it I think he will be fine. Just tell him that the medicine the doctor is giving you makes you have a new hairstyle. Sometimes the scarves are comfortable, sometimes the wig is comfortable and sometime bald is comfortable and you like all 3 and he should too!!!

    Hang in there and be what you can live with consistently. I think kids need that

    Linda T
  • Sam726
    Sam726 Member Posts: 233
    hi ppurdin
    Hi....I understand your concerns. I think you should go with honesty...i had my sons friends ask me where my hair was. I told them it fell out because the medicine im taking caused it to happen. They had some questions but really understood. Kids are so great...they tell it like they see it and arent afraid to ask questions! Good luck..
  • ppurdin
    ppurdin Member Posts: 1,181
    Thanks everyone.
    You gave me some great advice.My little guy just went home after a fun evening with Mamaw and Papaw.I chose to wear my hat.He didn,t say anything at first.Then after awhile he ask why I had a hat on.I told him that I had taken medicine to make me better and it made my hair come out.He said Oh Mammaw do you not have hair you mean you are bald.And I said yes and he kissed my head.Then he said does momey know and i said yes.A little later he wanted to see my head,I raised my hat and he seen my head a little.It brought tears to my eyes.He is my boy.he never mentioned it again.It is never easy telling someone you love,exspecially when their so little.Thanks again.(Pat).