hair loss

ppurdin
ppurdin Member Posts: 1,181
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Hi,please forgive me everyone but I am still having such a hard time over lossing my hair.12days since chemo and its comming out more now.I have cryed all day,and tell myself it is silly but keep crying.I read on these boards how brave alott of you have been and want to deal with it that way also.I have handle most of the rest ok.Please any words of wisdom.I know this is part of getting better.(Lossing my hair).(Pat).

Comments

  • Q088suzie
    Q088suzie Member Posts: 27
    Hang in there Pat
    Hi Pat...I am sorry for what you are going thru...I just got my wig today...my hair started falling out 3 days ago and progressively got worse, so I went in and did it. I had already picked out my wig and pre-arranged my head shaving. I dreaded it, but I look at it this way..this is only temporary. I have three children and each pregnancy lasted 9 months...I was not fond of being pregnant. I am telling myself that this will last a lot less than 9 months (hopefully) and I made it thru 27 months of pregnancy!! HaHa...we have to laugh. It sure helps!!

    Surround yourself with only those you are close with and supportive of you at first. You will find that it will be easier as time goes on. We will make the journey together!!

    Suzie
  • mickeymom
    mickeymom Member Posts: 117
    It's not silly at all!
    I think other than the days right after my diagnosis, the week that my hair fell out were some of the darkest days I've had. I'm always so impressed with all the people who have parties and such to shave their heads. They seemed so brave and all I could do was cry. I was dead set against shaving my head and thought I could tough it out until it fell out. It started two days after my second chemo and I put up with it by using a lint roller everywhere I went. The shower was the worst. I was constantly in tears. I started wearing a scarf in public to keep it off everything.

    Finally I woke up early two days before my next chemo treatment and I just knew that chemo and my hair would be more than I could bear. It was only 6 AM but I woke up my husband and we cut the rest off. We used clippers with an attachment so we left it about an inch long. Only a bit more fell out after that and it's been the same since. I cried the whole time but I can tell you - there was such a relief! I hated the way I looked, but I was so glad that the hair issue was over. It was like I could look foward again.

    We all know that it's going to happen but when it actually starts happening it is not an easy thing to deal with. In fact it's pretty darn hard and you're doing really great to be getting through everything you're dealing with right now. So don't be hard on yourself for crying - cry. You deserve to. Just do what you know will make you comfortable. You are being brave just the way you are!!! I'll keep you in my prayers. Debbie
  • Cat64
    Cat64 Member Posts: 1,192
    Hi Pat
    I'm sorry to hear you are having such a rough time with your hair loss. I don't think it is silly to grieve the loss of your hair. There may have been some "brave" women here, but I'm sure they probably had their moments of tears too. It's got to be pretty devistating seeing yourself bald or even going bald! I have not begun Chemo or had the experience of watching what's left of my hair falling out yet(I had it chopped off)so I won't pretend to know what you are feeling. Yes,it is a part of you getting better & it WILL grow back! Keep in mind-it's only TEMPORARY. I just remind myself that if these things are a part of what it's going to take to get rid of the cancer, then it is a VERY small price to pay compared to having it spread or losing my life. I am very thankful that there are wigs, scarves, hats, etc... that we can wear to make the loss more tolerable.
    Prayers & Hugz,
    Cathy
  • Dawne.Hope
    Dawne.Hope Member Posts: 823
    No apologies!!!!
    Dear Pat,

    I don't know what it's like to lose my hair, but I've been with my mom both times when hers started coming out b/c of the chemo. When it first started to hurt, mom immediately called her stylist and her stylist came and buzzed it all off. I think it is easier to get it buzzed then see it falling out every day.

    Both times, hers came back and it was beautiful!

    As women, our hair tends to be very important to us. Your tears are normal.

    I'm so sorry this is happening to you. You're going to get through this too.

    blessings,
    dh
  • mlmjt1
    mlmjt1 Member Posts: 537
    HI Pat
    I cried too when my hair fell out. That whole week was a horrible one for me but I just had to shave it off. For me shaving my head and looking in the mirror was kind of making me really accept the fact that I was being treated for cancer. Before that, in spite of the double mastectomy, I could sort of deny the diagnosis. I think that what made it hard for me.

    On the plus side, and there truly is a plus side, I dont have to flat iron my hair anymore. It takes me less time to get ready in the morning. On the down side, I live in Wisconsin. I have 1 more chemo treatment left, but I dont expect to have hair to amount to much until spring...which means...Wisconsin winters with a bald head and I do home health care 5 days per week. My heads already cold and its October

    Hang in there

    Linda T
  • ppurdin
    ppurdin Member Posts: 1,181
    hair loss
    Thanks everyone.I so appriatte your kindness,I love you all.I will remember these replys.Only temerary.I like that.God bless.(Pat).
  • missgogo
    missgogo Member Posts: 58
    ppurdin said:

    hair loss
    Thanks everyone.I so appriatte your kindness,I love you all.I will remember these replys.Only temerary.I like that.God bless.(Pat).

    Hair Loss
    Hair loss. I lost my hair around Christmas of last 2008 after my first Chemo treatment It was really tough on my Mom I ask her to shave it cause my scalp was hurting to touch. Mine starting to come back in July
    I wore a sock cap until June cause my head was cold. Just hang in there. There are some nice people here.
  • durallkst
    durallkst Member Posts: 8
    Hair Loss
    Yes, it is very emotional. More than anyone can tell you. But hang in there!
    In this second session of chemo I was not expecting my hair to come in until after Thanksgiving,...but I have head fuss already. I will keep you in my prayers. You will make it through this next couple of weeks. Baby flannel pillow case helps at night if you head feel sore. This part is very personal! I hope you family is supportive. Makeup is paramont during this time and during additional hair loss. The makeup will make you feel better in public. Who would have ever given hair so much credit. Keep your chin up! YOU WILL CONQUER!!!
    DURALLKST
  • Sam726
    Sam726 Member Posts: 233
    durallkst said:

    Hair Loss
    Yes, it is very emotional. More than anyone can tell you. But hang in there!
    In this second session of chemo I was not expecting my hair to come in until after Thanksgiving,...but I have head fuss already. I will keep you in my prayers. You will make it through this next couple of weeks. Baby flannel pillow case helps at night if you head feel sore. This part is very personal! I hope you family is supportive. Makeup is paramont during this time and during additional hair loss. The makeup will make you feel better in public. Who would have ever given hair so much credit. Keep your chin up! YOU WILL CONQUER!!!
    DURALLKST

    hey
    Hey girl...shaved my head last week, best thing I did. Started falling out 14 days after first treatment. Dont watch your hair fall out..you can do it!! I know you are a strong woman...it will grow back. this is only temporary!
  • laurissa
    laurissa Member Posts: 773
    Hi Pat,
    I'm also an emotional mess about losing my hair and about this cancer. For one thing, I have a weird shaped head. We'll get thru it somehow. I'm also worried about getting sick with the bad flu season coming. It will get better.
  • meena1
    meena1 Member Posts: 1,003
    laurissa said:

    Hi Pat,
    I'm also an emotional mess about losing my hair and about this cancer. For one thing, I have a weird shaped head. We'll get thru it somehow. I'm also worried about getting sick with the bad flu season coming. It will get better.

    Losing my hair was
    Losing my hair was depressing and sad. I kept my head covered at all times. If you are concerned about the flu, ask your oncologist about getting a flu shot. I got one while I was on chemo. I did not have any problems. And you are right, it will get better. I have been through everything that you ladies are going through. Your life is changed, you will see things differently, but you will get through this.
  • Akiss4me
    Akiss4me Member Posts: 2,188
    Hey Pat
    So sorry to hear that you are still struggling over this issue. I did not have chemo, but before I knew my treatment plan, I obsessed over what it would be like when I lost my hair. The feelings are hard to deal with. I believe that all of us are stronger than we relize and when we look back, we smile for where we are standing at this moment, because that means we made it through all the stuff we thought we wouldn't!! Hang in there. Find a favorite hat or scarf and practice batting those gorgous eyes!! Pammy
  • aztec45
    aztec45 Member Posts: 757
    No Appolgies Needed
    No need to appologize. I had long thick curly hair. I was born with hair on my head. And, I consider myself a pretty tough chick but when my hair started falling out in clumps, I cried like a baby and mourned my hair loss for a week. Taking a shower was the worst. It kept falling out, falling out in clumps stopping up the tub. I think in all the the things we experience with cancer - losing my hair was the worst for me. So don't appologize for how you are feeling.

    You know, my mom knew I was hurting. You know what she did? She held my small bald head in her hands, gently kissed my cheek and said that she would always love her little bald eagle. That was what I needed. I put my little caps on that I had bought through the cancer society and soared out into the world.

    Mourn your hair but pull up your boot straps and go on. You can do it.

    P
  • MyTurnNow
    MyTurnNow Member Posts: 2,686 Member
    This was the hardest part
    This was the hardest part for me too. I thought before my hair was coming out in clumps that I could handle it. I had my hairdresser buzz my head on a Friday and I cried like a baby the entire time. I immediately threw on a bucket hat and went home. I then got a good look in the mirror and cried some more. My family, husband and daughter, continue to tell me I have great facial bone structure and really look just fine without hair. Not sure about that one but I'm used to it now. I can tell you that you will enjoy the timesavings once you no longer have to blow dry and style your hair. It has dropped off a good 15 minutes of my daily routine. Best of luck, Pat, but let yourself get it out and cry!! This too is only natural!!
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    This doesn't take wisdom or
    This doesn't take wisdom or bravery or anything... I also had such a hard time dealing with the hair loss. It was the outward, visible sign not just to ME but to the universe that I was a chemo-patient. I knew I had done nothing wrong, in fact I knew I was doing everything right to do battle with and kill the Beast, but this was such a blow to my ego, psyche, self-esteem and femininity. It didn't matter at all that probably no one cared that I was wearing bandanas and hats, and yet I felt both like a walking billboard advertising cancer and invisible at the same time. Which makes no sense at all. Which is just the point...the reaction to losing our hair doesn't have to make sense! It is what it is!

    You already know you have committed no crime, you know you are Killing The Beast, you know you have a loving support group, both tangible and in the cyber world, you may even have the perfect shaped head, and one that Demi Moore and Sinead O'Connor would envy!

    I foolishly thought that if I treated my hair gently, it maybe wouldn't come out, that it would just get thin. But this is an internal reaction to the chemotherapy, not external. I had to shave my head when it was coming out by the handful in the shower and then all over the food ( YECCCH!) I was preparing in the kitchen, and when my scalp started aching as if I had a too tight pony tail in for too many hours. Shaving my head was difficult, and yet it felt better immediately~ and it wasn't all over the house, bathroom, pillows.

    It doesn't help now to tell you that it will grow back, and that sooner than you think you will be spending OCD-like hours rubbing your head feeling the new growth and rejoicing at that miracle of life!!! You will be regaling us with the length, texture, curls, color, etc of the regrown hair! But remember these words; they will be with you soon enough, and you will be on the gviing end of encouraging someone else who follows you in here.

    Hugs,
    Chen♥
  • tasha_111
    tasha_111 Member Posts: 2,072
    chenheart said:

    This doesn't take wisdom or
    This doesn't take wisdom or bravery or anything... I also had such a hard time dealing with the hair loss. It was the outward, visible sign not just to ME but to the universe that I was a chemo-patient. I knew I had done nothing wrong, in fact I knew I was doing everything right to do battle with and kill the Beast, but this was such a blow to my ego, psyche, self-esteem and femininity. It didn't matter at all that probably no one cared that I was wearing bandanas and hats, and yet I felt both like a walking billboard advertising cancer and invisible at the same time. Which makes no sense at all. Which is just the point...the reaction to losing our hair doesn't have to make sense! It is what it is!

    You already know you have committed no crime, you know you are Killing The Beast, you know you have a loving support group, both tangible and in the cyber world, you may even have the perfect shaped head, and one that Demi Moore and Sinead O'Connor would envy!

    I foolishly thought that if I treated my hair gently, it maybe wouldn't come out, that it would just get thin. But this is an internal reaction to the chemotherapy, not external. I had to shave my head when it was coming out by the handful in the shower and then all over the food ( YECCCH!) I was preparing in the kitchen, and when my scalp started aching as if I had a too tight pony tail in for too many hours. Shaving my head was difficult, and yet it felt better immediately~ and it wasn't all over the house, bathroom, pillows.

    It doesn't help now to tell you that it will grow back, and that sooner than you think you will be spending OCD-like hours rubbing your head feeling the new growth and rejoicing at that miracle of life!!! You will be regaling us with the length, texture, curls, color, etc of the regrown hair! But remember these words; they will be with you soon enough, and you will be on the gviing end of encouraging someone else who follows you in here.

    Hugs,
    Chen♥

    Hair Loss
    Claudia.........Most beautifully put, as usual. To me the impending hair loss was worse than the initial cancer diagnosis. I was mortified by what was going to happen to me and how I would appear to others (Not easy in a foreign country).. But I now look normal (ish), nobody would guess that this is not a short-hair statement (well, actually, it isn't that short now) All you ladies that are about to 'Shed'...please remember, It comes back very fast and mostly better!~ Mine is lovely now, (it wasn't before chemo, it was fried LOL) Hugs to all you brave soldiers... Jxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • ppurdin
    ppurdin Member Posts: 1,181
    hair loss.
    Thanks everyone for your words of wisdom.I order,d some better hats that I think I will wear,That made me feel better.And I keep thinking it is temporary.And it is not anything that I can help.I am getting some loose hairs so it won,t be long.In some ways it needs to happen and get me out of my misery.Watching for it to fall out is very frightning.I have to get to it comming out alot to being able to shave it.Then I think I can maybe do it.Just keep praying for me please.I am usually pretty tuff,but this has been the tuffest of all.I don,t know what I would do without you wonderful people.God bless,(Pat).
  • cindycflynn
    cindycflynn Member Posts: 1,132 Member
    ppurdin said:

    hair loss.
    Thanks everyone for your words of wisdom.I order,d some better hats that I think I will wear,That made me feel better.And I keep thinking it is temporary.And it is not anything that I can help.I am getting some loose hairs so it won,t be long.In some ways it needs to happen and get me out of my misery.Watching for it to fall out is very frightning.I have to get to it comming out alot to being able to shave it.Then I think I can maybe do it.Just keep praying for me please.I am usually pretty tuff,but this has been the tuffest of all.I don,t know what I would do without you wonderful people.God bless,(Pat).

    So sorry to hear that you're sad
    I will pray for you to find peace with your new appearance and eventually to even find joy and power in starting something new. It could be an opportunity to try a new look, to try different styles when your hair begins to come back in.

    I'm getting my hair cut really short just before my surgery (it's just past my shoulders now) so that I don't have to mess with it while I'm recovering, and so that it will hopefully be less of a shock when/if it does start to fall out.

    Stay strong!
  • lolad
    lolad Member Posts: 670
    Pat
    I can tell you that before i even started to loose my hair, i cried all the time because i knew it was coming. And then when it did start i cried some more and more. I certainly wasnt brave in the beginning when it all started. It started falling all over the place and thats when i shaved it. If it werent for my kids telling me that i was still beautiful, i probably would still be crying and ive been bald for a while now. Just know that its only temporary, there is nothing you can do about it. Get some cool hats and scarves. Believe it or not, being bald is how ive met quite a few other bc survivors when ive been out. So, thats a cool thing about it. The other day i met a woman who her, her mother and three sisters all have battled bc, i was amazed at her strength and beauty. So, raise that head up and try to dry those tears. It will come back again. Stay strong, i know its hard.
    take care
    laura