Church bulletin bloopers

Wolfi
Wolfi Member Posts: 425
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Love those Church Ladies.. They're Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for church ladies with typewriters.These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:
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The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
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The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'
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Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
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Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.
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Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
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Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
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For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice
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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. Is done.
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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM.. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
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The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours'.

Comments

  • Akiss4me
    Akiss4me Member Posts: 2,188
    #2
    Theses are too funny!
    Gotta love the bloopers! ♥Pammy
  • Cat64
    Cat64 Member Posts: 1,192
    #3
    Wolfi
    Hilarious! Thanks for sharing, I needed that! :-) Goes to show ya-noone is indeed "purrfect"!
    Hugz,
    Cat
  • lovelylola
    lovelylola Member Posts: 279
    #4
    Laughing on the inside
    or at least trying to so I don't wake the household. These are great. Everyone in the house is asleep and all I want to do is have a belly laugh!! Thanks! Lola
  • laurissa
    laurissa Member Posts: 773
    #5
    So funny
    These were great, made me laugh at each one. Where did you find these?
  • MyTurnNow
    MyTurnNow Member Posts: 2,686 Member
    #6
    LOL
    These are belly busters. Thanks for the huge laugh!!
  • Wolfi
    Wolfi Member Posts: 425
    #7
    laurissa said:

    So funny
    These were great, made me laugh at each one. Where did you find these?

    My huband got them in an
    My huband got them in an e-mail from one of his friends. I thought you guys might like them.
  • cheyennedawn
    cheyennedawn Member Posts: 70
    #8
    These were so funny! I had
    These were so funny! I had to share them with the girls I work with! Thanks Wolfi for the big, much needed laugh!

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