Is this normal...should I do anything?

onlyhuman
onlyhuman Member Posts: 99
edited March 2014 in Caregivers #1
Hubby was diagnosed with GBM (stage IV) in Mar 09. He had a rough April and was back in hospital in May to fix up a tear in his stitches from the first op that had not healed. Since then he has been steadily getting better. He has a possible regrowth but it apparently is not growing at all at the moment. He has returned to work part time and aside from a few complaints seems to be doing much better and improving week to week. However, last few days he has been putting together some things to give to people. He has packed a couple of jackets and some shirts for me to send to his brother because he feels his brother wont take and use these things if given to him after his death. He has also given a few things to my dad. Although he faces a serious brain tumour, there is nothing to indicate imminent death. Hubby has been positive so I don't know what to make of his actions this week. Any suggestions?

Comments

  • grandmafay
    grandmafay Member Posts: 1,633 Member
    #2
    Early
    Early on my husband started talking about disposing of one of his collections. I mean while he was still in the hospital following his first surgery. I walked into the room and heard him discussing this with a friend. It really threw me. Then I realized that this wasn't about me. It was something he wanted to think about. I think cancer makes us all realize that we are mortal. It's scary. We don't have control over the cancer, so we think about the things we can control. My husband and I later discussed how I felt when I heard him talking about giving things away. It hadn't occurred to him that I would be upset by this. Well, duh! I think sometimes guys just think differently about things. I don't know if this helps, but I wanted you to know that I also experienced the giving. Fay
  • sue Siwek
    sue Siwek Member Posts: 279
    #3
    my husband early on refused
    my husband early on refused to have anything new to wear even though he needed things, finally after a few years he went shopping with me and bought some beautiful sweaters and shirts and i realized then that he knew he would be around for awhile. i think, no i know that when a life threatening illness is thrust upon you your focus is the fight and tightening up lose ends. that is the only good thing about this. our 4 grown children never fail to hug and kiss their father and he in return. often men don't tell other men they love them but mine do now. we as a family have gain something good from something so threatening. another thought that i believe is true, he is grieving, he needs to do this just as you need to believe that he can win this battle.

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