brother has renal cell cancer given 2 years

topaz64
topaz64 Member Posts: 4
edited March 2014 in Emotional Support #1
My brother was diagnosed with renal cell cancer he has a mass on his right kidney it has spread to his chest bone,hip and spine and they give him only two years. they are going to start chemo. Does he have any hope? My heart says no when i saw him amonth ago he was so thin and weak my heart just aches. My poor mother feels hopeless. I could use some words of incouragement.

Comments

  • sue Siwek
    sue Siwek Member Posts: 279
    #2
    all i will say is are you
    all i will say is are you going to a top hospital? most states have a wonderful hospital associated with colleges and either have or are linked to researchers, this is your best chance for survival because they have the latest protocols. google for top hospitals in your state and see what you come up with. also, he may only have so much time left but then again maybe the drs. are wrong. feeling hopeless is not an option at this time. he needs someone to go to bat for him, help him by researching the best place for treatment for his condition you may extend his life long enough for a better treatment to come along. i would also consider a clinical trial if there is no approved treatment that will help him because it could extend his life. find a good hospital and they will have trials that he may qualify for if needed. good luck and get going time is wasting.
  • grandmafay
    grandmafay Member Posts: 1,633 Member
    #3
    Always Hope
    I always tell people if the doctor gives someone a time limit, find another doctor.There is always hope. Miracles happen everyday. Suggest that your mother and brother ask for a second or even a third opinion. Hang in there. If you have a faith turn to it. There are many stories on these boards of people who have lived longer than expected. If his time really is short, find ways to help your brother and family make memories and take advantage of that time. Fay
  • onlyhuman
    onlyhuman Member Posts: 99
    #4
    no one deserves to be treated like a statistic
    Hi Topaz
    I agree with Grandmafay. Do not lose hope. All the doctors can provide is a prognosis based on statistical studies. I am sure you dont think of your brother as ordinary, he is after all your brother so why then should he fit the norm. 7 years ago my husband was told he would be lucky to live 5 but we scoffed that off and he lived 7 with no recurrence. 6 months ago he was told he has GBM and would have between 1 day to 2 years (he also has heart complications). He was told that in all likelihood he would not be able to return to work. At that time I could not fathm how he would recover enough to go back to work as the operation really knocked him around. He returned to work last month (2 days a week) and this week increased it to 3 days. I call myself my husband's number one fan / supporter. I am there to give him the support he needs to stay hopeful. He can be as grumpy as he wants so long as he remains hopeful. We are all scared, sad and even frightened when we initially hear a poor prognosis but then somehow we all find the courage in spirit to pick ourselves up and be the support our loved one needs. You too I am sure will soon be able to do that. Take care.
  • topaz64
    topaz64 Member Posts: 4
    #5
    onlyhuman said:

    no one deserves to be treated like a statistic
    Hi Topaz
    I agree with Grandmafay. Do not lose hope. All the doctors can provide is a prognosis based on statistical studies. I am sure you dont think of your brother as ordinary, he is after all your brother so why then should he fit the norm. 7 years ago my husband was told he would be lucky to live 5 but we scoffed that off and he lived 7 with no recurrence. 6 months ago he was told he has GBM and would have between 1 day to 2 years (he also has heart complications). He was told that in all likelihood he would not be able to return to work. At that time I could not fathm how he would recover enough to go back to work as the operation really knocked him around. He returned to work last month (2 days a week) and this week increased it to 3 days. I call myself my husband's number one fan / supporter. I am there to give him the support he needs to stay hopeful. He can be as grumpy as he wants so long as he remains hopeful. We are all scared, sad and even frightened when we initially hear a poor prognosis but then somehow we all find the courage in spirit to pick ourselves up and be the support our loved one needs. You too I am sure will soon be able to do that. Take care.

    hi onlyhuman
    thanks for your
    hi onlyhuman
    thanks for your caring words. I am trying very hard to stay strong. I talked to my brother the other day and he said he is going to fight and that pleased me. He is struggling financially which makes it harder and his girlfriend is fighting luekimia. It's amazing that he can even have the will to live but he does. So if he can i can. One day at a time.
  • KCKitty
    KCKitty Member Posts: 11
    #6
    Hello, I'm sorry to hear about your brother. My Sister had renal Cell cancer and had her Kidney removed. My Sisters cancer was contained at the time. I went out to Wisconsin to care for her and her family. My Sister and I have shared a difficult relationship over the years, but our time together brought us closer. Use the time you have today and spend it with your brother and family. Is it possible to have a celebration of some sort. I had Thanksgiving in July for my Sister. I decorated the house with Pumkins and Turkeys ect. and had a big family dinner. I know this seems small under your circumstances but it helped all of us I think. A tropical theme is always fun, and I bet your brother would love it. Christmas is coming, You could have an ugly Christmas Sweater Party with prizes for the ugliest sweater. Sometimes laughter is the best medicine. Good Luck and God Bless
  • topaz64
    topaz64 Member Posts: 4
    #7
    KCKitty said:

    Hello, I'm sorry to hear about your brother. My Sister had renal Cell cancer and had her Kidney removed. My Sisters cancer was contained at the time. I went out to Wisconsin to care for her and her family. My Sister and I have shared a difficult relationship over the years, but our time together brought us closer. Use the time you have today and spend it with your brother and family. Is it possible to have a celebration of some sort. I had Thanksgiving in July for my Sister. I decorated the house with Pumkins and Turkeys ect. and had a big family dinner. I know this seems small under your circumstances but it helped all of us I think. A tropical theme is always fun, and I bet your brother would love it. Christmas is coming, You could have an ugly Christmas Sweater Party with prizes for the ugliest sweater. Sometimes laughter is the best medicine. Good Luck and God Bless

    hello KCKitty;
    thanks what a
    hello KCKitty;
    thanks what a wonderful idea. I will pray for you and your sister. If you don't mind me asking howlong has your sister had renal cell?
  • SonSon
    SonSon Member Posts: 174
    #8
    KCKitty said:

    Hello, I'm sorry to hear about your brother. My Sister had renal Cell cancer and had her Kidney removed. My Sisters cancer was contained at the time. I went out to Wisconsin to care for her and her family. My Sister and I have shared a difficult relationship over the years, but our time together brought us closer. Use the time you have today and spend it with your brother and family. Is it possible to have a celebration of some sort. I had Thanksgiving in July for my Sister. I decorated the house with Pumkins and Turkeys ect. and had a big family dinner. I know this seems small under your circumstances but it helped all of us I think. A tropical theme is always fun, and I bet your brother would love it. Christmas is coming, You could have an ugly Christmas Sweater Party with prizes for the ugliest sweater. Sometimes laughter is the best medicine. Good Luck and God Bless

    Ugly Sweater Contest
    I like your ugly sweater contest...mix that with a "white elephant" gift exchange and it would be a fine party.
    White elephant gift exchange is where each person brings an item from their home - often the wedding, birthday, christmas (etc) gift that just did not get used - they wrap it up for exchange. Often people make a game out of it where one person picks a package from the table then the next person can either steal that gift or pick another one...
    Fatima
  • KCKitty
    KCKitty Member Posts: 11
    #9
    topaz64 said:

    hello KCKitty;
    thanks what a
    hello KCKitty;
    thanks what a wonderful idea. I will pray for you and your sister. If you don't mind me asking howlong has your sister had renal cell?

    My sister was diagnosed 3 years ago. Her Husband is a Dr. and she was complaining of a stomach ache, because he worked at the hospital they gave her an scan and what a surprise she had her Kidney removed 2 days later. She has had health issues following the surgery, but so far no cancer has returned.
  • topaz64
    topaz64 Member Posts: 4
    #10
    KCKitty said:

    My sister was diagnosed 3 years ago. Her Husband is a Dr. and she was complaining of a stomach ache, because he worked at the hospital they gave her an scan and what a surprise she had her Kidney removed 2 days later. She has had health issues following the surgery, but so far no cancer has returned.

    brother's cancer
    kckitty:
    my brother isn't doing well very sick from the moraphine and the radiation doesn't look good he is down to 130lbs. we are very worried i want to be positive but it doesn't look like he will last 2 years. my heart just aches, i wish there was more i could do.
  • grandmafay
    grandmafay Member Posts: 1,633 Member
    #11
    topaz64 said:

    brother's cancer
    kckitty:
    my brother isn't doing well very sick from the moraphine and the radiation doesn't look good he is down to 130lbs. we are very worried i want to be positive but it doesn't look like he will last 2 years. my heart just aches, i wish there was more i could do.

    All You Can
    It sounds like you are doing all you can. My prayers are with you. Fay

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