7 cycles and a hysterectomy later...
My wife and I are both 35. We were trying to have kids for the past 2 years and now this. We have since reordered our priorities and try to focus on being happy with what we have which is each other. Although, I have no proof, I believe the stress of trying to have children plus going through fertility treatments triggered the cancer to show it's ugly face. My wife is staying positive these days in hopes that the power of the mind can do wonderful things. I believe that philosophy too but I just find it so difficult at times that I break down and cry.
I appreciate any feedback any of you can provide and commend you all for going through this difficult journey to remission.
Comments
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Welcome
I am so sorry to hear about your wife. I am the loved one of someone with OVCA as well, my mother. She has had 3 taxol carbo treatments and meets with her surgeon in 10 days. They intend to install a port when they do the surgery. I have total faith in the doctors as they seem to be treating her very well and she is at Memorial Sloane Kettering in NY. I understand the feelings of fear and hopelessness at time, and then optimism. This is a journey and no one knows what the final destination is. The women and men on this board have remarkable stories. One thing I would advise is not to think that stress or trying to have children caused this. Please, if your wife is 35 yo she may have a genetic issue, who knows, but many people go though infertility and do not contract cancer, so don't lay that trip on yourself. Attitude is tremendous. You would be amazed. Come here and get hope and support. I am amazed by the people here. This disease has changed me in an amazing way. I have a new found compassion. As I said to someone the other day, I am just walking with my mother, next to her, one step at a time. Your wife is lucky to have you by her side!0 -
Jaystizo,
first I want to say that your wife is so blessed to have you as a husband. I can tell that you are very caring. I'm sorry you had to come here, but you will find some pretty cool gals who have been through a lot and have good info and advice.
I have a friend who had a port into her stomach. I did have a port but in my chest. There are studies out there discussing the differences. It does tend to make the side effects more harsh but also has been known to be very effective. I also had a chemo assay and have used gemzar.
Being positive is good, but crying and breaking down is good too. You have to do both. I cry and have pity parties sometimes, but most of the time I keep my focus on God and his love for me. I have had wonderful support (and the ladies here have been a big part of that) and although the journey has been really tough, I am learning how to live with cancer and also live a "normal' life.
Warm hugs,
kathleen0 -
Fertility
Sorry I don't know anything about the port in the stomache mine is a power port that is implanted under the skin in my chest and they use the IV to put the chemo into my port by a needle.
I can relate with your situation my husband and I have tried to have children for almost 9 years and were about to go through more infertility treatments when I found out in May by accident. They did a full hysterectomy on me as well and I was devestated knowing that I now have no chance of having a baby, adoption is just too expensive. You and your wife will be in my prayers. I was told after this happened on an infertility website that all the infertility treatments I had could have been a trigger but not the cause of the cancer I have a huge family history of OVCA and breast cancer.0 -
Welcome and ask all you want
What a nice guy your are to post for your wife. You can read our stories by clicking on our pictures beside our posts if your wife would like. My port is in my left chest between collarbone and breast and I have had it since March, 2007. My chemo goes into a vein in my neck from that in order to save the wear and tear on the arm veins. It does not go into the abdomen directly like many of the younger women have. I will be 71 next week so I am an old bird. Age may play a part in the selection of which port to use. Ask her doctor. The one thing I can say now that my husband's support and taking notes at each doctors' appt. has really helped in my fighting this disease as well as I have. It means everything that he is understanding and willing. WE more experienced ones are willing to share our experience, love, and understanding and things we have done along the way. Just ask....(((Hugs)) Saundra0 -
fertility and IP chemo
Hello,
I was diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer in sept. 08.
I too had infertility treatment. One SUCCESSFUL treatment of IVF in 2003 and another natural pregnancy in 2005. I also had a natural pregnancy years earier from a previous marriage. My infertility was do to fallopian tube issues. I actually had no problem getting pregnant but I had several ectopic pregnancies. I read in parenting magazine there was an extensive study done, in Sweeden I think, where it showed no link between IVF and ovarian cancer. I am 43 years old and considered myself low risk. I breastfed all my children for over a year each. I ate well, exercised and was NEVER sick!!!
I had 5 rounds of taxol and carbo IV. I then had an IP port placed and recv'd 3 rounds of taxol and cisplatin IP. The IP symptoms weren't too bad for me. My biggest complaint was fatigue. The IP chemo gave me bad gas and I had lots of abdominal pain but nothing too bad. Memorial Sloan Kettering's website says women with stage 3 ovaca who have a combination of IV and IP chemo live an average of 15 months longer then women who don't. 15 months longer then what, I don't know.
I also had the genetic testing done and was BRCA 1 and 2 negative. I was working in a very stressful job for about 2 years prior to being diagnosed. I do believe in ability to handle the stress contributed to my becoming ill.0 -
Thanks Everyone
Thank you all for your responses. Since her hysterectomy, my wife's weight has dropped significantly; she's just under 5' tall and weighs 78lbs. She hasn't been eating much because she feels afraid to eat if she hasn't had a bowel movement in a while. She refuses to take any laxatives and relies on high fiber foods or freshly squeezed vegetable juice. Plus, she has gas build-up that often causes her pain. She also feels pain on the right side of her lower back. To ease the back pain, she applies a hot pad to it that she warms up in the microwave. Can any of you confirm the lower back pain or any pain(s) felt after the hysterectomy? Is it possible that her insides are just not used to her missing body parts causing some irregularities in her digestive system thereby causing pain? Or can the pain be cancer related which I hope is not the case?0 -
Painjaystizo said:Thanks Everyone
Thank you all for your responses. Since her hysterectomy, my wife's weight has dropped significantly; she's just under 5' tall and weighs 78lbs. She hasn't been eating much because she feels afraid to eat if she hasn't had a bowel movement in a while. She refuses to take any laxatives and relies on high fiber foods or freshly squeezed vegetable juice. Plus, she has gas build-up that often causes her pain. She also feels pain on the right side of her lower back. To ease the back pain, she applies a hot pad to it that she warms up in the microwave. Can any of you confirm the lower back pain or any pain(s) felt after the hysterectomy? Is it possible that her insides are just not used to her missing body parts causing some irregularities in her digestive system thereby causing pain? Or can the pain be cancer related which I hope is not the case?
I have pain in my abdomin all the time since my hysterectomy I do discuss it with the Dr. some of it he says is scar tissue and also a place that has been a little herniated since the surgery. Every once in a while there is some pain in my back which can be when I have bowel issues. You will notice bowel issues are common on here and you keep it most of the time I have pain in the abdomin due to that also. If she is having these issues she should talk to her Dr. mine told me to use a stool softener everyday or Mirilax everyday. There are some things that can help like Senokot which is a stool softener and Mirilax is a powder that can be added to juice, coffee, anything like that and it really doesn't have any taste a lot of the ladies use that one which can help. She needs to eat to keep her strength up especially with the treatments. Drink plenty of fluids also. Tell her to try the Mirilax, also I have noticed that oatmeal helps some.0 -
abdominal painjaystizo said:Thanks Everyone
Thank you all for your responses. Since her hysterectomy, my wife's weight has dropped significantly; she's just under 5' tall and weighs 78lbs. She hasn't been eating much because she feels afraid to eat if she hasn't had a bowel movement in a while. She refuses to take any laxatives and relies on high fiber foods or freshly squeezed vegetable juice. Plus, she has gas build-up that often causes her pain. She also feels pain on the right side of her lower back. To ease the back pain, she applies a hot pad to it that she warms up in the microwave. Can any of you confirm the lower back pain or any pain(s) felt after the hysterectomy? Is it possible that her insides are just not used to her missing body parts causing some irregularities in her digestive system thereby causing pain? Or can the pain be cancer related which I hope is not the case?
As TDodd said abdominal pain is common. I have abdominal pain alot sometimes with diarrhea sometimes without. I too get afraid to eat. I lost 20lbs initally but have since gained it all back. I get frequent symptoms of bowel obstruction everytime I go to the ER now obstruction is seen on film.....who knows what it is. I often fear it is cancer. I also get gas pains. I've never had the pain radiate to my back. Good luck.0 -
Constipationjaystizo said:Thanks Everyone
Thank you all for your responses. Since her hysterectomy, my wife's weight has dropped significantly; she's just under 5' tall and weighs 78lbs. She hasn't been eating much because she feels afraid to eat if she hasn't had a bowel movement in a while. She refuses to take any laxatives and relies on high fiber foods or freshly squeezed vegetable juice. Plus, she has gas build-up that often causes her pain. She also feels pain on the right side of her lower back. To ease the back pain, she applies a hot pad to it that she warms up in the microwave. Can any of you confirm the lower back pain or any pain(s) felt after the hysterectomy? Is it possible that her insides are just not used to her missing body parts causing some irregularities in her digestive system thereby causing pain? Or can the pain be cancer related which I hope is not the case?
I had no constipation prior to this disease...ever due to healthy diet. I encourage your wife to recognize that things in the bowels just don't work well with this disease and the treatments of chemo. I use Mirilax to keep things moving and laxatives if things get backed up. Constipation is as painful as my multiple cancer tumors were with the gas that comes with it. Doubles me over sometimes. I gained weight by having Ensure milkshakes with lots of ice cream when I lost a lot of it. Needless to say I had to change some of my habits to address the issues at hand. Saundra0 -
Devastated
A week ago, my wife began to get constipated causing her enough pain that she needed to sleep on our living room sofa in an upright position to be somewhat comfortable. We tried many over the counter laxatives but had no success. This past Saturday, the pain was too much to handle so we made a trip to the nearby E.R. They gave her 2 enemas but they had no success. After a ct-scan was done, they found a mass impeding bowel movement. Their recommendation was to transfer her immediately to the hospital where our oncologist is located since they would best know how to proceed. Once she was transfered, they did another ct-scan.
Our oncologist spoke to us this morning and said the tumors had grown and spread to her upper abdomen. Their first priority is get her bowels moving normally but it may involve surgery thereby delaying any kind of chemo treatment. Before all this happened, we had 3 options on how to attack the cancer; one of them being IP chemo and then Avastin after a cycle or two. But now, those options are no longer viable. We're stuck with gemcitabine via IV but like I said earlier, we have to wait till her bowels are working properly which will give the cancer time to grow and spread.
All this has left me in a bad state emotionally. I feel so helpless. This has to be the worst day of my life.0 -
Devastatedjaystizo said:Devastated
A week ago, my wife began to get constipated causing her enough pain that she needed to sleep on our living room sofa in an upright position to be somewhat comfortable. We tried many over the counter laxatives but had no success. This past Saturday, the pain was too much to handle so we made a trip to the nearby E.R. They gave her 2 enemas but they had no success. After a ct-scan was done, they found a mass impeding bowel movement. Their recommendation was to transfer her immediately to the hospital where our oncologist is located since they would best know how to proceed. Once she was transfered, they did another ct-scan.
Our oncologist spoke to us this morning and said the tumors had grown and spread to her upper abdomen. Their first priority is get her bowels moving normally but it may involve surgery thereby delaying any kind of chemo treatment. Before all this happened, we had 3 options on how to attack the cancer; one of them being IP chemo and then Avastin after a cycle or two. But now, those options are no longer viable. We're stuck with gemcitabine via IV but like I said earlier, we have to wait till her bowels are working properly which will give the cancer time to grow and spread.
All this has left me in a bad state emotionally. I feel so helpless. This has to be the worst day of my life.
Hello,
I know it feels like the worst day of your life, but things are going to get better. It's a slow process. I felt the same way you did back in June of 2009. I thought I was a dead woman and my life was over, but it was not. I am currently taking chemo. I used to cry all the time. I used to ask god to take me now,but things gradually got better and you learn to live with things. Just try to think as positive as you can and be an advocate for your wife. It helped me to ask alot of questions and do alot of research. I try to live as normal as a life I can. I don't try to fight my feelings I just go with the flow. My dad says "worrying never stops anything". Be positive as much as you can. It will go a long way. I know a woman here, at my cancer center, wait I know 2 women, they were a stage 4 and both women are fine they are 12 years and 17 year survivors. So, things are not as hopeless as they might seem to you right now. You have to believe that your wife will get better. Hope this helps you. Paula0 -
Devastatedjaystizo said:Devastated
A week ago, my wife began to get constipated causing her enough pain that she needed to sleep on our living room sofa in an upright position to be somewhat comfortable. We tried many over the counter laxatives but had no success. This past Saturday, the pain was too much to handle so we made a trip to the nearby E.R. They gave her 2 enemas but they had no success. After a ct-scan was done, they found a mass impeding bowel movement. Their recommendation was to transfer her immediately to the hospital where our oncologist is located since they would best know how to proceed. Once she was transfered, they did another ct-scan.
Our oncologist spoke to us this morning and said the tumors had grown and spread to her upper abdomen. Their first priority is get her bowels moving normally but it may involve surgery thereby delaying any kind of chemo treatment. Before all this happened, we had 3 options on how to attack the cancer; one of them being IP chemo and then Avastin after a cycle or two. But now, those options are no longer viable. We're stuck with gemcitabine via IV but like I said earlier, we have to wait till her bowels are working properly which will give the cancer time to grow and spread.
All this has left me in a bad state emotionally. I feel so helpless. This has to be the worst day of my life.
Hello,
I know it feels like the worst day of your life, but things are going to get better. It's a slow process. I felt the same way you did back in June of 2009. I thought I was a dead woman and my life was over, but it was not. I am currently taking chemo. I used to cry all the time. I used to ask god to take me now,but things gradually got better and you learn to live with things. Just try to think as positive as you can and be an advocate for your wife. It helped me to ask alot of questions and do alot of research. I try to live as normal as a life I can. I don't try to fight my feelings I just go with the flow. My dad says "worrying never stops anything". Be positive as much as you can. It will go a long way. I know a woman here, at my cancer center, wait I know 2 women, they were a stage 4 and both women are fine they are 12 years and 17 year survivors. So, things are not as hopeless as they might seem to you right now. You have to believe that your wife will get better. Hope this helps you. Paula0 -
Devastatedjaystizo said:Devastated
A week ago, my wife began to get constipated causing her enough pain that she needed to sleep on our living room sofa in an upright position to be somewhat comfortable. We tried many over the counter laxatives but had no success. This past Saturday, the pain was too much to handle so we made a trip to the nearby E.R. They gave her 2 enemas but they had no success. After a ct-scan was done, they found a mass impeding bowel movement. Their recommendation was to transfer her immediately to the hospital where our oncologist is located since they would best know how to proceed. Once she was transfered, they did another ct-scan.
Our oncologist spoke to us this morning and said the tumors had grown and spread to her upper abdomen. Their first priority is get her bowels moving normally but it may involve surgery thereby delaying any kind of chemo treatment. Before all this happened, we had 3 options on how to attack the cancer; one of them being IP chemo and then Avastin after a cycle or two. But now, those options are no longer viable. We're stuck with gemcitabine via IV but like I said earlier, we have to wait till her bowels are working properly which will give the cancer time to grow and spread.
All this has left me in a bad state emotionally. I feel so helpless. This has to be the worst day of my life.
Hello,
I know it feels like the worst day of your life, but things are going to get better. It's a slow process. I felt the same way you did back in June of 2009. I thought I was a dead woman and my life was over, but it was not. I am currently taking chemo. I used to cry all the time. I used to ask god to take me now,but things gradually got better and you learn to live with things. Just try to think as positive as you can and be an advocate for your wife. It helped me to ask alot of questions and do alot of research. I try to live as normal as a life I can. I don't try to fight my feelings I just go with the flow. My dad says "worrying never stops anything". Be positive as much as you can. It will go a long way. I know a woman here, at my cancer center, wait I know 2 women, they were a stage 4 and both women are fine they are 12 years and 17 year survivors. So, things are not as hopeless as they might seem to you right now. You have to believe that your wife will get better. Hope this helps you. Paula0 -
Devastatedjaystizo said:Devastated
A week ago, my wife began to get constipated causing her enough pain that she needed to sleep on our living room sofa in an upright position to be somewhat comfortable. We tried many over the counter laxatives but had no success. This past Saturday, the pain was too much to handle so we made a trip to the nearby E.R. They gave her 2 enemas but they had no success. After a ct-scan was done, they found a mass impeding bowel movement. Their recommendation was to transfer her immediately to the hospital where our oncologist is located since they would best know how to proceed. Once she was transfered, they did another ct-scan.
Our oncologist spoke to us this morning and said the tumors had grown and spread to her upper abdomen. Their first priority is get her bowels moving normally but it may involve surgery thereby delaying any kind of chemo treatment. Before all this happened, we had 3 options on how to attack the cancer; one of them being IP chemo and then Avastin after a cycle or two. But now, those options are no longer viable. We're stuck with gemcitabine via IV but like I said earlier, we have to wait till her bowels are working properly which will give the cancer time to grow and spread.
All this has left me in a bad state emotionally. I feel so helpless. This has to be the worst day of my life.
Hello,
I know it feels like the worst day of your life, but things are going to get better. It's a slow process. I felt the same way you did back in June of 2009. I thought I was a dead woman and my life was over, but it was not. I am currently taking chemo. I used to cry all the time. I used to ask god to take me now,but things gradually got better and you learn to live with things. Just try to think as positive as you can and be an advocate for your wife. It helped me to ask alot of questions and do alot of research. I try to live as normal as a life I can. I don't try to fight my feelings I just go with the flow. My dad says "worrying never stops anything". Be positive as much as you can. It will go a long way. I know a woman here, at my cancer center, wait I know 2 women, they were a stage 4 and both women are fine they are 12 years and 17 year survivors. So, things are not as hopeless as they might seem to you right now. You have to believe that your wife will get better. Hope this helps you. Paula0 -
Apology To The Discussion Boardjaystizo said:Devastated
A week ago, my wife began to get constipated causing her enough pain that she needed to sleep on our living room sofa in an upright position to be somewhat comfortable. We tried many over the counter laxatives but had no success. This past Saturday, the pain was too much to handle so we made a trip to the nearby E.R. They gave her 2 enemas but they had no success. After a ct-scan was done, they found a mass impeding bowel movement. Their recommendation was to transfer her immediately to the hospital where our oncologist is located since they would best know how to proceed. Once she was transfered, they did another ct-scan.
Our oncologist spoke to us this morning and said the tumors had grown and spread to her upper abdomen. Their first priority is get her bowels moving normally but it may involve surgery thereby delaying any kind of chemo treatment. Before all this happened, we had 3 options on how to attack the cancer; one of them being IP chemo and then Avastin after a cycle or two. But now, those options are no longer viable. We're stuck with gemcitabine via IV but like I said earlier, we have to wait till her bowels are working properly which will give the cancer time to grow and spread.
All this has left me in a bad state emotionally. I feel so helpless. This has to be the worst day of my life.
Hello,
I want to apologize to the discission board. My last posting got posted 4 times. I do not know what happened. I tried to fix it, but I only made it worse. Sorry.0 -
hi
hi there i have the port and it is a god sent for sure she should do it. i am 58 and have stage 4 gong in to 18 months . have had chmo and all that tell her to hang there
god bless bonnie0 -
hi nancynancy591 said:fertility and IP chemo
Hello,
I was diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer in sept. 08.
I too had infertility treatment. One SUCCESSFUL treatment of IVF in 2003 and another natural pregnancy in 2005. I also had a natural pregnancy years earier from a previous marriage. My infertility was do to fallopian tube issues. I actually had no problem getting pregnant but I had several ectopic pregnancies. I read in parenting magazine there was an extensive study done, in Sweeden I think, where it showed no link between IVF and ovarian cancer. I am 43 years old and considered myself low risk. I breastfed all my children for over a year each. I ate well, exercised and was NEVER sick!!!
I had 5 rounds of taxol and carbo IV. I then had an IP port placed and recv'd 3 rounds of taxol and cisplatin IP. The IP symptoms weren't too bad for me. My biggest complaint was fatigue. The IP chemo gave me bad gas and I had lots of abdominal pain but nothing too bad. Memorial Sloan Kettering's website says women with stage 3 ovaca who have a combination of IV and IP chemo live an average of 15 months longer then women who don't. 15 months longer then what, I don't know.
I also had the genetic testing done and was BRCA 1 and 2 negative. I was working in a very stressful job for about 2 years prior to being diagnosed. I do believe in ability to handle the stress contributed to my becoming ill.
hi nancy i am new to the site and love it i am with you i think stress plays abig part in our getting sick ,i was told last april i had stage 4 i had fluid around my liver that was drawen off and has never came back thank god, had 6 carbo and taxal then all of it taken out. then more chamo. 11 in all . then still cancer there very small and tney put me on tipopkin a reaserrch drug and have been on it for 9 months, we may have to go back to chamo if scan monday shows any thing marker is 100, got sick and had to stay off the drug for 3 weeks so we will see i have done great . i feel so blessed.they say if i have to go back on it it will be avastion/doxil maybe, just ran across your story i am 58 one child he is 41. went through the change and got this. i worked as a nursing assitfor hospice for 20 years, even worked at the clinic where i am going is the drs. i see your kids how cute god bless you stay happy and laugh be postive and strong and you will get through this i think a cure is comming soon.
bonnie thomas0
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