The Cancer Survivors Network (CSN) is a peer support community for cancer patients, survivors, caregivers, families, and friends! CSN is a safe place to connect with others who share your interests and experiences.

Thank you for being a part of the Cancer Survivor Network community. Survivors and caregivers like you have played a unique role in fostering an online environment that encourages connection among those needing support, community, and education. On May 28, the Network will be discontinued. More details are available here . If you have any questions, contact CSNSupportTeam@cancer.org. Thanks again for the support you’ve provided each other over the years. We remain committed to supporting you in other ways throughout your cancer journey.

JUST SOMETHIN

GOOFYLADIE
GOOFYLADIE CSN Member Posts: 232 Member
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
A few months before I found out I had cancer I did a few strange things. Well for me they were strange. I started buying Angel and Cherub pictures and I redecorated my livingroom. It hadn't been long since I had organized all the kids pictures and family photos and few musical instrument pictures on the walls. I started seeing pictures of Angels and Cherubs in a different way. Bigger, brighter, magnificient way. Kind of like they were watching over me. I soon filled my living room with home interiors and other expensive art store photos. Totally, not my original style. I am a believer, but not a holy roller. I think people can take it over the top, and forget who God is. Anyway, just thought I would throw that out there to see if anyone else had anything like that.

It was like I had Angels watching over me in my home when my family and friends could not be there to help. It was a little odd at first and then I realized angels are from heaven. YEAH, I know where Im going if I go. And I really was never scared.

There was only one time in the hospital I was truly scared. I am 6ft tall and I was weighing about 118 pounds. My eyes were sunk in my head, I looked like a walking skeleton; when I wasn't curled up in bed in the fetal position. I looked in the mirror at the hospital room one day and I really thought I saw my ghost. I just remembered thinking and saying to myself. "Oh hell no, your not getting me that easy, I have 3 boys at home waiting for me and husband that is just lost right now." I never felt that way again.

I have 11 years cancer free, with all kinds of side effects and health issues. They are pretty sure it is from the hard **** Chemo. I told the doc make it so I don't have to come back. So far, it hasn't; but it has played hell with my body.

Everyone keep posting. You don't know how much it makes me feel normal, when I here you guys say all things I went through and felt but didn't have this atmosphere to go too. This is truly a huge benefactor to cancer patients. If you don't post. Your missing out. Even if you don't think you have something to say; sometimes one word matches with someone struggling. Lots of kick **** going your way. Make it a Great Day!
Goofyladie (Cass)
Like Care

Comments

  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh CSN Member Posts: 4,392 Member
    #2
    Hey Cass :)
    Read you reply to my post - you told me that you appreciated me talking about the things you wished you could have 11-years ago but had no forum.

    I can relate to this, because even though there was a forum I did not know about it for the first 5 years of my cancer battle - I found the board on my 5th year, almost to the DAY of my 1st cancer Dx. Now, how's that for a story.

    So, I've only been on board a little over 3 months and have thrown out 550 posts! So, I guess what I'm trying to say, is I'm living out what you are trying to say...I've been slinging the hash :)

    Take care
    -Craig
    Like Care

Discussion Boards