How do you deal with all the fears?

Dawne.Hope
Dawne.Hope Member Posts: 823
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Went to my PCP yesterday for a totally unrelated BC issue. He ordered a chest X-ray. Received a phone call this afternoon saying that there is a 'vague shadow' in my left lung. He ordered blood tests and a CT-scan. Was dx with DCIS in my left breast six weeks ago. Since then have had more tests than I've had in my entire life. Totally was not expecting this and I'm scared. All the what-if's.

The dx was scary. The tests since then have been scary. This thing, I didn't think was going to be any big deal and now this. AGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How do you all deal with the stress and the fear? It is literally driving me crazy!!!!!

Comments

  • susie09
    susie09 Member Posts: 2,930
    Try to look at it this way,
    Try to look at it this way, your oncologist is doing everything to make for sure that you are cancer free and going to live a very, very long life! We are all here for you and will continue to help you thru anything!

    ♠♣ Susie ♠♣
  • outdoorgirl
    outdoorgirl Member Posts: 1,565
    Sorry that you got this
    news.
    I could tell you not to worry about it until there is something to worry about-but that would definately be lame and kind of dumb on my part since I realize that that would be hard to do for any of us!
    Let us know how things go...
  • roseann4
    roseann4 Member Posts: 992 Member

    Sorry that you got this
    news.
    I could tell you not to worry about it until there is something to worry about-but that would definately be lame and kind of dumb on my part since I realize that that would be hard to do for any of us!
    Let us know how things go...

    The toughest time of all!
    I will never forget the time between being diagnosed and staged. I was terrified. The best advise I can give you is to keep your mind busy. It isn't easy! If you are having unbearable anxiety, ask your doctor for something to calm you. I found something at the health food store that helped me sleep. Once you know what you are dealing with, you will feel much better. God bless!

    Roseann
  • Dawne.Hope
    Dawne.Hope Member Posts: 823
    roseann4 said:

    The toughest time of all!
    I will never forget the time between being diagnosed and staged. I was terrified. The best advise I can give you is to keep your mind busy. It isn't easy! If you are having unbearable anxiety, ask your doctor for something to calm you. I found something at the health food store that helped me sleep. Once you know what you are dealing with, you will feel much better. God bless!

    Roseann

    thank you, ladies!
    It is helpful to know that this time right now is likely the most stressful.

    I'm trying hard to draw a line in the sand and say, "I'm not going to worry anymore" but the thoughts keep creeping back in my head.

    I have a CT-scan on Sept 29 along with more bloodwork.

    We'll see. Until then I'm trying to focus on other things. But failing at it most of the time.
  • pinkkari09
    pinkkari09 Member Posts: 877
    Hi Dawn, there are many fears
    with this whole process, I was diagnosed 8-18-09, next week will be my 3rd chemo, it's tough to process everything and then more tests, more tests, more bad news, more bad news, it's very fearful. Try and keep your chin up, don't think of what could be and it helps to try and forget about the tests until the result is in, why worry about the unknown right. Fear is a powerful feeling but can be calmed with some great breathing techniques and positive surroundings, stay positive :)my thoughts and prayers are with you.
    BIG HUGS,
    Kari
  • VickiSam
    VickiSam Member Posts: 9,079 Member
    Dawne.Hope .. Stress and Fear are not our friends .. they
    derailed our fight and dampen our spirits. Getting a call at home or on the cell would send anyone into a tail spin, myself included.

    Did you have a CT scan before starting chemo ? I did, MRI, bone scan, chest x-rays along with echo. Yes, I agree the testing for breast cancer, and preparation of chemo is a little overwhelming and a pain in the butt. But these test are for our health, and create a baseline for our bc doctors, and onc.

    Now is the time to be 'zen', or the biggest bit.h. If it were me, I would be on the phone 24/7 .. not requesting .. DEMANDING test results. This is scary .. HELLO .. I need answers ... would be the first thing out of my mouth. I do KNOW for a fact that x-ray etc .. can be read that very same day of testing. This is our body, and our fight!

    Lastly, I fight my fear with prayer and many calls to my doctors - seeking answers.

    I will keep you in good thoughts and prayers.

    VickiSam
  • Dawne.Hope
    Dawne.Hope Member Posts: 823
    VickiSam said:

    Dawne.Hope .. Stress and Fear are not our friends .. they
    derailed our fight and dampen our spirits. Getting a call at home or on the cell would send anyone into a tail spin, myself included.

    Did you have a CT scan before starting chemo ? I did, MRI, bone scan, chest x-rays along with echo. Yes, I agree the testing for breast cancer, and preparation of chemo is a little overwhelming and a pain in the butt. But these test are for our health, and create a baseline for our bc doctors, and onc.

    Now is the time to be 'zen', or the biggest bit.h. If it were me, I would be on the phone 24/7 .. not requesting .. DEMANDING test results. This is scary .. HELLO .. I need answers ... would be the first thing out of my mouth. I do KNOW for a fact that x-ray etc .. can be read that very same day of testing. This is our body, and our fight!

    Lastly, I fight my fear with prayer and many calls to my doctors - seeking answers.

    I will keep you in good thoughts and prayers.

    VickiSam

    more waiting ... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!
    I had the CT scan yesterday and called my doctor's office about 30 minutes ago and they don't have the results yet. The receptionist said that they were waiting for it. She said it was too late to receive it today, they should get the results tomorrow.

    That conversation crushed me. All I've done for two months is wait, wait and more wait. I can't take it anymore. I just want to KNOW! How much waiting can one person take? Is it good or bad that they don't have the results today? Is it taking a longer because they see something or is it taking longer because there are more serious scans to look at?

    I started taking Tamoxifen two weeks ago and it is making me an emotional wreck, so that isn't helping either.

    I want to run away, tuck my head in the sand and just make it all go away.

    Sad, anxious and overhwhelmed,
    dh
  • lanie940
    lanie940 Member Posts: 490

    more waiting ... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!
    I had the CT scan yesterday and called my doctor's office about 30 minutes ago and they don't have the results yet. The receptionist said that they were waiting for it. She said it was too late to receive it today, they should get the results tomorrow.

    That conversation crushed me. All I've done for two months is wait, wait and more wait. I can't take it anymore. I just want to KNOW! How much waiting can one person take? Is it good or bad that they don't have the results today? Is it taking a longer because they see something or is it taking longer because there are more serious scans to look at?

    I started taking Tamoxifen two weeks ago and it is making me an emotional wreck, so that isn't helping either.

    I want to run away, tuck my head in the sand and just make it all go away.

    Sad, anxious and overhwhelmed,
    dh

    Waiting does drive you
    Waiting does drive you crazy. I had a CT scan this past August, but I was pretty sure what the results would be, a hernia. I think they had the results within 2 days. What realy had me bothered me was the biopsy on the "possible enlarged lymph nodes" Well, it took almost two weeks to get results back, which usually takes 2-7 days. I talked to my Oncology surgeon since he ordered the biopsy, he said "They aren't lymph nodes,we don't know what they are, I want them out" Soooo, he coordinated moving my hernia surgery up to before my radiation. NOW my Medical Oncologist said, they don't really need to come out,they aren't cancer, they are probably neurofibromas. Well, DUH, I told them several times I had neurofibromatosis.
  • Cat64
    Cat64 Member Posts: 1,192

    more waiting ... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!
    I had the CT scan yesterday and called my doctor's office about 30 minutes ago and they don't have the results yet. The receptionist said that they were waiting for it. She said it was too late to receive it today, they should get the results tomorrow.

    That conversation crushed me. All I've done for two months is wait, wait and more wait. I can't take it anymore. I just want to KNOW! How much waiting can one person take? Is it good or bad that they don't have the results today? Is it taking a longer because they see something or is it taking longer because there are more serious scans to look at?

    I started taking Tamoxifen two weeks ago and it is making me an emotional wreck, so that isn't helping either.

    I want to run away, tuck my head in the sand and just make it all go away.

    Sad, anxious and overhwhelmed,
    dh

    DH
    I too understand how the waiting & wondering can drive you absolutely mad! I know doctors these days can access reports right off the computer. I don't see why it takes so long for them to supposedly receive the results, then pass them on to you. So, here's a suggestion. I went straight to the hospital and requested a copy of the reports/results of the tests I had done. Now, I'm not sure if they can or will release them to you before the doc gets them so don't hold me to this. Maybe someone else can elaborate on that?
    Just a thought!
    Hugz,
    Cathy
  • Ritzy
    Ritzy Member Posts: 4,381 Member

    more waiting ... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!
    I had the CT scan yesterday and called my doctor's office about 30 minutes ago and they don't have the results yet. The receptionist said that they were waiting for it. She said it was too late to receive it today, they should get the results tomorrow.

    That conversation crushed me. All I've done for two months is wait, wait and more wait. I can't take it anymore. I just want to KNOW! How much waiting can one person take? Is it good or bad that they don't have the results today? Is it taking a longer because they see something or is it taking longer because there are more serious scans to look at?

    I started taking Tamoxifen two weeks ago and it is making me an emotional wreck, so that isn't helping either.

    I want to run away, tuck my head in the sand and just make it all go away.

    Sad, anxious and overhwhelmed,
    dh

    I have a question
    Dawne, you are having a lot on your plate now. I pray that you get some relief soon in the way of good news.

    I have a question for you. You are on tamoxifen now? Are you going to do radiation treatments? The reason I ask is that my rads oncologist did not want me on tamoxifen because he felt it would be dangerous. Tamoxifen is kind of like pacman and chases cells around and when you have rads, you don't want any cells moving at all. You want the good and the bad cancer cells to stay right where they are so that the zapper kills them.

    Sue :)
  • Dawne.Hope
    Dawne.Hope Member Posts: 823
    Ritzy said:

    I have a question
    Dawne, you are having a lot on your plate now. I pray that you get some relief soon in the way of good news.

    I have a question for you. You are on tamoxifen now? Are you going to do radiation treatments? The reason I ask is that my rads oncologist did not want me on tamoxifen because he felt it would be dangerous. Tamoxifen is kind of like pacman and chases cells around and when you have rads, you don't want any cells moving at all. You want the good and the bad cancer cells to stay right where they are so that the zapper kills them.

    Sue :)

    Sue,
    Yes, I am on Tamoxifen

    Sue,

    Yes, I am on Tamoxifen now, and no I haven't started radiation yet.

    I'm still having scans, and waiting on the gene test.

    Depending on the gene test, I may go ahead and have a bi-lateral masectemoy. It all depends on upcoming results.

    Thank you for the info. regarding Tamox. and radiation. I had no idea. We'll see what happens.

    Thanks!
    dh
  • tgf
    tgf Member Posts: 950 Member

    Sue,
    Yes, I am on Tamoxifen

    Sue,

    Yes, I am on Tamoxifen now, and no I haven't started radiation yet.

    I'm still having scans, and waiting on the gene test.

    Depending on the gene test, I may go ahead and have a bi-lateral masectemoy. It all depends on upcoming results.

    Thank you for the info. regarding Tamox. and radiation. I had no idea. We'll see what happens.

    Thanks!
    dh

    always something!
    I think we all know how you feel ... in some way or another. From the minute we are diagnosed ... it seems like all we do is have tests, treatments ... or wait for results, managing side effects etc. It's always something. While I was in the middle of my chemo I developed a caugh and during one of my chemo treatments the oncologist came in and told me he wanted me to have a chest x-ray. So ... his nurse called ... and they got me right in ... so I wheeled my little IV pole down the hall ... and they did the x-ray. The next day the oncologist called to tell me I had pneumonia. That was fun. NOT!

    Take care ... and good luck.

    hugs.
    teena
  • outdoorgirl
    outdoorgirl Member Posts: 1,565
    Ritzy said:

    I have a question
    Dawne, you are having a lot on your plate now. I pray that you get some relief soon in the way of good news.

    I have a question for you. You are on tamoxifen now? Are you going to do radiation treatments? The reason I ask is that my rads oncologist did not want me on tamoxifen because he felt it would be dangerous. Tamoxifen is kind of like pacman and chases cells around and when you have rads, you don't want any cells moving at all. You want the good and the bad cancer cells to stay right where they are so that the zapper kills them.

    Sue :)

    That's something Sue,because
    I think I was taking Tamox when I was going through rads,my rads onc knew about it,and didn't say anything.Maybe every doctor is different...