My last herceptin treatment was on May 20, 2009. I was 43 when they found the tumor and I was told that I would have two surgeries and once they sent the tumor off for analysis, we would proceed with what type of treatment was best for me. It turned out to be an aggressive form of cancer. I had support from my doctors, nurses, family, church members, and neighbors. I walked through aggressive treatments, hospital stays, blood transfusion like it was a piece of cake. I prayed the whole time through the last 18 months and persevered. Now, that I am supposed to be "back to normal", I find that I have a huge sense of loss and depression. I feel like I just walked through hell and back and, yes, I am in remission and on Tomaxifen, but I am hurting so badly. I am already predisposed to depression so I take Lexapro, but it is not helping the deep knot of pain in my stomach. My hair grew back (losing it freaked me out), my appetite has not returned to normal which is okay because I needed to loose a few pounds, but nothing taste good and I only eat because I have to. The one positive thing that came out of this breast cancer was not having periods anymore. The hot flashes and night sweats are getting better. I have called the Care Coordinator at the hospital and the American Cancer Society and they have both told me that these feelings are normal. It is hard for my husband of 20 years to understand where I coming from because he has never been through anything major. My heart wants to get out there and live life because each day is precious, but all I feel like doing is crying. Old hobbies and interest don't have the same appeal that they used to. My support system has dwindled because the immediate crisis is over. I am just feeling so lost. Please tell me your experiences. I want to hear this will pass. The doctors don't tell you about the aftermath of breast cancer. They get you through the worst of it, give you pills to help you cope with the side effects, but no one warned me I would feel this hurt. Thank you for your support. I'm glad ya'll are here.