New here.

Jenlbv
Jenlbv Member Posts: 3
edited March 2014 in Caregivers #1
Hi all,

I'm new to the board. I'm 39 years old and caring for my mother who is in her last few months of life after several battles with different cancers. She is in hospice care in my home right now and some days are just so tough. I have 6 children and am 4 1/2 months pregnant. I've read that my situation is called the "Sandwich Generation" I think it applies more to elderly parents, which I don't think of my mother as elderly at 69, but think it is definitely applicable in my situation. Because I know some days I feel like peanut butter spread way to thin between two enormous slices of bread.

I guess I'm just posting to briefly introduce myself and see if there are people a little farther down this road with any btdt advice for me. Especially, about prioritizing.

Thanks for listening.
Jennifer

Comments

  • sue Siwek
    sue Siwek Member Posts: 279
    #2
    are you an only child? if
    are you an only child? if not round all your siblings up and schedule times for all to help out. when my mom died that is what we did and it took some of the stress off each other. if others are not willing, contact a hospice that will visit and give relief. contact the doctor treating your mother or even your ob they have sources and can direct you. unfortunately nothing can remove the stress of losing a parent, i lost mine 6 mo. apart. but, you need to have a break here. good luck and keep posting on this site.
  • slickwilly
    slickwilly Member Posts: 334 Member
    #3
    sue Siwek said:

    are you an only child? if
    are you an only child? if not round all your siblings up and schedule times for all to help out. when my mom died that is what we did and it took some of the stress off each other. if others are not willing, contact a hospice that will visit and give relief. contact the doctor treating your mother or even your ob they have sources and can direct you. unfortunately nothing can remove the stress of losing a parent, i lost mine 6 mo. apart. but, you need to have a break here. good luck and keep posting on this site.

    jenlbv
    Hi Jen. It sounds like you have your hands full. There is no doubt that your going to need additional help. A few months ago my parents and I did hospice care on my sister. They took the day shift and I took the nights so they could sleep. Hospice workers were available but we really didn't need them. We did have a local health dept nurse stop in daily and that was a great help. We had a hospital bed delivered along with a thin air mattress that rotated pressure points every half hour to reduce bed sores. Along with a portable morphine pump and suction as my sister could not swallow. All I can say is work on getting additional help now as its not going to get any easier. You need some breaks or your going to get burnt out and you won't be any good to your own children. And last buy not least I am sorry that your going through this. But I would not give one second of the time I spent with my sister back as it was one of the best things I have done in my life. I hope you get some help. Slickwilly
  • sue Siwek
    sue Siwek Member Posts: 279
    #4
    slickwilly said:

    jenlbv
    Hi Jen. It sounds like you have your hands full. There is no doubt that your going to need additional help. A few months ago my parents and I did hospice care on my sister. They took the day shift and I took the nights so they could sleep. Hospice workers were available but we really didn't need them. We did have a local health dept nurse stop in daily and that was a great help. We had a hospital bed delivered along with a thin air mattress that rotated pressure points every half hour to reduce bed sores. Along with a portable morphine pump and suction as my sister could not swallow. All I can say is work on getting additional help now as its not going to get any easier. You need some breaks or your going to get burnt out and you won't be any good to your own children. And last buy not least I am sorry that your going through this. But I would not give one second of the time I spent with my sister back as it was one of the best things I have done in my life. I hope you get some help. Slickwilly

    right on!

    right on!
  • SonSon
    SonSon Member Posts: 174
    #5
    Hospice Care
    I have my mother-in-law home on hospice care, too. I think it has helped so much. I don't have any kids in the house, but my husband is just one big baby. I also am trying to keep my job and keep up the house.
    Hospice can help you get "respite care" - someone to come sit with your mother a few hours so you can rest, go run errands, go for a walk to take care of yourself a bit. Sometimes they will help prepare meals or do a little house cleaning.
    Ask hospice - or your local church or social group.
    Are any of your kids old enough to hold down some responsibilities around the house? Like take out the garbage, do the dishes (or some of them).
    I tell you - I never thought I'd do it but I am moving toward paper plates and plastic cups just to reduce the amount of dishes I do.
    Fatima

Discussion Boards