Doctor Refusal???

SonSon
SonSon Member Posts: 174
edited March 2014 in Caregivers #1
Looking for your feedback, advice....
Mother-in-law is in the hospital because of breathing problems and I thought that one good thing was that she would be seen by the medical oncologist that we were referred to. That means that she would have started with him today and not a few weeks from now whenever they fit her in their schedule.
We asked the intern today about the doctor coming and they said that the medical oncologist had seen her reports, that she is a hopeless case - that there is nothing that can be done for her - and that he would not see her.
My husband is really upset. He is shocked that a doctor can even refuse to see someone.
I think that may be true if she was already a patient of his, but she had not even gotten to see him the first time.
So, what do I do... go doctor shopping, again?!?!? It took me more than a month to get this referral.
Can I talk to the hospital administrator?
The intern said that they feel that there is nothing that can be done but qualified that with they are not cancer doctors. The cancer doctor looks at her charts and make a decision but won't talk to us about it?
Fatima

Comments

  • akbetty
    akbetty Member Posts: 38
    #2
    A disgrace
    Fatima, I have never heard of such a thing, although if it happened to you I'm sure it must have happened to others. If I were you I would talk to the hospital administrator, I would talk to anyone who will listen ( and yell at anyone who won't). I understand that they may not be able to do anything to truly help the cancer, but you and she deserve the dignity of being seen by the doctor and told face to face what he thinks about her case. I feel so angry, I can only imagine how you and your husband must feel. I sincerely hope you can find someone who will give your mother in law the treatment and dignity she deserves. Good luck, and I'm so sorry you have to cope with such insensitivity.
    Betty
  • newbride
    newbride Member Posts: 142
    #3
    akbetty said:

    A disgrace
    Fatima, I have never heard of such a thing, although if it happened to you I'm sure it must have happened to others. If I were you I would talk to the hospital administrator, I would talk to anyone who will listen ( and yell at anyone who won't). I understand that they may not be able to do anything to truly help the cancer, but you and she deserve the dignity of being seen by the doctor and told face to face what he thinks about her case. I feel so angry, I can only imagine how you and your husband must feel. I sincerely hope you can find someone who will give your mother in law the treatment and dignity she deserves. Good luck, and I'm so sorry you have to cope with such insensitivity.
    Betty

    I agree
    I never heard of a doctor refusing at least a consultation with the patient and family. At the very least he could have met with you and explained his reasons for feeling that treatment is no longer an option.
  • SonSon
    SonSon Member Posts: 174
    #4
    newbride said:

    I agree
    I never heard of a doctor refusing at least a consultation with the patient and family. At the very least he could have met with you and explained his reasons for feeling that treatment is no longer an option.

    We had a CT scan of mother-in-law's head yesterday because in the morning she presented with extreme confusion. She has three tumors in her brain and it is causing swelling - thus the confusion.
    Another very nice doctor, a hospital physician, did come and discuss the whole "no further treatment option" with us. He did say that we can give her some medicine that reduces the swelling in her brain that will allow her to be more lucid and extend her life a bit and improve the quality a bit. He gave my husband his cell phone number. A little bit of face time goes a long way.
    My husband, thank God, was ready to discuss hospice. Luckily, hospice social worker and this kind doctor showed up at the same time so I felt like it was a really well coordinated transition.
    She is home now and has not woken up for her first day back from the hospital.
    I have a few medicines more than what I used to give before - but I will have nurses coming to help me set up and keep good schedule for the pain medication (most important to me after the medicine for the brain swelling) and just to keep watch on her condition.
    The hospice social worker did contact the doctor that had refused to consult with her and was advised that because he felt that there was nothing he could do to effectively improve her condition that he chose to not make a consult - and that he will not be following her care during the hospice period. However, he did secure the services of a doctor within this particular hospital system who will follow her care.
    I feel SOOOO relieved to have even a little bit of assistance in all of this. My husband is paralyzed emotionally, mentally.... He is not himself and is not too helpful in all of this. I don't really blame him but dang it is hard when I'd like a bit more support from him. He is so good with his mother. I love to see him trying to feed her...you can really see the love.
    So, hopefully she still has a bushel and a peck of good days that I hope I can make lovely for her.
    Fatima
  • SonSon
    SonSon Member Posts: 174
    #5
    newbride said:

    I agree
    I never heard of a doctor refusing at least a consultation with the patient and family. At the very least he could have met with you and explained his reasons for feeling that treatment is no longer an option.

    Website hiccupped and published comment twice ... so I am editing this down to this errata message. :-\
  • terato
    terato Member Posts: 375
    #6
    Doctors will usually refer the patient to another physician.
    Fatima,

    The only time I ever heard of a doctor declining a case is when he knows someone else better qualified to treat her. What you describe seems callous and insensitive.

    Love and Courage!

    Rick
  • Barbara53
    Barbara53 Member Posts: 652
    #7
    Hospice will make things better
    Fatima,

    All of this craziness will settle down with the experienced Hospice caregivers get their plan together for you. They were wonderful when my father died from a rare cancer several years ago. Soon they will be helping with my mother, who is terminal with ovarian cancer.

    A close friend lost her mother to brain cancer, and it can be scary as functioning comes and goes, often with seizures. I don't think there is a great deal of actual pain, but a lot of sleeping.

    The medical labyrinth is so strange! You will soon have a Hospice RN coordinating your mother-in-law's care, and she or he will become one of the most important people in your life. Make use of all the services you think you can use -- including sitters who can give the primary caregivers a little time off. Take care of yourself and your husband, one day at a time, and spare yourself agonizing over diagnostic details. Peace awaits you, I promise.
  • angelsbaby
    angelsbaby Member Posts: 1,165 Member
    #8
    Barbara53 said:

    Hospice will make things better
    Fatima,

    All of this craziness will settle down with the experienced Hospice caregivers get their plan together for you. They were wonderful when my father died from a rare cancer several years ago. Soon they will be helping with my mother, who is terminal with ovarian cancer.

    A close friend lost her mother to brain cancer, and it can be scary as functioning comes and goes, often with seizures. I don't think there is a great deal of actual pain, but a lot of sleeping.

    The medical labyrinth is so strange! You will soon have a Hospice RN coordinating your mother-in-law's care, and she or he will become one of the most important people in your life. Make use of all the services you think you can use -- including sitters who can give the primary caregivers a little time off. Take care of yourself and your husband, one day at a time, and spare yourself agonizing over diagnostic details. Peace awaits you, I promise.

    I am sorry
    Hospice helped us but i was the main caregiver and would do a millions times over again for my love. I am so sorry our loved ones have to go threw this and be in pain to. Take care My prayers go out to you and your family.

    michelle
  • mumphy
    mumphy Member Posts: 440
    #9
    angelsbaby said:

    I am sorry
    Hospice helped us but i was the main caregiver and would do a millions times over again for my love. I am so sorry our loved ones have to go threw this and be in pain to. Take care My prayers go out to you and your family.

    michelle

    I also have heard of this
    When a patient is referred to a specialist the records should be received before the patient is even seen. I know that it's difficult for you in hearing that the oncologist did want to see you.. He probably thought is was best to skip seeing him if there is truley nothing he can do and get the ball rolling on other things that need to be done instead of wasting a week.

    Now your loved one will be one week closer to getting what she does need to have done instead of waiting for nothing.

    I'm not sure if that came out the way I meant it but I thing you know what I mean.

    Mumphy

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