Things that new and old but afraid to ask colorectal patients might want to know

Buzzard
Buzzard Member Posts: 3,043 Member
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
This is for the patients and caregivers of colon cancer patients that may have had lower tumors that might have caused slight or complete male potency problems ...

OK, Frank but to the point, since the women of this forum have been bold enough to go beyond (star trekkie jargin) and talk about romance issues then I too will expose a little about myself under same simularities...
Just after surgery I was asked by a member on here about issues with sex. I am very sorry to say that I never tried to use the PM or message part of this forum and missed his question completely . I hope he has found his answers he wanted and my apologies for that missed opportunity.
Before I was taken into surgery my surgeon spoke with me about all the percentages and possibilities of surgery in the area where mine was to be..Low rectal area where they took out the inner spincter muscle, the rectum, and I have an ostomy at the sigmoid.
He talked about the regions that were to be removed and the possibility that the nerve endings that stimulate male reaction were in the general area of removal that there was a 50% chance that I would be left unable to raise the flag anymore....There was another surgeon on his team that told me that if that were to be the outcome then he could take care of that part too.....I never had to ask what that part would be....It seems that the general removal of the tissue surrounding the nerves and the anti depressant that I am currently taking (Florextine) together has made it a slight bit hard (no pun intended) to raise the flag but with the introduction of Viagra it is enough of an aide to keep what was there before alive and well.
My libido has fallen off dramatically, I won't try to be macho and say that it hasn't, so when I went back to the Onc for my 3 month checkup he asked if I needed anymore Viagra, against all of my manly man intrained instinctive answers I told him "no" and that I probably had enough to last me until retirement......OK, not very good when you have a 35 year old wife so I have incorporated into our "new life" that we have date night once a week at least and it has become something I look forward to now as opposed to trying to avoid the situation entirely. Although its a small part of our life it is an important one just the same, and its not being fair if I can and choose not to just because its a little "unmanly" to use Viagra or so I thought.
My wife and life are more important to me now than they have ever been and the "macho" has been squeezed out of me by this feeling of mortality that becomes so apparent when cancer strikes. Hopefully this will allow a few more to find answers that are hard (again no pun intended) for the male going through to ask in a public forum.
If anyone would like to pm me for other answers or just to ask questions on what expect or anything for that matter feel free...I actually can use the PM part now..... :)

Bless you all.............

Comments

  • idlehunters
    idlehunters Member Posts: 1,787 Member
    #2
    BRAVO!
    I was very glad to see your post Buzzard. For some reason this subject never wants to be talked about openly. I am so glad we on this board feel close enough to address ANY issues. I think your wife is a very lucky woman to have you as a husband and from what you have said it goes both ways. Take care

    Jennie
  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866 Member
    #3
    Iwo Jima
    Sorry Buzzard but when you mention "raising the flag" I can't help but get the image of Iwo Jima out of my head. And I see these 4 little guys (like from the movie "A Night at the Museum" with Ben Stiller) helping raise it which makes it a bit stranger. I've had some visits from ED but not NED. In my case it's more the meds I think. I had made a post about it back in May (?). It's not like things aren't bad enough but true love and intimacy goes beyond raising the flag. Just don't raise the white flag and surrender.
    Thanks for the post.
    -phil
  • eric38
    eric38 Member Posts: 583
    #4
    PhillieG said:

    Iwo Jima
    Sorry Buzzard but when you mention "raising the flag" I can't help but get the image of Iwo Jima out of my head. And I see these 4 little guys (like from the movie "A Night at the Museum" with Ben Stiller) helping raise it which makes it a bit stranger. I've had some visits from ED but not NED. In my case it's more the meds I think. I had made a post about it back in May (?). It's not like things aren't bad enough but true love and intimacy goes beyond raising the flag. Just don't raise the white flag and surrender.
    Thanks for the post.
    -phil

    Thank God my surgery was in
    Thank God my surgery was in the upper region of the colon so that`s not an issue, but I will say the idea of little men helping buzzard raise the flag is slightly disturbing. Thanks for the visual image. I`m sure i`ll sleep well tonight.

    Eric ( : . )
  • Buzzard
    Buzzard Member Posts: 3,043 Member
    #5
    eric38 said:

    Thank God my surgery was in
    Thank God my surgery was in the upper region of the colon so that`s not an issue, but I will say the idea of little men helping buzzard raise the flag is slightly disturbing. Thanks for the visual image. I`m sure i`ll sleep well tonight.

    Eric ( : . )

    ????????
    So neither of you have ever heard of Gullivers Travels ???
    Bad Joke...I'll leave well enough alone now...>>>>>>>Buzzard>>>>>>(goes back to his corner )
  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,044 Member
    #6
    Buzzard said:

    ????????
    So neither of you have ever heard of Gullivers Travels ???
    Bad Joke...I'll leave well enough alone now...>>>>>>>Buzzard>>>>>>(goes back to his corner )

    Oh, boy.
    Ha! Bet y'all didn't think one of the females of the group would be reading this post. And now y'all have put a dirty slant on Gulliver's Travels, which is my older grandson's favorite movie to watch when he comes over to visit. Trust guys to do that! *L*

    Seriously, I think it's fabulous that all subjects are covered on this board. Some of this stuff is just tough to discuss with anyone else.

    *hugs*
    Gail
  • eric38
    eric38 Member Posts: 583
    #7
    tootsie1 said:

    Oh, boy.
    Ha! Bet y'all didn't think one of the females of the group would be reading this post. And now y'all have put a dirty slant on Gulliver's Travels, which is my older grandson's favorite movie to watch when he comes over to visit. Trust guys to do that! *L*

    Seriously, I think it's fabulous that all subjects are covered on this board. Some of this stuff is just tough to discuss with anyone else.

    *hugs*
    Gail

    Tootsie
    Good luck watching Gullivers Travels with your grandson now.

    Eric
  • Buzzard
    Buzzard Member Posts: 3,043 Member
    #8
    eric38 said:

    Tootsie
    Good luck watching Gullivers Travels with your grandson now.

    Eric

    Tootsie
    I knew that there would be women on this thread so I tried to make it as gender friendly as I could...I also know that we all share the same compassion for others and nothing is left out in here.....but yeah, I feel like I might could have had a slight brain fart with that one...I'll go back to my corner now... :)...Six midnights in a row and more to come makes me just a tad bit****rumdum*****......LOL
  • grammadebbie
    grammadebbie Member Posts: 464
    #9
    .Awewome Guys
    You guys are awesome. I've been married to the same great guy for 37 years and I sure would hope that he would have other guys to talk to in this situation. With colon cancer people are afraid to talk to us about it cause its so personal . Isn't it funny that natural body functions are taboo to some people but they are the same ones who tell the crudest jokes. You go guys, keep being real

    Blessings to you all.


    Debbie (there is another Debbie so I signed on as grammadebbie)
  • snommintj
    snommintj Member Posts: 601
    #10
    grammadebbie said:

    .Awewome Guys
    You guys are awesome. I've been married to the same great guy for 37 years and I sure would hope that he would have other guys to talk to in this situation. With colon cancer people are afraid to talk to us about it cause its so personal . Isn't it funny that natural body functions are taboo to some people but they are the same ones who tell the crudest jokes. You go guys, keep being real

    Blessings to you all.


    Debbie (there is another Debbie so I signed on as grammadebbie)

    Tiny Vaginy
    You know I could have left half a dozen posts on that thread but chose to keep my distance. I had a tumor on my lower sigmoid colon. The surgery didn't really effect my abilities. By the time my wounds healed I was back to normal. I have had a couple of unusual side effects. I don't know if it's scar tissue or what, but whenever I have a particular large or dry pooh, I get a terrible pain in my prostate epididimus area. If I've been constipated for a while my bowel movement will force an ejaculation without any warning or erection. Also since my colon resection my folfox treatments force me to keep an erection almost the entire time I'm on the pump. I don't want or desire any type of sexual activity but there I am with my chemo pump and an erection, every time. Don't get any ideas ladies. I'll stop letting you guys know when I getting treatment.
  • grammadebbie
    grammadebbie Member Posts: 464
    #11
    Too Funny
    You're too funny. All I can say is be careful what you wish for. All us ladies are in the same boat as you as far as interest but I'd be careful who you mention this to. Ha Keep up the humor .. it helps.


    God Bless You.
  • daydreamer110761
    daydreamer110761 Member Posts: 487 Member
    #12
    grammadebbie said:

    Too Funny
    You're too funny. All I can say is be careful what you wish for. All us ladies are in the same boat as you as far as interest but I'd be careful who you mention this to. Ha Keep up the humor .. it helps.


    God Bless You.

    oh no..
    Gilliver's travels, IIwo Jima, and Night at the Museum.....now how am I supposed to be serious later????

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