reaching out need help

lolad

lolad said:

Im actually sitting here
Im actually sitting here falling asleep trying to type which is good because im going on one hour of sleep in two days. I am signing off for now. Thank you for the wonderful ones who talked with me. I sososo appreciate it. Take care and big hugs back
laura

and why do my comments keep
and why do my comments keep posting multiple times?

aurora2009

lolad said:

Im actually sitting here
Im actually sitting here falling asleep trying to type which is good because im going on one hour of sleep in two days. I am signing off for now. Thank you for the wonderful ones who talked with me. I sososo appreciate it. Take care and big hugs back
laura

Laura
I just wanted you to know that yes we do care and we are here for you! I think what you are feeling is normal, I haven't even started chemo or rad's, in fact I haven't even seen my onco yet and it's been 3 weeks since my surgury, so I don't know what your going through in that respect, but I know all the waiting and wondering has got me down as well.

I think it's just like you said reality gets to you and being that you're going though chemo right now it really packs a bunch of reality right at you. It's hard to shake the funk especially when you don't feel good, yesterday I literally had to force my self to clean my house, it was a disaster, I thought maybe if I could get things back to some kind of norm maybe I'd feel better, it helped alittle. But when I found out the much awaited Onco appt I thought was today and it turned out to be yesterday I was upset all over again.

I really hope you start to feel better. I've never taken depression meds before, but am thinking about asking the Onco about them when I see her. Have you concidered to that also? Just wondering.

Keep us posted, God Bless you

Aurora ♥ ♥ ♥

carol41

lolad said:

and why do my comments keep
and why do my comments keep posting multiple times?

to lolad (and you, too, Aurora)
Hon, you have a whole lot on your plate! Please, please take better care of
yourself . . . you cannot function as mom, housekeeper, chief cook and bottle
washer, etc., etc. without sleep!! You MUST GET ENOUGH SLEEP for your body
(and mind) to function without bc and now that you have this extra burden,
sleep, good nutrition, are absolutely essential for your body to fight this
beast. You can do it!! You are a FIGHTER and a SURVIVOR - a WOMAN OF STRENGTH!!
It's down inside you!! God is with you and many prayers are for you as you
fight this battle!! Now GO TO BED!!!

chenheart

Hi sweetie~
From all of the
Hi sweetie~
From all of the posts, I think you can see how much you are loved and cared about. Just know that there is no timetable for how we should or should not be feeling at any given moment! Feelings are just what they are...and they are validated and understood by those on these boards. Thankfully, there are also many resources reaching out to help you put your feelings in a place where you can handle them better! Aside from coming in here and sharing with us, please know that your Cancer Team definitely wants you to be strong physically and emotionally, too! Your Dr can help you with meds if need be, or directing you to a physical support group. We all walk this road together, and its affects all of us. It doesn't matter if we are telling jokes, or being smart, or silly, or venting~ this disease has taken a big emotional toll on all each of us!

I'm glad you came in...also know that lack of sleep causes depression and anxiety too. And this is also something yur Dr can help you to conquer!

Hold tight, sister, and know that we are alongside you, every step of the way.

Hugs,
Claudia

taleena

Laura... I just read through
Laura... I just read through the thread, and I want you to know that you are in my thoughts... I agree with Claudia, there is such wisdom in her words... Do talk to your cancer team...there are resources available to help you through this... Sometimes our emotions are held in side as we deal with the "crisis" in the beginning, and when we get into dealing with it or sometimes at the end of dealing with it, a delayed reaction begins to hit us, all those pentup emotions begin to erupt... I know with the exception of this board, and normall during any crisis, I am the one that holds it together and goes through the motions... once the crisis is over, and everyone else is okay, ... that is generally when I fall a part... alone and know one knows.... With this dx I decided that I would not handle it that way if I were going to emotionaly survive this... I came here... I dump.. cry... laugh... whatever I'm feeling... I come here... It allows me to get it out... and the wonderful people here share those feelings with me... Maybe some of your emotions are finally trying to work there way out, and it's okay...We are here for you... every step of the way... our resposes my be delayed... there is so much more activity on the boards lately...but we will get here... You do need rest... for your body... please try to get some.. and know we are all here for you!

♥ & hugs...

~T

mlmjt1

HI Laura
I was diagnosed in April, had bilateral mastectomy in May complications in JUne and literally fell apart at the end of june. I had so much anxiety with my heart pounding in my ear I literally couldnt sleep.

I called my doctor and she placed me on an antidepressant med called Paxil. I was also started on an antianxiety med call xanax which is shorter acting and works in about 1/2 hour. I used a sleeping pill called ambien for about 1 month,just about the time that the paxil was working at its full potential.

I cried frequently and really was feeling like I was loosing it, but the antidepressants are really starting to work.

I think there is so much going in the initial phases of diagnosis and treatment that truly processing that you have breast cancer doesnt really happen until all the activity slows down. Then you are left to deal with the cancer, the chemo or radiation, reconstruction, work, family and it can overwelm you not to mention the fatigue is very real.

Please consider the medications. They may not choose to give you what I am on but there are alot out there. I havent had a crying meltdown in about 2 wks now. I feel like I am in a better place psychologically now since before my diagnosis.

Sleep is a big deal so see about a mild sleeping pill to use when you need it. Exercise helps even if its a walk with the dog or the kids. And most important, realize that for now you have a new normal. You will not feel like you did 1 year ago esp if you are doing chemo or radiation. We women think that we can do everything and we expect tons from ourselves but for now your normal is different. You will have sleepless night, if you work, you will need to think about working less. YOur house wont be as clean and the meals wont be as fancy and thats ok for now. Pick your priorities but make exercise daily one of them and your kids and hubby another...everything else....dont worry about.

We care about you Laura...just so you know it is therapeutic I think for all of us to help each other and for us to seek strength from you...

Hugs
LInda T

Calleen

mlmjt1 said:

HI Laura
I was diagnosed in April, had bilateral mastectomy in May complications in JUne and literally fell apart at the end of june. I had so much anxiety with my heart pounding in my ear I literally couldnt sleep.

I called my doctor and she placed me on an antidepressant med called Paxil. I was also started on an antianxiety med call xanax which is shorter acting and works in about 1/2 hour. I used a sleeping pill called ambien for about 1 month,just about the time that the paxil was working at its full potential.

I cried frequently and really was feeling like I was loosing it, but the antidepressants are really starting to work.

I think there is so much going in the initial phases of diagnosis and treatment that truly processing that you have breast cancer doesnt really happen until all the activity slows down. Then you are left to deal with the cancer, the chemo or radiation, reconstruction, work, family and it can overwelm you not to mention the fatigue is very real.

Please consider the medications. They may not choose to give you what I am on but there are alot out there. I havent had a crying meltdown in about 2 wks now. I feel like I am in a better place psychologically now since before my diagnosis.

Sleep is a big deal so see about a mild sleeping pill to use when you need it. Exercise helps even if its a walk with the dog or the kids. And most important, realize that for now you have a new normal. You will not feel like you did 1 year ago esp if you are doing chemo or radiation. We women think that we can do everything and we expect tons from ourselves but for now your normal is different. You will have sleepless night, if you work, you will need to think about working less. YOur house wont be as clean and the meals wont be as fancy and thats ok for now. Pick your priorities but make exercise daily one of them and your kids and hubby another...everything else....dont worry about.

We care about you Laura...just so you know it is therapeutic I think for all of us to help each other and for us to seek strength from you...

Hugs
LInda T

Laura
I hope that right now your are peacfully sleeping!! Your body and soul need the rest!! I am thinking of you and hope you post as soon as you wake up and read that we are here for you!! As you said above you used to post so you were there for others well now it's our turn to be there for you!! you said you wished you were in a clique well you are!! you are a member of a very very special clique the best possible one!! We are your Sisters and brothers and we are here for you!!! We all share a very unique bond... I for one am very grateful to have all of you in my life now!!!

God Bless you today and everyday as you grow stronger!!!

HUGZ...Calleen

zahalene

lolad said:

Im actually sitting here
Im actually sitting here falling asleep trying to type which is good because im going on one hour of sleep in two days. I am signing off for now. Thank you for the wonderful ones who talked with me. I sososo appreciate it. Take care and big hugs back
laura

Look for my 'PowerPoint' post
I just a few moments ago put up a post called 'PowerPoint', before I read this thread. Now I know it was especially for you that I posted it, although I still mean it for ALL my sisters here.
Hon, we have already packed your parachute. You are good to go. It won't be easy, but you will come through it and you will someday be packing parachutes for others.
God bless.

UPDATE: So sorry hun, couldn't get the PowerPoint posted link to work. But never mind, you have a great support system here and we are going to make sure you have a safe place to fall. And then we'll pick you up again and get you on your way again. Hugs.

susie09

Calleen said:

Laura
I hope that right now your are peacfully sleeping!! Your body and soul need the rest!! I am thinking of you and hope you post as soon as you wake up and read that we are here for you!! As you said above you used to post so you were there for others well now it's our turn to be there for you!! you said you wished you were in a clique well you are!! you are a member of a very very special clique the best possible one!! We are your Sisters and brothers and we are here for you!!! We all share a very unique bond... I for one am very grateful to have all of you in my life now!!!

God Bless you today and everyday as you grow stronger!!!

HUGZ...Calleen

So sorry Laura. I hope you
So sorry Laura. I hope you are feeling better. Talk to your doctor about some antidepressants maybe or seeking counseling.

dmc_emmy

susie09 said:

So sorry Laura. I hope you
So sorry Laura. I hope you are feeling better. Talk to your doctor about some antidepressants maybe or seeking counseling.

Laura--see, I told you...
that you would get many replies and I was right! I love being right, it gives me such a sense of power...just kidding.

I, also, hope that you are sleeping peacefully. Sleep is a great remedy, and so is laughter, for whatever ails you. Drugs are good, too, if you can handle them. The sisters here came through for you and offered you some great advise, that doesn't make easier to handle the chemo that is forced through your body, but it should give you a sense of peace knowing that we are there for you and we truly understand what you are going through.

Sweet dreams, Laura.
dmc

fauxma

dmc_emmy said:

Laura--see, I told you...
that you would get many replies and I was right! I love being right, it gives me such a sense of power...just kidding.

I, also, hope that you are sleeping peacefully. Sleep is a great remedy, and so is laughter, for whatever ails you. Drugs are good, too, if you can handle them. The sisters here came through for you and offered you some great advise, that doesn't make easier to handle the chemo that is forced through your body, but it should give you a sense of peace knowing that we are there for you and we truly understand what you are going through.

Sweet dreams, Laura.
dmc

Laura
I hope that you were
Laura
I hope that you were able to sleep and that things look better for you. There is so much going on for you right now and it can be overwhelming. Talk with your team about meds if you need them for sleep, depression, anxiety, whatever. There are many things that crop up during this journey. And continue to post here. We are here for you. There seems to always been someone who has had similar dx, treatments, side effects, medications, anxieties, etc. We all pull it together for each other. I know that you are newer to this board but all of us have the same feelings for everyone. We care for everyone new, old, and even when we disagree we are still there for each other. We will all help you through this.
Stef

lynn1950

Hope you've gotten plenty of rest
Laura, I don't know where you are at in your chemo cycle - my memory sucks - maybe you're not even on chemo (yet?), but if you are on chemo, the steroids (dexadron?) you are given for nausea can cause insomnia. And of course, fatigue contributes to feelings of depression. This happened to me after my first chemo session and I was given Ativan after that to help me sleep.

I think at some level depression is more normal than not, for most of us dealing with cancer. Not a pleasant thought, but at least you are NORMAL. Depression is treatable and, with help, it won't last forever. Be sure and let people at your cancer center know right away how you are feeling. They have seen it over and over again and will know how to help you or will refer you to someone who can help.

We don't all respond to your posts all the time, but we all love and support you. That's why we come here.

xoxoxo Lynn

Akiss4me

Laura, me too
I hope you are feeling better. I haven't felt good the last couple days and have suffered tremendously from insomia and what I know to be a chemically induced depression. I think it is from the neurontin they put me on. I am trying to hang in there till I see the neurosurgeon this month, but not sure I will make it. Lucky me, 1% of patients will get this side effect, so go figure. Well, I hope you are feeling better. ♥ Pammy

aurora2009

carol41 said:

to lolad (and you, too, Aurora)
Hon, you have a whole lot on your plate! Please, please take better care of
yourself . . . you cannot function as mom, housekeeper, chief cook and bottle
washer, etc., etc. without sleep!! You MUST GET ENOUGH SLEEP for your body
(and mind) to function without bc and now that you have this extra burden,
sleep, good nutrition, are absolutely essential for your body to fight this
beast. You can do it!! You are a FIGHTER and a SURVIVOR - a WOMAN OF STRENGTH!!
It's down inside you!! God is with you and many prayers are for you as you
fight this battle!! Now GO TO BED!!!

Thanks Carol
I think you're right some times I can't get my self to sleep until 5 or 6 am, and then I sleep til 1 or 2 not good. Theres no schedule with the kids out of school. Maybe I don't need an anti-depressant but a sleeping pill. Either was I'm going to talk to the Doctor about it on Tuesday.

Aurora

ppurdin

HI LAURA
I AM SO SORRY TO HEAR YOUR SO DOWN.I JUST STARTED FEELING BETTER AFTER SEVERAL DAYS OF DEEPLY DEPRESSED.ITS SO EASY TO GET THAT WAY. AFTER ALL WHAT WE ARE GOING THROUGH IS HARD.I PRAY YOU START FEELING BETTER SOON.I TRY TO REMEMBER THE PEOPLE IN MY LIFE THAT I NEED TO GET BETTER FOR AS WELL AS MYSELF.LOVE AND PRAYERS GO YOUR WAY.GOD BLESS YOU.PAT.

djteach

Hi Laura,
I was diagnosed in
Hi Laura,

I was diagnosed in 2005 and I know exactly how you are feeling right now, as I'm sure everyone on this board does. It is a crappy place to be, but try to remember it is temporary. You have been given some great advise, contacting your onc. or dr. to help with the medical part of it. Getting help with sleep is a HUGE problem for b/c patients and your drs. can help with that also. These medications work, have been proven and are not addictive.

The other thing I want you to do, which will be the hardest, is to stop with the guilty feelings that you are having. Guilt takes up vital energy that can be used better elsewhere. Easy to say, I know. I will just tell you this, you're kids do not blame you for their life change. (although it sounds like you are being superwoman when it comes to your kids) They are probably mad at the cancer and that is normal. Sometimes it helps children to be the helper and take care of Mom--just little things.

You are never alone in this battle! Give yourself a break, you are battling a beast that tries to take everything away from us. You are a warrior that needs a rest and some medical attention. When my depression hit, my onc. didn't even make me come in. She had the prescriptions ready and said, "I was just waiting for your call".

Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Love and gentle hugs,

Donna

karaokelorie

djteach said:

Hi Laura,
I was diagnosed in
Hi Laura,

I was diagnosed in 2005 and I know exactly how you are feeling right now, as I'm sure everyone on this board does. It is a crappy place to be, but try to remember it is temporary. You have been given some great advise, contacting your onc. or dr. to help with the medical part of it. Getting help with sleep is a HUGE problem for b/c patients and your drs. can help with that also. These medications work, have been proven and are not addictive.

The other thing I want you to do, which will be the hardest, is to stop with the guilty feelings that you are having. Guilt takes up vital energy that can be used better elsewhere. Easy to say, I know. I will just tell you this, you're kids do not blame you for their life change. (although it sounds like you are being superwoman when it comes to your kids) They are probably mad at the cancer and that is normal. Sometimes it helps children to be the helper and take care of Mom--just little things.

You are never alone in this battle! Give yourself a break, you are battling a beast that tries to take everything away from us. You are a warrior that needs a rest and some medical attention. When my depression hit, my onc. didn't even make me come in. She had the prescriptions ready and said, "I was just waiting for your call".

Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Love and gentle hugs,

Donna

depression
Thank all you ladies for being so open and caring! I had my mastectomy on 6/29/2009(right side)was very lucky do not need any radiation or chemo. thought ok i can deal with this, Went back to work 8/3/2009. Am thinking about what to do about my situation,reconstruct one do both or do nothing.I find it very hard to concentrate at work, started having severe feelings of doom that something is going to happen(really messes with your body). I didnt even put this together with what I,ve been thru because i thought id been handling everything pretty good.I have started taking bupropion (to help stop smoking) hopefully it will help with my feelings and body responses.
Thank you
Lorie

Christmas Girl

karaokelorie said:

depression
Thank all you ladies for being so open and caring! I had my mastectomy on 6/29/2009(right side)was very lucky do not need any radiation or chemo. thought ok i can deal with this, Went back to work 8/3/2009. Am thinking about what to do about my situation,reconstruct one do both or do nothing.I find it very hard to concentrate at work, started having severe feelings of doom that something is going to happen(really messes with your body). I didnt even put this together with what I,ve been thru because i thought id been handling everything pretty good.I have started taking bupropion (to help stop smoking) hopefully it will help with my feelings and body responses.
Thank you
Lorie

Welcome, Lorie
We're all here to support and encourage each. You've been through a lot - we sometimes force ourselves to jump right back into life, before we realize if we're even ready for it.

Take good care of yourself. Visit us often.

rjjj

karaokelorie said:

depression
Thank all you ladies for being so open and caring! I had my mastectomy on 6/29/2009(right side)was very lucky do not need any radiation or chemo. thought ok i can deal with this, Went back to work 8/3/2009. Am thinking about what to do about my situation,reconstruct one do both or do nothing.I find it very hard to concentrate at work, started having severe feelings of doom that something is going to happen(really messes with your body). I didnt even put this together with what I,ve been thru because i thought id been handling everything pretty good.I have started taking bupropion (to help stop smoking) hopefully it will help with my feelings and body responses.
Thank you
Lorie

HI lorie
I'm sooo glad you found us. You will be empowered, cared for and supported here. You will have many laughs and many questions answered.

Why don't you post a new subject and introduce yourself and let us know all about you?..just go to post new discusson.

hugs, jackie