love, fired, cancer
See, over a month ago, I was two months into a wonderful new relationship. He told me on our first date that he saw us married, with two kids, and loving life. I believed. I still do, allbeit three months into it.
Then came the news that I was being laid-off from a job of 12 years. Devastated? Yes.
It had become such an intregal part of who I was. Friends introduced me with my name closely followed by where I worked. Perhaps it made people think better of me....I didn't convince them otherwise.
Then, within a couple of weeks of the lay-off, comes the lump, the exam, the mammogram, the biopsy, then the diagnosis.
I gave him a "get-out-of-jail-card" three different times. Neither one of us signed up for all that's to come. He wouldn't think of leaving.
Today, I met with the onco-fertility specialists.
Imagine the conversation I have to have with him now...perhaps somehting like this:
"So I know we've only been dating for a few months, but how about having a baby....and then putting it on ice for a couple of years"!
Tomorrow I meet with the plastic surgeon to see what he has to say about reconstuction after the bi-lateral that I'm having in a few weeks.
Then there's the chemo, the pain, the fear....
I started reading a book that I'd forgotten was on my shelf. from Jenie Nash.
I'd forgotten about the emotions I felt the day I heard the doctor's diagnosis over the phone until I reread it in the pages of her book, "The Victoria's Secret Catalog Never Stops Coming".
Probably not a good idea to read this stuff so soon, but the release has been nice...perhaps I didn't allow myself that luxury until now.
I'm not quite sure what I'm doing writing this either, but something tells me its time to talk...even if I'm only rereading my own words
Comments
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One of the worst...
'side effects' of cancer is that we never JUST have cancer.
We have cancer and relationship issues.
We have cancer and job issues.
We have cancer and financial issues.
We have cancer and emotional issues.
We have cancer and...and...and...
Cancer touches not only our bodies, but every part of our lives. That's the bad news.
The GOOD news is that we are strong, brave, capable women (and men) who can cope, and get help, and do what has to be done, and prioritize, and schedule, and live with a less-than-clean house, and juggle days, hours, and minutes into a life we can manage without letting it manage us.
And then SOMEDAY, when the beast has been put back in its cave, we can, brick by brick, build a wall over that cave entrance and walk away, knowing that IF the beast ever does escape again, we will be strong, brave, capable women (and men) who can cope, and get help, and do what has to be done....
Resource: 23 years of cancer surviving.
God bless.0 -
How awful Heyred. I am so
How awful Heyred. I am so sorry. Being diagnosed with bc is hard enough, let alone throw something else on top of it. Please post again and keep us updated on you and your health. And, welcome to the site. I will put you in my prayers.
Hugs, Leeza0 -
Welcome Heyred and so sorryjnl said:How awful Heyred. I am so
How awful Heyred. I am so sorry. Being diagnosed with bc is hard enough, let alone throw something else on top of it. Please post again and keep us updated on you and your health. And, welcome to the site. I will put you in my prayers.
Hugs, Leeza
Welcome Heyred and so sorry for everything that has happened to you. Well, except for the new love in your life. Very happy for you inre to that. Try to stay positive and come here to get support and information. We will help you.
♠♣ Susie ♠♣0 -
DITTOzahalene said:One of the worst...
'side effects' of cancer is that we never JUST have cancer.
We have cancer and relationship issues.
We have cancer and job issues.
We have cancer and financial issues.
We have cancer and emotional issues.
We have cancer and...and...and...
Cancer touches not only our bodies, but every part of our lives. That's the bad news.
The GOOD news is that we are strong, brave, capable women (and men) who can cope, and get help, and do what has to be done, and prioritize, and schedule, and live with a less-than-clean house, and juggle days, hours, and minutes into a life we can manage without letting it manage us.
And then SOMEDAY, when the beast has been put back in its cave, we can, brick by brick, build a wall over that cave entrance and walk away, knowing that IF the beast ever does escape again, we will be strong, brave, capable women (and men) who can cope, and get help, and do what has to be done....
Resource: 23 years of cancer surviving.
God bless.
I love what Zah wrote. Hope it helps you!0 -
The book
A friend lent me that book a few years ago and I liked it too. I was 45 when diagnosed, but could still identify with most of it. I liked her idea of wearing red lipstick into the operating room. We all need to remember that we are all more than a diagnosis.
C. Abbott0 -
heyred
Welcome to our group of amazing kindred sisters. We will all be here for you. I think it is wonderful that you have such a supportive new love. That and the suport of all who love you and us here can get you through all of this. Keep us posted and I am glad you found us.
hugs, jackie0 -
heyred-welcome!rjjj said:heyred
Welcome to our group of amazing kindred sisters. We will all be here for you. I think it is wonderful that you have such a supportive new love. That and the suport of all who love you and us here can get you through all of this. Keep us posted and I am glad you found us.
hugs, jackie
Sorry for the reason that you have joined, but glad you found us. As for taking time to write, well, it took me nearly 3 years to finally make contact with the fine folks on this board. It took a throw into depression caused by meds to come here, but I have not regretted it for a minute.
We are here for each other. We are here for you...anytime you want to chat. Someone is typically on here around the clock, due to time variances or simply not being able to sleep. You see, we are all surviving and battling bc. Some of us may have been, or are going through, what you experiencing now. Others, well, we "just" have bc, but we understand the physical as well as the emotional pain that bc has caused and the havoc that it has brought to our lives. We lives changed the moment we were told our dx, but our lives are not ruled by cancer--it's only a part (though not a small one) of who we are.
Talk, unload, vent, share, ask for support, ask us to even carry you for awhile....we have all done it, that's why we are still here-talking and sharing. We even laugh a little. Who would have thought?
dmc0 -
Thank You, everyone.dmc_emmy said:heyred-welcome!
Sorry for the reason that you have joined, but glad you found us. As for taking time to write, well, it took me nearly 3 years to finally make contact with the fine folks on this board. It took a throw into depression caused by meds to come here, but I have not regretted it for a minute.
We are here for each other. We are here for you...anytime you want to chat. Someone is typically on here around the clock, due to time variances or simply not being able to sleep. You see, we are all surviving and battling bc. Some of us may have been, or are going through, what you experiencing now. Others, well, we "just" have bc, but we understand the physical as well as the emotional pain that bc has caused and the havoc that it has brought to our lives. We lives changed the moment we were told our dx, but our lives are not ruled by cancer--it's only a part (though not a small one) of who we are.
Talk, unload, vent, share, ask for support, ask us to even carry you for awhile....we have all done it, that's why we are still here-talking and sharing. We even laugh a little. Who would have thought?
dmc
Wow, I'm overwhelmed!
It's amazing what just one word of encouragement and support does for the soul.
I'm off to the plastic surgeon in about an hour, and I'll hear all about my options there.
Just got a call from the genetics lab, saying I don't carry the br gene, so that's good news, for the rest of the family.
It's just so amazing to know that there are others that share my anxiety and fear, and yes, even a laugh (thanks dmc).
I can't wait to be the one giving support, but today I thank all of you for giving it to me.0 -
☻Heyredheyred said:Thank You, everyone.
Wow, I'm overwhelmed!
It's amazing what just one word of encouragement and support does for the soul.
I'm off to the plastic surgeon in about an hour, and I'll hear all about my options there.
Just got a call from the genetics lab, saying I don't carry the br gene, so that's good news, for the rest of the family.
It's just so amazing to know that there are others that share my anxiety and fear, and yes, even a laugh (thanks dmc).
I can't wait to be the one giving support, but today I thank all of you for giving it to me.
I want to welcome you to the site too Heyred and good luck with your plastic surgeon's appointment. Good news on not carrying the gene. We like good news here! ☻ Come back and let us know how your appointment went.
☻Love Jeanne♥0 -
I know how losing a job
I know how losing a job changes your life. My husband was laid off in 2000 after 25 years with the company. It's been a roller-coaster ride since then. After I was diagnosed we decided to move back where the kids were. Sometimes cancer makes you decide what is most important. You will figure it out tho and there are still good times in the future just waiting for you to get there. So hang in there.0 -
That is why we are here, toheyred said:Thank You, everyone.
Wow, I'm overwhelmed!
It's amazing what just one word of encouragement and support does for the soul.
I'm off to the plastic surgeon in about an hour, and I'll hear all about my options there.
Just got a call from the genetics lab, saying I don't carry the br gene, so that's good news, for the rest of the family.
It's just so amazing to know that there are others that share my anxiety and fear, and yes, even a laugh (thanks dmc).
I can't wait to be the one giving support, but today I thank all of you for giving it to me.
That is why we are here, to support one another. Hope to hear good news on your surgeon's appointment. Let us know.0 -
Welcome, heyredheyred said:Thank You, everyone.
Wow, I'm overwhelmed!
It's amazing what just one word of encouragement and support does for the soul.
I'm off to the plastic surgeon in about an hour, and I'll hear all about my options there.
Just got a call from the genetics lab, saying I don't carry the br gene, so that's good news, for the rest of the family.
It's just so amazing to know that there are others that share my anxiety and fear, and yes, even a laugh (thanks dmc).
I can't wait to be the one giving support, but today I thank all of you for giving it to me.
Glad you found us, though very sorry for the reason. We're all here to support and encourage each other. You are now surrounded by fellow survivors. Like you, many read for a while before eventually posting.
Even when blessed with loving support from family and friends - this incredible group offers a level of true understanding not attainable without first-hand experience with the journey that is cancer. We will walk each step of that road with you, via cyberspace.
I'm hoping your appointment today went well. Visit often, whenever you'd like or need to.
Best wishes to you.0 -
Heyred, though I am sorry
Heyred, though I am sorry for the reason you are joining us, I want to welcome you here and say that you have come to the right place for questions, answers, support and frienship... I am so sorry that you have so very much to deal with on top of your dx..
Writing is good.. this site is wonderful... I have found myself typing about things that I would never say out loud, but the support for and from everyone here is amazing... type away... talk away... it really is helpful to not carry the burdens alone...
Hugs to you..
~T0 -
Heyred, welcome to the site.taleena said:Heyred, though I am sorry
Heyred, though I am sorry for the reason you are joining us, I want to welcome you here and say that you have come to the right place for questions, answers, support and frienship... I am so sorry that you have so very much to deal with on top of your dx..
Writing is good.. this site is wonderful... I have found myself typing about things that I would never say out loud, but the support for and from everyone here is amazing... type away... talk away... it really is helpful to not carry the burdens alone...
Hugs to you..
~T
Heyred, welcome to the site. I am so sorry for all of the bad stuff that has happened. I hope that we can give you encouragement and advice that will help you.
Post and let us know how you are doing.
Hugs, Diane ♥0 -
Welcome heyred....zahalene said:One of the worst...
'side effects' of cancer is that we never JUST have cancer.
We have cancer and relationship issues.
We have cancer and job issues.
We have cancer and financial issues.
We have cancer and emotional issues.
We have cancer and...and...and...
Cancer touches not only our bodies, but every part of our lives. That's the bad news.
The GOOD news is that we are strong, brave, capable women (and men) who can cope, and get help, and do what has to be done, and prioritize, and schedule, and live with a less-than-clean house, and juggle days, hours, and minutes into a life we can manage without letting it manage us.
And then SOMEDAY, when the beast has been put back in its cave, we can, brick by brick, build a wall over that cave entrance and walk away, knowing that IF the beast ever does escape again, we will be strong, brave, capable women (and men) who can cope, and get help, and do what has to be done....
Resource: 23 years of cancer surviving.
God bless.
I say "Ditto" also to what zahalene said. Cancer does touch every part of our lives and everyone in it!! Glad you found us, though very sorry for the reason. ♥ Pammy0 -
Hi Heyred! So much going onMarcia527 said:I know how losing a job
I know how losing a job changes your life. My husband was laid off in 2000 after 25 years with the company. It's been a roller-coaster ride since then. After I was diagnosed we decided to move back where the kids were. Sometimes cancer makes you decide what is most important. You will figure it out tho and there are still good times in the future just waiting for you to get there. So hang in there.
Hi Heyred! So much going on in your life. I pray that it will all work out for you!
Hang in there, I know it is tough!
I will keep you in my prayers!
Hugs ♥Lex♥0 -
Keep us updated on you ifDianeBC said:Heyred, welcome to the site.
Heyred, welcome to the site. I am so sorry for all of the bad stuff that has happened. I hope that we can give you encouragement and advice that will help you.
Post and let us know how you are doing.
Hugs, Diane ♥
Keep us updated on you if you can.
Hugs ♥Lex♥0
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