Lost and Confused

Sarah311z
Sarah311z Member Posts: 1
edited March 2014 in Ovarian Cancer #1
Hi..
My name is Sarah and i am 22 years old. This past January I was diagnosed with Stage I Ovarian Cancer. My cancer was a hypercalcemic small cell cancer and due to the sever nature of my cancer i was underwent 4 sessions of chemotherapy. I am happy to say i am now 3 months cancer free. Despite having healed physically i am having trouble healing emotionally and mentally. i am not sure if anyone other cancer survivors feel this way. to be honest i don't know any other cancer survivors. my only other encounters with cancer have been loss. i am thankful everyday that i am alive and thankful i had such a blessed experience with my cancer but i cant help but feel alone. i was wondering if anyone could give me insight as to how they coped with being a cancer survivor as weird as that sounds. i never questioned why i got sick, and feel in some ways it was a blessing. but its been these last three months that i have felt the most sadness and confusion. my question are always why was i so blessed. where do i go from here.. after surviving something that has effected so many lives. i sometimes feel like i was too blessed and guilt that i am not treasuring my new gift of life. i know this all sounds extremely bazaar and weird but i just need someone who has fought this fight to lend me a hand in understanding where i go from here.

Comments

  • saundra
    saundra Member Posts: 1,370 Member
    #2
    Dear Sarah,
    It is normal for us (either cancer free or not) to feel some sadness. One, hormones cause it or the lack thereof. Many of us find a mild antidepressant helps get us through the blues. I urge you to talk to your oncologist about your feelings. (((Hugs)) Saundra
  • jamilou
    jamilou Member Posts: 200
    #3
    Feeling Blessed
    Sarah
    Congratulations on being a SURVIVOR!! I am a nine year survivor and there are times after reading these boards that I feel a sense of why. Some of us our very Blessed to survive without recurrnce and I believe we do go through a type of survivors guilt. But know this...you have a life ahead of you where you can make a difference by being a survivor. The first few years are a little emotional and it is always good to be able to talk to others who are in your position. You may want to find a support group in your area. I went to one for a few years and it helped me sort through all of those emotions. Good luck to you Sarah! You should learn to celebrate each month and each milestone of your surviving!
    Jami
  • groundeffect
    groundeffect Member Posts: 639 Member
    #4
    You're found!
    Hi Sarah,

    Jamilou is right-survivor's guilt must be common, especially in those of us with low-stages, and you should find a support group in your area.

    I think there's a sort of let-down once you get past all of the surgery and chemo. It certainly isn't a glamorous spotlight to be put in, but you will resume having a normal life, and it's up to you to decide what you do with it! Hopefully, your close call will give you motivation to take action.

    Saundra is right about a mild antidepressant. There are different forms of them, and I'm sure a doctor could prescribe something that would be suitable for you.

    I'm sure you'll be scheduled for regular checkups, CA-125 tests, etc. You've truly had a lucky break!

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