Mom has a question for my "New Lady Friends" about chemo

Lisa13Q

I spoke to her this am. It's been about 72 hours post first treatment and she's spending the day in bed. Up until now, no serious side effects (chemo brain as she calls it, swollen ankles, and fatigue). Today she says it hurts and is taking her extra strength tylenol. She relays that it hurts mostly at the spots where the C is. We, of course, think that's great as we interpret it that the chemo is attacking the bad cells. Are we crazy? Also, I think it's cute that she wanted me to ask you guys. She is not ready to join the board, but she knows you're there and asks about you all. I call you my "new lady friends". So thanks for the great inspiration to us both. I tell her your stories, kind of like reading to a little kid. She loves it. Hopefully one day she'll be ready to join. Any other things we can anticipate in the next week? I thought that most of the side effects would be gone by end of week after treatment? My sister's dog, who Mom loves, just passed her therapy dog test so we can take the dog into the hospital after surgery!! Mom is very pleased about that. I look forward to hearing from you all. You have become a life line for me. Thanks.

Cindy54

Your Mom
Lisa, did you get any replies yet? And how is your Mom doing? And how are you? hOpe your days ahve some bright spots in them...hugs, Cindy

Lisa13Q

Thanks for responding
Thanks for responding. Since no one wrote back, I figured my question was really dumb. Anyway, she's been doing ok. Her spirits are up. We were hoping the chemo would make the swelling go down. In fact, the oncologist said that it would. But it really hasn't gone down. That, of course, worries me. Her hair has not fallen out either. I guess that's good but it makes me think it's not working. She's done well but has been very tired. Now my big fear is that it isn't working..and if it doesn't work....then what are we going to do? She describes feeling sore in her abdomen and female areas, which we were hoping meant that the chemo was killing the C. Any thoughts or feedback on what any of this means??? Feedback is really helpful given that we are totally new at this. This was her first chemo. Thanks. Lisa

saundra

Lisa13Q said:

Thanks for responding
Thanks for responding. Since no one wrote back, I figured my question was really dumb. Anyway, she's been doing ok. Her spirits are up. We were hoping the chemo would make the swelling go down. In fact, the oncologist said that it would. But it really hasn't gone down. That, of course, worries me. Her hair has not fallen out either. I guess that's good but it makes me think it's not working. She's done well but has been very tired. Now my big fear is that it isn't working..and if it doesn't work....then what are we going to do? She describes feeling sore in her abdomen and female areas, which we were hoping meant that the chemo was killing the C. Any thoughts or feedback on what any of this means??? Feedback is really helpful given that we are totally new at this. This was her first chemo. Thanks. Lisa

Swelling
Is the swelling in your mother's abdomen? It takes three weeks for the hair to fall. Your head gets really sore first which is a telling sign. I don't remember my abdomen feeling sore. May be fluid. Check with the oncologist office would be my next step. Saundra

TDodds68

swollen
I had my surgery in May and my stomach is still swollen and hurts all the time. My Dr. is just keeping an eye on it. My CA-125 went from 2838 to 8 so the chemo is working. He is worried though that in my family this cancer is heredetary that it will come back and I can not do the long term chemo pill after my treatments are done due to the one they are using I am allergic to that it may reaccur

kayandok

chemo
Hi Lisa, just checking in to say that I just read your note and wasn't sure exactly what the question was. I have had 17 cycles of chemo, not all in a row and I have found every cycle to be slightly different for side effects, and of-course different depending on the chemo. Most of my symptoms are within the first 10 days or so and get better as the chemo washes out but have had some cycles where there were no side effects but they kicked in later. I don't recall any ab pain. I did have achy joints and muscles though. I just try and go with the flow of what is going on. If there is anything I don't know what to do about or is extreme, I always consult my doc. The chemo nurses are usually very helpful too.

Is your mom on carbo/taxol? I did that the first time and my hair began falling out exactly 2 weeks later. I shaved it off and went bald, wore scarves and sometimes wore my wig. Mine began growing back after about cycle 6 for some odd reason. I guess it does that sometimes. Then, after I finished cycle 8 I had a pretty good fuzz going

I think that it is great that your sister's dog can go with your mom the next time she goes in.

I wish you and your mom the very best.
Take care,
kathleen:)

BonnieR

Hugs
Hi Lisa, I am so slow at posting lately. I hope you have had gotten the answers to your mom's problems and chemo is going well. Sending lots of hugs n prayers your way. Bonnie

Lisa13Q

BonnieR said:

Hugs
Hi Lisa, I am so slow at posting lately. I hope you have had gotten the answers to your mom's problems and chemo is going well. Sending lots of hugs n prayers your way. Bonnie

Thanks all you guys
I think she's doing ok.... Her spirits are amazing. I think she's handling this all better than me. I think my question was probably not answerable. I was hoping her disomfort in the abdoment meant that she could feel the cancer cells dying. Kind of like, it itches when a sore heals. I'm kind of reaching for anything to signal that the chemo is working. I think it's probably crazy but...I'll take anything for hope. She has round 2 next wednesday and I fly out to see her Saturday after my check up. Thank you all for responding. I can't believe how much I count on this board for connection.

Barbara53

Lisa13Q said:

Thanks all you guys
I think she's doing ok.... Her spirits are amazing. I think she's handling this all better than me. I think my question was probably not answerable. I was hoping her disomfort in the abdoment meant that she could feel the cancer cells dying. Kind of like, it itches when a sore heals. I'm kind of reaching for anything to signal that the chemo is working. I think it's probably crazy but...I'll take anything for hope. She has round 2 next wednesday and I fly out to see her Saturday after my check up. Thank you all for responding. I can't believe how much I count on this board for connection.

Don't be afraid
Lisa, I've just read your threads and wanted to chime in as a fellow caregiver. My soon-to-be 79 year old mother was III-c in January, underwent successful debulking surgery followed by a full course of chemo. I flew down and took care of her for the lowest dips in each cycle, and just got back from helping with some new complications.

About the only thing you might want to add to your kit are Lemonhead lemon drops. They really cut the metallic taste. My mother enjoyed reading the Phillip Gulley books, which are really cute and funny, and she loved a little book I found called "When God and Cancer Meet". Also, if your mom loses her hair, the little sleep caps at headcovers.com are great. Ditto on their fake bangs!

But what I really wanted to respond to is your "what will I do if we lose her?" question. You can't lose your mother, sweetie. It can't be done. But what you can do is this: imagine the excitement and tenderness she felt when she had you. She and her family and friends spent months celebrating your arrival in the world. To me, spending a few months celebrating the end of my mother's life -- by being there and by doing all the little thoughtful things you are doing right now -- feels like a weirdly wonderful reverse pregnancy. There is much to gain for everyone.

Sorry if this should have gone in caregivers, but we're all in this together, no?

arbor3

YOUR MOM
Hi Lisa

When I was first dx and after my first chemo treatment before my surgery, I had pain where the cancer was all through my stomach and female organ areas. The Dr put me on vicodin.
He also told me that the pain was from the chemo working on the cancer. My ovarian tumor had shrunk by the time they did surgery 2 sessions of chemo later.
So great your moms spirits are up, just hang in there.

My thoughts are with you and your mom.

HUGS!!!!!!!Dinora

Lisa13Q

arbor3 said:

YOUR MOM
Hi Lisa

When I was first dx and after my first chemo treatment before my surgery, I had pain where the cancer was all through my stomach and female organ areas. The Dr put me on vicodin.
He also told me that the pain was from the chemo working on the cancer. My ovarian tumor had shrunk by the time they did surgery 2 sessions of chemo later.
So great your moms spirits are up, just hang in there.

My thoughts are with you and your mom.

HUGS!!!!!!!Dinora

Thanks to Arbor
Thank you for that feedback, that's what I was hoping. It made sense to me that it would be sore if tumors were being destroyed, but wasn't sure...Thanks for the feedback. I'll let you all know where she's at after her 3 chemos....

Lisa13Q

Barbara53 said:

Don't be afraid
Lisa, I've just read your threads and wanted to chime in as a fellow caregiver. My soon-to-be 79 year old mother was III-c in January, underwent successful debulking surgery followed by a full course of chemo. I flew down and took care of her for the lowest dips in each cycle, and just got back from helping with some new complications.

About the only thing you might want to add to your kit are Lemonhead lemon drops. They really cut the metallic taste. My mother enjoyed reading the Phillip Gulley books, which are really cute and funny, and she loved a little book I found called "When God and Cancer Meet". Also, if your mom loses her hair, the little sleep caps at headcovers.com are great. Ditto on their fake bangs!

But what I really wanted to respond to is your "what will I do if we lose her?" question. You can't lose your mother, sweetie. It can't be done. But what you can do is this: imagine the excitement and tenderness she felt when she had you. She and her family and friends spent months celebrating your arrival in the world. To me, spending a few months celebrating the end of my mother's life -- by being there and by doing all the little thoughtful things you are doing right now -- feels like a weirdly wonderful reverse pregnancy. There is much to gain for everyone.

Sorry if this should have gone in caregivers, but we're all in this together, no?

To Barbara53
HI Barbara, thank you for such a beautiful response. I went to the website today and purchased 2 night caps for my mother in her favorite colors and will get her the book. We already sent her the full 3 years of SOAP, her favorite TV show, for when she is tired and just wants to stay in bed!! Her Attitude is great and you;re right, I can't lose her. I think, at some point I will come to more peace about all this. This board helps so much..The women here are wonderful!!

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