How do you all do it?

Sonia32

Hello my semi colon family,

Just a ramble here, feeling a bit low today. You all know I suffer from depression and panic attacks started after the cancer, had depression before but was recovering from it. I have a supportive husband, family and friends. I am going to get counselling for the panic attacks etc and the cancer. I have my faith as well in the man upstairs.
I admire the likes of Lisa42, Donna, Phil, Craig, Eric,Diane, kathim heck all of you, you have so much going on yet you still find time to counsel others
I just wonder how you all cope, currently my mind wonders I think if I cough up phlegm, get a headache, have side pains, liver enzymes up (possibly be down by Monday next chemo touch wood) that the big C has spread. Feel like I'm going mad. I think it's being made worse by mu mum who passed from cancer two years ago on the 28/8/07, 10 days after I got married from breast cancer. I know you all have your down days I'm just wondering how you cope when you get thoughts like these passing through
Hugs
Sonia

PhillieG

Hi Sonia
I also admire everyone you've mentioned and some you did not. There is an awful lot of support here. I feel it's my obligation to help others, I've wondered at times if this is part of why I have it in the first place, who knows.

How I cope is by seeing a therapist where I seem to discuss cancer less and less and just am dealing with other life issues. I do go through phases though where I've got cancer on my mind 24/7. It does change EVERYTHING FOREVER. That's not necessarily a bad thing, it just changes things. You make of it what you choose to make of it. I find giving back helps me understand my own situation better, I also see that others have it worse off than I do. Sure, I've lived with cancer a long time but so far I've been spared many things that would make it even worse. I also take an anti depressant and anti anxiety medication. They both help. Others may choose to take nothing. I feel these are available for me for this reason. I have a strong family support although it's sort of become less of a big deal and the main time it's an issue is when I go for surgery otherwise it's just a "normal" day for us all.

I think coping is a state of mind. Also, what are my options? Accept it and deal with it or feel sorry for myself and be in denial. I really do have down days and often coming here and "helping" breaks me out of it. I also enjoy the "new-ish" section "Spirituality, Prayer, and Meditation". It's a great diversion form talking about cancer and it's interesting to read what people think on a variety of topics. I'm very happy the CSN created that forum for us, it's a good place to talk about one's experiences and to learn from others. Other times I stay away and mope. We all get those days too. We don't do anything you can't do Sonia. This stuff is 90% attitude I believe.
-phil

dianetavegia

)
Thanks for the kind words, Sonia.

The update I posted on Daily Strength best explains how I am able to deal with this.

Big hugs to you, my little 'sister'.

Diane

eric38

dianetavegia said:

)
Thanks for the kind words, Sonia.

The update I posted on Daily Strength best explains how I am able to deal with this.

Big hugs to you, my little 'sister'.

Diane

Peace
Helping others is one of the greatest joys in life and actually helps to make you feel better. There`s nothing more depressing than getting too wrapped up in your own situation. That goes for everything, not just cancer. I do have my days just like all of us do but as Phil says this board does wonders for snapping you out of it. I think I have gotten to the point of acceptance where I choose not to dwell on it. I cannot change it so why spend my every waking moment worried about it? It will only cause me more stress which limits my quality of life. I would rather have a shorter life with better quality than a long life of worries and misery. I do not take anti depressants but still have a pretty positive attitude. There have been many discussions on religion and everybody has their own way of coping. As for me, I am a christian and have prayed to God for peace and I believe he gave it to me. That has helped more than anything. This board is also a great source of comfort and remains a wonderful support system for me. Everybody is different but I hope and pray that you will find your peace.

Patteee

eric38 said:

Peace
Helping others is one of the greatest joys in life and actually helps to make you feel better. There`s nothing more depressing than getting too wrapped up in your own situation. That goes for everything, not just cancer. I do have my days just like all of us do but as Phil says this board does wonders for snapping you out of it. I think I have gotten to the point of acceptance where I choose not to dwell on it. I cannot change it so why spend my every waking moment worried about it? It will only cause me more stress which limits my quality of life. I would rather have a shorter life with better quality than a long life of worries and misery. I do not take anti depressants but still have a pretty positive attitude. There have been many discussions on religion and everybody has their own way of coping. As for me, I am a christian and have prayed to God for peace and I believe he gave it to me. That has helped more than anything. This board is also a great source of comfort and remains a wonderful support system for me. Everybody is different but I hope and pray that you will find your peace.

thanks Eric

thanks Eric

Sundanceh

Thank you Sonia
Sonia

How's the world Across the Big Pond?

First, let me say thank you for your encouragement and support, I appreciate your kind words.

As my journey enters it's 6th year, I ask myself that still sometimes. What's the answer? That's not an easy question and certainly no single answer.

My course is somewhat different with everyone's in the fact that I've had very little family or friend support of any real meaning and my wife has worked night's all during my cancer battle, so I had to learn how to cope with being alone. Keeping one's sanity when you have nobody to reach out to will break the lesser individual, but I've been used to not having anyone around, so you just do what you have to do to get by.

I've had alot of heartache in my life - my sister was murdered when she was graduating high school, my uncle committed suicide, we've been hit by an F3 tornado, and now have had Cancer twice and waiting on confirmation for a third time. PAIN, TRAGEDY, and HEARTACHE are my first, middle, and last name. That's enough for anyone in their lifetime, but instead we've had the tornado and the Cancer(s) in just this decade alone 2000-2009

I am a survivor by nature, because I've had to be if I was going to live - my parents divoreced when I was about 13, so I grew up on my own as the new family was not quite all that. I worked as soon as I turned 15 to get out of the house....and it's been a hard road ever since.

I echo what Phil and Eric said - I mean I can either deal with the cards on the table, or I can go lay down and give up. Again, it's just not in my nature to quit.

What helps me is the hope that I will get ahead of this thing, at least for awhile, so I can continue to learn the lessons I need to on this Earth.

I have found the board to be quite comforting and I've found the biggest thing to me, is to FORGET about my problems and worries, and instead focus my energies on you and the others that may need my help or may get some benefit out of something I might say.

I feel that I am here for a reason and since I joined the board, I found my purpose and my reason to keep on living. I feel like I know all of you even though we have not met. Already the relationships here to me are more meaningful than the others I have in my life.

I sure have my times too, I think it's only natural, but I don't stay down too long and I'm going to give it everything I got - and then I'm going to live and tell you about it!

It makes me feel good to be of some use to somebody - to mean something to somebody, you know?

I heard your hurtin' all across The Big Pond, and I'm sorry I'm late getting back to you.

I actually decided to live today and we got to the brand new Dallas Cowboys football stadium and look around down there - and it was FREE admission and parking - it was a wonderful day.

Hang in there Sonia...let me know if I can help...always got time for you.

I hope this helped and thank you for thinking of me with such high praise - the dessert on top of a really nice day for me.

My best to you from the Heart of Texas Across the Big Pond to You

-Craig

sheri22

Sonia
Sonia
Sory to hear all you are going thru , I get my moments too, I do take zoloft and try to stay busy and not think about ca, of course chemo days I know it is there I have the attitude if my Dr isnt worried about something in my blood work neither am I but I am lucky and blessed I have a Dr and the one upstairs who I trust bothe. Try to have hobbies and
dont let the ca ruin your life life is too short anybody can go from anything we just have to enjoy and cherish every day the best we can. I hope you have a better day tommorrow we have been there and we all need to vent sometimes venting is healthy too

take care and good luck

Sheri22

Patteee

Sundanceh said:

Thank you Sonia
Sonia

How's the world Across the Big Pond?

First, let me say thank you for your encouragement and support, I appreciate your kind words.

As my journey enters it's 6th year, I ask myself that still sometimes. What's the answer? That's not an easy question and certainly no single answer.

My course is somewhat different with everyone's in the fact that I've had very little family or friend support of any real meaning and my wife has worked night's all during my cancer battle, so I had to learn how to cope with being alone. Keeping one's sanity when you have nobody to reach out to will break the lesser individual, but I've been used to not having anyone around, so you just do what you have to do to get by.

I've had alot of heartache in my life - my sister was murdered when she was graduating high school, my uncle committed suicide, we've been hit by an F3 tornado, and now have had Cancer twice and waiting on confirmation for a third time. PAIN, TRAGEDY, and HEARTACHE are my first, middle, and last name. That's enough for anyone in their lifetime, but instead we've had the tornado and the Cancer(s) in just this decade alone 2000-2009

I am a survivor by nature, because I've had to be if I was going to live - my parents divoreced when I was about 13, so I grew up on my own as the new family was not quite all that. I worked as soon as I turned 15 to get out of the house....and it's been a hard road ever since.

I echo what Phil and Eric said - I mean I can either deal with the cards on the table, or I can go lay down and give up. Again, it's just not in my nature to quit.

What helps me is the hope that I will get ahead of this thing, at least for awhile, so I can continue to learn the lessons I need to on this Earth.

I have found the board to be quite comforting and I've found the biggest thing to me, is to FORGET about my problems and worries, and instead focus my energies on you and the others that may need my help or may get some benefit out of something I might say.

I feel that I am here for a reason and since I joined the board, I found my purpose and my reason to keep on living. I feel like I know all of you even though we have not met. Already the relationships here to me are more meaningful than the others I have in my life.

I sure have my times too, I think it's only natural, but I don't stay down too long and I'm going to give it everything I got - and then I'm going to live and tell you about it!

It makes me feel good to be of some use to somebody - to mean something to somebody, you know?

I heard your hurtin' all across The Big Pond, and I'm sorry I'm late getting back to you.

I actually decided to live today and we got to the brand new Dallas Cowboys football stadium and look around down there - and it was FREE admission and parking - it was a wonderful day.

Hang in there Sonia...let me know if I can help...always got time for you.

I hope this helped and thank you for thinking of me with such high praise - the dessert on top of a really nice day for me.

My best to you from the Heart of Texas Across the Big Pond to You

-Craig

great post
thanks craig

great post
thanks craig

tootsie1

It's natural, Sonia
Hi, Sonia.

Believe me, we all understand your feelings. Even the most positive people on this board have their days. It's human.

I have my faith and family to help me through the bad times, and this "family" here is wonderful, as well. Also, my doctor reminded me gently one time that I should be careful to do things that didn't involve cancer. He's a member of my church and is very aware of all my work with Relay for Life. As he told me, that work is fabulous and much needed, but I have to be sure not to make that the whole focus of my life. I've taken that to heart, and I'm trying to do lots of things that make me happy.

*hugs*
Gail

ldot123

tootsie1 said:

It's natural, Sonia
Hi, Sonia.

Believe me, we all understand your feelings. Even the most positive people on this board have their days. It's human.

I have my faith and family to help me through the bad times, and this "family" here is wonderful, as well. Also, my doctor reminded me gently one time that I should be careful to do things that didn't involve cancer. He's a member of my church and is very aware of all my work with Relay for Life. As he told me, that work is fabulous and much needed, but I have to be sure not to make that the whole focus of my life. I've taken that to heart, and I'm trying to do lots of things that make me happy.

*hugs*
Gail

Without a doubt
Hi,
Every one of us goes through a panic situation on any given day. It could be a strange ache or pain or just feeling run down. Totally normal! There is always that uncertainty that is all part of the cancer survivors lot. This discussion board has been a HUGE help to me in the past and continues to be through this journey. I am now a two time cancer survivor so it does wear you down but darn it - I will continue on and not let this beast get the better of me physically of psychologically. We are all with you.

Cheers, Lance

lisa42

getting through it all
Hi Sonia,

Your feelings certainly are natural and normal in dealing with cancer and other difficult life situations. Personally, I have the need to always reach out to others. Anytime I'm feeling really down, I do seek out others- whether it be just by email, telephone, or in person. It's of course, important to pick who you surround yourself with wisely, too. Somedays, if my husband is down, I need the comfort of a more upbeat friend, etc.

My faith gets me through- I believe that the Lord sustains me- maybe not always physically as I would like, but in knowing where my joy and strength comes from. That's a hard one to explain to someone else, actually.

Just make sure you seek out the company of others who will lift you up and support you. Hopefully you have individuals nearby who will do that for you. If not, then seeking out a support group might be a very good idea for you. I know just coming onto this board does a lot for me, as well! I'm glad you're here now and that we can try to be of help and support to you.

Take care-
Lisa