Blood tests, CT scan

krystle singer

I am having a blood test this week and on the 17th a CT scan of my kidneys. Then a few days later see my onc. I have felt pretty good since last lab work, but this whole CT thing is really beginning to scare me all over again. I know I have to b e checked on a regular basis, but I feel as if the ax is hanging over me all the time! As much as I try to be p0ositive and cheerful with everyone, I always have a little cold spot somewhere in my stomach about tests. All of you are such inspirations to me. I suspect I am not as brave as I should be, sorry! You are all so positive and helpful and compassionate!

Thanks for 'listening'.

Sandi

Sundanceh

Tests and such...
Sandi

It's the g i f t that keeps on giving, isn't it? It's funny how we put it out of or mind as much as we can, but when the days draw near, we go into that shell and just think the worst.

You know what it is, don't you? We hate it so bad that we just want for the onc to tell us we're ok, or unchanged and see ya' in 3-6 more months - and then we get outta' there.

But as I've often said - we've all got to walk the walk. I think those feelings and fears will always be with each one of us - once we're touched, it's hard to not think about it.

I go in for a CT next Wednesday and then meet with the onc. My gut tells me they are going to confirm the Cancer for the 3rd time. At that point, a surgery would then be in my forecast, but first would have to meet with the thorasic surgeon to go over the plan.

So, yes, I know what you mean...you are brave too...I saw you kinda' down and thought I would touch base with you, before I get off line and do something for the evening.

Isn't it great that whenever you feel blue or need to talk, there is always one of us "at home." Such a beautiful thing...

All the best
-Craig

Julie 44

Sundanceh said:

Tests and such...
Sandi

It's the g i f t that keeps on giving, isn't it? It's funny how we put it out of or mind as much as we can, but when the days draw near, we go into that shell and just think the worst.

You know what it is, don't you? We hate it so bad that we just want for the onc to tell us we're ok, or unchanged and see ya' in 3-6 more months - and then we get outta' there.

But as I've often said - we've all got to walk the walk. I think those feelings and fears will always be with each one of us - once we're touched, it's hard to not think about it.

I go in for a CT next Wednesday and then meet with the onc. My gut tells me they are going to confirm the Cancer for the 3rd time. At that point, a surgery would then be in my forecast, but first would have to meet with the thorasic surgeon to go over the plan.

So, yes, I know what you mean...you are brave too...I saw you kinda' down and thought I would touch base with you, before I get off line and do something for the evening.

Isn't it great that whenever you feel blue or need to talk, there is always one of us "at home." Such a beautiful thing...

All the best
-Craig

Same here
Sandi,
I think we all feel the same way here.....It will always hang over our heads the what ifs......I know because I am having surgery on the 17th for a double hernia and gallbladder..I am soooo scared they will find more cancer when they open me up..Even though my CEA test came back ok...But the point is that the thought is Always there and I am 4 months NED...So I guess we all just grin and bare it and see what happens..... Good luck to you........................JULIE

luv3jay

I hear ya!
I understand exactly where you are coming from. I tried my best to be positive at my last scan, only to find 3 new lung nodules. UGH! I pray your results will be better! I think its normal for us to have scanxiety...probably always will.

eric38

luv3jay said:

I hear ya!
I understand exactly where you are coming from. I tried my best to be positive at my last scan, only to find 3 new lung nodules. UGH! I pray your results will be better! I think its normal for us to have scanxiety...probably always will.

Brave
That does not make you unbrave, it makes you normal. Even for those of us who keep a positive attitude we have the same concerns and anxieties too. The only difference for me is that I try to keep it in the back of my mind and not the forefront. Besides what you see in type is not always the full story. It is true that there are some of us that stay a little more positive but we do not always come in here and share our darkest days. Most of the time I am very positive but we all have our days when we cry alone or feel scared. Cancer is not an easy thing for anybody. Humor and my religious beliefs is how I handle mine. Joking about it makes me feel better but it does not mean I am not affected by it. Don`t ever think for one minute that you are not brave because you are scared. You are brave because you carry on in spite of being scared. I hope everything turns out well for you.

Eric

mommyof2kds

HI Sandi, I think that it
HI Sandi, I think that it will always be on our mind, some days 24/7 and other days just a thought here and there. I don't think we will ever be able to be free of the fear.. I know it is not very comforting, but we need to just fight it.. I have good days and bad days as I am sure we all do, it is not easy. I wonder myself how do you continue to go on when you always have this thought in your mind saying what if.. I am trying one day at a time right now, and that is working. I hope you find your strength that you have within you to beat this and to feel like you are not alone... Petrina

krystle singer

Thank you ALL!
I am so grateful to everyone who responded! I know that I am not alone and that really helps.
'Special thanks to Craig, Julie, Luv3jay, Eric and Mommy for the encouraging words. You are right about being brave. I just gotta do what I gotta do. For those of you who are facing surgery and have fears, I have you on my speed dial to God. The rest are never forgotten either. Ain't it a good thing that there is no charge for direct dialing to the Almighty?

Many thanks, hugs and love to all of you,
Sandi

Annabelle41415

Anxiety
Well if my mom and dad didn't name my middle name something else, it would be "worry." I just am that type of person. Although I do try to put it behind me most of the time, there are times when that is all I think about and I hate it. We are all scared and sometimes some days more than others. You are a brave person just going through what you are going through and look to yourself as inspirational. I believe anyone who has to deal with a scary disease such as cancer, ALS, MS, etc. all earn a badge of courage and bravery. You aren't giving up or in but how you think, you are being human.

Kim