sitting in chat

tjhay

ok i am in chat all by myself again someone come join me

lynn1950

Snoring in Bed
Had I been up and seen your post, I would have come chat with you. xoxoxo Lynn (former night owl)

guitarmom2

lynn1950 said:

Snoring in Bed
Had I been up and seen your post, I would have come chat with you. xoxoxo Lynn (former night owl)

Can't sleep, mornings are the worst.
I had bilat. mastectomies on 7/23/09. Clean margins, Clean lymph nodes. I am starting reconstruction. I work in a school, so I am off for the month of August. I know I have a lot to be thankful for, but I can't sleep and am a wreak every morning. Muscle relaxants and sleeping pills don't make a bit of difference. I've tried taking walks to expend energy, but no change. Fortunately my kids sleep late so they miss this morning sob-fest. My husband is doing double time becuase I can't do much around the house yet and he is exhausted. I feel guilty for even feelign sorry for myself.

tjhay

guitarmom2 said:

Can't sleep, mornings are the worst.
I had bilat. mastectomies on 7/23/09. Clean margins, Clean lymph nodes. I am starting reconstruction. I work in a school, so I am off for the month of August. I know I have a lot to be thankful for, but I can't sleep and am a wreak every morning. Muscle relaxants and sleeping pills don't make a bit of difference. I've tried taking walks to expend energy, but no change. Fortunately my kids sleep late so they miss this morning sob-fest. My husband is doing double time becuase I can't do much around the house yet and he is exhausted. I feel guilty for even feelign sorry for myself.

Guitarmom2
My heart goes out to you, welcome to a wonderful world of sisters in pink, we are all sorry that you had to join us, but we are happy that you have found us.
tjhay

rjjj

guitarmom2 said:

Can't sleep, mornings are the worst.
I had bilat. mastectomies on 7/23/09. Clean margins, Clean lymph nodes. I am starting reconstruction. I work in a school, so I am off for the month of August. I know I have a lot to be thankful for, but I can't sleep and am a wreak every morning. Muscle relaxants and sleeping pills don't make a bit of difference. I've tried taking walks to expend energy, but no change. Fortunately my kids sleep late so they miss this morning sob-fest. My husband is doing double time becuase I can't do much around the house yet and he is exhausted. I feel guilty for even feelign sorry for myself.

Welcome guitarmom
I am sorry you are having trouble sleeping, I remember I had a hard time at first also. Maybe you could talk to your doctor and try something else if your present meds aren't working for you.

Please don't feel guilty for any of the feelings you may have, you are entitled to each and every one. Keep coming here because we really do "get it" and will be here for you.
Hugs, jackie

Christmas Girl

guitarmom2 said:

Can't sleep, mornings are the worst.
I had bilat. mastectomies on 7/23/09. Clean margins, Clean lymph nodes. I am starting reconstruction. I work in a school, so I am off for the month of August. I know I have a lot to be thankful for, but I can't sleep and am a wreak every morning. Muscle relaxants and sleeping pills don't make a bit of difference. I've tried taking walks to expend energy, but no change. Fortunately my kids sleep late so they miss this morning sob-fest. My husband is doing double time becuase I can't do much around the house yet and he is exhausted. I feel guilty for even feelign sorry for myself.

Welcome, guitarmom2
Glad you found us, though regretful for the reason. Really good news coming out of your surgery. Suggest you contact your doctor, and honestly share your feelings. If the meds you currently have aren't helpful, there are other options that might be. Sleep/rest are very important for healing.

For gosh sakes - it's OK to feel sorry for yourself! You're a brand new cancer survivor, after all. It's a dreadful and frightening disease. And, please don't feel guilty about your need to recover - your surgery was extremely invasive. If your husband is totally exhausted - you both need to ask others for some help. Family, friends, neighbors... People are often glad to, they just don't know what needs to be done.

Best wishes to you.

guitarmom2

Christmas Girl said:

Welcome, guitarmom2
Glad you found us, though regretful for the reason. Really good news coming out of your surgery. Suggest you contact your doctor, and honestly share your feelings. If the meds you currently have aren't helpful, there are other options that might be. Sleep/rest are very important for healing.

For gosh sakes - it's OK to feel sorry for yourself! You're a brand new cancer survivor, after all. It's a dreadful and frightening disease. And, please don't feel guilty about your need to recover - your surgery was extremely invasive. If your husband is totally exhausted - you both need to ask others for some help. Family, friends, neighbors... People are often glad to, they just don't know what needs to be done.

Best wishes to you.

Thanks, I really mean that.
Of course it is morning and I am crying at the computer again. Slept a little better last night with 2 tylenol PM. Apparently I moved to the office bed at some point and woke up having no idea where I was. A little scary, then I was able to laugh at myself. I have to get my act together since I have friends visiting me soon and I haven't showered. Need to wake the kids. Today was thie first day since I went to the hospital that my dog didn't pee in the house. He's very bonded to me, but causing my husband a great deal of stress. He wouldn't pee on walks with the family (he usually does), so I have been walking along side them. Amazing how cancer can screw up even the littlest things in your life.

My chest is so tight I imagine because of the expanders. I am doing the stretches my doc recommended several times a day. I see him on Friday for my first post surgical expansion. I do not see how there is room for any more since I am already so tight. Scars are pretty big and raised. I have to ask if I can do anything to flatten them.

Tried to find a support group in my town. There is one, but it meets in the middle of the day and I will soon be back at work, so that isn't really helpful. I'm glad to have found you guys. Thank you again for the warm welcome. I hope in time I can be a support for you too.

guitarmom2

guitarmom2 said:

Thanks, I really mean that.
Of course it is morning and I am crying at the computer again. Slept a little better last night with 2 tylenol PM. Apparently I moved to the office bed at some point and woke up having no idea where I was. A little scary, then I was able to laugh at myself. I have to get my act together since I have friends visiting me soon and I haven't showered. Need to wake the kids. Today was thie first day since I went to the hospital that my dog didn't pee in the house. He's very bonded to me, but causing my husband a great deal of stress. He wouldn't pee on walks with the family (he usually does), so I have been walking along side them. Amazing how cancer can screw up even the littlest things in your life.

My chest is so tight I imagine because of the expanders. I am doing the stretches my doc recommended several times a day. I see him on Friday for my first post surgical expansion. I do not see how there is room for any more since I am already so tight. Scars are pretty big and raised. I have to ask if I can do anything to flatten them.

Tried to find a support group in my town. There is one, but it meets in the middle of the day and I will soon be back at work, so that isn't really helpful. I'm glad to have found you guys. Thank you again for the warm welcome. I hope in time I can be a support for you too.

Slept last night!
Last night was the most sleep I have gotten in the past two weeks since surgery. 2 tylenol pm at 10 were key. My poor husband slept on the couch even though both kids were at sleepovers and there were two comfy beds available. No crying yet this morning! The purple marker is almost all washed off so my "breasts" are looking a little less shocking to me. I (and the doctors and nurses) are still the only ones who have seen them so far and that's okay. I really look forward to October when these expanders are taken out. I hope everyone is having a good day so far.

Tux

slept last night
Glad to hear that last night went better for you! I too have had trouble sleeping since bc diagnosis & surgery July 20. I work at a school, also. We are just working part-time now to get everything ready, but in about 10 days school will be starting. Last night I contacted a teacher who retired last year & is an 11-year survivor. He said he would be willing to come in to sub for me when needed, so that is a relief. One thing I have learned from this disease so far is to ask for help.

Hope you are continuing to get rest at night.

guitarmom2

Tux said:

slept last night
Glad to hear that last night went better for you! I too have had trouble sleeping since bc diagnosis & surgery July 20. I work at a school, also. We are just working part-time now to get everything ready, but in about 10 days school will be starting. Last night I contacted a teacher who retired last year & is an 11-year survivor. He said he would be willing to come in to sub for me when needed, so that is a relief. One thing I have learned from this disease so far is to ask for help.

Hope you are continuing to get rest at night.

Glad to hear you have a sub available.
Wow, Tux, only 10 days until school? I'm glad you have some one that you can rely on to sub if needed. We start on 9/1, so I have a little more time to recoup. My principal's mother had breast cancer and at the end of summer school he told me not to worry if I need time for whatever, he understands. My superintendent has been through three employees wtih bc (me beign the third) and is very understanding. I'm looking forward to the distraction of being back at work, but am wary of not having enough endurance. Time will tell for both of us. I'm sure we'll get there. We made it through surgery, right?

I went out to lunch with a friend today which was great, but it was very hard to find a shirt to wear that didn't look weird. Since I'm getting reconstruction, I don't know how big I will be at the end, so I hesitate to buy anything. Right now I am an A, but the doc said I may end up a large B or small C. I was a small B at the start. He said the final size will depend on when my breast contours looks normal. I always thought I would tell him what size I wanted to be. Live and learn.

Bella Luna

I would have joined you in
I would have joined you in chat too. Just signed up today. Have a good one!

mmontero38

Now,had I been awake I might
Now,had I been awake I might have joined you but I was in bed by 12:00. I might see you there later tonight. LOL. Hugs, Lili

DianeBC

mmontero38 said:

Now,had I been awake I might
Now,had I been awake I might have joined you but I was in bed by 12:00. I might see you there later tonight. LOL. Hugs, Lili

Chat is always a game to me.
Chat is always a game to me. Can I get in or not? lol

I just wish they would fix it.

guitarmom2

DianeBC said:

Chat is always a game to me.
Chat is always a game to me. Can I get in or not? lol

I just wish they would fix it.

I added this chat to favorites but...
I click on it and it doesn't bring me here. I have enough stress right now without the suppot group evading me! I tried taking only one tylenol pm last night (I hate pills) but was up all night again. I guess I'm not ready to go on just one. Doc said I can start exercising on Monday. Maybe that will help me sleep. I love to exercise and have missed it. I needed it to manage anxiety even before I had cancer, so I need it even more now.
I really want to give my 10 year old daughter a REAL hug. She and I keep trying to hug and b/c of my chest soreness, I have to so these unsatisfying "side" hugs. I try to stay positive but it hurts like hell (inside) because I feel like she needs that physical reassurance and no matter what I say or do this I can not give her. She is being very sweet trying to "mommy" me. I know in the "big" picture I did this surgery so that she will have her mom around for many years and many hugs. I am having a moment of self pity. Sorry guys. It's always the worst when I didn't sleep. Can you be strong and weak a the same time?

cats_toy

guitarmom2 said:

I added this chat to favorites but...
I click on it and it doesn't bring me here. I have enough stress right now without the suppot group evading me! I tried taking only one tylenol pm last night (I hate pills) but was up all night again. I guess I'm not ready to go on just one. Doc said I can start exercising on Monday. Maybe that will help me sleep. I love to exercise and have missed it. I needed it to manage anxiety even before I had cancer, so I need it even more now.
I really want to give my 10 year old daughter a REAL hug. She and I keep trying to hug and b/c of my chest soreness, I have to so these unsatisfying "side" hugs. I try to stay positive but it hurts like hell (inside) because I feel like she needs that physical reassurance and no matter what I say or do this I can not give her. She is being very sweet trying to "mommy" me. I know in the "big" picture I did this surgery so that she will have her mom around for many years and many hugs. I am having a moment of self pity. Sorry guys. It's always the worst when I didn't sleep. Can you be strong and weak a the same time?

guitarmom2
of course you can be strong and weak at the same time, you are a survivor! and the weak isn't really weak, it's just a down moment, and it will pass.
Don't think anyone here would ever try to avoid a post of yours, what you should do is start your own, you will get all the support we are able to send your way!
I know the hugging hurts to begin with, but a sideways hug is better than no hug, right?
Hang in there
Cat