recurrence fear/does anyone else do this

ohilly

No that I'm a little more than a year out from chemo, I noticed I am becoming obsessed with recurrence. I had mastectomies and reconstruction, and I find myself becoming obsessed with any little bump or irregularity in my skin, no matter how small, and then I can't remember if this was always there (the irregularity or bump) or it's something new. I was just checked by my oncologist a few weeks ago who said I was fine, but I worry constantly and am obsessed with checking my fake breasts.

Anyone else do this?

Ohilly

djteach

Hi Ohilly,
I'm sure that
Hi Ohilly,

I'm sure that some people overreact for a while, until they see that everything is going to be great again. I would recommend a social worker or therapist that specializes in breast cancer. If you feel that you are obsessing with your hypervigilance and it is affecting your quality of life, then get help. If you just check a couple of times a week, don't worry, if you are checking more than several times a day, every day, seek help. You're not crazy, you are scared and a good therapist will be able to help you very quickly.

Remember, you're not in this alone. Let us know what you decide.

Love and gentle hugs,
Donna

outdoorgirl

I think
that recurrence is in the back of everyone's mind because we know that it's a possibility.
I check myself about 2x a month (I could be wrong,but I don't think there would be that much or as fast a change in between that time).I had cancer in my left breast and my right breast is very cystic so I do worry about that one sometimes with all the little bumps it has.

Marcia527

I was like that at first.
I was like that at first. Just knew it was coming back. You are supposed to know your body and if something new appears have a doctor check it. So it's not a bad thing to check regularly. Just don't obsess over it.

lolad

Marcia527 said:

I was like that at first.
I was like that at first. Just knew it was coming back. You are supposed to know your body and if something new appears have a doctor check it. So it's not a bad thing to check regularly. Just don't obsess over it.

Ohilly
I havent even started my chemo yet and i already have the recurrance fear. I start my chemo on tuesday. I think all of us have that fear. Try to be positive. I know its not that easy though. Good luck and hugs!

laura

JCricket

you are not alone
I am also a one year and 7 months survivor of breast cancer. I am also having fears about recurrences. Try your best to be positive. Be with people who gives positive energies rather than those who will give you more fears. What I do is pray. PRAY, PRAY, PRAY. TRUSTING THAT GOD WILL GET ME THROUGH THIS.

jnl

JCricket said:

you are not alone
I am also a one year and 7 months survivor of breast cancer. I am also having fears about recurrences. Try your best to be positive. Be with people who gives positive energies rather than those who will give you more fears. What I do is pray. PRAY, PRAY, PRAY. TRUSTING THAT GOD WILL GET ME THROUGH THIS.

Sorry Ohilly. But, I think
Sorry Ohilly. But, I think we all think of a recurrence or else we are brain dead. But, it doesn't have to rule or ruin your life. Hopefully, it just makes you stay on top of your treatment, your breast exam and anything else that might seem out of the ordinary. But, live your life, don't let it run it.

Hugs, Leeza

Akiss4me

I don't think it will ever go away....
But I think we can learn over time to control it and conquer our fears rather than the other way around. I really can't see that happening to me in this stage of the game (too early) but I have faith that it will happen, because I see so many women that have learned to lay the fear aside. We will get over it, eventually. So hang in there and know that your fear is normal. Pammy

DianeBC

Marcia527 said:

I was like that at first.
I was like that at first. Just knew it was coming back. You are supposed to know your body and if something new appears have a doctor check it. So it's not a bad thing to check regularly. Just don't obsess over it.

We all have to think of it.
We all have to think of it. It isn't possible to not. And, there are so many on here that have had bc come back, once, twice, even three and four times. And, it doesn't seem to matter if you had a lumpectomy or a mastectomy, which the statistics prove makes no difference. You just have to choose to not let it consume you and to be aware of it, but, to try and live a full good life.

And, if it happens, you will fight it like you did the first time!

ritazimm

Akiss4me said:

I don't think it will ever go away....
But I think we can learn over time to control it and conquer our fears rather than the other way around. I really can't see that happening to me in this stage of the game (too early) but I have faith that it will happen, because I see so many women that have learned to lay the fear aside. We will get over it, eventually. So hang in there and know that your fear is normal. Pammy

Same boat
I'm on the same boat O'hilly. It isn't obsessive but I do have the fleeting thoughts with every new ache or pain. It is hard since there really aren't any specific signs to watch for but there is no assurance that it won't return either. I've told my husband that I 'just have this feeling that it will be back' but I refuse to let it run my life, whether it does or does not return. Although I don't ever want to be blindsided by cancer again, I refuse to live in fear and let cancer define my life and who I am.

I know this doesn't help you to stop worrying, but just know that you are not alone and I hope and pray that with time, you will be able to find peace.

You are in my prayers O'hilly.
Rita

lynn1950

same fear
Ohilly, like others have posted, you are not alone. I check my scars (I had a bilateral and am as flat as a pancake) and did find two little lumps a while back. They were removed under local anesthetic. My surgeon showed the lumps to me; they turned out to be benign (scar tissue where lymph nodes had been removed). So now I have a NEW little scar to check. I probably check once a week or so. It's pretty random. xoxoxo Lynn

cats_toy

Perfectly normal
Ohilly, how can we not worry about every little bump that appears? Also the moles I already have worry me. I told my gp about them and she said no problem, we remove them and test them, then you will not need to worry about them again. Voice your concerns, the docs will understand.
The main reason I am having the reconstruction is to remove the lumps that appeared below my scar, they all said it was scar tissue from rads, but it is there, it hurts, and it will always make me think about it until it is gone.
Now being normal in any other way, I really won't comment...he he

=^..^=

arbojenn

It's good to be obsessed in
It's good to be obsessed in that you keep an eye on things and that way will catch a recurrence early. I have a recurrence after ten years and my prognosis is great! Why? Because I was on the onlook just in case and caught it early. I think the best way to deal with the anxiety is to ask yourself, okay, what if it DOES come back? Make a plan. You beat it once, you can do it again. Again, though, as with the first time: early detection is important. Imagine is IS back and visualize your reaction and plan of action. That way it won't be so scary. Statistically, chances are good it WON'T come back, but of course, that knowledge doesn't really help with dealing with the fear. Caution: if you have a mastectomy or a reconstructed breast, sometimes the symptoms are excused as scar tissue or necrosis: th e little lumps often appear on the scar line. If what appears to be scar tissue--mine originally looked like suture scars--or thickening occurs after a period of time has passed, be suspicious and demand a biopsy.

lynn1950

arbojenn said:

It's good to be obsessed in
It's good to be obsessed in that you keep an eye on things and that way will catch a recurrence early. I have a recurrence after ten years and my prognosis is great! Why? Because I was on the onlook just in case and caught it early. I think the best way to deal with the anxiety is to ask yourself, okay, what if it DOES come back? Make a plan. You beat it once, you can do it again. Again, though, as with the first time: early detection is important. Imagine is IS back and visualize your reaction and plan of action. That way it won't be so scary. Statistically, chances are good it WON'T come back, but of course, that knowledge doesn't really help with dealing with the fear. Caution: if you have a mastectomy or a reconstructed breast, sometimes the symptoms are excused as scar tissue or necrosis: th e little lumps often appear on the scar line. If what appears to be scar tissue--mine originally looked like suture scars--or thickening occurs after a period of time has passed, be suspicious and demand a biopsy.

I was OFFERRED a biopsy
I brought my little scar line lumps to the attention of my onc and he headed me straight to my surgeon who immediately removed them...(and showed them to me)and....(drumroll)...they were benign. What a relief. "Vigilance!" ss Mad Eye Moody would say.

susie09

Ohilly, I thought you were
Ohilly, I thought you were on Lexapro and it was helping you. Maybe, you need to change to something else. We all worry about this, but, just don't let it take over your life! Live your life, free of the beast!

Kylez

I don't check my boobies
I don't check my boobies constantly, but, I do check them monthly, which I am suppose to do. And, I see my oncologist and radiation oncologist monthly, so, they check them too. I know a recurrence can happen, but, I don't worry about it. If it does, it does.

outdoorgirl

Kylez said:

I don't check my boobies
I don't check my boobies constantly, but, I do check them monthly, which I am suppose to do. And, I see my oncologist and radiation oncologist monthly, so, they check them too. I know a recurrence can happen, but, I don't worry about it. If it does, it does.

Sounds
good to me,Kylez!