O.K. I done it!

tasha_111
tasha_111 Member Posts: 2,072
edited March 2014 in Emotional Support #1
After years of abuse I finally got my own apartment..........In a foreign country.........I am english, I arrived here 6 years ago to be with a canadian...........I loved him sooooooooooo much///////not any more...............he chased that person away..........\anyway..........I'm going to make it alone..........Thanks for all your good wishes.......... hugs Jxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Comments

  • MichelleP
    MichelleP Member Posts: 254
    #2
    I wish you nothing but
    I wish you nothing but happiness and finally some peace of mind Tasha! No woman deserves to be abused! Keep in touch and let us know how things are going please!
  • terato
    terato Member Posts: 375
    #3
    Way to go, Tasha!
    Being alone can often be a gift! You deserve much happiness and peace of mind after all you have endured. This new life of yours will prove an adventure. You will become much more creative in how you structure your life and wind up being proud of what you will accomplish for yourself.

    Many congratulations!

    Love and Courage!

    Rick
  • Sally08
    Sally08 Member Posts: 46
    #4
    Yay!!
    Congratulations!! :)
    I'm so happy for you!! :D
    That's such a huge deal,
    Awesome!!
    lol
    Sally.
  • tasha_111
    tasha_111 Member Posts: 2,072
    #5
    Sally08 said:

    Yay!!
    Congratulations!! :)
    I'm so happy for you!! :D
    That's such a huge deal,
    Awesome!!
    lol
    Sally.

    Thank you all
    For the encouragement and support......I'll get there, it's just an emotional roller-coaster at the moment.....Thank you all...... Hugs Jxxxxxxxx
  • tiny one
    tiny one Member Posts: 465 Member
    #6
    I'm glad you have your own
    I'm glad you have your own place. No one deserves to live in an abusive situation. It took alot of strength to do what you did. You deserve to be happy and be treated like a queen.
  • slickwilly
    slickwilly Member Posts: 334 Member
    #7
    tiny one said:

    I'm glad you have your own
    I'm glad you have your own place. No one deserves to live in an abusive situation. It took alot of strength to do what you did. You deserve to be happy and be treated like a queen.

    Good for you
    Tasha. What a long and twisted road you have been down. I hope you have found the peace in your life that you deserve. And that includes a toilet that won't fall over and being treated with respect. I know you appreciate the little things in life and will love decorating your own place. Just imagine being in charge of your own T.V. remote control and not having someone switching the channels ha ha. Holy my wife hates that! Best of luck Slickwilly
  • SonSon
    SonSon Member Posts: 174
    #8
    Hip Hip Hooray!
    I don't know you or your story - but any person who walks away from an abusive situation deserves a cheer.
    I was speaking to a religious person about an acquaintance who was having serious marital problems that included physical and mental abuse. I was making the argument for helping her to divorce and his comment was "oh, yes, she could take the easy way out...". BS - leaving is NOT EASY. I've been there and I KNOW.
    So - YOU, Tasha, just remember that YOU are worth the trouble you are going through and that you are a beautiful, intelligent, loving, love-able and deserving person.
    Fatima
  • tasha_111
    tasha_111 Member Posts: 2,072
    #9
    SonSon said:

    Hip Hip Hooray!
    I don't know you or your story - but any person who walks away from an abusive situation deserves a cheer.
    I was speaking to a religious person about an acquaintance who was having serious marital problems that included physical and mental abuse. I was making the argument for helping her to divorce and his comment was "oh, yes, she could take the easy way out...". BS - leaving is NOT EASY. I've been there and I KNOW.
    So - YOU, Tasha, just remember that YOU are worth the trouble you are going through and that you are a beautiful, intelligent, loving, love-able and deserving person.
    Fatima

    SonSon
    Thank you very much, and everyone else who has helped me through this most heartwrenchingly difficult decission. My Ex is laying it on and making this even harder, he has promised me everything under the sun..BUT, he can't turn the clocks back and undo all that has been going on, and saying.."I'm sorry, I was so wrong" Is just too little, too late. He's threatened all sorts, begged, pleaded and promised.....now he is split between compromising and taking to his bed in utter depression. I am in no way a cold hearted person, BUT I can't allow myself to put up with his nastiness anymore, nor should I. My self preservation button has been pushed and that is that!
    I am now looking forward to stage 5........Life without him.
    Maybe your priorities change with a cancer diagnosis, maybe not, mine were forced to change, and I really have all you great STRONG supportive people to thank for your empathy and understanding. You have helped me, not pushed or judged me. I thank you all. Huge Hugs Jxxxxxxxxxxx
  • poopsiegal
    poopsiegal Member Posts: 23
    #10
    tasha_111 said:

    SonSon
    Thank you very much, and everyone else who has helped me through this most heartwrenchingly difficult decission. My Ex is laying it on and making this even harder, he has promised me everything under the sun..BUT, he can't turn the clocks back and undo all that has been going on, and saying.."I'm sorry, I was so wrong" Is just too little, too late. He's threatened all sorts, begged, pleaded and promised.....now he is split between compromising and taking to his bed in utter depression. I am in no way a cold hearted person, BUT I can't allow myself to put up with his nastiness anymore, nor should I. My self preservation button has been pushed and that is that!
    I am now looking forward to stage 5........Life without him.
    Maybe your priorities change with a cancer diagnosis, maybe not, mine were forced to change, and I really have all you great STRONG supportive people to thank for your empathy and understanding. You have helped me, not pushed or judged me. I thank you all. Huge Hugs Jxxxxxxxxxxx

    YOU CAN MAKE IT
    I AM SO PROUD OF YOU U GO GURL YOU HAVE OUR SUPPORT.NOONE DESERVES TO BE ABUSED AND I AM GLAD U GOT THE STRENGTH TO LEAVE.
  • Buzzard
    Buzzard Member Posts: 3,043 Member
    #11
    poopsiegal said:

    YOU CAN MAKE IT
    I AM SO PROUD OF YOU U GO GURL YOU HAVE OUR SUPPORT.NOONE DESERVES TO BE ABUSED AND I AM GLAD U GOT THE STRENGTH TO LEAVE.

    Congratulations..........
    You are an inspiration to a lot of women out there...and Im sure men also...an abusive relationship is one to quickly remove your self from....good job girl.......Good Luck to you.....Clift
  • Shayenne
    Shayenne Member Posts: 2,342
    #12
    Buzzard said:

    Congratulations..........
    You are an inspiration to a lot of women out there...and Im sure men also...an abusive relationship is one to quickly remove your self from....good job girl.......Good Luck to you.....Clift

    You Go Girl!
    I'm very happy to hear that you are out of the arms of an abuser! No one ever has the right to hit someone else! I hope you are very happy where you are, I can feel the empowerment in your post, I'm proud of you!

    Hugsss!
    ~Donna
  • lindaprocopio
    lindaprocopio Member Posts: 1,980 Member
    #13
    Shayenne said:

    You Go Girl!
    I'm very happy to hear that you are out of the arms of an abuser! No one ever has the right to hit someone else! I hope you are very happy where you are, I can feel the empowerment in your post, I'm proud of you!

    Hugsss!
    ~Donna

    Good girl!
    I'm so glad you did this. From your earliest posts when you were getting chemo, suffering his unreasonable demands and pettiness, I always wanted you OUT of there. It's scary and hard to give up that tiny shred of security, even when that security is shaky and comes at such a high price. I'm very proud of you. I know personally what it takes to do what you have just done. ((((((big hug)))))).
  • SonSon
    SonSon Member Posts: 174
    #14
    tasha_111 said:

    SonSon
    Thank you very much, and everyone else who has helped me through this most heartwrenchingly difficult decission. My Ex is laying it on and making this even harder, he has promised me everything under the sun..BUT, he can't turn the clocks back and undo all that has been going on, and saying.."I'm sorry, I was so wrong" Is just too little, too late. He's threatened all sorts, begged, pleaded and promised.....now he is split between compromising and taking to his bed in utter depression. I am in no way a cold hearted person, BUT I can't allow myself to put up with his nastiness anymore, nor should I. My self preservation button has been pushed and that is that!
    I am now looking forward to stage 5........Life without him.
    Maybe your priorities change with a cancer diagnosis, maybe not, mine were forced to change, and I really have all you great STRONG supportive people to thank for your empathy and understanding. You have helped me, not pushed or judged me. I thank you all. Huge Hugs Jxxxxxxxxxxx

    Cycle of Violence
    Do not be fooled by his apologies, begging for forgiveness, promises to never do it again, promises to make things better....
    This is all part of the cycle of violence. Once you let your guard down and give in to his wishes for you to stay it will just keep rolling forward and around and around...
    Many people romanticize this by saying "makeup sex is the best..." - what they are not pointing out, at least not directly, is the fight. Smaller squabbles are pretty normal - fist fights are not. Disagreements that are discussed are normal, total control by one partner at any cost is not.
    Keep moving forward with your self care. Yes, you will think about him and wish you could be with him for the good things he's been for you. But remind yourself soberly of the pain that he's caused you and the behavior that he is unable to change.
    In this cycle you have an abuser and a victim - the only way to break the cycle is to remove one of those factors. Remove the victim and the abuser stops (until he finds some other unsuspecting victim).
    ((((((TASHA))))))) hugs
    Fatima
  • angelsbaby
    angelsbaby Member Posts: 1,165 Member
    #15
    SonSon said:

    Cycle of Violence
    Do not be fooled by his apologies, begging for forgiveness, promises to never do it again, promises to make things better....
    This is all part of the cycle of violence. Once you let your guard down and give in to his wishes for you to stay it will just keep rolling forward and around and around...
    Many people romanticize this by saying "makeup sex is the best..." - what they are not pointing out, at least not directly, is the fight. Smaller squabbles are pretty normal - fist fights are not. Disagreements that are discussed are normal, total control by one partner at any cost is not.
    Keep moving forward with your self care. Yes, you will think about him and wish you could be with him for the good things he's been for you. But remind yourself soberly of the pain that he's caused you and the behavior that he is unable to change.
    In this cycle you have an abuser and a victim - the only way to break the cycle is to remove one of those factors. Remove the victim and the abuser stops (until he finds some other unsuspecting victim).
    ((((((TASHA))))))) hugs
    Fatima

    Good Luck
    On your new journey

    michelle

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