Monday Joke

fauxma
fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
A man calls home to his wife and says, 'Honey, I have been asked to fly to
Canada with my boss and several of his friends for fishing.We'll be gone for
a long weekend. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion
I've been wanting so could you please pack enough clothes for a 3 day
weekend. And also would you get out my rod and tackle box from the attic?
We're leaving at 4:30 pm from the office and I will swing by the house to
pick my things up. 'Oh! And please pack my new navy blue silk pajamas..'

The wife thinks this sounds a bit odd, but, being the good wife, She does
exactly what her husband asked.



Following the long weekend he came home a little tired, but, otherwise,
looking good. The wife welcomes him home and asks if he caught many fish?

He says, 'Yes! Lots of Walleyes, some Bass, and a few Pike. But why didn't
you pack my new blue silk pajamas like I asked you to do?



The wife replies, ' I did, they're in your tackle box.

Comments

  • tgf
    tgf Member Posts: 950 Member
    funny
    Sounds like something my ex-husband would have come up with ... :-)

    hugs.
    teena
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    Two Southern Ladies decided
    Two Southern Ladies decided to welcome a Northern newcomer to the neighborhood. The three are sitting on a veranda sipping sweet tea and talking about their husbands.

    The first Southern Belle says, "My husband just took me shopping yesterday and bought me a 9 carat diamond ring and earrings to match. He loves me so much and is the most generous man!"

    The Northerner politely says, "Hmmmm, isn't that nice?"

    The second Belle drawls, "And my darling husband remodeled our home to look just like Tara, and says I am more beautiful than Scarlet O'Hara ever was..."

    Again, the Northern neighbor says, "Hmmmm, isn't that nice?"

    The 2 Southerners spend the better part of an hour trying to outdo each other by bragging about how much their respective husbands spent on them. And each time, the Northerner simply says, "Hmmmm, isn't that nice"

    After being repeatedly pestered to share what her husband had done for her, the Northerner admitted that her husband had recently sent her to Charm School.

    "Charm School? Whatever for?" asked the ladies...

    "Well, it was a wonderful experience, actually. Now, instead of saying I don't give a flying ^@**&7**^#@!~ I have learned to say, Hmmmm, isn't that nice!"

    :-)
    Claudia
  • fauxma
    fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member
    chenheart said:

    Two Southern Ladies decided
    Two Southern Ladies decided to welcome a Northern newcomer to the neighborhood. The three are sitting on a veranda sipping sweet tea and talking about their husbands.

    The first Southern Belle says, "My husband just took me shopping yesterday and bought me a 9 carat diamond ring and earrings to match. He loves me so much and is the most generous man!"

    The Northerner politely says, "Hmmmm, isn't that nice?"

    The second Belle drawls, "And my darling husband remodeled our home to look just like Tara, and says I am more beautiful than Scarlet O'Hara ever was..."

    Again, the Northern neighbor says, "Hmmmm, isn't that nice?"

    The 2 Southerners spend the better part of an hour trying to outdo each other by bragging about how much their respective husbands spent on them. And each time, the Northerner simply says, "Hmmmm, isn't that nice"

    After being repeatedly pestered to share what her husband had done for her, the Northerner admitted that her husband had recently sent her to Charm School.

    "Charm School? Whatever for?" asked the ladies...

    "Well, it was a wonderful experience, actually. Now, instead of saying I don't give a flying ^@**&7**^#@!~ I have learned to say, Hmmmm, isn't that nice!"

    :-)
    Claudia

    I loved that. I think I
    I loved that. I think I will start using that. Hmmmmmm, isn't that nice! Yes, it will work in many situations.
    Stef
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    fauxma said:

    I loved that. I think I
    I loved that. I think I will start using that. Hmmmmmm, isn't that nice! Yes, it will work in many situations.
    Stef

    Isn't that nice"
    Actually, my niece and I heard that joke some years ago, and you might ( or might not!) be amazed at how many times "isn't that nice" has been part of our conversation. It is a great, polite thing to say more times than not! LOL

    Hugs,
    Claudia
  • tgf
    tgf Member Posts: 950 Member
    chenheart said:

    Isn't that nice"
    Actually, my niece and I heard that joke some years ago, and you might ( or might not!) be amazed at how many times "isn't that nice" has been part of our conversation. It is a great, polite thing to say more times than not! LOL

    Hugs,
    Claudia

    Works for me
    Between "Hmmmm, isn't that nice" ... and "that's interesting" ... I think that will cover just all of the stupid things people say.

    Isn't that nice?????

    hugs.
    teena

    P.S. It's also VERY interesting!!!!
  • fauxma
    fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member
    tgf said:

    Works for me
    Between "Hmmmm, isn't that nice" ... and "that's interesting" ... I think that will cover just all of the stupid things people say.

    Isn't that nice?????

    hugs.
    teena

    P.S. It's also VERY interesting!!!!

    Rubber Gloves
    A dentist noticed that his next patient, a little old lady, was nervous, so he decided to tell her a little joke as he put on his gloves.

    'Do you know how they make these gloves?' he asked.

    'No, I don't,' she replied.

    'Well,' he spoofed, 'there's a building in Canada with a big tank of latex, and workers of all hand sizes walk up to the tank, dip in their hands, let them dry, then peel off the gloves and throw them into boxes of the right size.'

    She didn't crack a smile.

    'Oh, well. I tried,' he thought.

    But five minutes later, during a delicate portion of the procedure, she burst out laughing.

    'What's so funny?' he asked.

    'I was just envisioning how condoms are made!'
  • tasha_111
    tasha_111 Member Posts: 2,072
    fauxma said:

    Rubber Gloves
    A dentist noticed that his next patient, a little old lady, was nervous, so he decided to tell her a little joke as he put on his gloves.

    'Do you know how they make these gloves?' he asked.

    'No, I don't,' she replied.

    'Well,' he spoofed, 'there's a building in Canada with a big tank of latex, and workers of all hand sizes walk up to the tank, dip in their hands, let them dry, then peel off the gloves and throw them into boxes of the right size.'

    She didn't crack a smile.

    'Oh, well. I tried,' he thought.

    But five minutes later, during a delicate portion of the procedure, she burst out laughing.

    'What's so funny?' he asked.

    'I was just envisioning how condoms are made!'

    Wilderness
    A Yuppie moves into a log cabin in the wilds of the Deep South, getting away from it all. Anyway he's been there a couple of months, alone when a neighbour from 5 miles away bangs on his door...

    The huge redneck nearest neighbour welcomes him to the neighbourhood and asks him if he's like to attend a welcoming party to be thrown for him. The Yuppie says "What sort of party?" The Redneck replies : "Oh just the usual, Drinkin, Smokin, Cards, Rowdy Jokes and Rampant Sex"

    The Yuppie accepts (after all, he has been in total isolation for 2 months!) As the Big Fella turns to leave the Yuppie asks: "Hey what should I wear?"

    The Big Guy replies....."Hell, that don't matter, only be you and me there!"

    ROFL!
    Jxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • rjjj
    rjjj Member Posts: 1,822 Member
    tasha_111 said:

    Wilderness
    A Yuppie moves into a log cabin in the wilds of the Deep South, getting away from it all. Anyway he's been there a couple of months, alone when a neighbour from 5 miles away bangs on his door...

    The huge redneck nearest neighbour welcomes him to the neighbourhood and asks him if he's like to attend a welcoming party to be thrown for him. The Yuppie says "What sort of party?" The Redneck replies : "Oh just the usual, Drinkin, Smokin, Cards, Rowdy Jokes and Rampant Sex"

    The Yuppie accepts (after all, he has been in total isolation for 2 months!) As the Big Fella turns to leave the Yuppie asks: "Hey what should I wear?"

    The Big Guy replies....."Hell, that don't matter, only be you and me there!"

    ROFL!
    Jxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

    I love you all
    You are such a hoot! LOL! BTW...why did two angels get kicked out of heaven?
    They were flying United.
    Jackie
  • rjjj
    rjjj Member Posts: 1,822 Member
    sexy neglige
    A man told his boss "last night my wife finally met me at the door in a sexy neglige" Boss states "good for you" Man says "not really she was coming home!" hahahaha
    jackie
  • Akiss4me
    Akiss4me Member Posts: 2,188
    Wow....
    Comedy Central (CC on the BC board!!). Thanks all for the laughs! I couldn't find a thing to watch on TV but this more than made up for it!! Ha,ha.....:) Pammy
  • tommaseena
    tommaseena Member Posts: 1,769
    Akiss4me said:

    Wow....
    Comedy Central (CC on the BC board!!). Thanks all for the laughs! I couldn't find a thing to watch on TV but this more than made up for it!! Ha,ha.....:) Pammy

    CC
    I think we are all becoming comedians.
    I love that others are sharing jokes.

    Margo