personal question, please help

confused123

I have tried to avoid asking this because it is so personal and embarassing but it is very annoying also. I feel the BC has taken enough(not taking my life aside) I must draw the line at taking my sex life! I was on A/C and then Taxol, now just Herceptin. I am experiencing painful intercourse to the point I can't have intercourse anymore because it is TOO PAINFUL! My obgyn said my PH level is off and put me on over the counter Replense to help with dryness. Has anyone had this? Did you try something that worked? My oncologist said she never had anyone complain of it and my obgyn is sending me to a specialist who deals specifically with these issues. I assume it will be a long problem since I will be on Tamoxifen, am ER positive and can't take hormones and taking estrogen would help, of course!

Please help,

Kim

EveningStar2

help
I was having some issues with this i.e. "personal dryness" before the whole breast cancer thing. Now on tamoxifen, I can forget fixing the body--lube is your friend. There was some discussion somewhere (I can't remember) that there are a few specialty lubricants that don't dry out and get sticky but I can't remember the names.

Maureen

susie09

EveningStar2 said:

help
I was having some issues with this i.e. "personal dryness" before the whole breast cancer thing. Now on tamoxifen, I can forget fixing the body--lube is your friend. There was some discussion somewhere (I can't remember) that there are a few specialty lubricants that don't dry out and get sticky but I can't remember the names.

Maureen

I am sorry Kim. I think
I am sorry Kim. I think probably a lot of women have this problem just because of the lack of Estrogen anymore in our bodies. Talk to your ob/gyn, and, hopefully they can help you! Good luck to you and let us know if you find something that works!

fauxma

susie09 said:

I am sorry Kim. I think
I am sorry Kim. I think probably a lot of women have this problem just because of the lack of Estrogen anymore in our bodies. Talk to your ob/gyn, and, hopefully they can help you! Good luck to you and let us know if you find something that works!

There is a product called
There is a product called Liquid Silk. Many woman who have had internal rads for uterine cancer have used it. Of course, ask your doctor about it first. I think that it is okay to use and can help with the dryness. KY is not so good because it is alcohol based and can actually dry the vagina out more. There are many products that might help with this.
Stef

chenheart

Ouch Remedies!
I was also ER Positive, taking Arimidex, and this question was posed some months back~ the answers were wild and crazy! So..being as we are anonymous ( except most everyone recognizes a 50' woman!) I will say again what I said then. Aside from asking your health care provider, saliva is a known, effective lubricant. I am not at all suggesting how saliva should get from point A to point B, and being as NON graphic as possible, let me just hopefully tactfully say that my Reggie "spits' on his fingers, lubricates himself with it, and then, I am able to "welcome" him. I hope this was written with the dignity this subject desrves; I honestly don't know how to be any more specific without being TMI specific. But for us, it works like a charm. And is discreet, too. Hope this helps.

Hugs,
Claudia

PS The first time I wrote about this known "remedy"...another poster chimed in that it is well-known by those in the Porn Business! I think perhaps even names were mentioned, but I may be wrong about that! LOL

j916

?
can i ask if you think the pain is from dryness? I, too, have had an issue with painful intercourse, to the point of extremely slight bleeding (pink tinged discharge)..i DID go to my dr, i thought my IUD had "slipped" or something and was causing the pain, but everything checked out fine. I HAVE been using lubrication, almost in excess thinking that might be the problem, but i am still having pain.
I'm glad i went to the dr and had it checked to make sure everything was ok....but it still hurts

confused123

j916 said:

?
can i ask if you think the pain is from dryness? I, too, have had an issue with painful intercourse, to the point of extremely slight bleeding (pink tinged discharge)..i DID go to my dr, i thought my IUD had "slipped" or something and was causing the pain, but everything checked out fine. I HAVE been using lubrication, almost in excess thinking that might be the problem, but i am still having pain.
I'm glad i went to the dr and had it checked to make sure everything was ok....but it still hurts

thank you
Thanks ladies,
I am so appreciative you shared your personal ideas on this topic with me. I have tried lubricant but it did not help. I can try the things listed and see what happens and hopefully I can get some answers from the new doc

j916, if I can ask you about it you can certainly ask me, LOL, I am not sure what it is caused from. My obgyn said it may be dryness because my ph level is off in that area so the Replense is supposed to help but isn't helping enough. I also have had the pink discharge. I will let you know if I get any helpful info at my next appointment. The Replense is something you use every 3 days to replace the moisture it is not a lubricant you only use when... well...you know...my obgyn told me today to try it every 2 days while waiting for appointment with new doc. I don't have an IUD so I know it is not that.

Thanks all,
Kim

Akiss4me

chenheart said:

Ouch Remedies!
I was also ER Positive, taking Arimidex, and this question was posed some months back~ the answers were wild and crazy! So..being as we are anonymous ( except most everyone recognizes a 50' woman!) I will say again what I said then. Aside from asking your health care provider, saliva is a known, effective lubricant. I am not at all suggesting how saliva should get from point A to point B, and being as NON graphic as possible, let me just hopefully tactfully say that my Reggie "spits' on his fingers, lubricates himself with it, and then, I am able to "welcome" him. I hope this was written with the dignity this subject desrves; I honestly don't know how to be any more specific without being TMI specific. But for us, it works like a charm. And is discreet, too. Hope this helps.

Hugs,
Claudia

PS The first time I wrote about this known "remedy"...another poster chimed in that it is well-known by those in the Porn Business! I think perhaps even names were mentioned, but I may be wrong about that! LOL

I'm with you....
Spit works great!! But I haven't seemed to want any sex since I was diagnosed. Just haven't had the desire. Poor hubby, waiting so patiently! Anyone else have this problem. Is it from the shock of having BC? Haven't started any treatment yet, so that's not it. Pammy

bfbear

confused123 said:

thank you
Thanks ladies,
I am so appreciative you shared your personal ideas on this topic with me. I have tried lubricant but it did not help. I can try the things listed and see what happens and hopefully I can get some answers from the new doc

j916, if I can ask you about it you can certainly ask me, LOL, I am not sure what it is caused from. My obgyn said it may be dryness because my ph level is off in that area so the Replense is supposed to help but isn't helping enough. I also have had the pink discharge. I will let you know if I get any helpful info at my next appointment. The Replense is something you use every 3 days to replace the moisture it is not a lubricant you only use when... well...you know...my obgyn told me today to try it every 2 days while waiting for appointment with new doc. I don't have an IUD so I know it is not that.

Thanks all,
Kim

If you find something
that works, let me know. The pain I have is right at the "entrance," and it feels as though my hubby has ground glass around his you-know-what. With pain like that, I really don't want to have sex....as you can imagine. KY does not help. Neither does saliva.
So, anything you find out, I'd be willing to try too!

Debi

j916

confused123 said:

thank you
Thanks ladies,
I am so appreciative you shared your personal ideas on this topic with me. I have tried lubricant but it did not help. I can try the things listed and see what happens and hopefully I can get some answers from the new doc

j916, if I can ask you about it you can certainly ask me, LOL, I am not sure what it is caused from. My obgyn said it may be dryness because my ph level is off in that area so the Replense is supposed to help but isn't helping enough. I also have had the pink discharge. I will let you know if I get any helpful info at my next appointment. The Replense is something you use every 3 days to replace the moisture it is not a lubricant you only use when... well...you know...my obgyn told me today to try it every 2 days while waiting for appointment with new doc. I don't have an IUD so I know it is not that.

Thanks all,
Kim

please let me know
if your dr has any suggestions, and thank you for replying! My pain is about half way inside, if not a little further. Is replense over the counter, or Rx?

confused123

j916 said:

please let me know
if your dr has any suggestions, and thank you for replying! My pain is about half way inside, if not a little further. Is replense over the counter, or Rx?

Replense is Over the counter. I am hoping to get an appointment soon so I will get back to you about any other info.

Are you the one with the pretty medical bracelet mentioned, where did you get it?

Kim

DianeBC

confused123 said:

Replense is Over the counter. I am hoping to get an appointment soon so I will get back to you about any other info.

Are you the one with the pretty medical bracelet mentioned, where did you get it?

Kim

Kim, if you found out
Kim, if you find out anything good, let us know! A lot of women suffer with this because of the lack of estrogen. It is very painful right at the entrance. Thanks for bringing this up!

chenheart

confused123 said:

Replense is Over the counter. I am hoping to get an appointment soon so I will get back to you about any other info.

Are you the one with the pretty medical bracelet mentioned, where did you get it?

Kim

ID Bracelets
I ordered a pretty bracelet from www.thingsremembered.com They run about $25.00 with $12.00 for the personalization. I had mine say NO B/P or IV...figured that would just about cover it if I am "out of it"~ sheesh, I had best NEVER take it off if thats the criteria! LOL

Hugs,
Claudia

survivorbc09

If you find something that
If you find something that works Kim, please post it for us. I feel so sorry for my husband, but, it hurts bad when he enters me. Sorry, hope I am not too graphic here, but, it would be nice to find something that takes that pain away. Cause we can't give it up!

Thanks for starting this post Kim!

And, saliva does nothing, nor Ky Jelly

Moopy23

chenheart said:

ID Bracelets
I ordered a pretty bracelet from www.thingsremembered.com They run about $25.00 with $12.00 for the personalization. I had mine say NO B/P or IV...figured that would just about cover it if I am "out of it"~ sheesh, I had best NEVER take it off if thats the criteria! LOL

Hugs,
Claudia

IDs
Claudia, thanks for posting this. After reading the responses about lymphedema, I want to buy one.

mimivac

survivorbc09 said:

If you find something that
If you find something that works Kim, please post it for us. I feel so sorry for my husband, but, it hurts bad when he enters me. Sorry, hope I am not too graphic here, but, it would be nice to find something that takes that pain away. Cause we can't give it up!

Thanks for starting this post Kim!

And, saliva does nothing, nor Ky Jelly

what sex life?
Uh, yes Pammy, I have that same problem with desire. Before this there was no problem, really regular, a good time was had by all, etc, etc. In fact, my drive was more than my husband's. Now, I'm almost never that into it. Lord. Please post if anyone has a solution to this.

Mimi

Moopy23

My Female Onc. in St. Louis suggested
Kim, my onc. suggested V-a-g-i-f-e-m for me since I had hormone-negative cancer. She also told me I could get more information by going to the NCI website and typing in "Sex and chemotherapy" or similar key words. I haven't done that yet.

She also gave me Astroglide, and a book, 100 Questions and Answers for Women Living with Cancer. It suggests Replens and other "feminine moisturizers" such as Vitamin E suppositories, Feminease, or Moist Again. These can be used 2 or 3 times a week. Also vibrators are discussed. The website drugstore.com is "discreet" and doesn't send any unwanted mailings. There is also a chapter on complementary and alternative treatments, such as Zestra, "an herbal topical feminine arousal liquid marketed as a sexual enhancer." (zestraforwomen.com)

Actually, the book has been very helpful and covers a wide range of topics, not just Sexual Health.

sausageroll

Moopy23 said:

My Female Onc. in St. Louis suggested
Kim, my onc. suggested V-a-g-i-f-e-m for me since I had hormone-negative cancer. She also told me I could get more information by going to the NCI website and typing in "Sex and chemotherapy" or similar key words. I haven't done that yet.

She also gave me Astroglide, and a book, 100 Questions and Answers for Women Living with Cancer. It suggests Replens and other "feminine moisturizers" such as Vitamin E suppositories, Feminease, or Moist Again. These can be used 2 or 3 times a week. Also vibrators are discussed. The website drugstore.com is "discreet" and doesn't send any unwanted mailings. There is also a chapter on complementary and alternative treatments, such as Zestra, "an herbal topical feminine arousal liquid marketed as a sexual enhancer." (zestraforwomen.com)

Actually, the book has been very helpful and covers a wide range of topics, not just Sexual Health.

Mimi!
I know how you feel Mimi. I am so much older than you and have had times when I just did not want any sex. My husband is now impotent from 2 types of cancer, but I have to say that our intimate life together is probably the best it has ever been. I guess what I am trying to say is that you go through phases and sometimes we don't understand why.

Eil4186

Hi Kim, I had this problem
Hi Kim, I had this problem for quite a while. Replens helped a bit but it was still very painful. Finally, I asked my onc. about trying Premarin brand estrogen cream. Dr. Susan Love mentioned in her book that it was fine for women who have had BC. My oncologist agreed and I used it for several months. It did wonders for my "problem".

Eventually my estrogen returned to my normal premenopasal level and I stopped using the cream. I assumed that the pain would go away but unfortunately it is still very painful and I am unable to follow through with that "activity". I think you may have a point about the ph level. Perhaps that is the culprit in my case.

You may want to ask your doctor about Premarin cream. It has an extremely tiny amount of estrogen and is considered to be safe even for women who have had hormone receptor positive breast cancer. It really makes a huge difference with the dryness/pain in the personal area.
Good luck.

bfbear

Eil4186 said:

Hi Kim, I had this problem
Hi Kim, I had this problem for quite a while. Replens helped a bit but it was still very painful. Finally, I asked my onc. about trying Premarin brand estrogen cream. Dr. Susan Love mentioned in her book that it was fine for women who have had BC. My oncologist agreed and I used it for several months. It did wonders for my "problem".

Eventually my estrogen returned to my normal premenopasal level and I stopped using the cream. I assumed that the pain would go away but unfortunately it is still very painful and I am unable to follow through with that "activity". I think you may have a point about the ph level. Perhaps that is the culprit in my case.

You may want to ask your doctor about Premarin cream. It has an extremely tiny amount of estrogen and is considered to be safe even for women who have had hormone receptor positive breast cancer. It really makes a huge difference with the dryness/pain in the personal area.
Good luck.

If nothing else...
it really helps to know that others have this same problem. It's so darned embarrassing. I can deal with "pleasuring" my husband in spite of having no sex drive, but I can't stand intercourse anymore because it is sooooo painful.

I will ask my doc about Premarin, and some of the other suggestions.

Thanks, all, for keeping this thread going.

Debi

tasha_111

Eil4186 said:

Hi Kim, I had this problem
Hi Kim, I had this problem for quite a while. Replens helped a bit but it was still very painful. Finally, I asked my onc. about trying Premarin brand estrogen cream. Dr. Susan Love mentioned in her book that it was fine for women who have had BC. My oncologist agreed and I used it for several months. It did wonders for my "problem".

Eventually my estrogen returned to my normal premenopasal level and I stopped using the cream. I assumed that the pain would go away but unfortunately it is still very painful and I am unable to follow through with that "activity". I think you may have a point about the ph level. Perhaps that is the culprit in my case.

You may want to ask your doctor about Premarin cream. It has an extremely tiny amount of estrogen and is considered to be safe even for women who have had hormone receptor positive breast cancer. It really makes a huge difference with the dryness/pain in the personal area.
Good luck.

Great Question
I was forced into doing 'IT' Right from the start, It hurt so much and now I just can't bloody stand the the thought of it anymore

Jxxxxxxxxxxxx