Feeling Depressed and Guilty
Comments
-
You did great!
I agree with Jean - it sounds like all of your decisions were the best ones you could make. You are a wonderful daughter, and I'm sure your Mom appreciated it. I believe that what your Mom would want you to do now is to focus on your two beautiful children, with no more guilt about her care. You can continue to honor her by telling your children lots of stories about how wonderful your mother was. Please continue to work through the grief process at your own pace. In the meantime, God is with you always.
Love and hugs, Carol0 -
Aw, Lizper....
It is with tears in my eyes that I read about your ordeal. In all honesty, it sounds to me like you did exactly the right things. You made your decisions based on love & devotion, and I don't see how that could be wrong. So please don't let yourself feel guilty; and I know that your loving mother would never want you to carry this experience as a burden, but more of
something to pride yourself on.
You were there for her through thick and thin; and what mother could ask for more than that?
Giving a loved one permission to die is not an easy thing to do; (I, too, had to do that with my Dad), and you did it so sweetly and with so much love, I admire you for it.
Your mother will always live on in your heart.
My prayers and ((hugs)) to you~
~Susan xoxo0 -
I agree
Lizper,
I too believe you did what was right. We too had to let our mother go of cancer. And she went with our Lord on Christmas morning 11 years ago this Christmas. And I still think of her.
What a blessing you were to your mom and you will need to continue for your children and be an example to them.
It has been only 2 very short months. It takes time to heal, but we never forget our moms.
We are here for you, and will keep you lifted up in prayer.
In His Grip,
Libby0 -
The bestest of the best
Dearest Liz,
You have been nothing but the best loving caring devoted daughter. You have always done what was best for her and fought the fight right along side her and know always she will be alive in your heart and the memories you share with your children. Love ♥ Hugs ♥ Prayers Bonnie0 -
From Another CaregiverBonnieR said:The bestest of the best
Dearest Liz,
You have been nothing but the best loving caring devoted daughter. You have always done what was best for her and fought the fight right along side her and know always she will be alive in your heart and the memories you share with your children. Love ♥ Hugs ♥ Prayers Bonnie
You have been the absolute best daughter you could be. You did all that you could for your Mom and you did it with love. Two months is still too new in the grief process. No one told my Mom either about her outcome. No doctor did. I didn't. In the beginning she would cry and ask if she was going to die. I always asked her if that was what the doctor told her. And she would say no. Maybe that was the chicken way out, but I could not be the one to tell her, it would have taken her will to live away. We would talk from time to time as her health did not get better, but only in a roundabout way. She let me know about her funeral, and some of the little things. But she honestly believed she would be around awhile longer. Towards the end of her illness she kept saying that she only wanted one more year, then she would be ready to go.
When we started out, the doctor told me two weeks to maybe two months. Mom made it to 18 months. No hospice, only me. One of the things I feel bad about is that two months before she died, she was determined to keep walking. So her doctor got a therapist to come in, after Mom asked him, and work with her twice a week. She was doing pretty good to the point of one day telling the therapist that she wanted to walk without the walker. Well, the therapy girl and I were speechless because we knew if Mom fell it would be the end. So we told Mom that due to her not being able to see well..the macular...she needed the walker. Mom cried after the therapy girl left and I felt so bad for Mom. It dampened a lot of the enthusiasm she had about walking, but I couldn't let her walk and fall. I can still see her face after we told her. It is so easy to fall into guilt after taking care of someone. You do the best you can at the time and pray that God heals your memories in the days to come. I still wake up at night and think of things that I could have done differently for Mom. But I did the best I could at the time and I did it with love. Please remind yourself of this when the guilt starts to creep in. You loved your Mom and took the best care of her that you could. Hugs to you, Cindy0
Discussion Boards
- All Discussion Boards
- 6 CSN Information
- 6 Welcome to CSN
- 121.8K Cancer specific
- 2.8K Anal Cancer
- 446 Bladder Cancer
- 309 Bone Cancers
- 1.6K Brain Cancer
- 28.5K Breast Cancer
- 397 Childhood Cancers
- 27.9K Colorectal Cancer
- 4.6K Esophageal Cancer
- 1.2K Gynecological Cancers (other than ovarian and uterine)
- 13K Head and Neck Cancer
- 6.4K Kidney Cancer
- 671 Leukemia
- 793 Liver Cancer
- 4.1K Lung Cancer
- 5.1K Lymphoma (Hodgkin and Non-Hodgkin)
- 237 Multiple Myeloma
- 7.1K Ovarian Cancer
- 61 Pancreatic Cancer
- 487 Peritoneal Cancer
- 5.5K Prostate Cancer
- 1.2K Rare and Other Cancers
- 539 Sarcoma
- 730 Skin Cancer
- 653 Stomach Cancer
- 191 Testicular Cancer
- 1.5K Thyroid Cancer
- 5.8K Uterine/Endometrial Cancer
- 6.3K Lifestyle Discussion Boards