Finished with him

2»

Comments

  • dyaneb123
    dyaneb123 Member Posts: 950
    #22
    Tasha, be sure he doesn't
    Tasha, be sure he doesn't forget to take his precious "tomato" plant on his way out the door!
    I know this is a tough time, but that was one of my favorite Tasha stories.You and Jamie be well.
    Dee
  • tommaseena
    tommaseena Member Posts: 1,769
    #23
    dyaneb123 said:

    Tasha, be sure he doesn't
    Tasha, be sure he doesn't forget to take his precious "tomato" plant on his way out the door!
    I know this is a tough time, but that was one of my favorite Tasha stories.You and Jamie be well.
    Dee

    Tasha
    Tasha,
    I know it is a hard decision but it is the best decision you make at this time in your life and Jamie's life. You know I did it and it was for the best for everyone involved.

    You and Jamie are and will be in my thoughts through this time.

    Margo
  • Noel
    Noel Member Posts: 3,095 Member
    #24
    tommaseena said:

    Tasha
    Tasha,
    I know it is a hard decision but it is the best decision you make at this time in your life and Jamie's life. You know I did it and it was for the best for everyone involved.

    You and Jamie are and will be in my thoughts through this time.

    Margo

    Ok, now my 2 cents
    Until you get rid of HIM, you will never live Tasha. Why would you put up with his abuse? Do you love him that much or do you need his money? Why? Nothing, and, I mean nothing is worth putting up with the verbal abuse he has done to you. If my husband said those things to me, I would be in prison as I would have killed him. What he has said to you, is beyond awful. Please, ditch him. You will be a lot better off without him! What if for some horrible reason, you only had a year left to live, would you spend it with him? If your answer is no, then leave! I think that says it all!

    Hugs to you, Noel

    p.s. i think i finally figured out why you are so funny, you are covering up your pain.
  • tasha_111
    tasha_111 Member Posts: 2,072
    #25
    Noel said:

    Ok, now my 2 cents
    Until you get rid of HIM, you will never live Tasha. Why would you put up with his abuse? Do you love him that much or do you need his money? Why? Nothing, and, I mean nothing is worth putting up with the verbal abuse he has done to you. If my husband said those things to me, I would be in prison as I would have killed him. What he has said to you, is beyond awful. Please, ditch him. You will be a lot better off without him! What if for some horrible reason, you only had a year left to live, would you spend it with him? If your answer is no, then leave! I think that says it all!

    Hugs to you, Noel

    p.s. i think i finally figured out why you are so funny, you are covering up your pain.

    Not Me......
    If it ends.........I will not be the one leaving. I told him last night, 'You have a legal obligation to provide for me, and I will Darned well make sure that you do!' I also repeated our esteemed poetess's words to him........."Your financial support will be required, however your physical presence will NOT!".....Cats toy, you are a star!

    Thanks for all the support you have given me, all you great people.

    Hugs Jxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • 1surfermom
    1surfermom Member Posts: 396 Member
    #26
    tasha_111 said:

    Not Me......
    If it ends.........I will not be the one leaving. I told him last night, 'You have a legal obligation to provide for me, and I will Darned well make sure that you do!' I also repeated our esteemed poetess's words to him........."Your financial support will be required, however your physical presence will NOT!".....Cats toy, you are a star!

    Thanks for all the support you have given me, all you great people.

    Hugs Jxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

    You made the right decision
    Tasha,
    Jamie does not need to see his mother treated in a demeaning manner. As a mother of sons I often worry that my children will think that it is O.K. to treat women poorly. We of all people should know how fragile life is and that every minute is precious. I also understand that as being members of the BC club we are vunerable and often take any support how little or troubling it may be. You seem to have told him exactly what he needed to hear and I am proud of you. If doesn't have too much bad karma, I'd keep the ring and use the money for something you and Jamie would enjoy( Trip to Southern California surfing with my boys perhaps?). Love Surf
  • susie09
    susie09 Member Posts: 2,930
    #27
    1surfermom said:

    You made the right decision
    Tasha,
    Jamie does not need to see his mother treated in a demeaning manner. As a mother of sons I often worry that my children will think that it is O.K. to treat women poorly. We of all people should know how fragile life is and that every minute is precious. I also understand that as being members of the BC club we are vunerable and often take any support how little or troubling it may be. You seem to have told him exactly what he needed to hear and I am proud of you. If doesn't have too much bad karma, I'd keep the ring and use the money for something you and Jamie would enjoy( Trip to Southern California surfing with my boys perhaps?). Love Surf

    If you aren't married to
    If you aren't married to him, how can you make him support you? Didn't you say you were just engaged? I mean, I hope you can, but, I didn't know that could happen unless he willingly did it. And, who owns your home? Is it in both of your names? Or, is it a rental? And, what surfermom said is true, your son will pick up on this and think it is ok to abuse women. It isn't good for him to be in a situation like that. That is why most mother's leave situations like this. For their kids too. Kids shouldn't be exposed to this and you shouldn't have to live like this either. Why do it? I wish you good luck Tasha.
  • Akiss4me
    Akiss4me Member Posts: 2,188
    #28
    Tasha....
    It's difficult to make a strong decision when your angry (harder to think straight). I would get a notebook and start writing down the steps I would need to take to turn what seems to be a sadly abusive life with this man around.
    I had a friend that didn't feel she was being abused because her significant other didn't beat her! She never considered verbal abuse as a form of abuse. Yet she would become sad, hurt, angry, and then guilty for feeling that way(becasue that is how he had conditioned her over time).
    I use to tell her that "sticks & stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me" was a phrase invented by a man to get away with verbal abuse. He hoped all women would believe it just so they would take it when it was given to them. Well, words do hurt. They break down your self esteem over a period of time and make you feel insecure and helpless. My friend I mentioned earlier.....she committed suicide because she felt too worthless after enduring this abuse for far to long. She just couldn't find it in her to walk away from the relationship. She was afraid to ask him to leave.
    Sometimes the fear of the unknown will hold us back for the wrong reasons. I am sorry you are going through this, but nothing can be as hard to accomplish as fighting cancer. You do deserve better and I hope you give it some serious thought. Maybe start by distancing yourself a little at a time. Hang in there and we are all her for you! :) Pammy
  • susie09
    susie09 Member Posts: 2,930
    #29
    Tasha, are you just staying
    Tasha, are you just staying with him and taking his abuse for the financial security? If so, there are people, friends and places that can help you. By your staying with him, you are telling him that it is OK to abuse you. It is never OK for anyone to verbally abuse another as he has you. He was glad you got cancer? I would have been out that door the minute he said that. Please Tasha, leave him and start a new and good life free of abuse. We will all help you.

Discussion Boards