End of my tether!

tasha_111
tasha_111 Member Posts: 2,072
edited March 2014 in Emotional Support #1
As many of you know, I have posted on here a few times recently..My husband lost his Mum to cancer less than a year before I got diagnosed with Breast cancer end of 2007.. He became like Mr Angry when she died.....He went completely off the deep end and was a totally different person. He has mental health issues, but they never really surfaced before his loss. I tried very hard to stand by him, understand and sympathise with him, but was accused of being 'Self Serving' the whole time....He SENT me back to England 2 months before my diagnosis....Cos he didn't want me around, then he changed his ming and I came back. All through my diagnosis and treatments he was awful to me, told me I deserved to have cancer, and the night before my first chemo (which I was unsure about) woke me at 3 am, drunk and told me chemo wouldn't work and he wasn't going to waste his time taking me. Anyway, he did take me, never sat with me, Charged me for the trip and moaned like hell about how inconvenient it was for HIM!

I know......Toss him to the Curb!......Now it's going from bad to worse, I have my son visiting from England and he has turned into a drunken Raving Lunatic.........Jamie is apalled at how I am treated by him when he has had a few drinks........Last night got really out of hand, We kept out of his way today and he called me on my cell and said he was sorry and calmed down........By the time I got home this afternoon he was well on the way to being sloshed again and after 2 hours in his company he started up again........I have had enough. Every night he tells my Son that I am cheating on him on the internet......I spend too much time in here, and that I am a slob. I am getting sooooooooo hosed off with this "Are you talking to your Boyfriends again?"... Yeah right, the first place anyone would come to to flirt would be a Breast Cancer board!
I spend a lot of time in here just reading and putting my oar in when I feel I can be of use..BECAUSE, I had no support whatsoever during treatment, or after...He Forced me in here ..Yep I should thank him.

Anyway, Thanks for putting up with the rant.

Now what to do?....Home for abused women?...Or Kick him out?...Tell him his Financial Support would still be required but his physical presence would NOT!..........?

I have had to call the police to him about 8 times since my diagnosis, last time they locked him up for the night.

Any suggestions as to where to go to seek help would be MOST appreciated!

Thanks Jxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Comments

  • hollyberry
    hollyberry Member Posts: 173 Member
    #2
    Get out, Get out, Get out!!!
    Please do not waste one more day with that JERK!!! You are one of the funniest, sweetest girls on this board and I can't stand the thought of you being abused for one nore day! Nobody deserves to be treated so disrespectfully! I don't care what that jerk is drinking, he doesn't deserve you and he knows it.
    Find somewhere to got that is peaceful and will make you happy- you deserve it!! Your son also doesn't need to see his mother being treated this way.He needs, instead, a model of a healthy relationship with boundaries that show mutual respect, if he is to have a fulfilling relationship. I'm sure you know that but, maybe you think you can't get out? Please try to get away from this abuser and live a happy life; there are so many good men in this world and you'll never find one if you settle for this Bozo.
    I'm not trying to insult you in any way, I just get so angry when people treat each other so badly and we should all know through this cancer experience that a day wasted on jerks is one you won't get back! Remember your battle and how hard you fought for your life- it would be such a shame to give it away to someone who doesn't appreciate you.
    You're in my prayers,
    Hollyberry
  • terato
    terato Member Posts: 375
    #3
    If you were my sister,Tasha,...
    I would advise you to toss the S.O.B. and stand by the door with a baseball bat until he leaves! He is no less a malignant growth than any of your tumors and, unfortunately, his chemotherapy of choice does not put him into remission. You are entitled to better!

    Love and Courage!

    Rick
  • tasha_111
    tasha_111 Member Posts: 2,072
    #4
    terato said:

    If you were my sister,Tasha,...
    I would advise you to toss the S.O.B. and stand by the door with a baseball bat until he leaves! He is no less a malignant growth than any of your tumors and, unfortunately, his chemotherapy of choice does not put him into remission. You are entitled to better!

    Love and Courage!

    Rick

    Terato
    I am you sister.........I will heed your wonderful advice.........enough is enough! Thanks Jxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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