Scared, confused need answers and support

aurora2009

Hi everyone
I feel really badly that I haven't been posting as much as I can so .........

First let me start by welcoming all the new people here that I have failed to post on......I've read all your posts and for once am caught up......
So Welcome!!!!! to the best place every for comfort and support. You'll find everything you need here from answers to to compassion.

Also I wanted to tell DMC that I'm sorry that you had such and upsetting day. I think in the long run you're going to feel better than you've got it off your chest (no pun intented) but now that your parents and your daughter know, it will be better for you not to carry that wieght on you, I wish you luck, hope and everything I have that your tests come back good. Your in my thoughts and prayers.

Taleena, I've wanted to respond to your last two posts, but to be honest I just haven't been able to find the words in me, I guess I've been a little pre-occupied with my own anxiety and fears. When you mentioned smoking in one of your posts, I realized that I'm not alone. When I found the lump on 5/13 I quit smoking the next day by using the patch. It worked great for 4 weeks but when I was DX'd on 6/12, I went straight home and grabbed a cigerette from my HusBro (I call him that because we're not married, but have been together a life time it seems hence Hus-Bro)anyway that lasted for 2 weeks smoking under 5 a day, and then I quit(again with the patch) for about another week. And am back at it again.......I don't know whats the matter with me,I know I have cancer, but the anxiety of waiting is killing me, or like you said making me want to kill something. I'm sorry your test results are taking so long, but that trip sounds like just the medicine you need, I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers also.

Now to the reason for this really long post, my insurance finally approved the first step of my treatment. I go for an MRI tomorrow and my surgury is scheduled for the next day (Wednesday) at 5pm. I have to get there at 2pm for ?????????..........now suddenly I'm scared out of my mind I've read everyone posts (including yours Pammy Chapters 1,2,3, etc.) But I don't know what to expect.

Can anyone help me out here, I'm having a lumpectomy and also the sentiel node removed. .........

I have lots of questions like how long after I start the actual surgury will it be over?
What should I wear?
Will they remove more nodes if the find cancer in the first one?
And Why am I gettingt there 3 hours ahead of time? what is the firsty thing that happens?

I know I should be calling my surgeon, which I will tomorrow but meanwhile I'm going out of my mind. I didn't think I would react like this but here I sit looking for comfort from my peers. Please help the imediate waiting is over for me......and now I'm scared

Aurora

4slurpee

I was exactly where you recently.
Hi,

For my lumpectomy they told me to arrive at 9:30 a.m. and surgery was at 3 p.m. First, wear comfortable clothes, they had me wear a compression bra home which they put on me before I even came out of surgery so it was on when I woke up. The day of surgery they placed the IV tube in so they could use that for putting me under, medicine, etc. Then I waited.

I was then taken for another mammogram - this took quite awhile. My tumor was just under 1 cm. so they had to locate it with the mammogram machine. Let me preface by saying it didn't really hurt. The radiologist then came in and numbed my breast area. He then inserted a thin wire and taped it to the outside of my body so the surgeon could locate the tumor easily. This process was almost pain free. I was shocked. A little pinch with the numbing solution, but I didn't feel anything else. They took me back to the room. I waited.

I was then given a shot in the aerola (sp?) - nipple area - again a little pinch that was it. It had to do with locating the sentinel lymph node in surgery, I can't remember what it was. This is where most of the waiting occurred. They have to wait two hours for that to make it's way from the breast to the lymph node and you have to massage a little every few minutes to make sure it gets through. Nothing happens during these few hours (except discussions). So most of the time is just waiting.

They then come in and shoot the IV with anesthetic and you are out. The surgery took about two hours. The only real discomfort I had was from the drainage tube which was in for a week. They did not find cancer in my sentinel node and took three out total to make sure. They split them right during surgery to see immediate results. Then they take them to the lab to cut them into a million pieces to make sure. I hope this helps without being too graphic. It wasn't nearly as bad as I thought although I found it more comfortable to sleep in a recliner the first two nights because of the tube, but in bed after that. The pain meds helped the tube discomfort greatly.

I hope this helps ease your mind.

aurora2009

4slurpee said:

I was exactly where you recently.
Hi,

For my lumpectomy they told me to arrive at 9:30 a.m. and surgery was at 3 p.m. First, wear comfortable clothes, they had me wear a compression bra home which they put on me before I even came out of surgery so it was on when I woke up. The day of surgery they placed the IV tube in so they could use that for putting me under, medicine, etc. Then I waited.

I was then taken for another mammogram - this took quite awhile. My tumor was just under 1 cm. so they had to locate it with the mammogram machine. Let me preface by saying it didn't really hurt. The radiologist then came in and numbed my breast area. He then inserted a thin wire and taped it to the outside of my body so the surgeon could locate the tumor easily. This process was almost pain free. I was shocked. A little pinch with the numbing solution, but I didn't feel anything else. They took me back to the room. I waited.

I was then given a shot in the aerola (sp?) - nipple area - again a little pinch that was it. It had to do with locating the sentinel lymph node in surgery, I can't remember what it was. This is where most of the waiting occurred. They have to wait two hours for that to make it's way from the breast to the lymph node and you have to massage a little every few minutes to make sure it gets through. Nothing happens during these few hours (except discussions). So most of the time is just waiting.

They then come in and shoot the IV with anesthetic and you are out. The surgery took about two hours. The only real discomfort I had was from the drainage tube which was in for a week. They did not find cancer in my sentinel node and took three out total to make sure. They split them right during surgery to see immediate results. Then they take them to the lab to cut them into a million pieces to make sure. I hope this helps without being too graphic. It wasn't nearly as bad as I thought although I found it more comfortable to sleep in a recliner the first two nights because of the tube, but in bed after that. The pain meds helped the tube discomfort greatly.

I hope this helps ease your mind.

Thank you
It does help, I guess maybe I should bring a crossword book or some thing.

I'm having this done on a Wednesday, and planing to take a total of 5 days off, 1 for the surgury and then Thursday and Friday, Saturday and Sunday I am off so I'll go back on Monday, Do you think that's enough time ?????????

Thanks again

outdoorgirl

Aurora,
I can answer some of your questions.I had a lumpectomy and then I had a partial mastectomy and that's when they did the sentinel node.
I always wear comfortable clothes-ones that will be at least semi-easy to put back on afterwards(sweat bottoms and maybe a zip up sweatshirt or anything that you won't have to pull over your head.They took 2 nodes out of me(the sentinel node that had the blue dye and the one next to it)-fortunately my nodes were clean. If they do find cancer in the first one they will take out more(I can't tell you how many because my cancer didn't spread to my nodes-but there are ladies on here that did have that and they will be better able to give you advice.).
Yes,there usually is wait time.With my lumpectomy,my husband and I waited quite some time in the pre-surgery room.It's been quite some time,and I'm not exactly sure what goes on behind the scenes.
Everybody's different so I can't really tell you how long your surgery will last-part of that will depend on whether or not the cancer has spread to your nodes or not,how big your tumor is,how long it takes them to get clear margins(they will be sending tissue to the lab during your surgery to look for those clear margins).My husband said that my surgeries took about an hour and then I spent time in the recovery room.
I don't want to offer much more info than that because I don't want to give you wrong info! Yes,your surgeon will be much more able to answer your questions!
Yes I know-it is scary!
My thoughts and prayers are with you tonight.
Patty

4slurpee

aurora2009 said:

Thank you
It does help, I guess maybe I should bring a crossword book or some thing.

I'm having this done on a Wednesday, and planing to take a total of 5 days off, 1 for the surgury and then Thursday and Friday, Saturday and Sunday I am off so I'll go back on Monday, Do you think that's enough time ?????????

Thanks again

time after surgery
I am not sure what would be good as far as time after surgery. I would ask your surgeon. I would also ask him what it will be like that day with the waiting for the next post has a good point that everyone is different. However, it sounded like you were looking for some idea of what could possibly fill the time hence my post. I know what the waiting until morning to ask questions can be like - exhausting and anxiety filled.

Good luck.

CR1954

Aurora....
I just want to say that I will be thinking of you and sending big hugs your way....

CR

taleena

Aurora... I just wanted to
Aurora... I just wanted to let you know that I will be thinking of you... your going to do great...

Wear comfortable clothing that you don't have to pull over your head.. button up or zip only..

As for days off from work, some of that will depend, they may have to put in a drain tube, they did for me... not for Pammy (I think that was chapter 5 or 6 lol)... I had my surgery on Tues... I went into the office on Thurs. but only for an hour.. I went back the following Monday, but still wasn't able to put in a full day... by Thursday I made it to 4 pm... I had my drain tube in for two weeks... by the end of the day I was in pain and grouchy.. They ended up taking more breast tissue than the surgeon had originally intended on... so the story goes..

The nurses will explain everything to you... try to relax... we will be here when you get back.

Hugs

~T

j916

(((((aurora))))))
reading your post i could just feel the panic starting....now..take a deep breath. Remember, what keeps us sane and not running around pulling our hair out screaming at the top of our lungs is learning to "stay in the moment" yes, i'm learning to hate that saying, but it really is true and very very helpful. Try not to worry too much about what you can't predict...you are doing great by preparing yourself, arming yourself with all the info that you can ahead of time. That's what i did. I felt that if i knew more, the less surprises there would be...and that helped my mind. But then if there was a slight flux in the plan in my head, it would throw me, so i learned to garnish all the info i could, and then try to be as fluid as possible. The waiting and preparing for this journey are the hardest parts...ugh! It's like, ok...give me the facts, let me know them so i can deal with them! it's the uncertainty that drives me insane!!!
The reason you get there so early is the paperwork...the checkin process can seeminly take forever, and it seems like i always get a person being trained. I try to find the humor in it, it really does help. Also, the surgical schedule may shift a little due to people that are on the schedule ahead of you. If they finish up a little early, they want the next person ready to go so they stay on time.
Then they "prep" you by having you change into the gown, and start taking your vitals, etc., and your doctors will come in and talk to you. Make sure you write down any questions because i assure you that you will forget them once you are there LOL I downloaded a game onto my phone so i would always have something to keep my brain occupied...that really helps...it seems like most of the time is spent waiting, so if you can take something like that, it will help.
Talk and speak up if there is something you need. It never fails, each time i go in for surgery, while im waiting to go in, i get cold...probably nerves, i tell the nurses, they get me blankets...i still am cold, they get me heated blankets, mmmmmmm, i'm still cold, they get me this hot air blanket that is divine!!!
The suggestion about comfy clothes is right on...very important to wear something that opens in the front, i was given that advice at the last minute and was SO GLAD that i wore a zip up!!! I always buy a new pair of "toe socks", the kind that have individual slot for your toes in them for my surgeries...kind of my good luck thing...the crazier design, the better. Always gets comments from doctors and nurses, and gets smiles from me too as people comment and laugh at them.
A small pillow for the ride home, possibly, for between you and the seatbelt...that might be helpful and make it more comfortable.

Take a deep breath....reality is hard, planning for the "future events" when you don't have definite dates etc., makes it still seem unreal in a way, but now reality is hitting you smack dab in the face. Hold on....we are here for you. I go in the day after you for my first part of reconstruction...we'll compare surgical "suites" when we're done.
{{{{{hugs, hugs, hugs}}}}}}

Akiss4me

Aurora,
glad you read my story!! When I was in your position....sleep was out of the question the night before. I was scared to death and my knees would not stop shaking!!!!

I think part of is was I could not have anything to eat after midnight. Wouldn't you know, right at the stroke of midnight, Bam!! I was starving. To make matters worse, every show on TV was about food that time of night!! I was sure it was a conspiracy because my stomach had become quite verbal!!

The best news.....I had the ok to take a xanax that morning before I left for the hospital and that was a tremendous help! My only added suggestion I can offer is to ask your Surgeon if he could allow you something to relax.

To answer your question about what to wear, I didn't even wear a bra there because I knew they would put a bra on me after surgery. Possibly call your surgeon and inquire about that. Good luck, DEEP breaths, take laps around your house (burns nervous energy), and before you know it....time will fly and you'll be waking up in recovery!! And we will be holing your hand through cyberspace!! Pammy

ps) look at the time I posted...I'm nervous about meeting the Oncologist in the AM to get my treatment plan. Think I'll be sleeping tonight? Nooooooooo

inquiring

Hello. I am new to this
Hello. I am new to this site but have already had my surgery and just wanted to remind you that you are not alone.

Two of my aunts went with me to the hospital. and they provided the distraction I needed. Comfortable clothes are recommended, but you will be wearing their attire shortly after you arrive, its just that you want as little fussing around when you are about to leave.

It takes time and depending on your situation they may need to do a localization, this is where that long thin wire comes into play, which would need to been done prior to surgery along with the injection for the dye to take effect.

Just a comical note. I had my surgery on Saint Patrick's Day and the dye turned my urine green. Who knew I could have this treat! I am not even Irish!!!


Anyway, I went to the hospital fairly early in the morning, I believe it was 7:30 or 8:00 am and did not get released until 5:00 pm. My surgery was delayed over an hour and it took me a little longer to recover, my blood pressure was not where they wanted it to be.

You can only control a few things that day, who you want to join you, your attitutude and what you will be bringing with you for entertainment.

Be patient and remember you are not alone.

Good luck on Wednesday. I am sending positive energy your way!!

susie09

inquiring said:

Hello. I am new to this
Hello. I am new to this site but have already had my surgery and just wanted to remind you that you are not alone.

Two of my aunts went with me to the hospital. and they provided the distraction I needed. Comfortable clothes are recommended, but you will be wearing their attire shortly after you arrive, its just that you want as little fussing around when you are about to leave.

It takes time and depending on your situation they may need to do a localization, this is where that long thin wire comes into play, which would need to been done prior to surgery along with the injection for the dye to take effect.

Just a comical note. I had my surgery on Saint Patrick's Day and the dye turned my urine green. Who knew I could have this treat! I am not even Irish!!!


Anyway, I went to the hospital fairly early in the morning, I believe it was 7:30 or 8:00 am and did not get released until 5:00 pm. My surgery was delayed over an hour and it took me a little longer to recover, my blood pressure was not where they wanted it to be.

You can only control a few things that day, who you want to join you, your attitutude and what you will be bringing with you for entertainment.

Be patient and remember you are not alone.

Good luck on Wednesday. I am sending positive energy your way!!

I just want to wish you good
I just want to wish you good luck with your surgery. And, I just wore jeans and a top that buttoned in the front, no bra. It takes awhile for them to get you ready for the surgery, hours actually, so, you need someone with you. My husband and some of my girlfriends were in the room with me almost the whole time. Good luck.

cats_toy

Aurora
Good luck on your surgery tomorrow! Your doc has probably already told you what you need to bring and how long the procedure should be. So, let us know as soon as you are able how it went
Cat

confused123

cats_toy said:

Aurora
Good luck on your surgery tomorrow! Your doc has probably already told you what you need to bring and how long the procedure should be. So, let us know as soon as you are able how it went
Cat

Good Luck with surgery.
You
Good Luck with surgery.

You asked what to wear...something easy to get over your head or a zip up, I have seen short sleeved zip up sweatshirts recently.

The surgery feels like it is over in a second,

Kim

dmc_emmy

Aurora-just sending you comforting thougts...
the others have given you good advice, and since I'm late posting anyway, you may not even see this until after surgery.

What I found, once the surgery was done, the site healed, and the emotional trauma lessened, was a sense of relief that I was now on the road to recovery. Though I wish there had been another way and that did not require surgery, I know that this was the beginning of me becoming well again.

We're all there for you Aurora.
dmc