How do you handle your emotions , its getting real tough seems like ??

tim4343
tim4343 Member Posts: 23
edited March 2014 in Emotional Support #1
Well you know they say men don,t cry , ?Right Well someone lied things seem to have just come full circle on me lately i guess the realization of things just have come home and hit i drove around this evening and all of a sudden i just started crying and just could not stop, for overan hour , have not started any treatments , just knowing whats coming and thinking about surgery , next month , and what i am in for . How do i deal i ask my self eys are all red and puffed up , have cried so much they hurt, Brains hurt too LOL I must admit i am just flat out scared !!!!If i am a wimp i guess thats what i am But Lord knows i am trying , Even having a problem just trying to eat makes me slap sick i think my nerves have just gotten the best of me just can,t get food down without it making me feel just sick so i just don,t eat If any one can just slap me and wake me up and tell me i am having a bad dream Please do so real soon ,,, thjats my wish but its not gonna happen just need an ear to listen to me i guess just venting and scared ok , Tim in North Fl

Comments

  • zahalene
    zahalene Member Posts: 670
    Just in case...
    you might be thinking you are not 'normal' for having these raging emotions, please let me assure you that what you are experiencing is universal among cancer survivors. In fact, we are created to be emotional beings and if we could not let the pressure off once in awhile we would explode like a pressure cooker with no escape valve. And that goes for men or women.
    I assume from your post that you have been diagnosed with some form of cancer fairly recently. The early days often seem chaotic. We have to deal with learning all this new stuff we never wanted to know about our condition, treatment options, prognosis, drugs we can't pronounce or spell, side effects, and so forth and so on.
    Your best tool is a handy-dandy notebook. You aren't going to remember everything you are told, so take notes. Also write down questions you think of that you want to ask your doctor. And record his answers. If possible, take a family member or good friend to all your doctor's appointments to be an extra pair of ears.
    Also, take some steps to simplify your life. Make things as easy as possible for yourself in regard to the mechanics of living for a time. Ask for help...this is not the time to be too independent.
    Once your treatment plan is in place and you have begun to do what you have to do to eradicate this disease you will begin to feel more in control. And that will serve to settle your emotions to some degree. However, many of us in this battle find that medications for depression and anxiety are great blessings. Don't hesitate to talk to your doctor about what is available and reasonable for your specific symptoms.
    And there is always professional help to be considered as well. Counseling can and often does help us get a grip on these mind-blowing crises of life.
    Bottom line, all these tools are for the purpose of helping you regain and maintain control of your life. That is why we call ourselves 'survivors' instead of victims. Surviving takes work and no one can or should attempt it on their own. And once you feel more in control it is likely that your extreme emotions will abate to a calmer level that you can tolerate better.
    God bless.
  • slickwilly
    slickwilly Member Posts: 334 Member
    zahalene said:

    Just in case...
    you might be thinking you are not 'normal' for having these raging emotions, please let me assure you that what you are experiencing is universal among cancer survivors. In fact, we are created to be emotional beings and if we could not let the pressure off once in awhile we would explode like a pressure cooker with no escape valve. And that goes for men or women.
    I assume from your post that you have been diagnosed with some form of cancer fairly recently. The early days often seem chaotic. We have to deal with learning all this new stuff we never wanted to know about our condition, treatment options, prognosis, drugs we can't pronounce or spell, side effects, and so forth and so on.
    Your best tool is a handy-dandy notebook. You aren't going to remember everything you are told, so take notes. Also write down questions you think of that you want to ask your doctor. And record his answers. If possible, take a family member or good friend to all your doctor's appointments to be an extra pair of ears.
    Also, take some steps to simplify your life. Make things as easy as possible for yourself in regard to the mechanics of living for a time. Ask for help...this is not the time to be too independent.
    Once your treatment plan is in place and you have begun to do what you have to do to eradicate this disease you will begin to feel more in control. And that will serve to settle your emotions to some degree. However, many of us in this battle find that medications for depression and anxiety are great blessings. Don't hesitate to talk to your doctor about what is available and reasonable for your specific symptoms.
    And there is always professional help to be considered as well. Counseling can and often does help us get a grip on these mind-blowing crises of life.
    Bottom line, all these tools are for the purpose of helping you regain and maintain control of your life. That is why we call ourselves 'survivors' instead of victims. Surviving takes work and no one can or should attempt it on their own. And once you feel more in control it is likely that your extreme emotions will abate to a calmer level that you can tolerate better.
    God bless.

    Emotions
    Hi Tim. I won't sit here and tell you things are going to get better in this part of your life. It takes time to learn coping skills to deal with cancer and all the problems that come with it. I do know its much easier if you have someone to lean on. A close friend that you trust and can share your thoughts with. A counselor. Someone in your area that is also dealing with cancer. Someone that can pull you out of that deep emotional hole we can dig when we start thinking too much about something. I tried drinking a few bottles of wine but that made things worse. I was lucky enough to have a female friend outside my family that I could talk too and dump my frustration on. And she was not afraid to kick me in the butt when I wanted to give up or needed motivation. Years after my cancer I found this site and its great. Just know that your perfectly normal and looking for help to deal with things is also perfectly normal. Best wishes Slickwilly
  • terato
    terato Member Posts: 375
    Tim,

    To react to a possible life-threatening situation without emotion is unhealthy at best. Hell, sailors cried after the devastation of Pearl Harbor. Elderly veterans cry when they view filmstrips of the Omaha Beach landing on D-Day. Even Vito Corleone cried on viewing the bullet-ridden corpse of Sonny! Many tough guys will cry, but only in private, it's what keeps them sane and emotionally healthy.

    When my diagnosis was confirmed, I drank nearly a half-bottle of Smirnoff Silver and "drunk dialed" all my friends. I even left a phone message for the G.P. who delivered me! About two hours later, I invited my then wife to go out for cheese cake and coffee. Suffice to say, we walked to the restaurant. The next morning, my head hurt like hell, but the tension that had gripped me since my visit to the urologist was gone.

    Tears relieve fears.

    Love and Courage!

    Rick
  • tonybear
    tonybear Member Posts: 90
    emotions
    two words humans don't like, both start with the letter "c". one is change and the other is cancer. when you deal with cancer you get both of those words. you are human and somewhere you need an emotional outlet, if it's tears, then let it be. i have been angry, cried, wondered what i did wrong, but it is all normal. this is a great site for emotional help, because no one but a cancer survivor can relate to someone with cancer. so breath, go relax at what ever relaxs you, fishing, walking, shooting pool. a plan of action will come about with the doctors and family, you can do this, you can win. tony
  • tim4343
    tim4343 Member Posts: 23
    Thanks to all
    Well after reading each post , each of you made a diffrence to me and if you really knew how much it means , You have settled my mind some , and it takes a load off of me just to read and know there are others that know what its like Thanks for making a difrfrence Tim in North Fl
  • lindaprocopio
    lindaprocopio Member Posts: 1,980
    tim4343 said:

    Thanks to all
    Well after reading each post , each of you made a diffrence to me and if you really knew how much it means , You have settled my mind some , and it takes a load off of me just to read and know there are others that know what its like Thanks for making a difrfrence Tim in North Fl

    I never cried harder for anyone else than I've cried for myself.
    When I got my diagnosis and realized what it might mean and the ordeal ahead of me, I cried so hard and so long,...harder than I'd ever cried before; harder than I cried when I lost my mother or when my brother committed suicide,.... crazy long unrelenting crying. I don't know what that says about me, and I'm not proud of my initial reaction, but that's what happened.

    And then I did what I know you will do. I got my game face on. Not every day at first, or even every other day, but more and more each day I started gearing up for the battle ahead. The first thing you can do to help yourself is EAT. Even if it is tasteless to you now in your new grief for yourself, you have to open your mouth and shove it in, so that your body will be in tip-top shape for battle. Preparing for battle will give you a PLAN, and give you some small measure of CONTROL over this beast. Get used to high fiber (which helps you deal with chemo so much better!) by starting now to eat a high-fiber cereal for breakfast, and have a big bowl of fresh spinach with a cut-up apple, cheese, hard-boiled egg, and some almonds for lunch each day. Eat some yogurt each day to start a habit that will help keep your digestion balanced during treatment. Experiment with the various Boost / Ensure flavors to find one you like and keep it on hand for bad days. Sleep 8 to 10 hours each day. Start a journal and have a place to jot down your questions for your oncologist so you'll be 'armed' for your appointments. Once you think of yourself as a warrior, and become a key member of your own survival team, a lot of the dispair melts away. There will still be dark nights every once in awhile, but they will get farther and longer apart. As I think Slickwilly told me here: "Get busy living or get busy dying".

    Just to put this in perspective, had I not been willing and able to put myself through the past 9 months of very aggressive surgery, chemo, and radiation, my statistical 5-year survival rate would be "0 to 14%". But my BATTLE improves my survival rate to 60%. Now I could think "wow; all of this additional treatment and I still have a 40% chance of dying anyway". Or I could think "60%!! Why would I not be in that lucky 60% group??" That's what I mean about girding yourself for battle. You have to get your body as strong as you can, and your head as optimistic as you can, in order to psyche yourself up for the long long ordeal ahead. Because you CAN win! And even if you don't, you want to go out swinging.
  • beckyracn
    beckyracn Member Posts: 322

    I never cried harder for anyone else than I've cried for myself.
    When I got my diagnosis and realized what it might mean and the ordeal ahead of me, I cried so hard and so long,...harder than I'd ever cried before; harder than I cried when I lost my mother or when my brother committed suicide,.... crazy long unrelenting crying. I don't know what that says about me, and I'm not proud of my initial reaction, but that's what happened.

    And then I did what I know you will do. I got my game face on. Not every day at first, or even every other day, but more and more each day I started gearing up for the battle ahead. The first thing you can do to help yourself is EAT. Even if it is tasteless to you now in your new grief for yourself, you have to open your mouth and shove it in, so that your body will be in tip-top shape for battle. Preparing for battle will give you a PLAN, and give you some small measure of CONTROL over this beast. Get used to high fiber (which helps you deal with chemo so much better!) by starting now to eat a high-fiber cereal for breakfast, and have a big bowl of fresh spinach with a cut-up apple, cheese, hard-boiled egg, and some almonds for lunch each day. Eat some yogurt each day to start a habit that will help keep your digestion balanced during treatment. Experiment with the various Boost / Ensure flavors to find one you like and keep it on hand for bad days. Sleep 8 to 10 hours each day. Start a journal and have a place to jot down your questions for your oncologist so you'll be 'armed' for your appointments. Once you think of yourself as a warrior, and become a key member of your own survival team, a lot of the dispair melts away. There will still be dark nights every once in awhile, but they will get farther and longer apart. As I think Slickwilly told me here: "Get busy living or get busy dying".

    Just to put this in perspective, had I not been willing and able to put myself through the past 9 months of very aggressive surgery, chemo, and radiation, my statistical 5-year survival rate would be "0 to 14%". But my BATTLE improves my survival rate to 60%. Now I could think "wow; all of this additional treatment and I still have a 40% chance of dying anyway". Or I could think "60%!! Why would I not be in that lucky 60% group??" That's what I mean about girding yourself for battle. You have to get your body as strong as you can, and your head as optimistic as you can, in order to psyche yourself up for the long long ordeal ahead. Because you CAN win! And even if you don't, you want to go out swinging.

    Tim,
    I have to agree with

    Tim,
    I have to agree with everything that everyone's said so far. It's a natural reaction to go into the fight or flight mode with a CA diagnosis. Choose the FIGHT! When I was diagnosed I couldn't cry...dumbfounded I guess. Also, my husband being a very simple man, was only concerned if I would sign a loan for him to buy a vintage car. On the evening of my diagnosis I stuffed my pockets with a few beers and told my husband, "lets go for a walk." We tromped up to the top of the hills behind our house and I chose a spot where we could look out on miles of beautiful landscape. I cracked a beer, sat in silence for a few minutes, then asked him if he understood that I had just been told I had a 20-30% chance of dying within 5 years, even with treatments. He just looked at me like I'd spoke in a foreign language. I signed the loan, he got his car. I decided that even if my dreams were broken at this time, it would be helpful to stay positive if I could watch his dreams come true.
    I eventually did start to cry, but only when I was alone or in the shower...heart wrenching at times. I didn't want anyone to know that this strong independent woman had a breaking point. I pulled into myself...stopped talking. I didn't know about this site and those around me couldn't understand what I was going through. Be very grateful for this site and all those here...I am. Only wish I had found it sooner!
    When treatments ended, simple minded husband thought everything would return to normal instantly...NOT. Several months after treatment ended and seemingly to run into one closed door after another, I did breakdown in front of him and sought comfort from him. Wished I'd done it sooner. How could he understand what I was experiencing when I wasn't willing to share? He's now become a mother hen...checks on me constantly.
    Things are getting better each day now. I'm in remission. Food has become a friend again :) Strength is coming back. Chemo fog is lifting. Smiles are genuine :) Hang in there...it's one heck of a rollercoaster ride!!
  • tim4343
    tim4343 Member Posts: 23
    beckyracn said:

    Tim,
    I have to agree with

    Tim,
    I have to agree with everything that everyone's said so far. It's a natural reaction to go into the fight or flight mode with a CA diagnosis. Choose the FIGHT! When I was diagnosed I couldn't cry...dumbfounded I guess. Also, my husband being a very simple man, was only concerned if I would sign a loan for him to buy a vintage car. On the evening of my diagnosis I stuffed my pockets with a few beers and told my husband, "lets go for a walk." We tromped up to the top of the hills behind our house and I chose a spot where we could look out on miles of beautiful landscape. I cracked a beer, sat in silence for a few minutes, then asked him if he understood that I had just been told I had a 20-30% chance of dying within 5 years, even with treatments. He just looked at me like I'd spoke in a foreign language. I signed the loan, he got his car. I decided that even if my dreams were broken at this time, it would be helpful to stay positive if I could watch his dreams come true.
    I eventually did start to cry, but only when I was alone or in the shower...heart wrenching at times. I didn't want anyone to know that this strong independent woman had a breaking point. I pulled into myself...stopped talking. I didn't know about this site and those around me couldn't understand what I was going through. Be very grateful for this site and all those here...I am. Only wish I had found it sooner!
    When treatments ended, simple minded husband thought everything would return to normal instantly...NOT. Several months after treatment ended and seemingly to run into one closed door after another, I did breakdown in front of him and sought comfort from him. Wished I'd done it sooner. How could he understand what I was experiencing when I wasn't willing to share? He's now become a mother hen...checks on me constantly.
    Things are getting better each day now. I'm in remission. Food has become a friend again :) Strength is coming back. Chemo fog is lifting. Smiles are genuine :) Hang in there...it's one heck of a rollercoaster ride!!

    Day by Day
    Each day that i come to the site i sit i read and more and more i understand how diffrent people are with cancer, your diffrent because you fight and i know i gain strength just from the support i get here the eating thing is reallya problem i let my emotions get in the way ihad 2 broiled chicken legs all day sunday and to day i just could not take in anything exscept a cup of yogurt but i promise myself i know i have too eat , i am 9 days out now before i have biopsy i have a list of meds they want me to stop taking each day as it gets closer so i am in a fight that i have to win .thanks for support .Tim in North fl
  • soccerfreaks
    soccerfreaks Member Posts: 2,788 Member
    tim4343 said:

    Day by Day
    Each day that i come to the site i sit i read and more and more i understand how diffrent people are with cancer, your diffrent because you fight and i know i gain strength just from the support i get here the eating thing is reallya problem i let my emotions get in the way ihad 2 broiled chicken legs all day sunday and to day i just could not take in anything exscept a cup of yogurt but i promise myself i know i have too eat , i am 9 days out now before i have biopsy i have a list of meds they want me to stop taking each day as it gets closer so i am in a fight that i have to win .thanks for support .Tim in North fl

    ?
    First a question: how do you know you are having surgery next month if you have not yet had a biopsy?

    Second, a response: whatever your answer to the question above, I would advise that you seek some immediate psychiatric assistance. If you are not eating more than a cup of yogurt a day due to your anxiety, then you are truly in need of therapy and perhaps some medication.

    As far as I can tell, you have not mentioned cancer in any of your posts. You DO mention an upcoming biopsy. Goodness gracious, great balls of fire!

    The two things you DO have to worry about are (apparently) your nutritional habits at the moment and (apparently) a pending biopsy.

    Take care,

    Joe
  • tim4343
    tim4343 Member Posts: 23

    ?
    First a question: how do you know you are having surgery next month if you have not yet had a biopsy?

    Second, a response: whatever your answer to the question above, I would advise that you seek some immediate psychiatric assistance. If you are not eating more than a cup of yogurt a day due to your anxiety, then you are truly in need of therapy and perhaps some medication.

    As far as I can tell, you have not mentioned cancer in any of your posts. You DO mention an upcoming biopsy. Goodness gracious, great balls of fire!

    The two things you DO have to worry about are (apparently) your nutritional habits at the moment and (apparently) a pending biopsy.

    Take care,

    Joe

    ????
    Well i can,t get angry at your response thats not in me 2nd i only stated i had yogurt today not everyday , 3rd The biopsy is a second step for me in regards to lymphoma , also skin lymphoma with me as far as needing a mind doctor i have the Best mind dr in the world and Thats God and thats all i need right now sometimes things people deal with are diffrent than what others think But That i leave to a higher power to handle, to others on this site thanks for your comments they have been greatly appreciated.This is the first negative i have recieved ,The one thing i guess after getting second opinions and numerous tests is to come here and read this comment, but its ok Life goes on negatives are always out there and you have to deal with it,thats life i know what lays ahead of me and i will deal with it but i guess anyway i guess i will stop here thanks again to all it, sbeen great and i appreciate the advice and those of you that pointed me in right direction and to the right people thanks I will keep each of you in my prayers No matter what happens Life is Good. Peace to All
  • beckyracn
    beckyracn Member Posts: 322
    tim4343 said:

    ????
    Well i can,t get angry at your response thats not in me 2nd i only stated i had yogurt today not everyday , 3rd The biopsy is a second step for me in regards to lymphoma , also skin lymphoma with me as far as needing a mind doctor i have the Best mind dr in the world and Thats God and thats all i need right now sometimes things people deal with are diffrent than what others think But That i leave to a higher power to handle, to others on this site thanks for your comments they have been greatly appreciated.This is the first negative i have recieved ,The one thing i guess after getting second opinions and numerous tests is to come here and read this comment, but its ok Life goes on negatives are always out there and you have to deal with it,thats life i know what lays ahead of me and i will deal with it but i guess anyway i guess i will stop here thanks again to all it, sbeen great and i appreciate the advice and those of you that pointed me in right direction and to the right people thanks I will keep each of you in my prayers No matter what happens Life is Good. Peace to All

    Hang in there Tim. What's
    Hang in there Tim. What's great about this site is that you will experience so many different view points/experiences. We're here for your ups, your downs, and your in betweens. Don't give up...keep posting!
  • zahalene
    zahalene Member Posts: 670
    tim4343 said:

    ????
    Well i can,t get angry at your response thats not in me 2nd i only stated i had yogurt today not everyday , 3rd The biopsy is a second step for me in regards to lymphoma , also skin lymphoma with me as far as needing a mind doctor i have the Best mind dr in the world and Thats God and thats all i need right now sometimes things people deal with are diffrent than what others think But That i leave to a higher power to handle, to others on this site thanks for your comments they have been greatly appreciated.This is the first negative i have recieved ,The one thing i guess after getting second opinions and numerous tests is to come here and read this comment, but its ok Life goes on negatives are always out there and you have to deal with it,thats life i know what lays ahead of me and i will deal with it but i guess anyway i guess i will stop here thanks again to all it, sbeen great and i appreciate the advice and those of you that pointed me in right direction and to the right people thanks I will keep each of you in my prayers No matter what happens Life is Good. Peace to All

    Tim, there is on need....
    to stop posting. Now that you have given us a little more information about your situation we can understand better how to be supportive and perhaps have more useful input.
    One of the great things about this site is that each response we receive presents to us a different perspective, sometimes offering thoughts and opinions that have not even crossed our minds, but which, upon reflection, have some value, even if only to remind us that God does not make 'cookie cutter' people and it is our individual uniqueness that makes our offerings to each other worth the read and consideration.
    God bless and I hope you will keep us informed of your progress.
  • RE
    RE Member Posts: 4,591 Member
    tim4343 said:

    ????
    Well i can,t get angry at your response thats not in me 2nd i only stated i had yogurt today not everyday , 3rd The biopsy is a second step for me in regards to lymphoma , also skin lymphoma with me as far as needing a mind doctor i have the Best mind dr in the world and Thats God and thats all i need right now sometimes things people deal with are diffrent than what others think But That i leave to a higher power to handle, to others on this site thanks for your comments they have been greatly appreciated.This is the first negative i have recieved ,The one thing i guess after getting second opinions and numerous tests is to come here and read this comment, but its ok Life goes on negatives are always out there and you have to deal with it,thats life i know what lays ahead of me and i will deal with it but i guess anyway i guess i will stop here thanks again to all it, sbeen great and i appreciate the advice and those of you that pointed me in right direction and to the right people thanks I will keep each of you in my prayers No matter what happens Life is Good. Peace to All

    :-)
    Tim, since you have faith I am hoping you can draw strength from the Lord to help to see you through this ordeal. I myself have had 3 cancer battles, too many surgeries, too much chemo and its a wonder I don't glow from all the rads. Through it all I have felt the Lords presence with me which is a great comfort. That certainly does not mean I don't cry and that I am not terrified, just because I have faith does not mean I am ready to check out at any time. I don't think anyone here wishes you harm, as with any community we all have different opinions which can conflict with our own beliefs; please do not take these as personal attacks. You say God is your mind doctor and that's all you need, Tim along with God there are many professionals who can assist you with the stress you are feeling. There are meds they can give you (it is not a sign of weakness and it does not make you less Godly to take them) they will help to ease the anxiety you have. If you can seek out the medical field to assist you in your battle with lymphoma you can also seek them out to assist you with the anxiety. God is not here to smite your enimes, rather he is here to care for them as he does you.....please understand we are all in the same boat so to speak and we can all learn from each other. I wish you only the best.

    RE
  • blueroses
    blueroses Member Posts: 524
    You aren't alone Tim
    What you are feeling is very common with survivors - especially just before all the treatments start, often just after diagnosis. Even just the threat of cancer can bring all of this on as well, no doubt about it It's alot to take in, all is so new and scarey and it seems as if you may be leaving your old life behind. I truly believe it's healthy to cry it out, I sure did and every now and again I still do when too many tests are taking place or any new symptoms rear their ugly heads and you wonder 'oh no not again?' I think it would be very strange if you didn't feel all that you are feeling.

    Actually at this point I am very worried that I may have another cancer. I had non hodgkins lymphoma 20 years ago with on recurrance and then nothing for 18 years. A month or so ago they found a node in my ovary and it took me a few days but I went into anxiety fits just at the thought that it COULD BE cancer so I understand what you are saying in spades. Could it be? What if? the questions go on and on and with them all the worries of what might be. You aren't alone there.

    For me I went through what you are going through, right after diagnosis, and there came a point for me where my anxieties got too much for me and I asked my doctor for some anti anxiety meds. I didn't feel depressed, but many do, and the smart thing to do if you feel yourself too anxious or depressed is ask for some meds to get you through the rough spots. When you need them you need them, I did and still do on and off. I am not on them all the time by any means but like I said when I hit a rough spot I take an anti anxiety med and it just takes the edge off. I usually don't need them for more than a couple of days but everyone is different.

    I know that sometimes, it is said, that men don't like taking mood enhancing medications but that's silly, men are people too - the last I looked - and if you feel that your life is hurting due to anxiety or depression then do the right thing and talk with your doc about some help for the rough times. Sometimes we just need them for a bit to give us a break from the stresses of the cancer journey.

    You will find this board very helpful in connecting with other survivors and those who fear that they might be diagnosed (just looking for information and guidance), as you have probably already found, and by the way there is no such thing as a 'wuss' on these pages. Give yourself a break, don't come down on yourself too hard for feeling as you do sometimes - cancer, or the possibility of it, sucks in many many ways and it's healthy to get it out when you need to and take care of it with meds if it gets overpowering and overwhelming.

    We are here for you Tim, anytime. Take care. Blessings, Blueroses
  • blueroses
    blueroses Member Posts: 524
    tim4343 said:

    ????
    Well i can,t get angry at your response thats not in me 2nd i only stated i had yogurt today not everyday , 3rd The biopsy is a second step for me in regards to lymphoma , also skin lymphoma with me as far as needing a mind doctor i have the Best mind dr in the world and Thats God and thats all i need right now sometimes things people deal with are diffrent than what others think But That i leave to a higher power to handle, to others on this site thanks for your comments they have been greatly appreciated.This is the first negative i have recieved ,The one thing i guess after getting second opinions and numerous tests is to come here and read this comment, but its ok Life goes on negatives are always out there and you have to deal with it,thats life i know what lays ahead of me and i will deal with it but i guess anyway i guess i will stop here thanks again to all it, sbeen great and i appreciate the advice and those of you that pointed me in right direction and to the right people thanks I will keep each of you in my prayers No matter what happens Life is Good. Peace to All

    Tim don't listen to negative and judgmental people please
    Tim, please don't let that judgmental, negative posting to you upset you. There are ways of saying things that should be done in a compassionate and caring way and that sure wasn't it. There should be no harsh comments or judgmental suggestions on this site, we are all dealing with a difficult situation each in our own ways and we all deserve respect and understanding. You will find that from most people on the site as you have seen.

    As far as emotional help in all of this is concerned, I personally found certain rough spots in the cancer journey for me very overwhelming and I asked for anti-anxiety meds which helped a great deal, and I know many others have done that as well, when they really needed them. The only thing you should be aware of is that even though all your feelings are totally normal for this cancer journey if you find that any of your emotions start to interfere with your life in a negative way it might be time to entertain the idea of speaking to your doc about them. We all should. It's just smart to take care of your emotions as it is to another part of your body that is hurting. Our emotions hurt during this struggle sometimes, they need relief too.

    If religion is the way you are more comfortable with then so be it. I know that I couldn't have gotten through my cancer journey without my faith for sure.

    Know that we are all here for you and as you have seen most people are understanding, validating and caring. Don't let one abrupt, judgmental person drive you away from a place online like this where you will find answers, understanding and validation.

    Take care and I look forward to more of your postings. Blessings, Blueroses
  • LisaD67
    LisaD67 Member Posts: 25
    tim4343 said:

    Day by Day
    Each day that i come to the site i sit i read and more and more i understand how diffrent people are with cancer, your diffrent because you fight and i know i gain strength just from the support i get here the eating thing is reallya problem i let my emotions get in the way ihad 2 broiled chicken legs all day sunday and to day i just could not take in anything exscept a cup of yogurt but i promise myself i know i have too eat , i am 9 days out now before i have biopsy i have a list of meds they want me to stop taking each day as it gets closer so i am in a fight that i have to win .thanks for support .Tim in North fl

    Having Cancer turned my world upside down. Then the Divorce, starting over, and dating thing is hard enough. I just found out that I have a problem with my heart. Evidently, a past virus weakened the muscles in my heart, affecting my whole heart. Now I face tests for this and still haven't had my five year tests for my cancer. We can all be strong, but it's ok to be scared. I can't remember when the last time was that I wasn't scared, worried, angry, or cried endlessly. The people here have helped me so much as well as my two adult kids and my Aunt. I know I'm not alone, but I feel really lonely alot of the time. My head knows my family and friends are here for me always, it's just a sad feeling in my heart. I too questioned what did I do wrong. And believe it or not that one of the first things my doc said to me, "You did nothing wrong." We are all dealing with cancer and together we'll be ok. I will always appreciate the kind words and advice from everyone here. And Tim, my thoughts and prayers are with you and our friends. Lisa