calling all stage 4 with mets to liver, start chemo tomorrow need positive feedback

ittapp

Start first chemo treatment tomorrow, so scared....stage 4 mets to liver, colon resection on the 14 of May. Need some positive feedback that I can fight this and become NED Please!!!

JR

You will do fine.
ittapp,
I know exactly how you are feeling. Been there. I was dx last November with stage 4 cc, mets to liver (fully involved) and a few mets to both lungs. Resection just before Thanksgiving. Couldn't start chemo until March due to some unrelated problems. But, I'll have my 8th treatment next week and everything is going well. You will get started just fine. I think that the first one is the easiest. The side effects are different for everyone so don't worry yourself about them. Deal with them as they present themselves. Good luck tomorrow. Take a book, ipod, etc.

John

Sundanceh

There is Hope
Hi there!
I know where you are coming from as I've been down the road you are about to travel. In fact, I'm still on that road. Let me tell you what I've learned.

I started with colorectal cancer back in 2004 and had to have a resection just missing a colostomy by mere millimeters. I was very fortunate there. I had chemo and radiation that year.

Less than 2 years later, it metastasized to my liver. We originally tried for a liver resection, but ended up doing an RFA - radio frequency ablation that got most of the tumor. Then I had to do 3 CyberKnife treatments (laser like highly concertrated radiation) to eradicate the remainder of that tumor.

And this time the "real" chemo was used on me. They put me on Oxaliplatin, which is a platinum based 3rd generation chemo drug. They combined with that with Avastin and Xeloda and I was doing all of those for a little over 8 months. The chemo does have some very bad side effects, I won't lie to you, but you just take the good days with the bad days. Please give it all you've got - you've got a big fight ahead, just like I had.

I actually found that getting chemo in the Infusion labs could sometimes be nice. What I mean is that sometimes you get some good people with good outlooks and you end up talking through the whole thing - sharing each other stories and pains and victories - and talking about life.

Right now, it looks like the Cancer has come back again on me and spread to the pleura of my lungs - the colon cancers go from colon-liver-lung.

I'm getting a 2nd opinion and have received some new ideas on what might be the next step. Probably a thoractomy (chest surgery) and more chemo.

Through it all, I've mostly maintained a good, positive attitude, and feel determined and hopeful that we might get this thing here or at least keep going.

I'm 5 years into my fight now at only 47 years of age, so I keep fighting as hard as I can.

My Cancer has changed me as a person and I've reconnected with family and write inspirational letters and emails and such and myself and others have seen the metamorphosis in me changing to become a better person. It's ironic that what has tried to kill me, has actually made me a better person. One of life's twists I guess. So now, I try to give and help others as much as I can and that makes me feel good.

I feel like God is keeping me around for a reason and I try and use my Cancer and my story to help educate and inspire others of what Cancer CANNOT DO to you.

I stumbled on this board about 8 or 9 days ago, and have been posting to alot of people telling them about my experiences and what I've learned, so that I can be of service in their fight. This has really helped me alot. This is a great site and there are some pretty nice people here sharing their experiences - wished I had found this years earlier in my fight - I was going at it pretty much alone with just my heart and courage. Reading others experiences makes me realize that I am not alone - and neither are you - all of us are here for each other and that's a truly amazing gift.

If you need to talk, let me know and I will talk to you about your concerns - I know there are many - I'm still knee deep myself.

Stay as positive as you can (it's normal to get down a day or 2 here and there), be your own medical advocate, question your doctor, and get a 2nd opionion if you have any concerns or something does not feel right.

I sincerely hoped that I have helped you some.

-Craig

mom_2_3

My experience so far...
Ittapp,

You can click on my username to read my entire history but basics are this:

11/10/08 (my 39th birthday): confirmation that the nodule found during my scheduled c-section 6 days previous was cancer. Staged at Level 4 with 5 bilobar liver mets, largest being over 5 cm large. Initial consultation with an oncologist where I was told I was inoperable and would do chemo only.

11/18/08: My husband's cousin is acquintance of renowned oncologist at Memorial Sloan Kettering and within 8 days of my diagnosis she had all my records (thanks to my cousin) and agreed to see me. At that meeting she said she could not give a prognosis because everyone is different and responds differently to treatment. She said we would do 4 sessions (2 months) of chemo (FOLFOX only) and then re-scan. She said from that scan we would decide to either go into colon surgery only and implant something called an HAI pump which is a chemo pump directly into the liver (this was if I had no response) or continue on chemo (if I was getting a response).

11/24/08 - 2/9/09: completed 4 sessions of chemo and got results from CT scan. Liver mets went down by 40%. Meeting with liver surgeon on 2/9 who said we would go into surgery on 2/20/09. I was shocked by the speed at which surgery was scheduled.

2/20/09: Surgery at Memorial Hospital in NYC. I had 2 surgical teams. First team had an amazing liver surgeon and his fellow (I loved them!) who removed my left liver lobe and did a wedge resection on the right side. They also removed my gallbladder and implanted an HAI pump. The colon team came in next and did my resection. I was in surgery almost 8 hours. During the surgery the liver surgeon did an MRI on the rest of my liver and it was clean. Doctors told me I was NED.

3/18/09: CT scan confirms NED. Started chemo therapy (adjuvant therapy) directly to my liver pump. Current schedule has me get systemic therapy every 2 weeks and liver-directed chemo every 5 weeks. I will continue this for 6 cycles (to October).

6/3/09: CT scan continues to confirm NED. Oncologist said median time to recurrence is 14 months so that is my first goal...to be NED another 11 months. She also said that 2 years is another milestone so after I hopefully clean 11 more months I will then get to 2 years without recurrence. In order to help my body I exercise (vigorously) 5-6 days a week and I also juice every day. In fact we just got back from our vacation and I brought my juicer with me!

So go into your chemo tomorrow with optimism that all will go well. My side effects from chemo have been neglible and I tolerate the treatment very well. I hope you have the same experience!

Amy

Paula G.

Sundanceh said:

There is Hope
Hi there!
I know where you are coming from as I've been down the road you are about to travel. In fact, I'm still on that road. Let me tell you what I've learned.

I started with colorectal cancer back in 2004 and had to have a resection just missing a colostomy by mere millimeters. I was very fortunate there. I had chemo and radiation that year.

Less than 2 years later, it metastasized to my liver. We originally tried for a liver resection, but ended up doing an RFA - radio frequency ablation that got most of the tumor. Then I had to do 3 CyberKnife treatments (laser like highly concertrated radiation) to eradicate the remainder of that tumor.

And this time the "real" chemo was used on me. They put me on Oxaliplatin, which is a platinum based 3rd generation chemo drug. They combined with that with Avastin and Xeloda and I was doing all of those for a little over 8 months. The chemo does have some very bad side effects, I won't lie to you, but you just take the good days with the bad days. Please give it all you've got - you've got a big fight ahead, just like I had.

I actually found that getting chemo in the Infusion labs could sometimes be nice. What I mean is that sometimes you get some good people with good outlooks and you end up talking through the whole thing - sharing each other stories and pains and victories - and talking about life.

Right now, it looks like the Cancer has come back again on me and spread to the pleura of my lungs - the colon cancers go from colon-liver-lung.

I'm getting a 2nd opinion and have received some new ideas on what might be the next step. Probably a thoractomy (chest surgery) and more chemo.

Through it all, I've mostly maintained a good, positive attitude, and feel determined and hopeful that we might get this thing here or at least keep going.

I'm 5 years into my fight now at only 47 years of age, so I keep fighting as hard as I can.

My Cancer has changed me as a person and I've reconnected with family and write inspirational letters and emails and such and myself and others have seen the metamorphosis in me changing to become a better person. It's ironic that what has tried to kill me, has actually made me a better person. One of life's twists I guess. So now, I try to give and help others as much as I can and that makes me feel good.

I feel like God is keeping me around for a reason and I try and use my Cancer and my story to help educate and inspire others of what Cancer CANNOT DO to you.

I stumbled on this board about 8 or 9 days ago, and have been posting to alot of people telling them about my experiences and what I've learned, so that I can be of service in their fight. This has really helped me alot. This is a great site and there are some pretty nice people here sharing their experiences - wished I had found this years earlier in my fight - I was going at it pretty much alone with just my heart and courage. Reading others experiences makes me realize that I am not alone - and neither are you - all of us are here for each other and that's a truly amazing gift.

If you need to talk, let me know and I will talk to you about your concerns - I know there are many - I'm still knee deep myself.

Stay as positive as you can (it's normal to get down a day or 2 here and there), be your own medical advocate, question your doctor, and get a 2nd opionion if you have any concerns or something does not feel right.

I sincerely hoped that I have helped you some.

-Craig

Hope
Craig, your story inspired me. My husband JR answered this post as well. I feel this site has helped us and I know it will help you and ittap. We have just started out journey down this long evil road. There is hope!!! Good luck Paula G.

kimby

Hope
I'm not quite 2 years out from diagnosis. I'm stage IV with mets to the liver and distant (celiac) lymph nodes. I'm not NED but I'm with his brother "No Evidence of Active Disease". Yah! You can do this and we'll help get you there. Come and let us help keep your spirits up. And go have some FUN! That will help more than anything, honest.

Kimby

Sundanceh

Paula G. said:

Hope
Craig, your story inspired me. My husband JR answered this post as well. I feel this site has helped us and I know it will help you and ittap. We have just started out journey down this long evil road. There is hope!!! Good luck Paula G.

Paula
Thank you so much for your kind words! Made my eyes water up with happiness. I'm glad that you were able to get something out of my post. I am trying to help any way that I can.

Cancer has taught me to think outside of myself and try to be a joy to others as well as trying to help and educate from my own front-line experiences; many of which I have not even listed. I'm new to the site, so I've just been responding and reaching out to others.

Most of my 5-year battle has been alone - just me, my thoughts, my hopes, my dreams, my fears, my heart and my courage. That's a lonely road but I am a pretty strong individual, so I've been able to make it through 2 diagnosis and waiting on confirmation for the 3rd time.

It never gets easier to hear it though - always the same feelings, except I've never gone for denial, I knew I had it the 1st time. The 2nd time was harder, because I knew what I was in for PLUS so much more this time and it made me mad.

A blessing from God that I found this site quite accidentally. Most people don't want to talk to you and don't have the depth and understanding to try and get it. At least here, there is a community of people and it opened my eyes that I was among many, many people fighting the same or similar thing.

It saddens me there are so many of us so sick. But, everyone here has such a great attitude for the things that they have gone or are going through.

I've always talked about "CONNECTION" in this world. One human being to another with honest feelings and emotions - and I've finally found it on this site. That's a beautiful GIFT that we can give to one another, one of God's greatest hits.

I'm hoping and praying for the best for you and JR - let me know if I can ever help you. I'll keep my foot on the gas over here and try to get some answers for my latest dilemma as well.

Glad my words helped you, I've been told I missed my calling and should have been a writer. But it makes me feel good when I get a genuine response that has touched someone - again The connection.

Take care
-Craig

Shayenne

kimby said:

Hope
I'm not quite 2 years out from diagnosis. I'm stage IV with mets to the liver and distant (celiac) lymph nodes. I'm not NED but I'm with his brother "No Evidence of Active Disease". Yah! You can do this and we'll help get you there. Come and let us help keep your spirits up. And go have some FUN! That will help more than anything, honest.

Kimby

Craig,
Welcome to this site, I love reading your posts, and find you very inspirational as well. It's so sad that in 5 years, you have done this alone, but know that, you are not alone anymore and we are with you! I have my family, but it seems people in the small town here, they hear you have cancer, and they immediately look at you like you're a walking dead person, I hardly have anyone even call me anymore, except nice church people that do send me cards on the mail who I don't even know, but because I'm on some prayer lists, these people do send cards, other then that, I have very few friends, and around my family, I don't like to act scared or anything, I try to be myself, which I should, I am hoping that God has me on this earth for awhile, I'm not ready to leave my kids yet, my mom died when I was young, and I sure don't want that for my kids, growing up like that.

It's been a real pleasure reading your posts, I learn alot from you, you have a great attitude, and that's what it's all about, just keep on going, and live everyday like it will be your last. I'm hoping to be around as long as you!

Hugsss!
~Donna

Sundanceh

Shayenne said:

Craig,
Welcome to this site, I love reading your posts, and find you very inspirational as well. It's so sad that in 5 years, you have done this alone, but know that, you are not alone anymore and we are with you! I have my family, but it seems people in the small town here, they hear you have cancer, and they immediately look at you like you're a walking dead person, I hardly have anyone even call me anymore, except nice church people that do send me cards on the mail who I don't even know, but because I'm on some prayer lists, these people do send cards, other then that, I have very few friends, and around my family, I don't like to act scared or anything, I try to be myself, which I should, I am hoping that God has me on this earth for awhile, I'm not ready to leave my kids yet, my mom died when I was young, and I sure don't want that for my kids, growing up like that.

It's been a real pleasure reading your posts, I learn alot from you, you have a great attitude, and that's what it's all about, just keep on going, and live everyday like it will be your last. I'm hoping to be around as long as you!

Hugsss!
~Donna

Thank You, Donna!!!
Hi, Donna

You brought tears to my eyes tonight after I got in from work; but they were good tears. You echoed alot of what I felt - it takes a disease like this for you to really "know" people.

But just when you are ready to give up on people, God points you in another direction. I have found ya'll.....and now you have found me. I feel like I am of some use now for those of us and our caregivers who are dealt with playing these cards. It's great just to be able to work and try to hold onto your house, but to be able to "touch" others is the greatest gift that we can give each other.

And I know you are going to be here for a long time and get to raise your family and make the most out of everything! You have a lovely spirit and are full of enthusiasm and comfort and I've read alot of your posts too - I was wondering where our paths would cross.

Thank you for such a warm and wonderful welcome! And thank you for such kind words, I really appreciate that. Reading that I have reached someone and made an impression is such a warm and wonderful feeling and that makes it worth living.

I'm praying for a good outcome for you and am interested in how you progress. I'm waiting on some results from a 2nd opinion I got a few days ago and we'll see which direction I take from there.

Tell you what...as Tom Bodet of Motel 6 used to say....."I'll leave a light on for you." See you when you get here. I'm at 5 and counting and I know you are right behind me.

Take care and thanks so much!
-Craig

scouty

Hey There
I was dxed stage IV with mets to my liver and left lung April 2004 and am now 4 1/2 years NED (no evidence of disease). You can read the rest of my story by clicking on my avatar.

Also there was another calling all stage IVs just a few weeks ago that you can do a search on to read other inspirational stories. Search on calling all stage IVs and stage 4s. Also do a search on calling all semi-colons and read about over 125 people's stories, all stages but quite a few stage IVs too.

Good luck tomorrow!

Lisa P.

PS. If you weren't scared, then I wouldn't think you were human!!!

Nana b

liver resection 4/18
I went today for my 7th round of chemo. Good news is thy my CEA level is down to normal range 2.0, which tells my oncologist that the chemo is working for me, so hopefully in September when I have my scans, I will be NED. Praying that it is!

I try and stay positive, and am a positive person by nature, I don't have bad days, that is not until the cancer diagnosis. Now, I get upset that I can't do what I love, .....finish working on this 100 year old house, cook, work in the garden. All I could do was lay arund after my surgery.

Now I am back at work, and the energy is coming back and I am just excited not to be laying around.

NED!!! I can't wait to hear those words, so I can get back to me and appreciate life.

You will be just fine, you will come out of this......just be sure to take your nausea meds.

Smailes and Laughter..........Nana B

oh, I have to add the nurses at my chemo clinic are angels, they go the extra mile to do everything for us, so be at ease and don't be afraid to ask your nurses questions and let them know what is bothering you. I had a bad nausea experience last treatment, and they wanted to give me amend but my co-pay was so high that I said forget it. They gave me some in my IV and gave me free samples for the other two days of treatment. They did this just to make me comfortable, and even stayed until 7 pm so I could get it through my IV. So, really, let them know if something is bothering you. I read on these posts that most oncology nurses are really good and caring.

eric38

Nana b said:

liver resection 4/18
I went today for my 7th round of chemo. Good news is thy my CEA level is down to normal range 2.0, which tells my oncologist that the chemo is working for me, so hopefully in September when I have my scans, I will be NED. Praying that it is!

I try and stay positive, and am a positive person by nature, I don't have bad days, that is not until the cancer diagnosis. Now, I get upset that I can't do what I love, .....finish working on this 100 year old house, cook, work in the garden. All I could do was lay arund after my surgery.

Now I am back at work, and the energy is coming back and I am just excited not to be laying around.

NED!!! I can't wait to hear those words, so I can get back to me and appreciate life.

You will be just fine, you will come out of this......just be sure to take your nausea meds.

Smailes and Laughter..........Nana B

oh, I have to add the nurses at my chemo clinic are angels, they go the extra mile to do everything for us, so be at ease and don't be afraid to ask your nurses questions and let them know what is bothering you. I had a bad nausea experience last treatment, and they wanted to give me amend but my co-pay was so high that I said forget it. They gave me some in my IV and gave me free samples for the other two days of treatment. They did this just to make me comfortable, and even stayed until 7 pm so I could get it through my IV. So, really, let them know if something is bothering you. I read on these posts that most oncology nurses are really good and caring.

Craig - You are right. This
Craig - You are right. This place is a God send and I am glad you found people to share your plight with. This can be lonely even when you have people around because as you said most people do not have the depth of understanding to get what we are going through and people by mere nature want to avoid the negative and take the Thank God it`s not me approach. I am fortunate enough to have friends and family to support me and while my friends sympathize they really don`t know what to say and tend to blow it off. The family has been great but ultimately other than outside support this is something we all have to go through alone because we all are so different have our own experiences. Noone can get inside your head except God and you. I was surrounded by people who cared when I was first diagnosed but I remember feeling so lonely like I was on the outside looking in. I found myself looking at my family and imagining what life would be like for them without me and seeing how they interact with each other when I am not around. I just assumed with liver involvement that I was an automatic dead man and that I didn`t have long to live. Thanks to my oncologist keeping focus off of the negative, some encouraging words by my surgeon, and the good people on this site I have realized that this is not necessarily a death sentence and have become more positive and time has taken some of the sting off it and allowed me to feel less alone. I am now able to have a sense of humor about it because that is how I cope. I even joke with my friends and use cancer as an excuse for everything. They will tell me about a problem and I will say things like "oh yeah, I have stage 4 colon cancer" Sometimes they will just laugh or reply by saying " When you put it that way my problems sound pretty good." I have a friend who calls me Biohazard and it cracks me up. Was I late? - so sorry, I have cancer. Was I supposed to come to work? - so sorry, I have cancer. I have stage 4 colon cancer and chemo brain - What`s your excuse?

Eric

Shayenne

Sundanceh said:

Thank You, Donna!!!
Hi, Donna

You brought tears to my eyes tonight after I got in from work; but they were good tears. You echoed alot of what I felt - it takes a disease like this for you to really "know" people.

But just when you are ready to give up on people, God points you in another direction. I have found ya'll.....and now you have found me. I feel like I am of some use now for those of us and our caregivers who are dealt with playing these cards. It's great just to be able to work and try to hold onto your house, but to be able to "touch" others is the greatest gift that we can give each other.

And I know you are going to be here for a long time and get to raise your family and make the most out of everything! You have a lovely spirit and are full of enthusiasm and comfort and I've read alot of your posts too - I was wondering where our paths would cross.

Thank you for such a warm and wonderful welcome! And thank you for such kind words, I really appreciate that. Reading that I have reached someone and made an impression is such a warm and wonderful feeling and that makes it worth living.

I'm praying for a good outcome for you and am interested in how you progress. I'm waiting on some results from a 2nd opinion I got a few days ago and we'll see which direction I take from there.

Tell you what...as Tom Bodet of Motel 6 used to say....."I'll leave a light on for you." See you when you get here. I'm at 5 and counting and I know you are right behind me.

Take care and thanks so much!
-Craig

You ....
...are doing a wonderful job with talking people on here about it, I think the same thing, I try to help and comfort people if I can, I feel useless at times, especially during chemo week, when I'm even too tired to do anything, and my kids are the ones taking care of me then, but I even talk to moms at the ballfield, who are curious as to what's wrong with me, since they hear their kids'friends mom is sick, and I try to persuade them to get early colonoscopies, I mean, I asked for a colonoscopy 3 years ago, but my doctor said I didn't need one till I was 50! and here I am, already Stage 4, at 44 with 4 kids, and if she would have picked this up earlier, I may have had a better chance with early diagnosis.

I hope your cancer didn't come back, wow, how do you work with it? I had to quit my job, because the chemo really wears me out, but I wish all good things for you, I will let you know of my progression, I usually post whining sometimes and need uplifting moments at times lol...

You also better pm with your addy for our Christmas List as well, It's gonna take awhile to get, but you bet your booty you will be getting a card this Christmas! or Hanukkah, or even if you don't celebrate anything, I'd want to send something!

I knew our paths would cross sometime, I try to get to everyone if I can help them or if I been in their shoes, but I'm a newbie here as well, so I try to be there to comfort at least, it's great getting to know new people, and I Know you'll be around here for a long time as well, I'm glad you found your way here, and I wouldn't give up on people, I know I probably wouldn't know what to say much to people with cancer either, I guess I'm talkative by nature anyway, but it's nice to just even answer and chat with people who have cancer. I met a woman who had breast cancer on the ballfield, while watching my girls game, and told her how thinning my hair was, and she brought me a catalogue of scarves, wigs and hats to show me what's out there to even order for that, it was nice of her, and now we just chit chat about our treatments. She's on the pills now, and has passed her 3 year mark, and she's doing really well, it's given me alot of hope meeting inspiring people like yourself, but I didn't mean to make you cry, I usually am the cryer lol.. heck, I even cry at Kodak commercials LOL....

You just keep staying around here to let us know how you're progressing as well, we want to be with you all the way too! I look forward to it! and you can talk to me anytime!

Hugssss!
~Donna

Sundanceh

eric38 said:

Craig - You are right. This
Craig - You are right. This place is a God send and I am glad you found people to share your plight with. This can be lonely even when you have people around because as you said most people do not have the depth of understanding to get what we are going through and people by mere nature want to avoid the negative and take the Thank God it`s not me approach. I am fortunate enough to have friends and family to support me and while my friends sympathize they really don`t know what to say and tend to blow it off. The family has been great but ultimately other than outside support this is something we all have to go through alone because we all are so different have our own experiences. Noone can get inside your head except God and you. I was surrounded by people who cared when I was first diagnosed but I remember feeling so lonely like I was on the outside looking in. I found myself looking at my family and imagining what life would be like for them without me and seeing how they interact with each other when I am not around. I just assumed with liver involvement that I was an automatic dead man and that I didn`t have long to live. Thanks to my oncologist keeping focus off of the negative, some encouraging words by my surgeon, and the good people on this site I have realized that this is not necessarily a death sentence and have become more positive and time has taken some of the sting off it and allowed me to feel less alone. I am now able to have a sense of humor about it because that is how I cope. I even joke with my friends and use cancer as an excuse for everything. They will tell me about a problem and I will say things like "oh yeah, I have stage 4 colon cancer" Sometimes they will just laugh or reply by saying " When you put it that way my problems sound pretty good." I have a friend who calls me Biohazard and it cracks me up. Was I late? - so sorry, I have cancer. Was I supposed to come to work? - so sorry, I have cancer. I have stage 4 colon cancer and chemo brain - What`s your excuse?

Eric

Thanks, Eric
Thanks, Eric
Thanks for your post. When I heard liver, I thought too, this was it. They thought it was in my pancreas and that really shook me, because no matter what they say, Pancreatic cancer really has a "short shelf life." Then told me it was liver and I felt a little bit better like maybe there was a chance - sort of like out of the frying pan into the fire.

It's unfortunate that people can't be a little more empathetic, but you said it right, "As long as it's not me." But, I guess it takes something like this to wake us up. I suppose that is why I try and help people not only here, but everywhere, because of the way I was ignored. People see you in the hall and scatter like cockroaches when the lights are turned on. It makes you feel less human, but I just have kept my head up, continued to try and be friendly, and just chalk it off to they do not know any better, at least right now.

You hang in there and I'm following you and everybody that I've met. I go to bed thinking about everybody and how they are doing, seriously. Each of us will have a big POST party when we get well.

Take care for now.
-Craig

kayb48

Ifound out on Christmas Eve
Ifound out on Christmas Eve 2008 that I had stage 4 colon cancer.I had scans and it was outside the colon wall and I had a small spot on my liver, the Dr told me I didn't have a lot of hope. I now call him Dr Gloom and Doom.I had about 3 inches of my colon removed the surgean could not get the spot on my liver out because of its location.I had 1 lymph node affected. i started chemo in Febuary after 5 rounds my onc wanted a second opinion and sent me to a liver speacialt. he did a liver resection 4 weeks ago. I am now NED but I will start back with the chemo on monday to be sure because it had been in my blood. I will have 7 rounds to finish out the 12 required.I am glad I did not listen to Dr Doom and Gloom because 6 months later I feel better than I have in years.Kay

eric38

Sundanceh said:

Thanks, Eric
Thanks, Eric
Thanks for your post. When I heard liver, I thought too, this was it. They thought it was in my pancreas and that really shook me, because no matter what they say, Pancreatic cancer really has a "short shelf life." Then told me it was liver and I felt a little bit better like maybe there was a chance - sort of like out of the frying pan into the fire.

It's unfortunate that people can't be a little more empathetic, but you said it right, "As long as it's not me." But, I guess it takes something like this to wake us up. I suppose that is why I try and help people not only here, but everywhere, because of the way I was ignored. People see you in the hall and scatter like cockroaches when the lights are turned on. It makes you feel less human, but I just have kept my head up, continued to try and be friendly, and just chalk it off to they do not know any better, at least right now.

You hang in there and I'm following you and everybody that I've met. I go to bed thinking about everybody and how they are doing, seriously. Each of us will have a big POST party when we get well.

Take care for now.
-Craig

This experience really has
This experience really has caused me to have more empathy for other people and I too am morphing into a better person. I am more apt to compliment others freely and voice their positive attributes. Things I have held back in the past. I also try to help other people by sharing my story but by nature I have never had a poor me attitude and although I do need the support and encouragement of others I never want anyone to feel sorry for me, but it is nice to know people care. I genuinely care about what is going on with you and the others on this site and your victories are not only an encouragement to me but they are my victories too. I also feel the disappointments because as we all know there are also the set backs. Please keep me updated and I will pray that you will soon be N.E.D. and will remain so.

Eric

Betsydoglover

Itapp - It is not all gloom
Itapp - It is not all gloom and doom.

I was diagnosed 5/05 Stage IV with liver met.

I had a laparoscopic sigmoid colectomy in 6/05 and did 6 cycles of Xeloda/oxaliplatin/Avastin. I was on the "chemo forever plan", but after 2 cycles I was "virtualy NED" based on PET and CT. After 6 cycles I was officially no evidence of disease.

We took a chemo break which we expected to last 2 - 4 months, but it lasted 3+ years. I continued to have frequent and negative scans until 11/08. At that time a tiny lung nodule showed up - we followed it with 2 scans (no change) and had it removed via VATS in mid April. I am on my second cycle of Xeloda + Avastin - not fun, but with any luck Xeloda is only 6 cycles and that is the "not fun" part - the Avastin will continue for several more months.

Bottom line - here I am 4 years later - on my 2nd chemo round - wish I could say otherwise - but if they can keep giving me 3 more years then things will be pretty good!

Betsy

Nana b

Eric
You know I have the same thoughts when it comes my family I sit observe and think how they would do without me. (Probably throw a fiesta, but I was always the life of the party) I would be the first to go in a loooooooooong chain of family and the youngest of my fammily of 9. My daughter Andria would be just devasted, growing up she would look over at me and tell me she had to go first because she could not bare not having me here. But we have had our taks and she has come around to accepting that I will go one day, maybe not today, tomorrow or longer but I will go, we all do.

My mother just got me back home, I was diagnosed less then three months after moving here.

Back to the subject......I don't think of me, I thinnk of them.....because hey, I won't be feeling a thing! I hoped to see my 11 (and probably more to come) grandkids grow up....heck my grandma got to enjoy her great, great grandchildren. I won't be thinking of what I left behind or or will I!!! hmmmmmmmmmmm. Better not start the preaching....

eric38

Nana b said:

Eric
You know I have the same thoughts when it comes my family I sit observe and think how they would do without me. (Probably throw a fiesta, but I was always the life of the party) I would be the first to go in a loooooooooong chain of family and the youngest of my fammily of 9. My daughter Andria would be just devasted, growing up she would look over at me and tell me she had to go first because she could not bare not having me here. But we have had our taks and she has come around to accepting that I will go one day, maybe not today, tomorrow or longer but I will go, we all do.

My mother just got me back home, I was diagnosed less then three months after moving here.

Back to the subject......I don't think of me, I thinnk of them.....because hey, I won't be feeling a thing! I hoped to see my 11 (and probably more to come) grandkids grow up....heck my grandma got to enjoy her great, great grandchildren. I won't be thinking of what I left behind or or will I!!! hmmmmmmmmmmm. Better not start the preaching....

Nana - Don`t start talking
Nana - Don`t start talking like you are on your way out. You can beat this. Not that i don`t think your attitude is great cause it is.

Eric

Nana b

eric38 said:

Nana - Don`t start talking
Nana - Don`t start talking like you are on your way out. You can beat this. Not that i don`t think your attitude is great cause it is.

Eric

lol
hey you got me going....lol.