So, if i'm done...

j916
j916 Member Posts: 141
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
why do i feel so crappy?

tomorrow is the first every-other-friday, that i'm not having my chemo....i am done...officially done two weeks tomorrow.
But in some ways i feel worse....or as bad. My fatigue seems to be worse....i either can't sleep at all, or i can fall into such a deep sleep in the middle of the day, that the phone that is right next to my head, literally next to my head on the bed, doesn't wake me up. At work, my eyes roll around in my head during meetings to the point it's embarrassing. I laid my head down on my desk at lunch to "rest", and woke up over an hour later, with a perfect red hand print across half of my face...and i had to go to the bathroom so bad, that i had to pretend i was scratcing my ear to cover up the mark on my face just to walk to the bathroom! lol
i guess you just gotta laugh...but i didn't anticipate the fatigue being worse...did the chemo build up and is now kicking my butt? The chemo brain, which was "ha ha, there's the chemo brain agan!"...is now....ok....i can't remember where i parked my car and can't get home from work until i find it (city streets, not a lot).
I know that our hormones are going nutty....i haven't had a period since my first treatment in february. But gee whiz! come on!! my favorite phrase has become..."you know what...this is just sh*tty"

Comments

  • taleena
    taleena Member Posts: 1,612 Member
    j916... I'm sorry your
    j916... I'm sorry your feeling so crappy... I hope that it gets better and better until all of this is just a foggy crappy memory. I have no experience with chemo.. hell I don't have any experience yet other than laying on a table and getting cut on... but even with you feeling crappy you manage to find and use humor... thank you... it makes whatever lays around the corner for me somewhat less terrifying.

    I wish I could make you feel better.. if I could I would.. sending you "feeling great thoughts"

    ~T
  • tasha_111
    tasha_111 Member Posts: 2,072
    taleena said:

    j916... I'm sorry your
    j916... I'm sorry your feeling so crappy... I hope that it gets better and better until all of this is just a foggy crappy memory. I have no experience with chemo.. hell I don't have any experience yet other than laying on a table and getting cut on... but even with you feeling crappy you manage to find and use humor... thank you... it makes whatever lays around the corner for me somewhat less terrifying.

    I wish I could make you feel better.. if I could I would.. sending you "feeling great thoughts"

    ~T

    j916
    It's normal. The chemo cocktail stays in your system for a while and for some reason seems to be worse after the treatments finish, maybe this is because we have now got time to think. It soon fades, just go with the flow for a while.
    Big Hug Jxxxxxxxxx
  • Christmas Girl
    Christmas Girl Member Posts: 3,682 Member
    It just takes time...
    Your fatigue might seem even more intense now, following completion of all treatment, because your body finally has the chance to heal in earnest. And that sort of healing can really zap the energy level. Because that's where your energy is being used up first.

    I understand your frustration - we think that right after we're done with it all, we're back to normal. Unfortunately, not so.

    Be good to yourself. Rest when you're tired, whenever and however you can. Try to work with your body, not against it. The more you do this now, the sooner you'll feel better.

    Kind regards, Susan
  • RTR22
    RTR22 Member Posts: 6
    I can sympathize
    TODAY is my first "every other Thursday" that I am not having chemo (so it sounds like I am a week ahead of you) and I feel crappy too! Right up there with the worst days during treatment. I am trying not to let it frustrate me by reminding myself that I still have to suffer, at least, two weeks of the usually side effects that occurred during treatment. Starting tomorrow it will be new territory for my body.

    We do have to keep in mind that the doctors say the fatigue is cumulative, so it would make sense that we still feel like crap now. We also have to face the fact that it has been six months of trauma to our bodies (it has been 6 months for me between the surgeries and chemo). So, I figure it will take a lot of work over the next year to "really" feel good again - lots of rest, exercising as much as possible while trying to to overdo it, good nutrition, lots of loving family and friends and lots of humor!

    My body has been through more than I would ever have imagined. It is sh*tty. But, thank goodness chemo is over and we can start the healing process!

    My thoughts and prayers are with you and all the others out there going through this.....it is a long, long, long road to recovery, but we are going to do it! As my precious neighbor told me when I was first diagnosed, "Chin Up, for now"!
  • outdoorgirl
    outdoorgirl Member Posts: 1,565
    Like the other ladies here have
    said,it takes a while to start feeling less tired. That chemo was very toxic and mixed with the surgery too,your body has taken a beating!Give your body time and rest when you can!
  • mimivac
    mimivac Member Posts: 2,143
    cumulative
    Yes, this happens to most people. Doctors will tell you that recovering completely can take the same amount of time as all your treatments. So, if you had chemo and radiation for six months, it will take another six months until you are fully better. This doesn't mean that you will have the same level of fatigue for six months, but that it will gradually fade over that time. I am just now beginning to feel some residual chemo effects, 2 months post-treatment (I'm still undergoing rads). Just let it run its course. It WILL get better.
  • Noel
    Noel Member Posts: 3,095 Member
    mimivac said:

    cumulative
    Yes, this happens to most people. Doctors will tell you that recovering completely can take the same amount of time as all your treatments. So, if you had chemo and radiation for six months, it will take another six months until you are fully better. This doesn't mean that you will have the same level of fatigue for six months, but that it will gradually fade over that time. I am just now beginning to feel some residual chemo effects, 2 months post-treatment (I'm still undergoing rads). Just let it run its course. It WILL get better.

    You just have to give
    You just have to give yourself time. It could take months, or, it could take years. I don't

    think there is a timetable to follow. Just relax and know that it will come. Our bodies

    and minds have been thru so much and some may never get over it. But, focus on the positive

    and live your life! That is the best advice I can give you!
  • Kylez
    Kylez Member Posts: 3,761 Member
    Noel said:

    You just have to give
    You just have to give yourself time. It could take months, or, it could take years. I don't

    think there is a timetable to follow. Just relax and know that it will come. Our bodies

    and minds have been thru so much and some may never get over it. But, focus on the positive

    and live your life! That is the best advice I can give you!

    You have been thru a lot.
    You have been thru a lot. You need to just relax and give yourself time to heal, as we all

    do.
  • Alexis F
    Alexis F Member Posts: 3,598

    It just takes time...
    Your fatigue might seem even more intense now, following completion of all treatment, because your body finally has the chance to heal in earnest. And that sort of healing can really zap the energy level. Because that's where your energy is being used up first.

    I understand your frustration - we think that right after we're done with it all, we're back to normal. Unfortunately, not so.

    Be good to yourself. Rest when you're tired, whenever and however you can. Try to work with your body, not against it. The more you do this now, the sooner you'll feel better.

    Kind regards, Susan

    Going thru all of these
    Going thru all of these treatments takes so much out of us that it just takes time for us to

    heal. Try to get as much rest as you can and you will start to feel better soon, I hope!