My mom was just diagnosed...

kathybolar Member Posts: 4
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Hi! My first post so I will get right in to it....Two days ago we learned my 63 year old mom was diagnosed with Advanced Breast Cancer-- or Stage IV. It started in her breast and spread to the bone. However, all of her mammograms have came up clear which is what is so frustrating/scary for all of us. I spent yesterday crying all day. Today I think I need to put on my big girl panties and try to figure out what's best for Mom. The doc started her on FEMARA and seemed optimistic this would kill the cancer cells...

I am looking for support!!!! My mom is in the Kansas City area and I would love to find support for her there. Dad refuses to use anything but dial-up for the computer, so I can't get her on the computer because it's so dang slow... I might have to start working on him to upgrade.

Anyway, my sister is in KC and I just moved from Fort Benning, Georgia, to Fort Leavenworth, Kansas. I am lucky to be stationed this close to home at this time. In return for us getting stationed so close to home, my husband is now on his 4th deployment! I feel like I have the weight of the world, as I know you all can imagine.

Thanks for letting me post. If anyone has any contacts in the KC area, I would love to hear from them. I am new to this and looking forward to learning as much as I can. God bless.


  • mimivac
    mimivac Member Posts: 2,143
    Hi Kathy
    Welcome to the boards. I'm very sorry to hear about your mom. My mom is around the same age, and I don't know what I would do if she were in that situtaion. So heart wrenching -- I don't blame you for spending a day crying about it. You sound like a good and supportive daughter. Support is paramount. Many women find that in person support groups and/or online communities are a lifeline. Ask your father to get the upgrade so your mom can find solace online if she prefers. She could also ask her doctor for groups in her community that she could join.

    Treatments for Stage IV have come a long way. Femera is good drug and I'm glad her doctor is optimistic. Post here all you want, and we hope to see your mom here as well.

  • CR1954
    CR1954 Member Posts: 1,390 Member
    Hi Kathy........
    I'm very sorry to hear about your mother's dx.

    It's absolutely normal and quite ok, to feel so frightened and confused right now. And crying is very cathartic, so go ahead, whenever you feel the need.

    It sounds as if you already had a lot on your plate, before this. You need to step back and take a breath so that you do not become completely overwhelmed, at this point.

    I'm sorry, I am nowhere near KC, but there may be some here who are.

    Sending giant sized hugs your way.
  • outdoorgirl
    outdoorgirl Member Posts: 1,565
    I'm sorry to hear
    about your mom,and can't imagine what you're going through! I was diagnosed in 2007 and that was one thing for me,but when my mom was having bleeding problems and they had found a mass in her abdomen-that was a whole nother story!And she lives in Washington State and I live in Ohio,so the distance was really hard!Fortunately for my mom it was benign,but boy was I worried and felt helpless!
    Enough of that-I'm glad that you can be there for your mom!
    I'm sorry that your husband is deployed again,I am a military wife,myself.
    You've found a great site with lots of caring people who are (unfortunately,but fortunately for your sake)experienced with what your mom is going through.
    And the ladies on here are right,research has come a long way!
    I hope the best for your mom!
  • taleena
    taleena Member Posts: 1,612 Member
    I too am in KC.. I was just
    I too am in KC.. I was just diagnosed.. they haven't staged it yet, another surgery is scheduled for the 9th.. they feel confident that they caught it early. I am so sorry that you are going through this and at a distance.. I know how hard that can be.. you have come to the right place... the women here are hold a wealth of information and incredible support... sorry that you are here... but so glad you found us.

  • seof
    seof Member Posts: 819 Member
    Here some thoughts to try for support for your Mom:
    Look on the ACS website to see if they have a local branch near her. I think you could find a phone number, then ACS could offer things like someone to help drive her to treatments, folks to talk to by phone or in person, "look good, feel better" support group to help with cosmetics and other ways to look good and feel better during treatments. Churches can also offer help/support, if your Mom is inclined that way. You might also suggest that she could ask the Dr. if there is a support group in the area.

    Hope these ideas are useful. This site is a good place for you. She is blessed to have you in her life.

  • jgridley
    jgridley Member Posts: 169
    Welcome Kathy
    Kathy, I am so sorry to hear about your mom's dx..
    But for what it's worth, you have came to the right place. Everyone here is awesome.
    They are full of knowledge and so supportive.