Okay, I am going to whine

nudgie Member Posts: 1,478 Member
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
My husband is in Chicago visiting our son, my mother is not home and my sister is working, so my family here is stuck with my whining for today, so here I go............

Firs off, I lost my well paying job in October 2008; took me 6 months to find a "contracted/temp" position and within that six months, we used up all our 401(k) plan monies.

I am now stuck in a job that has NO benefits, so if I don't work, I don't get paid, so I could not go on the trip to Chicago (this week) to visit our son :( . I am pissed!

I continue to look for a position within my field (facility / construction / project mgmt), but still have not found anything. I have been on several interviews that have not panned out due to the company changing their mind or someone else got the position.

I am tired of being poor and sitting home EVERY WEEKEND and doing nothing because of funds and can't seem to get a leg-up yet.

I guess I am going through a mid-life crsis because I am not really happy with anything, don't get me wrong, I love my husband and my son, it's just I will be turning 45 yrs old this month, I have done nothing in my life I can be proud of; have always lived paycheck to paycheck.

I would love to sell our house and move somwhere NEW and start our life in our 40's in a new place, but I can't seem to find a job outside of my region either :(

The more I type and think, I am pretty sure I am just PISSED that I missed this trip and could not see my son.

Once again, thank you soooooo much for listening to me and letting me WHINE

I sure love you guys :)


  • dorookie
    dorookie Member Posts: 1,731 Member
    I understand
    First of all I think you can be proud of the son you raised and I am sure you did a wonderful job. To me that is the best and hardest job there ever was.

    I understand about the funds, I have been very blessed that I work for the Feds its a bit harder to fire us or get rid of a fed employees. But I have been in your shoes and it sucks, but it can and will get better. It just sucks that we have to go through all this cancer crap and then the other parts of our lives kick us when we are down. I dont think its fair, but the hardest lesson in life is to know that Life is not Fair!

    Any way I dont know if anything I say means anything, but I just wanted to let you know I understand and your not alone in how you feel or your situation.

    It will get better, you will see.

    God Bless
  • Annabelle41415
    Annabelle41415 Member Posts: 6,742 Member
    I'm sorry you are feeling so down and I do bet it is because you couldn't go with your husband to Chicago. Being away from your child is hard enough and not having enough money not to go is even worse.

    I hope that you find a job soon and your stress level will even out. I'm thinking of you and hoping you get to Chicago soon to see your son.

    You can whine all you want, this is a place to do that. You are allowed to do that here because there is more to cancer than just cancer - there is life to deal with and other people just don't understand that. We are the ones going through this and we all know how we feel.

    I hope that you sell your house and everything turns out good for you.


  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    Nope-not Mid-Life crisis...just sick of being sick, and being discriminated against----courtesy of the beast!!!!!!

    I know it sounds trite, but it WILL be better! I went thru an 'adjustment' period, where I lost most of my clients (computer consulting) because I can no longer lift things (hardware) that are heavy, both the breast cancer and rectal (obstruction threat is constant) are responsible.

    So, I decided to do something ELSE with my life...and I'm still looking. Things are tight, and I am uninsurable for the rest of my life till 65. Thank goodness I HAVE insurance, but it keeps increasing the premiums, up to $660 per month starting June.

    I'm sending my biggest hugs. I wish I had the magic answers...

    Hugs, Kathi
  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,044 Member
    I can relate
    I have a feeling this is mostly about not getting to see your son, which I totally understand. I'd be heartbroken about something like that. I also can SO relate to your comments about being tired of scrounging and going from paycheck to paycheck with no "fun" rewards. That's pretty much been our story forever. What helped us the most was taking the "Financial Peace University" offered at our church. It's offered nationwide. It helped us formulate a good budget and stop going willy nilly through life.

    Hope you find a good way to make life feel good again.

  • lisa42
    lisa42 Member Posts: 3,625 Member
    it's only fair

    It's only fair that if I whine and people have listened, that I listen to someone else' whining! I'm so sorry you couldn't visit your son and had to stay behind and WORK for a job that you're not happy with. Sometimes life stinks!!! But, the sun will come out tomorrow (hopefully) and you'll be okay. I do hope something pans out for you with the job scene. Don't give up- I know it's hard to keep pressing on- but it won't happen for sure if you don't continue trying and looking.
    Take care & I'll be thinking of you.

    A big "cyberhug",
  • tiny one
    tiny one Member Posts: 465 Member
    You have done some important things in your life. You're a wife and a Mother. Being a Mom is one of the hardest jobs that anyone can do. If we got paid for this we would probably earn at least $125,000. Before cancer I thought material things were so important until I was in the hospital recovering from my resection and accepting the ileostomy I had. I realized what was most important was my families support. I'm sorry you didn't get to see your son. My youngest son is in Iraq right now. It's hard to be away from them. You have every right to be outraged. Sometimes something good comes from something bad. Wish we all were closer so we could get you feeling better!
  • kimby
    kimby Member Posts: 797
    Whine Away!

    We all need time to whine. Take your time. I'm sure it has much to do with not being with your family - that sucks. I have that problem occasionally myself. But the dissatisfaction with your current career - that can be overwhelming and is tougher to fix.

    I am currently unable to work and I made considerably more than my husband does. Our finances aren't great either and it's scary. I find myself wanting to get started on a new career. Because my husband carries our insurance I will stay self-employed but I don't think I can drive 1000 miles a week ever again, so -- new career. With my new NEAD status I really have been getting antsy. I know I'm not ready for that but patience is not a virtue I was blessed with!

    Looking for work sucks in this economy. You saw your son struggle but it is harder to accept now. I turned 45 in January and because of my 'nice' resume, I'm not used to struggling for a good job. It is tougher out there right now. Can you expand your vision of what your field is? Maybe those peripheral jobs that you haven't thought of before?

    I moved somewhere 'new' about 20 years ago. Guess what? Wherever I go, there I am! *I* was the problem that I needed to fix. We stayed for 5 years and moved home.

    Proud? You have a 25 year marriage to a man you still love. You have a wonderful son that YOU raised to be wonderful. You are a canzer survivor. BE PROUD!

    We're proud of you. Hugs,

  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866 Member
    Let's make it a party
    I'll bring the cheese. We can have whine and cheese! As hard as it may be to believe, I am not always this super nice, non-argumentative, open minded, non-opinionated guy. It does sound like you're pissed you missed the trip to see your son. I'd be pissed too. I also live paycheck to paycheck in a job that I figured I retire from. Not any more. I carry the weight of the income plus carry the health insurance in our household. Not a very good situation. Without the care I get at SK I feel I don't have too much of a chance. But enough of the positive stuff.

    Hang in there, it's normal to feel how you, me and others do.
    It's a raw deal but it's what we have. Do enjoy the little things,
    they truly are what matters (IMO)
    I hope you get to see your son soon.