here's what scares me...

taleena
taleena Member Posts: 1,612 Member
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
After having an excisional biopsy where they removed the lump, (which came back low grade idc)... now, on the 9th I am having the complete lumpectomy and sentinal node (sp?) biopsy then I will be sent to an oncologist, because my surgon said that radiation will not be optional but instead a must. What we do not know is what stage it is... so if it has progressed further, isn't it possible that after the lumpectomy that I may need a masectomy anyway... I feel sick to my stomach...get on here and read your stories and then feel foolish for being such a wuss...People have been telling me that I'm one of the strongest women they know.. and to tell the truth I don't know where they get that... I certainly do not feel strong... specially right now.

~T

Comments

  • taleena
    taleena Member Posts: 1,612 Member
    #2
    and hell... it all scares
    and hell... it all scares me!!

    ~T
  • dyaneb123
    dyaneb123 Member Posts: 950
    #3
    Hey Taleena
    Yeah, they will
    Hey Taleena
    Yeah, they will try to save the breast with a lumpectomy if they can. If the margins around the cancer are clean and you don't have lymphnode involvement then that will be all the surgery you need. But sometimes the margins aren't clean and there is lymphnode involvement as was the case with me, so I had to go back for a mastectomy. But until they get in there they don't know...and you want the lumpectomy if you can have it. Then you would probably have to have radiation but not chemo.So good luck.
  • Kat11
    Kat11 Member Posts: 1,931 Member
    #4
    You are strong, because you
    You are strong, because you have to be in order to get through all the stuff they do to us. However, you can always have a good cry when ever you want. This news of yours is not to bad. Low grade IDC is not as bad as it could have been. Hoping the rest goes well for you. By the way your not a wuss.
  • EveningStar2
    EveningStar2 Member Posts: 491 Member
    #5
    taleena said:

    and hell... it all scares
    and hell... it all scares me!!

    ~T

    And that's OK
    Because we're all scared! You are facing the unknown and surgery and things _you_don't_want_to_do. It's OK, we understand. I've had a biopsy, lumpectomy and radiation. Hopefully I have rid myself of the beast but there are no guarantees. You are beginning your journey and we, your sisters in pink, are here to support you.

    Maureen
  • rjjj
    rjjj Member Posts: 1,822 Member
    #6
    Taleena
    You are strong and you are not a wuss. This is one of the scariest things that could ever happen to us. I just want to wish you the best of luck and know that i am praying for you. luv. Jackie
  • RE
    RE Member Posts: 4,591 Member
    #7
    Scary Stuff
    Taleena you have every right to be scared and to feel like a wuss, each one of us has been there. It is the unknown how you could possibly not be afraid. I have dealt with bc three times and each time I was scared and felt wuss like. The key is you grab yourself by the bootstrap (maybe bra straps in our cases) and you do what must be done to continue on. The stage usually does not come till after the surgery and lab results come in, yes more torturous waiting. Try to keep yourself busy so you don't dwell on it too much, I know easier said then done. Come in here and vent we will do our best to lift you up. Trust me you are stronger then you know, we all are!

    image

    RE
  • lynn1950
    lynn1950 Member Posts: 2,570
    #8
    Being scared
    I can't imagine not being scared! Being scared has nothing to do with how strong you are. It's going on, even though you're scared. That's the strength part. The biopsy was scary, but you did it. The waiting is scary, but you are a survivor! You can look in the mirror and be proud! image
  • Kristin N
    Kristin N Member Posts: 1,968 Member
    #9
    Taleena, it is a roller coaster ride
    Taleena, I know that you are scared. We all were and still are at times. That is part of this process. But, just know that you have us here to support you and to be here for you, to laugh with, to cry with, to vent with. You have friends here, you have sisters!


    image
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    #10
    Strength In Numbers
    All of our names could be interchanged with yours~ not only did we not want to be strong, we didn't even know we would have to be until the Beast paid us a visit! That is the beauty of this place... we realize that right now you really believe that you, being scared and worried think that you are the only one feeling that way! That somehow you are surrounded by amazing, almost Super-human women who have somehow escaped the fear and have risen above it all!! Well, we are indeed amazing, but it's only because we got here right before you did, and we surrounded ourselves with the scared women who preceeded us!

    However and wherever your journey takes you~ we hold your hand and protect your heart~ you are NOT different from us, as of your initial posting you are one of us!

    To my sister-warriors who have heard this analogy before, I trust they will forgive me:

    We are all on a roller-coaster ride, the seatbelt is broken, there is oil on the tracks, and to top it off, it's starting to rain!!! So you know what we do? We hold on to each other for dear life! We may scream and be more afraid than we ever have been, but by holding on, we make it off of the roller coaster alive. Bruised, definately afraid of coasters, but ALIVE!!!! There is Life after Breast Cancer; and you will sooner than you think be encouraging others.

    Hugs,
    Claudia
  • Akiss4me
    Akiss4me Member Posts: 2,188
    #11
    chenheart said:

    Strength In Numbers
    All of our names could be interchanged with yours~ not only did we not want to be strong, we didn't even know we would have to be until the Beast paid us a visit! That is the beauty of this place... we realize that right now you really believe that you, being scared and worried think that you are the only one feeling that way! That somehow you are surrounded by amazing, almost Super-human women who have somehow escaped the fear and have risen above it all!! Well, we are indeed amazing, but it's only because we got here right before you did, and we surrounded ourselves with the scared women who preceeded us!

    However and wherever your journey takes you~ we hold your hand and protect your heart~ you are NOT different from us, as of your initial posting you are one of us!

    To my sister-warriors who have heard this analogy before, I trust they will forgive me:

    We are all on a roller-coaster ride, the seatbelt is broken, there is oil on the tracks, and to top it off, it's starting to rain!!! So you know what we do? We hold on to each other for dear life! We may scream and be more afraid than we ever have been, but by holding on, we make it off of the roller coaster alive. Bruised, definately afraid of coasters, but ALIVE!!!! There is Life after Breast Cancer; and you will sooner than you think be encouraging others.

    Hugs,
    Claudia

    Analogy...
    Claudia, That is the first time I heard that analogy, so thanks for sharing it and putting alittle more perspective on an already bad situation to help make it more endurable. Don't ever stop using that one....everyone should hear it (even if it's more than once!) :) Pammy
  • Moopy23
    Moopy23 Member Posts: 1,751 Member
    #12
    chenheart said:

    Strength In Numbers
    All of our names could be interchanged with yours~ not only did we not want to be strong, we didn't even know we would have to be until the Beast paid us a visit! That is the beauty of this place... we realize that right now you really believe that you, being scared and worried think that you are the only one feeling that way! That somehow you are surrounded by amazing, almost Super-human women who have somehow escaped the fear and have risen above it all!! Well, we are indeed amazing, but it's only because we got here right before you did, and we surrounded ourselves with the scared women who preceeded us!

    However and wherever your journey takes you~ we hold your hand and protect your heart~ you are NOT different from us, as of your initial posting you are one of us!

    To my sister-warriors who have heard this analogy before, I trust they will forgive me:

    We are all on a roller-coaster ride, the seatbelt is broken, there is oil on the tracks, and to top it off, it's starting to rain!!! So you know what we do? We hold on to each other for dear life! We may scream and be more afraid than we ever have been, but by holding on, we make it off of the roller coaster alive. Bruised, definately afraid of coasters, but ALIVE!!!! There is Life after Breast Cancer; and you will sooner than you think be encouraging others.

    Hugs,
    Claudia

    Always Claudia
    Somehow, dear Claudia, you always express our most fundamental thoughts, emotions and experiences in a uniquely powerful way.

    You see right to the heart of it all, and of us. And then you write beautifully and imaginatively, helping us to understand ourselves and our journey. The journey we are on together, just in different places.

    I never liked roller coasters--made me sick--but I am hanging on, like Claudia says. You do that too, OK?
  • Kat11
    Kat11 Member Posts: 1,931 Member
    #13
    chenheart said:

    Strength In Numbers
    All of our names could be interchanged with yours~ not only did we not want to be strong, we didn't even know we would have to be until the Beast paid us a visit! That is the beauty of this place... we realize that right now you really believe that you, being scared and worried think that you are the only one feeling that way! That somehow you are surrounded by amazing, almost Super-human women who have somehow escaped the fear and have risen above it all!! Well, we are indeed amazing, but it's only because we got here right before you did, and we surrounded ourselves with the scared women who preceeded us!

    However and wherever your journey takes you~ we hold your hand and protect your heart~ you are NOT different from us, as of your initial posting you are one of us!

    To my sister-warriors who have heard this analogy before, I trust they will forgive me:

    We are all on a roller-coaster ride, the seatbelt is broken, there is oil on the tracks, and to top it off, it's starting to rain!!! So you know what we do? We hold on to each other for dear life! We may scream and be more afraid than we ever have been, but by holding on, we make it off of the roller coaster alive. Bruised, definately afraid of coasters, but ALIVE!!!! There is Life after Breast Cancer; and you will sooner than you think be encouraging others.

    Hugs,
    Claudia

    Claudia
    Wow, I never liked roller coaster, they make me sick. With your help I will learn to ride. Thank you
  • outdoorgirl
    outdoorgirl Member Posts: 1,565
    #14
    taleena said:

    and hell... it all scares
    and hell... it all scares me!!

    ~T

    Taleena,
    One step at a time my dear! If you look at the big picture,it's too overwhelming!
    And we have all been scared;when we found out,going through treatment,and still even after going through treatment and on with living life! We hopefully don't think about it 24/7,but we still wonder sometimes-what if it comes back?!
    I know at least for me it's made me stronger-but I definately wasn't born courageous!
    So,it's normal for you to feel like this,and eventually you will see light at the end of the tunnel!
  • MAJW
    MAJW Member Posts: 2,510 Member
    #15
    TALEENA
    HANG ON GIRL!!!!!! YOU'LL GET THROUGH IT! Sadly, but warmly, I welcome you to the "sisterhood." It's a "sucky sisterhood" to belong to but a sisterhood nonetheless..... I just went through the lumpectomy and senitel node biopsy on May 20. Feel really good, sore in the armpit but good......I was amazed at the small amount of pain that was involved......more just a discomfort and soreness, especially the armpit area from the node biopsy. My surgery was at 1:00 PM and I was home on the couch by 4:15! I was lucky, the surgeon only had to take 3 nodes....and they all came back negative! My tumor was removed with free and clear margins.....if it helps, my surgeon said that unless it is in more than one quad of the breast and nodes, that a lumpectomy provides the same survival rate as a mastectomy. I have a consult with the oncologist and surgeon again on Wednesday. I am hoping for just radiation, since there was no node involvement.....but if they say chemo I will suck it up and do it......what ever it takes, even if it means running down my street buck naked..........not a pretty visual, trust me!

    If I can help in any way what so ever, about what to expect before, during and after your lumpectomy, let me know......God bless......we're stronger than we know!
    Nan
  • rjjj
    rjjj Member Posts: 1,822 Member
    #16
    chenheart said:

    Strength In Numbers
    All of our names could be interchanged with yours~ not only did we not want to be strong, we didn't even know we would have to be until the Beast paid us a visit! That is the beauty of this place... we realize that right now you really believe that you, being scared and worried think that you are the only one feeling that way! That somehow you are surrounded by amazing, almost Super-human women who have somehow escaped the fear and have risen above it all!! Well, we are indeed amazing, but it's only because we got here right before you did, and we surrounded ourselves with the scared women who preceeded us!

    However and wherever your journey takes you~ we hold your hand and protect your heart~ you are NOT different from us, as of your initial posting you are one of us!

    To my sister-warriors who have heard this analogy before, I trust they will forgive me:

    We are all on a roller-coaster ride, the seatbelt is broken, there is oil on the tracks, and to top it off, it's starting to rain!!! So you know what we do? We hold on to each other for dear life! We may scream and be more afraid than we ever have been, but by holding on, we make it off of the roller coaster alive. Bruised, definately afraid of coasters, but ALIVE!!!! There is Life after Breast Cancer; and you will sooner than you think be encouraging others.

    Hugs,
    Claudia

    a rollercoaster
    Chen i loved the analogy. and I never want to take that ride again. hugs, jackie
  • jk1952
    jk1952 Member Posts: 613
    #17
    Taleena,
    I've just caught up
    Taleena,

    I've just caught up with some of your other posts, and first, I'd like to express my sympathies on the loss of your father, and your brother. It must be so-o-o difficult keeping a positive attitude, with the things that you've had to deal with recently. Your emotions have to be in overdrive. And, the experience that you had as a child makes everything even more confusing.

    Please don't let anyone tell you that you would choose a lumpectomy over mastectomy because you or vain or weak. When I was first diagnosed, the lumpectomy with radiation was recommended by my surgeon (recognizing that a mastectomy might be needed if the tests indicated that the cancer was more involved than expected). In my instance, the breast was conserved quite well, and with time, I forgot to think about the fact that I had survived cancer.

    My experience with the lumpectomy and radiation was quite different from my recent experience with the mastectomy and reconstruction. With the lumpectomy and radiation life was much more normal: even though I had to go to radiation each day for several weeks, I only missed about a week of work total for the surgeries (my biopsy and sentinel lymph node surgeries were done at separate times), and I left work about an hour or two early each day for radiation. The reduced workday helped to delay the exhaustion that many people feel. With the mastectomy, I expect to return to work eight weeks after surgery, so physically, it’s been much more difficult, with slower overall healing, this time.

    Joyce

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