Hi, this is the first time I have done something like this. But I am loosing hope real fast. I have had a total mastectomy, and will have surgery for breast implants. Meanwhile, my husband is in clinical trials for his 3rd battle with cancer. My husband has been sick for almost 2 years. I am having my implants soon, and my husband will not be here for my surgery, as he will be having his treatment. I work full time, try to keep the household together, and am full time caregiver to my husband. Although he does pretty good for himself, he is able to administer his own feeding and pain medication, then he sleeps most of the time. But I am falling apart. If the least little thing goes wrong I cry. In fact I cry a lot. I speak with my mother quite a bit(she lives in another state) she recommended I contact a funeral home for grive support. I am not ready to contact a funeral home yet. My husband has more will to live and fight more than I do. I just feel bad. I was reading some of the discussions, and a few I was crying over. Despite all the struggles I am going through I was feeling sad other people are going through this. I have always been a fighter and have managed to pick myself up and keep going, but this time I feel I am loosing hope and don't have any fight left. So I guess I am reaching out for some.