Learning to Hate Pink

j916

Prior to being given the diagnosis of breast cancer for xmas last year....my favorite color was pink. Now, I can hardly stand it. Don't get me wrong, I am 100% for supporting the cause, walked in the Kommen Race for the Cure even tho very weak from chemo, etc.....but it seems like friends, well wishing i'm sure, are intent on giving me everything imaginable with the pink ribbon on it; hats, socks, mugs, glasses, magnets, jewelry, etc. Why do i cringe every time i see these? I don't want to have this pink ribbon define me, even tho i know i am forever a "breast cancer" patient.
What color is opposite on the color chart? I think i'll try that color on for size as a favorite color.
jeanne

Jan_M

My family and friends have
My family and friends have also given me that stuff. Today I received a box of pink pens and pink breast cancer ribbon sharpies. I appreciate it BUT like you I don't want it to define me. I think light blue is opposite, lol. Pink ribbons, pins, bracelets,necklaces,earrings, mugs, pens, stuffed bear, the list goes on.

I think that they feel that is the way to support us. So I do love them for it.

cats_toy

Pink was not my favorite color
I never liked pink, hardly had anything that color. Love purples and lavenders. Now I really like pink, I underrated it as a color for a very long time. It might just be that since you are now inundated with it, the connotation is your bc. I found I like the pink ribbon so much I have it tattooed on my back! (go to my expressions page if you want to see it) Maybe when things settle down with your diagnosis, treatment, recouperation, etc, the color may look better to you again!
You are not forever a bc patient, you are a person who has survived something very traumatic, the pink ribbon will only define you if you let it. You are one of the sister warriors now and you can define yourself however you see fit.
take care
=^..^=

lemont

I'm glad I'm not the only
I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels like that! I already feel like a walking ad for breast cancer awareness. I reluctantly decided to do the Race for the Cure at the last minute last Sunday. I'm glad I did it but I found it more upsetting than inspirational, and felt guilty about feeling that way. Then I wore my pink survivor shirt today and felt good in it. I think I'll feel differently when I'm further out from this.

GreeneyedGirl

lemont said:

I'm glad I'm not the only
I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels like that! I already feel like a walking ad for breast cancer awareness. I reluctantly decided to do the Race for the Cure at the last minute last Sunday. I'm glad I did it but I found it more upsetting than inspirational, and felt guilty about feeling that way. Then I wore my pink survivor shirt today and felt good in it. I think I'll feel differently when I'm further out from this.

I get em' too
Gifts, and just got one on thurs of last week. Actually a really nice one. I too don't want to be defined by breast cancer. Yet, as I think about it, the reality of the disease has shown those I am in relationship with-that breast cancer can and will happen to anyone. I put a face on it-so to speak-if you get where I am going with this. It makes it real. And some people don't know what else to do, except give a gift of related pink ribboned goodies. I choose when and what I do with them, no strings attached. It can be a bummer, sometimes. I just say "thank you for thinking of me". Of course I do remember feeling-"can't you just ask me about something else for a change, other than how am I doing". One day at a time I suppose. We shall see what tomorrow brings.

jakeca

God love 'em
My friends and family, especially my sister, deluged me with pink gifts after my diagnosis. It was really funny how I reacted to them. Some of them I really loved, like the soft, compfy robe my daughter-in-law gave me. It was almost my uniform for the whole winter--couldn't wait to put it on in the evenings. My friend gave me a Longaberger travel mug--and for some reason I hate it. Besides that, it doesn't even work very well--it dribbles when you try to drink from it--and I know it must have cost her a pretty penny! But the worst one was a lovely Jim Shore figurine from my sister. The figurine is a willowy young woman who has long, blonde curls and my sister enclosed a note that it reminded her of me when I was a young girl with long, blonde hair. She left it here (gift wrapped) and told me to open it the morning I was having my head shaved! Believe me, I did not want to be reminded of my long, blonde hair that day. I almost threw it away, but I just boxed it up and put it on my closet shelf. Maybe someday I will want to have it out, but not until my hair is all grown back in. I know she was just wanting to show her love and support, but she really screwed up on that one!

I know everyone feels helpless and they are trying to show their love, but I haved learned that if I ever feel the need to give a breast cancer patient a gift, it will NOT be pink and it will NOT have the pink ribbon. The best gifts I received were notes that said someone had made a donation in my name to a cancer research organization. Now that is a great gift!

DrSusanHardwicke

lemont said:

I'm glad I'm not the only
I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels like that! I already feel like a walking ad for breast cancer awareness. I reluctantly decided to do the Race for the Cure at the last minute last Sunday. I'm glad I did it but I found it more upsetting than inspirational, and felt guilty about feeling that way. Then I wore my pink survivor shirt today and felt good in it. I think I'll feel differently when I'm further out from this.

Pink and the BC Identity
I'm a Stage III breast cancer survivor and share the feelings of you who are inundated with pink. Although somewhat of a warrior by nature, my inclination after receiving the pathology report (prior to the lumpectomy it was considered at most Stage II) was to appreciate my life and to heal. So many friends wanted to engage in the "fight" against breast cancer; I truly appreciated their loyalty, but realized we were in two entirely different places.

It was difficult to be diplomatic, but I tried to express gratitude for my friends' devotion without sharing in the intense emotional trauma.

Lemont, please understand that there are many reasons for being upset at such events as a Race for the Cure. The primary reason is a conflict. I ran a Race for the Cure 3 weeks after completing radiation therapy, and I, like you, felt upset after feeling grateful for completing it.

For me, the source of the negative emotion was a disconnect between my self-concept as a healthy, strong person and the victimhood that such events can foster. If you understand why there might be a conflict, you can address guilt (the "should-ing" on oneself).

I also discovered that I did not want to be used by the many businesses and organizations that depend on cancer patients for their pipeline. Hence, I have been very careful about which races to run, and which benefits to attend.
I'll be coming up on my 6th year anniversary.

I look forward to celebrating-- no conflicts and guilt about living another year!

Warm regards to you

outdoorgirl

the breast cancer woman
Jeanne,
Some people at church who don't know my name do know me as the breast cancer survivor. My husband hates that,and yeah,sometimes it bothers me too. I definately don't want me to be defined by cancer,even though I am heavily involved in bc volunteering.I don't want pity,but I would like for others to see me and what I've been through and have hope because of it!

Christmas Girl

Pink & Pink Ribbons
First, I'll chime in with my friend, Cat. Prior to BC, I didn't own a single item in pink. To me, it was a color for little girls. The same year I was diagnosed - pink became the big "fashion" color for women, sort of a rediscovery. And, 5-6 years later - it's still a popular color in clothing. I now love pink... and blue, and green, and TURQUOISE, and purple, and grey, etc. ... I think pink looks good on everyone: every skin tone, hair & eye color. It's flattering.

While undergoing treatment, I wore the pink ribbon pin to identify MYSELF as a breast cancer PATIENT. It kinda felt naturally compatible to the "I'm wearing a hat/scarf because I have no hair." (I applaud our sisters who are brave enough to go without headcoverings at all. My climate while bald was too darned cold to even try!) To me - it was no different than a bandage, a cast, a crutch.

To this day, I have a pink ribbon pin attached to every purse, jacket and coat that I own. Please note that these are all items used while out in public. It is a way to advance my efforts for awareness. It is not meant to communicate: "Hi, I'm Susan. And I'm a breast cancer survivor." Not at all. I sincerely hope that when others see those little pins, maybe someone - even one person - will think to themselves: "Gee, I should schedule my mammogram for soon." Or: "Gee, I forgot to do my self-exam last month." Or... you get the picture.

The real beauty of ALL of this - we all have the freedom to choose our own way. I would never, ever criticize a BC sister for NOT displaying a pink ribbon. And, I hope the same courtesy and respect for my own choices would be honored and respected, likewise.

Kind regards, Susan

cats_toy

Christmas Girl said:

Pink & Pink Ribbons
First, I'll chime in with my friend, Cat. Prior to BC, I didn't own a single item in pink. To me, it was a color for little girls. The same year I was diagnosed - pink became the big "fashion" color for women, sort of a rediscovery. And, 5-6 years later - it's still a popular color in clothing. I now love pink... and blue, and green, and TURQUOISE, and purple, and grey, etc. ... I think pink looks good on everyone: every skin tone, hair & eye color. It's flattering.

While undergoing treatment, I wore the pink ribbon pin to identify MYSELF as a breast cancer PATIENT. It kinda felt naturally compatible to the "I'm wearing a hat/scarf because I have no hair." (I applaud our sisters who are brave enough to go without headcoverings at all. My climate while bald was too darned cold to even try!) To me - it was no different than a bandage, a cast, a crutch.

To this day, I have a pink ribbon pin attached to every purse, jacket and coat that I own. Please note that these are all items used while out in public. It is a way to advance my efforts for awareness. It is not meant to communicate: "Hi, I'm Susan. And I'm a breast cancer survivor." Not at all. I sincerely hope that when others see those little pins, maybe someone - even one person - will think to themselves: "Gee, I should schedule my mammogram for soon." Or: "Gee, I forgot to do my self-exam last month." Or... you get the picture.

The real beauty of ALL of this - we all have the freedom to choose our own way. I would never, ever criticize a BC sister for NOT displaying a pink ribbon. And, I hope the same courtesy and respect for my own choices would be honored and respected, likewise.

Kind regards, Susan

well put - as usual 12/25
Susan, so we also have that, I have an angel with the ribbon on my purses, pins on my clothing, I even have the ribbon on my email signature at work, if someone wants to ask me about it, I will share, I don't push. I even had someone take my ribbon and add it to their signature, I told her she could share it with anyone she likes, yes, just to get the word out for maybe only one person to get checked (like I did not). I love every little pink thing people have given me, pink rubber duckies, pink tic tacs (from my niece's boyfriend), bracelets, pins, etc.
Fight the good fight, but if others do not want to see pink, more power to them too! We all have our choices and none of them are wrong.
You are a night owl aren't you?
Always your friend
=^..^=

tasha_111

cats_toy said:

well put - as usual 12/25
Susan, so we also have that, I have an angel with the ribbon on my purses, pins on my clothing, I even have the ribbon on my email signature at work, if someone wants to ask me about it, I will share, I don't push. I even had someone take my ribbon and add it to their signature, I told her she could share it with anyone she likes, yes, just to get the word out for maybe only one person to get checked (like I did not). I love every little pink thing people have given me, pink rubber duckies, pink tic tacs (from my niece's boyfriend), bracelets, pins, etc.
Fight the good fight, but if others do not want to see pink, more power to them too! We all have our choices and none of them are wrong.
You are a night owl aren't you?
Always your friend
=^..^=

TURQUOISE!!!!!!!!!!
I hate pink stuff, it's way too 'girly'.

Turquoise is the best!

Cummon...Aortus, pic needed and I don't know how to do it! LOL

Jxxxxxxxxxxx