Another step to remind me I am a cancer survivor

Options
VickiCO
VickiCO Member Posts: 917
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
When I had my first round of chemo/radiation I was told that it's rare for 5FU patients to lose their hair. My hair thinned, but that was it. Had surgery, and now am back on 5FU. Starting with round 1 my hair started falling out in great amounts. Round 2, more hair loss. I am nearly bald on the top and sides. I start round 3 tomorrow, and I just couldn't face another bout of hair-droppings all over the place. Today my wonderful daughter gave me a very close buzz cut. I was OK, I thought. Fortified with a glass of wine and my son-in-law's jokes, we got through it. Then came the mirror. That was tough. I have hats, scarves, etc, but I really didn't expect this feeling of loss. I feel good about being proactive and making the decision, but I am still sad...yet another decision caused by the beast and out of my control.

Thanks for listening. Vicki
«1

Comments

  • Kathleen808
    Kathleen808 Member Posts: 2,342 Member
    Options
    family
    Vicki,
    I'm glad you had your family around you and they were full of love for you. I bet it is a hard thing to see yourself with a buzz cut. You are a strong woman and you are beautiful!
    Aloha,
    Kathleen
  • dmdwins
    dmdwins Member Posts: 454 Member
    Options

    family
    Vicki,
    I'm glad you had your family around you and they were full of love for you. I bet it is a hard thing to see yourself with a buzz cut. You are a strong woman and you are beautiful!
    Aloha,
    Kathleen

    Me too
    Hi Vicki

    I was suprised to hear that most did not lose their hair during chemo. My hair was falling out in huge clumps and I decided it was easier to just get it shaved. I did not think I would be bothered by it. I was always sort of a wash and go girl-never really spent that much time on my hair. One of my best friends has a Salon (she even volunteered to shave her head too) so I was also surrounded by much love during the time- but cried all the way home. I believe for me it was the reality of it all. Its hard to deny the Cancer when you look in the mirror but as time went on I just got used to my "new" look. It is what is inside that matters and I agree with Kathleen-you are a strong, courageous, beautiful woman.

    Smiles,
    Dawn
  • VickiCO
    VickiCO Member Posts: 917
    Options

    family
    Vicki,
    I'm glad you had your family around you and they were full of love for you. I bet it is a hard thing to see yourself with a buzz cut. You are a strong woman and you are beautiful!
    Aloha,
    Kathleen

    Thanks...
    I discovered a benefit this morning...quicker showers and I will save a fortune on my hair products.

    V
  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866 Member
    Options
    chemo
    I had my hair thin a lot at times and on a few occasions I cut it rather short. I always grew back looking even better. You are right about the shower being easier and the savings on hair products (not that I used any)
    -phil
    I think women look great with the buzz cut, you are beautiful and living with and surviving cancer.
  • shoppergal
    shoppergal Member Posts: 118
    Options
    You are a cancer survivor
    Vicki, I'm sorry that you had to go thru this with your hair. My onc told me that I would just thin, but after my second chemo, my hair started to fall out in big clumps! I felt that if it continued at that rate I would be bald. Fortunately, I have alot of hair,so it didn't all fall out. Had my hair been thinner, I definately would have lost it all. If you didn't know me you wouldn't have really noticed anything, you would just think I had thin hair. But people that knew me noticed the difference, but didn't really want to mention it to make me feel bad. My hair started to grow back even before I was finished with my chemo, just as I'm sure yours will. Try to think of it as something positive, that it's sign that you are a warrior, fighting for the most important thing, your life, and you will be the winner!! Be proud of yourself that you are doing something positive by fighting and surviving. As a hairdresser, specializing in children, I always stress to them thats it's not their hair that makes them beautiful. They would be beautiful even if they were bald, what matters is if they are beautiful inside, and if they are beautiful inside, then they are beautiful outside. From what I've read from you, you sound like you are beautiful inside, so I know that you are beautiful outside, whether you have hair or not! The important thing is that you are a survivor. Stay strong!

    Wendy
  • bdee
    bdee Member Posts: 304
    Options
    Hair loss
    I don't know if it was oxiplaitin, 5fu or avastan, but after only two treatments of the three, my hair was coming out so bad my husband and I couldn't stand it.
    Ever since I found I was going to have chemo, I knew I had a good chance of losing my hair. So my family was very behind me to shave my head, because they did too. Yes, my husband, daughter and son shaved their heads for me. I wish I knew how to post a picture and I would show you. They immediately wanted to go out and show people what they did for me. I was so proud.
    My son is keeping his shaved, but I told my daughter to let her's grow out. She's shown her love, now I want her to look healthy, not like me.
  • Buzzard
    Buzzard Member Posts: 3,043 Member
    Options
    bdee said:

    Hair loss
    I don't know if it was oxiplaitin, 5fu or avastan, but after only two treatments of the three, my hair was coming out so bad my husband and I couldn't stand it.
    Ever since I found I was going to have chemo, I knew I had a good chance of losing my hair. So my family was very behind me to shave my head, because they did too. Yes, my husband, daughter and son shaved their heads for me. I wish I knew how to post a picture and I would show you. They immediately wanted to go out and show people what they did for me. I was so proud.
    My son is keeping his shaved, but I told my daughter to let her's grow out. She's shown her love, now I want her to look healthy, not like me.

    VickiCO...............
    Your alive, thats all that matters...material things don't seem near as important when your life is at stake.....Your family and this family want you, we don't care about the hair and neither do they..We just want you around, the hair will grow back in time...now smile as usual....... :-)
  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866 Member
    Options
    Buzzard said:

    VickiCO...............
    Your alive, thats all that matters...material things don't seem near as important when your life is at stake.....Your family and this family want you, we don't care about the hair and neither do they..We just want you around, the hair will grow back in time...now smile as usual....... :-)

    True points...
    The hair talk makes me think of the Farrah documentary. I got the impression that some of her treatment decisions were based on her fear of losing her hair and also fear of scars so she didn't get a port. No one knows what her outcome will be or if she did different treatments how she'd be now. Personally, hair will grow back or at some point I'll be bald probably anyway. I'd rather be alive and bald than a good looking hairy corpse.
    ;-)
  • VickiCO
    VickiCO Member Posts: 917
    Options
    Thanks Everyone!
    Yes, yesterday was bad/sad/mad. But today, the jokes are rolling in and I feel so much better. I get to go to chemo with my new 'head' and can't wait for the comments there. They did offer me a wig last time I was in, but that's not me. I'll stick with scarves and hats.

    Thanks for the support! Vicki
  • CherylHutch
    CherylHutch Member Posts: 1,375 Member
    Options
    VickiCO said:

    Thanks Everyone!
    Yes, yesterday was bad/sad/mad. But today, the jokes are rolling in and I feel so much better. I get to go to chemo with my new 'head' and can't wait for the comments there. They did offer me a wig last time I was in, but that's not me. I'll stick with scarves and hats.

    Thanks for the support! Vicki

    No wigs
    You go, girl!! I'm with you when it comes to wigs. I figure, if the time comes where I'm losing my hair and feel I would be better off with it shaved off, then I'm going to be d*mn proud of it and not wear a wig. I can only imagine how, in the summer, they would be so hot and itchy. I wouldn't want to put myself through that kind of discomfort when going through treatments is uncomfortable enough.

    You wear that head with pride, girl!! :)

    Huggggggs,

    Cheryl
  • JR
    JR Member Posts: 139 Member
    Options
    Hair loss
    After my surgery and starting chemo, I was actually looking forward to losing my hair. I cut my hair very short anyway. I decided that any day that I didn't have to shave my face was a good day. Just my luck, my hair didn't fall out. I know that hair loss is a much larger issue for a woman than a man but remember, it will grow back. Good luck.

    John
  • kimby
    kimby Member Posts: 797
    Options
    Me Too
    Vicki,

    I lost my hair, too. I never wanted a wig and scarves felt odd. I also don't like those 'canzer hats'. I guess I just didn't want to wear anything I wouldn't have liked before canzer.

    I wore baseball caps to sporting events and regular hats to other events. I wore dressy, pretty hats to church and funky, fun hats everywhere else. I have a full collection now in different colors and styles.

    I went bald at home. Everyone got used to it and I loved it! My hair is coming back in now and is only about 3/4" long. Just right for swim season. I really am not as anxious as I think I should be to get normal length hair again. Life is full of surprises!

    Kimby
  • CherylHutch
    CherylHutch Member Posts: 1,375 Member
    Options
    JR said:

    Hair loss
    After my surgery and starting chemo, I was actually looking forward to losing my hair. I cut my hair very short anyway. I decided that any day that I didn't have to shave my face was a good day. Just my luck, my hair didn't fall out. I know that hair loss is a much larger issue for a woman than a man but remember, it will grow back. Good luck.

    John

    Hey John!!
    Good to see you posting!! It was just a matter of time that we'd get to meet you ... so glad to see ya here on the boards :)

    Welcome to the club, even though you have sort of been here all along ... via your lovely wife :)

    Huggggggs,

    Cheryl
  • snommintj
    snommintj Member Posts: 601
    Options
    kimby said:

    Me Too
    Vicki,

    I lost my hair, too. I never wanted a wig and scarves felt odd. I also don't like those 'canzer hats'. I guess I just didn't want to wear anything I wouldn't have liked before canzer.

    I wore baseball caps to sporting events and regular hats to other events. I wore dressy, pretty hats to church and funky, fun hats everywhere else. I have a full collection now in different colors and styles.

    I went bald at home. Everyone got used to it and I loved it! My hair is coming back in now and is only about 3/4" long. Just right for swim season. I really am not as anxious as I think I should be to get normal length hair again. Life is full of surprises!

    Kimby

    I never lost my hair but....
    I'm going to shave it right now so you'll have some company. I'll post a pic some time soon to prove it.
  • VickiCO
    VickiCO Member Posts: 917
    Options
    snommintj said:

    I never lost my hair but....
    I'm going to shave it right now so you'll have some company. I'll post a pic some time soon to prove it.

    John
    What a sweetie you are!

    Vicki
  • Annabelle41415
    Annabelle41415 Member Posts: 6,742 Member
    Options
    Beautiful
    I bet after you get used to it you will consider yourself beautiful just because you are. I know I just got my hair cut short yesterday and my daughter said we will go this short for now and take it from there. If I have to go shorter I will. I do have plenty of wigs though and I wouldn't have a problem wearing them because I used to a long time ago. Hair grows back and I bet it will be healthier and prettier than ever.

    Kim
  • menright
    menright Member Posts: 256 Member
    Options
    Hair
    Vicki:

    Good luck with your new look. I just watched GI Jane the movie and Demi looked good with a buzz cut. I'm sure you do as well.

    Mike
  • Shayenne
    Shayenne Member Posts: 2,342
    Options
    menright said:

    Hair
    Vicki:

    Good luck with your new look. I just watched GI Jane the movie and Demi looked good with a buzz cut. I'm sure you do as well.

    Mike

    I can....
    ...see where you're coming from...my doctor told me I wouldn't lose my hair on Folfiri, but I would have hair thinning...and I do have long, thick hair, but can see the clumps of hair coming out in the shower, and on my brush..it's honestly abit shocking and scary at first, but I been coming to accept that my hair may be gone soon as well, and won't care if I have to shave it, I feel once the time comes, I'm all for it as well, I too, like Phil, would rather be alive, I'm sure my hair will grow in just fine again, even though there may be more gray to it LOL!

    Hugssss!
    ~Donna
  • VickiCO
    VickiCO Member Posts: 917
    Options
    Thanks everyone...
    My hair grows REALLY fast. I had it buzzed really close on Sunday and today (Tuesday) I look like a Chia Pet! It's funny, I had red hair buzzed off, but brown is growing in (not and Aveda color for sure! LOL!) But I have faith it will 'turn' red again when this chemo is done.

    Thanks for all the support. I have embraced my new look and am moving forward.

    vicki
  • Debb Hoy
    Debb Hoy Member Posts: 2
    Options
    When I woke up and my hair
    When I woke up and my hair was in bed with me...that was it! I now have about 60 hats and am the proud owner of 6 totally different wigs, from short red hot red---to blond and beautiful and the best part sometimes people don't even know you are there!!!!! No hair in the summer heat---GREAT!! I love being different all the time I change with my mood. There are things we are never going to be able to control but wigs and caps oh yeah!

    Debb