Hi, I am new here

Moopy23

A Belated Hello
Ksstizme, I also welcome you to the board. I am sorry I missed your post earlier.

I hope that your meeting today with your surgeon went well and that at least some of your questions were answered. I remember myself having so many questions and fears at that point. As you have seen, the women here are a wonderful, knowledgeable, and caring group. They are remarkable and will be here for you.

As far as second opinions on treatment, I would--and did--go to another oncologist rather than to my OB/GYN and primary care doctor (and I truly love my primary care doctor. She got me to a surgeon on the 3rd day after my biopsy).

Re hair falling out, mine started seriously falling out on Day 21 of the first treatment. You will have more questions on that later, and we will be here when you're ready.

Finally, as far as relationships, like Susan said, if your marriage is strong to begin with, it will become stronger. I did not know how much my husband loved me, and how extraordinary he is, until after my diagnosis. When we married, our priest said that he wished us some days of adversity--because in adversity our bond would strengthen and our love grow deeper. He was right. Many women here will tell you the same. I think you will find that your husband loves you and finds you beautiful with and without hair, if it comes to that.

tatooedinpink

Ksstizme welcome :-)
Looks like you have already received tons of good advice.


I will add that you should continue to ask questions from all your doctors, until you are 100% comfortable with your decision. The one you make is the right one for you.
I chose all recommended treatment after surgey and have not regretted it.

My hair fell out on day 19. About 2-3 weeks before that, I had it cut pretty short so that it wouldn't be such a mess coming out, and glad I did. For me, my scalp became really sore when it was about to come out, like a sunburn. I then brushed all of it out, and my husband cleaned it up with a head shave. The soreness was gone immediately. That felt great.

I had some beautiful rhinestone bandanas I wore for a long time. I make them now.
If you want more headcover and wig advice later, I can help. It is not a trivial thing to ask. It was one of the hardest parts for me.

Anyway, good luck and I will keep you in my prayers.

Sincerely,

Debbie

neda

tgf said:

Questions/Answers
I know it has been a whirlwind since your diagnosis ... but things will start to make sense ... I promise.

I had a lumpectomy on 1/21/09 ... and the lymph nodes were clear. At the time the surgeon said all I would need would be radiation however, after meeting with the oncologist it was determined that I also needed chemo. I was terrified. The thought of being sick as a dog for months was more than my mind could handle. Anyway ... it seems that there are lab results that come back AFTER surgery and those results are what determine much of the treatment plan. My treatment consists of 12 weekly infusions of taxol and herceptin. I had a port put in and that has made the infusions a breeze. Really. I can't imagine having them poking and prodding for veins every week. I don't think I could do it without the port! I've already had 9 treatments and I can honestly say I have not "felt" sick at all during this time. The only side-effects I've had are manageable. After my 12th treatment I will start 6 weeks of daily radiation ... and the herceptin infusion will continue every 3 weeks for a year.

Yes ... it's a lot more than the lumpectomy and the radiation I had thought I'd need ... but if it helps in any way ... I can do it.

As far as your hair falling out ... and other side effects ... it all depends on the drugs you are given. Different drugs have different side effects and even then ... everyone has different reactions to the different drugs. It is amazing what can me done now to keep the side effects to a minimum. Since my taxol/herceptin combination is NOT one of the "stronger" chemo treatments I convinced myself I could do it. And ... so far so good. I was told taxol would cause my hair to thin ... so I was prepared for that. The only thing is ... I thought by "thinning" it meant a few hairs here ... a few hairs there... but on day 15 from my first treatment I ran my fingers through my hair and had a hand full of hair. At that point I called a friend and told her I'd be over right away for her to shave the whole thing. I didn't want to mess with flying hair ... and bald spots here and there. So ... it was shaved and I've been fine with hats and scarves.

I would suggest that you make a list of your questions for the oncologist appointment Wednesday ... and try to take someone with you into the room as you talk. It helps to have that extra set of ears. And ... take notes. Don't leave until ALL of your questions have been answered to your satisfaction.

Also ... you will be amazed at the wonderful women (and a few men) on this discussion board. You can ask anything ... you can say anything ... you can vent etc. etc. etc. We are ALL here for each other. This is a wonderful "learning/sharing" place ... and we are all here to support each other.

Welcome to a club no one wants to be a part of.

hugs.
Teena

interesting
I am so afraid of your comend. I had a stage 1a invasive DCIS and lymph nodes were not involved, so after surgery my oncologist recomended 6 weeks of radiation and then tamoxifen for 5 years. I am wondering what was the stage of your cancer? because that makes a difference in deciding for treatment.Please let me know.

Thanks.

Lelana

tgf said:

Questions/Answers
I know it has been a whirlwind since your diagnosis ... but things will start to make sense ... I promise.

I had a lumpectomy on 1/21/09 ... and the lymph nodes were clear. At the time the surgeon said all I would need would be radiation however, after meeting with the oncologist it was determined that I also needed chemo. I was terrified. The thought of being sick as a dog for months was more than my mind could handle. Anyway ... it seems that there are lab results that come back AFTER surgery and those results are what determine much of the treatment plan. My treatment consists of 12 weekly infusions of taxol and herceptin. I had a port put in and that has made the infusions a breeze. Really. I can't imagine having them poking and prodding for veins every week. I don't think I could do it without the port! I've already had 9 treatments and I can honestly say I have not "felt" sick at all during this time. The only side-effects I've had are manageable. After my 12th treatment I will start 6 weeks of daily radiation ... and the herceptin infusion will continue every 3 weeks for a year.

Yes ... it's a lot more than the lumpectomy and the radiation I had thought I'd need ... but if it helps in any way ... I can do it.

As far as your hair falling out ... and other side effects ... it all depends on the drugs you are given. Different drugs have different side effects and even then ... everyone has different reactions to the different drugs. It is amazing what can me done now to keep the side effects to a minimum. Since my taxol/herceptin combination is NOT one of the "stronger" chemo treatments I convinced myself I could do it. And ... so far so good. I was told taxol would cause my hair to thin ... so I was prepared for that. The only thing is ... I thought by "thinning" it meant a few hairs here ... a few hairs there... but on day 15 from my first treatment I ran my fingers through my hair and had a hand full of hair. At that point I called a friend and told her I'd be over right away for her to shave the whole thing. I didn't want to mess with flying hair ... and bald spots here and there. So ... it was shaved and I've been fine with hats and scarves.

I would suggest that you make a list of your questions for the oncologist appointment Wednesday ... and try to take someone with you into the room as you talk. It helps to have that extra set of ears. And ... take notes. Don't leave until ALL of your questions have been answered to your satisfaction.

Also ... you will be amazed at the wonderful women (and a few men) on this discussion board. You can ask anything ... you can say anything ... you can vent etc. etc. etc. We are ALL here for each other. This is a wonderful "learning/sharing" place ... and we are all here to support each other.

Welcome to a club no one wants to be a part of.

hugs.
Teena

Answers !
tgf is right on the button about all of what she has said !
The only thing i would suggest is getting a voice recorder to take with you to the doctors !
If it's O.K. with your doctor to do so, because you will more than likely not remember half of what the doctor tells you when you get home !
I do that for my wife Loni and it helps later on.
The most important thing to do is ask questions, you can also ask the same one's here,and gets advice from those that have gone through this.
You will most likely get fatigue from the treatments. Most of the drugs used today are not that bad. But there are some that can be very bad, so tell your doctor immediately if you even think your having any side affect ! I can't stress that enough ! Loni did and it was real bad ! She is O.K. now and on different drugs now, and I might say, She is winning this battle for the third time !!!
When your doctor says they got it all, what they mean is that they got all that they could see ! Cancer cells are to small to see until they grow and multiply, and breast cancer cells can migrate to other parts of the body and lay dormant for years, and then there it is again.
The good thing about breast cancer cells is they are treatable, as where other forms of cancer are not as easy to deal with. All that you will be reading will not apply to you !
It's hard to seperate what applys to you from the rest, so don't let everything you read get you upset. Know that you are going to be O.K. and live a long time! That's the hardest thing to believe when told to you, even from your doctor. But it's true ! The medicines of today are not the ones from 12 years ago, and do a much better job. They work !
It's an old saying and it applys here; "There's nothing to fear but fear it's self !"
Tom and Loni( 69 and still kicking hard)

chili

Welcome
Welcome - you've found a wonderful site for encouragement and hope. I can't add much to what's already been said everyone is right on. My husband and family made my recovery so much easier. When I was nauseaus they made me small meals and "made" me eat. When I was exhausted they'd lay next tome and cuddle. My grandson got me a teddy bear to cuddle when he couldn't be there. Take lots of notes - get lots of rest - use your doctor's expertise but rely on your intuition to make the right decisions for you. Hugs and hope.

Jadie

Welcome
Hi Ksstizme and a great big belated welcome. Sorry I missed your post earlier. You have got loads of good advice here so I will put an amen to all that has been said. Keep us posted on how you are doing.

Hugs
Jadie

mimivac

Welcome, Ksstizme
First, take a deep breath. When I was first diagnosed in November 2008, I ran around bleary-eyed with no sleep convinced that I was on my way to the afterlife. Only later, and with the help of this group, did I calm down and breath. I know everything seems overwhelming right now, but soon you will "get the hang" of this, too. Our minds and bodies are so amazing in their ability to adapt to unknown situations. You will absolutely get through this.

Chemo and radiation are insurance measures for those of us who have had the cancer tumor(s) removed. Chemo is systemic treatment and kills fast growing cells, including any stray cancer cells that may have escaped the breast and lodged themselves in your body somewhere. Radiation targets the breast and makes sure that the area is an inhospitable place for future cancer to grow. These treatments are life savers. I had a lumpectomy and then aggressive chemo for four months. I can't say it was a party, but I got through it better than I expected. Now, I am in week two of six weeks of radiation. It is no big deal, so far. Yes, your hair may fall out. It is shocking at first, but like everything else, you will get used to it. My husband has reacted beautifully to everything. He doesn't care about the hair or the scars (which are minor, by the way) as long as I am OK. Like many women have said, my marriage is stronger as a result.

You don't have to think about everything right now. Just take it a day, or an hour, at a time. Do the next thing. Breath. Repeat. Although, it may not feel like it now, there is life after breast cancer. There is even life during treatment. I am still in active treatment, yet my life is great again. I eat healthy foods, exercise, go out with friends, laugh, work full time, and have abundant hope for the future. This from a person who, a few short months ago, was paralyzed with fear and convinced her fate was sealed. It wasn't. And neither is yours.

Please let us know about your doctor's appointment.

Mimi

Jeanne D

Moopy23 said:

A Belated Hello
Ksstizme, I also welcome you to the board. I am sorry I missed your post earlier.

I hope that your meeting today with your surgeon went well and that at least some of your questions were answered. I remember myself having so many questions and fears at that point. As you have seen, the women here are a wonderful, knowledgeable, and caring group. They are remarkable and will be here for you.

As far as second opinions on treatment, I would--and did--go to another oncologist rather than to my OB/GYN and primary care doctor (and I truly love my primary care doctor. She got me to a surgeon on the 3rd day after my biopsy).

Re hair falling out, mine started seriously falling out on Day 21 of the first treatment. You will have more questions on that later, and we will be here when you're ready.

Finally, as far as relationships, like Susan said, if your marriage is strong to begin with, it will become stronger. I did not know how much my husband loved me, and how extraordinary he is, until after my diagnosis. When we married, our priest said that he wished us some days of adversity--because in adversity our bond would strengthen and our love grow deeper. He was right. Many women here will tell you the same. I think you will find that your husband loves you and finds you beautiful with and without hair, if it comes to that.

Hi Ksstizme
I hope your meeting went well and you got some answers. Always make sure that someone is with you and have them write down what is said or tape record it. My husband went with me to every appointment, and, either wrote it down or recorded it. When you leave there, you just forget what was even said and you need to remember it somehow. I do wish you the best.

I always knew that I married my soulmate, and, having cancer now twice, I also married my stonghold, my best friend, my everything. After all of these years, we still act and feel like newlyweds. It has never changed, only gotten better! To me, there is no other man in the world that could be as kind, gentle, manly, gorgeous..ok I will stop. lol I just love him to death! So, even though you have a strong marriage to start with...this can even make it stronger somehow. Take care of yourself and best of luck!

tami90650

hI SWEETIE.
WELCOME TO OUR SUPPORT BOARD. I'm sorry that you had reason to come join us but we are a good group here. Don't worry about the crying fit. This is a a scarey situation and your intitled to a good cry. As for the hair ordeal, I recommend you get a short hair cut now so it wont be so messy when it does come out. Mine fail out 14 days after my first chemo. I was driving down the freeway with my windows down and my hair started flying past me. It fell out at the touch. It was weird. My head was real sensative too after that. This august 2009 will be 2 years since my last chemo and I actually have great hair. Its a couple inches past my shoulders now with a healthy pretty curl to it that some women spend hours each morning just to get this affect. Wigs gave me a head ache and they kept riding up my head. It was comical to see me pulling it back onto my head. I was actually more comfortable wearing scarves. Theres a program called look good feel better or something like that through the american cancer society. It was great fun and I got a bunch of free stuff including scarves and they showed us several ways to wear them. I recommend everyone go to that class. Call the acs in your area for the details. As for your fears on treatments, your doctor will direct you with that. I read alot of that stuff on the internet and it ended up scaring me. God is with you and together, God, you and all of us, you can do this. So keep us posted okay? Where do you live anyways? love you tami