Just wanted to say thank you....

tprater805
tprater805 Member Posts: 9
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Everyone on here has been so wonderfull and suportive. I just want to thank everyone that has welcomed me. It took me so long to get on this and stop pretending that I was not sick. I didnt want to talk about it with anyone. I just wanted to act like I was normal and not going through all this fun stuff :)
Anyways agian thank you everyone. You are all wonderfull and I know now that I am not alone in my fight :)
Tina

Comments

  • Christmas Girl
    Christmas Girl Member Posts: 3,682 Member
    You are not alone, Tina
    You are most welcome here!

    Please keep us informed, visit often, whenever you want or need to.

    Kind regards, Susan
  • mmontero38
    mmontero38 Member Posts: 1,510
    You're welcome Tina. I'm
    You're welcome Tina. I'm glad you found us and post whenever you feel the need to, we'll be here with open arms. Hugs, Lili
  • Ltalcott
    Ltalcott Member Posts: 119
    pretending
    You are so right about pretending.

    I think it's something all mothers do, and I'm just finding out, it's something that we BC sisters do.

    Lisa
  • mimivac
    mimivac Member Posts: 2,143
    Glad you are here
    So many of us have found sustaining support on this site. Pretending and denial are a part of this "journey." I did it and still do, to an extent. In a way, it's a coping mechanism to get on with our lives. We all pretend, cancer or not, that our lives are not ephemeral and that we have all the time in the world. It's a good kind of pretending. Take care and keep posting!

    Mimi
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    You're Welcome!
    Oh yes, we all pretend~ I was the Queen of Pretending. I always said I was in Ostrich Therapy. It worked for a while, but I am too talkative and thus got my mouth full of sand, and others kept tripping over my fat Backside. So, I stood up, and took charge. It seems you have too! HOORAY!

    We will walk with you through your journey, next to you, holding your hand, and somedays even pulling you when you don't feel like walking!

    Hugs,
    Claudia
  • rjjj
    rjjj Member Posts: 1,822 Member
    Hi Tina
    I am so glad you are here. I don't know what i would do without the support of all our sisters here. You are not alone in your fight. I know about pretending I am Ok. I still wake up every morning and think everything is fine..then i feel my bald head and oh yeah. But it is getting better. Each day as we get closer to the finish line we will start to feel more like us again. And as Mimi says, coping mechanisms are a good thing..I am wishing you all the best and you are in my prayers.
    love and hugs
    jackie
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    Come here often! We are family!!!
    Society sets us up to want to hide our troubles. 'How are you' is a greeting...I usually ask if they REALLY want to know, or just saying hello...ROFL....

    We are one of the best information sites around. We have so many 'been there/done that' stories, that I would imagine it would be hard to stump us...

    Please feel free to ask anything, of any of us...(well, except me to post a naked happy dance pic...rofl!).

    Welcome to the family, Tina!

    Hugs, Kathi
  • tgf
    tgf Member Posts: 950 Member
    KathiM said:

    Come here often! We are family!!!
    Society sets us up to want to hide our troubles. 'How are you' is a greeting...I usually ask if they REALLY want to know, or just saying hello...ROFL....

    We are one of the best information sites around. We have so many 'been there/done that' stories, that I would imagine it would be hard to stump us...

    Please feel free to ask anything, of any of us...(well, except me to post a naked happy dance pic...rofl!).

    Welcome to the family, Tina!

    Hugs, Kathi

    pretending
    When I read the word "pretending" it hit me like a ton of bricks. Since my diagnosis in January I have been great at moving along the needed steps ... biopsies, lumpectomy ... now chemo ... then it will be radiation then ... blah, blah, blah. I've been plugging along with a smile on my face and head held high and would tell people I was "fine." And ... I think physically I am "fine" ... in the way that I don't "FEEL" sick. I'm not on the strong chemo that causes nausea and truthfully so far ... other than a few "minor" side effects ... physically this has been a breeze. But ... I must admit that I am getting tired of hearing people say how proud they are of me ... and my strength. Well ... I don't think it's been strength at all ... I think it is just taking it one step at a time ... because that's all I can handle. It's as if I am "right on the edge" and all it's going to take is one tiny little something ... and the lid is going to blow off.

    I had been wondering if I was in some sort of denial ... but I don't think that's the case... because I do know and accept the seriousness of what's going on with my body ... but I guess "pretending" is a perfect word for how I've been acting to the "outside world." I put the happy face on ... tell people I'm fine ... and they tell me how proud they are of me ... and on and on. I don't know if I've been trying to convince them that I am fine ... or trying to convince myself. At any rate ... I have been pretending.

    As I said ... physically I do feel fine ... but deep down inside ... emotionally/psychologically I'm not fine. I'm angry and frustrated. My concentration is at zero ... and I am constantly exhausted. If I didn't have to get up every morning to go to work I'd probably stay in bed all day. My house is a total mess because I don't have the energy to clean anything. I'm lucky I get the laundry done ... but it never gets folded ... I just pull clean stuff out of the clothes basket.

    Living alone just makes the frustration worse because there's no one to vent to... especially since everyone thinks I'm doing "fine." Thank goodness for this discussion board and all of you wonderful "listeners." You have no idea how much I appreciate the words of encouragement ... and those virtual hugs are the best.

    much love,
    Teena
  • cats_toy
    cats_toy Member Posts: 1,462 Member
    My denial story:
    Tina, this is my denial story:
    I went to my gp to have her take care of the cyst that was now bothering me nonstop. She sent me immediately to the Breast Center, where they did a needle biopsy and told me they would call in a few days with the results, but were positive it was cancer. I told my husband they were wrong and would see when the results came in. They called with the results, and I still said they were mistaken. I went to the onc surgeon, told him it was a mistake, said he can go ahead and take it out, but he would see that they were wrong. I woke from surgery, they told me it was bigger than they thought, had to take more tissue and skin than they expected, and took a string of nodes, because the first was positive (none of the rest were). Then I finally accepted it (sort of). So, after all that, just to let you know, we are all in denial to a certain extent throughout all of our experiences with the big C. Let us know you you are doing now and how it is going.
    Cat
  • tasha_111
    tasha_111 Member Posts: 2,072
    cats_toy said:

    My denial story:
    Tina, this is my denial story:
    I went to my gp to have her take care of the cyst that was now bothering me nonstop. She sent me immediately to the Breast Center, where they did a needle biopsy and told me they would call in a few days with the results, but were positive it was cancer. I told my husband they were wrong and would see when the results came in. They called with the results, and I still said they were mistaken. I went to the onc surgeon, told him it was a mistake, said he can go ahead and take it out, but he would see that they were wrong. I woke from surgery, they told me it was bigger than they thought, had to take more tissue and skin than they expected, and took a string of nodes, because the first was positive (none of the rest were). Then I finally accepted it (sort of). So, after all that, just to let you know, we are all in denial to a certain extent throughout all of our experiences with the big C. Let us know you you are doing now and how it is going.
    Cat

    Cat
    You sound exactly like me, word for word! I laughed and joked all through chemo, rads the lot..Then after it was all over came down with a really crushing depression. Anyway the happy pills are working well now.
    Tina, so glad you found us. Welcome. Hugs Jxxxxxxxxx
  • Jan_M
    Jan_M Member Posts: 116
    cats_toy said:

    My denial story:
    Tina, this is my denial story:
    I went to my gp to have her take care of the cyst that was now bothering me nonstop. She sent me immediately to the Breast Center, where they did a needle biopsy and told me they would call in a few days with the results, but were positive it was cancer. I told my husband they were wrong and would see when the results came in. They called with the results, and I still said they were mistaken. I went to the onc surgeon, told him it was a mistake, said he can go ahead and take it out, but he would see that they were wrong. I woke from surgery, they told me it was bigger than they thought, had to take more tissue and skin than they expected, and took a string of nodes, because the first was positive (none of the rest were). Then I finally accepted it (sort of). So, after all that, just to let you know, we are all in denial to a certain extent throughout all of our experiences with the big C. Let us know you you are doing now and how it is going.
    Cat

    Denial and in a fog
    Denial because they are telling you that you have cancer and you feel fine, all you came for was a mammogram to check a cyst you have had before. Everything starts going so fast, surgery, chemo, radiation...non stop appointments. Still you wonder...how could I have cancer, I was fine, and then they broke me. Pain, sick and tired.

    But now I can see the light at the end of the tunnel 3 1/2 weeks left of radiation. Then a new normal starts. But I wonder did they really get all the cancer. A fear that lives within us.
  • Christmas Girl
    Christmas Girl Member Posts: 3,682 Member
    I think most of us "pretend...
    ... at least some of the time. Particularly in the earliest stages of the journey. As others have already said, I believe it's a type of coping mechanism. Actually, it's probably more like a SURVIVAL mechanism! For our emotional & mental health.

    Kind regards, Susan
  • Christmas Girl
    Christmas Girl Member Posts: 3,682 Member
    Ltalcott said:

    pretending
    You are so right about pretending.

    I think it's something all mothers do, and I'm just finding out, it's something that we BC sisters do.

    Lisa

    Lisa...
    Your little dog is ADORABLY PRECIOUS!

    Kind regards, Susan
  • peggy65
    peggy65 Member Posts: 100
    tina, i think that your
    tina, i think that your feelings are normal. just remember, one day you think you are fine and the next day you are told that you may have cancer. entering the cancer journey is very challenging. you mention pretending; i think that is our way of coping with situations. when we can't take it anymore we try to act like everything is fine. i have found that since i have finished my chemo and rads people have said to me, "you look fabulous" and inside i feel fatigued, screwed up or many times down in the dumps. i feel that if i tell people how i really feel they will not want to hear it. but when i look at the larger picture i seem to feel that we all need each other and a true friend will always want to know how you are feeling. love, pegggy